My anxious daughter - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 5 Old 06-07-2004, 05:30 PM - Thread Starter
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I don't know what to do for my dd. She has such anxiety that it effects her eating habits. She will only be 10 in July, but she is so easily stressed. I went to and put in her symptoms and it said it was most likely something called RAP (recurrent abdominal pain) which usually caused by stress in children (girls more than boys) ages 4-12. I also looked up anxiety in children there too and apparently it isn't uncommon, and usually manifests itself as stomach ailments, and she is in the right age group and gender for it to be a problem for her.
I spoke with my midwife and she suggested a B-complex and extra magnisuim(sp). I have also been trying to get my dd to try some relaxation stuff. Also a month ago we hwere really working with her on this and had the kids doing Yoga every evening and that seemed to help (we just sort of forgot about it recently). I am thinking of taking her to our new Naturopath (we have just recently got insurance again) and see if he has anything to suggest.
Does anyone have any ideas on what to do to help her? She is so miserable so often. It breaks my heart.
I do ask her what is bothering her but she swears it is nothing, that she doesn't feel stressed or anxious about any thing she can think of. But her is an example that happened yetserday/today... a few weeks ago we got something in the mail for a summer daycamp that was a week long (this week) it was all about Victorian girls etc and she really wanted to do it. So I signed her up. Well yesterday she had a date with her dad and she was so nauseated and anxious she didn't want to go. He finally talked her into it and they had a good time, yet that evening she couldn't eat dinner and she said she felt sick and "gassy" and went to be early. This morning she didn't want to go to the daycamp, but I said she should at least give it a try, if she didn't want to stay or go again the next day I was OK with that and we would figure something out. She agreed, and went this morning, again feeling sick to her stomach, and anxious. When I left the building she wouldn't sit with the other girls, and she looked so sad and frightened. This happen last year too with Girl Scout day camp (she went for a week... she wanted to go, and did great after the first day was over). And she was like this when she was in school too. (We homeschool now).
I don't know what to do for her. It makes me want to cry how stressed out new things make her. I gusee she has been that way her whole life, but it is so painful to see now that she is becoming a young woman.
All new things tend to freak her out, like learning a new skill or meeting new people or going someplace new. I mean even our weekly park play days with the other homeschoolers stresses her out to some degree even thought she has good friends there and we have been doing it for 2 years now.
I am not a super social person so I don't want anyone to think I am trying to push her to be some social butterfly, but I hate to see her make herself sick with anxiety.



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#2 of 5 Old 06-07-2004, 10:30 PM
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Well, I don't really believe in psychiatrists for many things, but this would be one I'd go to one for.

Your daughter sounds very much like my sisster and I as kids. I eventually worked it out, my sister really didn't. I think with some real help, we'd have done better.

Also, there is something to be said for chemistry. People can have an imbalance that causes them to fear things. Your naturopath may be a big help there.

I'd sign her up for a Yoga clas, and fast. I'd make it priority one, since it seemed to help. Also, if this is just a social issue for her, maybe having lots of positive connnections will help her. Camps and lessons can be good for that. On the other hand, I hate lessons and classes. I'm much more comfortable reading about how to do something. I seem to learn quite well that way. If she's comfortable having a few friends over, or going to familiar places, maybe she would be happier avoiding large groups.

If she's anxious in general, I'd find a great Psych. Ask your friends, they will often have one, but not mention it. We're soooo sensitive. Finding out WHY we feel the way we do can help us to work it all out.

So I guess it depends on the intensity of her symptoms. I wish Dr. Phil lived next door to me!
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#3 of 5 Old 06-07-2004, 10:56 PM
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I just wanted to say that I am going through the same thing with my 7 year old, Samantha. Right down to wanting to sign up for activities and then making herself sick about them before hand (migraine headaches for her) and looking *so* stressed when we are going. I try to let the stress off and let her know it is okay if she does not want to do it after all, but the thing is she *wants* to want to do it so badly, I can tell. It kills her!

I have thought about seeing a psychiatrist for her too. I know that medication can help a great deal for anxiety disorders, but for a child this age that really concerns me.

I think what you are doing is good--showing her loving concern and supporting her. At least that has to make her feel a little better.

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#4 of 5 Old 06-08-2004, 03:16 PM - Thread Starter
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Well, her day went great. She really wanted to go back, and said she had a wonderful time. I pretty much thought she would, but just looking at her when I leave is so terrible.
Last night no upset stomach, or nausea. She ate all her dinner and had ice cream for dessert. She had a great day. This is why I think it is a head thing and not a physical thing. Because I would think, anyway, that if it was a "medical" problem that it would be more predicable.
I have an appointment for her to see the Naturopath on Thursday, hopefully he will have some advice or something.


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#5 of 5 Old 06-09-2004, 02:14 AM
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It seems like taking her to see a counselor might be helpful. My dd has also suffered from stomach stress. It was worse a couple years ago, but still comes up occasionally when she's stressed out. Transitions are very difficult for her and I can almost predict when it's going to be stressful and give her stomachaches. She's pretty much outgrowing it as she gets more confident and comfortable in her own skin. But I think a good therapist could really help this situation and that would probably be my approach if it got to the point and age of your dd (mine dd is 8).
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