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#1 of 18 Old 06-11-2004, 09:52 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Im new here and have enjoyed reading your posts. My issue is with my "almost 12" year old daughter wanting to wear a bikini this year. She has worn them in the past but with her new budding body I cringe a little in the dressing room. She has such a wonderful body image and feels comfortable and cute in the suit. I would hate to have that change now especially with so many girls hating their own reflection. Any advice. I think Im more worried what other parents might think : than how I feel. Which to be honest.....I bought the suit. It has monkeys on it! Very cute yet still a bikini. Help!
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#2 of 18 Old 06-11-2004, 10:09 PM
 
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I could say that they shouldn't be looking!
I know what you're saying though, as I'm there too...though she doesn't have any sign of breasts yet, she's getting some hips on her.
*sigh*
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#3 of 18 Old 06-11-2004, 10:30 PM
 
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We are supposed to go shopping soon for a suit for my 14 yo (tomorrow!! ack!) she wants a 2 piece but not a bikini. We are having a heck of a time finding suits that are covering her up more than we have found. And tha tis her choice. I keep threateneing her I will buy her a string bikini if she doesn't quit! (She would be absolutely mortified!)

My mom freaked at me having a bikini at 16, but admitted today she had 2 at my daughter's age. This "other parent" wouldn't have a problem with other girls wearing 2 peice suits of the non string bikini styles at these ages.
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#4 of 18 Old 06-11-2004, 10:34 PM
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I usually try to point out to them that they don't want to look cheap or give off the wrong impression. I try to let them know that it's fine to look cute, but do they really want the boys at the beach (and name a few) to be looking and thinking the things boys think? THis usually has them buy something that covers a bit.

What to do with the one who insists on wearing shirts that look like her 2 yo sister outgrew them?!
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#5 of 18 Old 06-11-2004, 10:41 PM
 
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Well,my 12 yr old is a boy...so hopefully I wont be seeing him in a bikini,ever : But I can remember when I was 12 EVERYONE was wearing 2 piece bathing suits, and my mom NEVER let me have one, AND I WAS SO MAD EVERY TIME I WAS AROUND OTHER GIRLS !! They had on cute bathing suits,and there I was in frumpy bathing suit....grrr....where was I going w/ this? OH Yeah- maybe just check to see what other girls her age are wearing!
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#6 of 18 Old 06-11-2004, 11:00 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Im assuming that what other girls are wearing this year is a two piece suit. As that seems to be all they carry in the stores! Augh. She started wearing two pieces at a young age because she is very long waisted. And she was always pulling the one pieces out of her butt.
Sunny: having a 12 year old boy what is your insight. Are boy their age looking? And if so, would they look "that way" at a girl in a two piece more than a girl in a one piece? I do worry about the older crowd assuming that she is older than she is based on her body. The attendant at the dressing room said an older man was sitting outside the rooms just waiting for a peek of girls trying on suits. So therefore girls should be more modest. I thought WRONG!!! You should have called the security lady. But thats a whole other issue. Blame the kids instead of the perv.

WA MOM
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#7 of 18 Old 06-12-2004, 03:37 AM
 
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You might want to try lans in. they have some very cute, but modest twopeices. also just keep looking and make the deal that if she can find one that isfarily modest that 2 peice is fine. It has been my experiance that some one peices can reveal more of the unwanted stuff than a 2 peice thatis cut well and fits well. BUt skimp seems to be what I am seing around. Speedo usually makes nice ones that cover well.

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#8 of 18 Old 06-12-2004, 11:17 PM
 
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Hey WAmom---

Were you at Target? I saw a *really* cute red monkey swimsuit there in the girl sizes.

If you are anywhere near Woodinville, they have an Hanna Anderson outlet and might have a little big more modest two piece.

I would let my DD wear a two piece. I'd figure, yeah, she might end up self-conscious. But, if I made a big deal of it she probably would for sure. KWIM.

Of course, its easy for me to say that--- DD is 5

 

 

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#9 of 18 Old 06-12-2004, 11:25 PM
 
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i do let my 14.5yo wear a bikini even tho i honestly don't want her to.
We compromised and found a full cut bottom and tankini top
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#10 of 18 Old 06-13-2004, 02:10 AM - Thread Starter
 
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I decided to go ahead and let her wear that cute monkey suit (yes from Target). She went to a girls swim/bday party today and all but one girl was wear a two piece. That poor girl was wearing shorts and a t-shirt into the pool. I guess there are two extremes. Thanks, you were all very helpful.

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#11 of 18 Old 06-13-2004, 09:35 PM
 
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I wouldn't have a problem at all with it- I'd be happy if my daughter was that confident in her bod! That suit sounds soooo cute by the way!

Sahm mom to three lovely girls, and happily married to a great, sweet guy
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#12 of 18 Old 06-14-2004, 11:48 AM
 
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Tankinis are a great compromise.

Also, speedo and tyr make great "bikinis" that aren't revealing. They are more sporty.

Try REI http://www.rei.com/

or Title 9 http://www.title9sports.com/.

Most sporting goods places like Dick's or Galyans will have them.
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#13 of 18 Old 06-14-2004, 11:56 AM
 
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My dd (14 1/2) has been wearing 2 pieces for years. Not a issue here. If other parents think "something negative" it's about them not her. It's a bathing suit and she always picks one she likes that is cute and has never requested a string bikini anyway or something with thong bottoms.
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#14 of 18 Old 06-14-2004, 03:35 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by WAmom
Sunny: having a 12 year old boy what is your insight. Are boy their age looking? And if so, would they look "that way" at a girl in a two piece more than a girl in a one piece?
WA MOM
Well, for one my stepson would rather DIE than talk to me or his dad about girls,but luckily I used to work at a summer camp,where for 3 years I alone watched over boys ages9-12...so here is my insight: WHATEVER THEY ARE THINKING ABOUT GIRLS, THEY WILL THINK WETHER SHE IS NAKED,IN A 2PIECE BATHING SUIT,OR COVER HEAD TO TOE. Boys
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#15 of 18 Old 06-15-2004, 02:08 PM
 
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We found a suit at a local sports store. On sale too! She wanted a sports bra and shorts type suit. We ended up with a sports bra type top and regular bottoms. She freaked when I said I had to see it first to approve it. Why? Because she has messed up tan lines! Weirdo! Had nothing to do with the coverage or anything- her tan lines. I told her that wasn't what I was looking at!!!

If it ever stops raining, we might get to go to a pool.
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#16 of 18 Old 06-16-2004, 05:32 PM
 
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I just wanted to say that I had a really hard time finding a one piece for my two year old! let alone my 10 year old. The 10 year old has worn two pieces for the past couple of years, but asked for a one piece this year - hmmm, maybe it's those breast buds and pubic hair giving her a bit of self-conciousness...
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#17 of 18 Old 06-16-2004, 07:10 PM
 
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My older dd is 11. I do not allow a 2 piece bathing suit. I would allow a 2 piece tankini that covers like a 1 piece. I have never allowed a bikini, though, even when she was little. My concern is not with the 12 year old boys but the 40 year old men (this was also my concern from the time she was a toddler on - sorry, but they're out there). It may take some looking (a lot this season), but we've always found cute and stylish suits in a 1 piece style. Another advantage is having never allowed this, she does not even ask. I realize this may get harder as she gets older. I just don't see any redeeming value in allowing a 2 piece, regardless of what the other girls are wearing. I AM "cool" in other ways when it comes to clothes, I pay a little extra for her to have stylish brand names (though I snatch them up at yard sales and thrift, too, when I see them). I am just strict on modesty, and my daughter seems to respect that I take into consideration her feelings about dressing "cool" but knows I will not compromise in this area. I also do not allow shirts that show the belly, bra straps that show or spaghetti-strap style tank tops, etc. She knows these rules, and we work around them.

Good luck!

Tracey

Tracey, mama of 5 beloved children here with me on Earth and one precious son I will meet again in Heaven 6/17/09 - 9/6/09.

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#18 of 18 Old 06-17-2004, 01:00 AM
 
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never gave it any thought...as long as they wrap when walking around anywhere , keep the important stuff covered...well I want them to be comfortable...they have always chosen modest, 2 piece bathings suits although my younger daughter has a one piece she used for swimming lessons...
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