I posted here about constant lying (my 14 yr old), I feel like we are still not or barely moving forward.
I have fantasies about dropping him off at some boarding school which is not an option for many reasons.
My husband leaves me to do some work out of town for prolonged periods of time. As soon as he's gone my son starts upping the manipulations and lying.
He's still refusing to go to school (I get he's having a hard time socially etc.) but brings it to a point of insanity in my eyes.
Day 1 he says he's "sick" with something appropriately ambiguous and I know anxiety can make you feel queasy, so I let him have a day off.
Day 2 he gets up at 6:30 am and wakes me up telling me he's "unwell" and has a bath. As I start to wake up I wonder, is he really sick? So I ask/challenge him, is he prepared to go the walk in clinic down the road and wait up to 2 hours to see someone? He then starts digging in his heels about going to school so I called my husband to see if he could talk to our son about what was going on. Eventually after getting him out of bed multiple times and constant hectoring he goes to school and comes home looking bright, healthy, normal, cheerful even. He apologizes. I tell him, that's it, he's getting up on his own tomorrow or he will not play another computer game until he figures out a solution.
Day 3 I check on him and give him one wake up call, he says he's getting up, everything is OK. I check on him again and he's naked and in bed, with about 10-15 min before he has to leave for school. I end up shouting at him until he gets the hell out of bed... It's hard with dad constantly at him to get out of bed when he's here, and with me feeling like he must do it it for himself. My son said "But I still had time to go to school"
We need to get to the end of the year. I've already had the vice principal involved, sending me a list of all the homework assignments he hasn't completed, at my request. I could tell that p--d my son off, having the extent of his lying about homework revealed.
I've thought about getting his mattress and putting it into the living room so he can't shut the door on me. His room door has a lock on it. I don't like being a hard a-ss it doesn't come naturally but my son barely responds to anything. My husband made him a great private room as we were hoping this would be good for independence and morale but it's as if he's regressed, the lock was for a tenant who used to live with us.
The only reason I'm home with enough time to get him out of bed is because of a workplace injury, once I get back to work it's not going to be an option and I feel like I shouldn't be doing this in any case. I find my son so frustrating as he barely seems to give a &^&**(&* about anything (except computer games).
Another issue is that due to stressful school day mornings all the things we are trying to get him to take care of, he "has no time" to do them, like picking up his wet towel in the bathroom, his dirty dishes and garbage all over the place, he stays up late and leaves snack garbage all over the kitchen. All of our energy is getting him out of bed and not being naked/keeping up with basic hygeine.
Because I was also sick while dealing with this injury my son also did not do basic things like BATHE. I am honestly losing my mind.
I don't know if he realizes when someone legitimately is sick and needs help or if he cares.
I have fantasies about dropping him off at some boarding school which is not an option for many reasons.
My husband leaves me to do some work out of town for prolonged periods of time. As soon as he's gone my son starts upping the manipulations and lying.
He's still refusing to go to school (I get he's having a hard time socially etc.) but brings it to a point of insanity in my eyes.
Day 1 he says he's "sick" with something appropriately ambiguous and I know anxiety can make you feel queasy, so I let him have a day off.
Day 2 he gets up at 6:30 am and wakes me up telling me he's "unwell" and has a bath. As I start to wake up I wonder, is he really sick? So I ask/challenge him, is he prepared to go the walk in clinic down the road and wait up to 2 hours to see someone? He then starts digging in his heels about going to school so I called my husband to see if he could talk to our son about what was going on. Eventually after getting him out of bed multiple times and constant hectoring he goes to school and comes home looking bright, healthy, normal, cheerful even. He apologizes. I tell him, that's it, he's getting up on his own tomorrow or he will not play another computer game until he figures out a solution.
Day 3 I check on him and give him one wake up call, he says he's getting up, everything is OK. I check on him again and he's naked and in bed, with about 10-15 min before he has to leave for school. I end up shouting at him until he gets the hell out of bed... It's hard with dad constantly at him to get out of bed when he's here, and with me feeling like he must do it it for himself. My son said "But I still had time to go to school"
We need to get to the end of the year. I've already had the vice principal involved, sending me a list of all the homework assignments he hasn't completed, at my request. I could tell that p--d my son off, having the extent of his lying about homework revealed.
I've thought about getting his mattress and putting it into the living room so he can't shut the door on me. His room door has a lock on it. I don't like being a hard a-ss it doesn't come naturally but my son barely responds to anything. My husband made him a great private room as we were hoping this would be good for independence and morale but it's as if he's regressed, the lock was for a tenant who used to live with us.
The only reason I'm home with enough time to get him out of bed is because of a workplace injury, once I get back to work it's not going to be an option and I feel like I shouldn't be doing this in any case. I find my son so frustrating as he barely seems to give a &^&**(&* about anything (except computer games).
Another issue is that due to stressful school day mornings all the things we are trying to get him to take care of, he "has no time" to do them, like picking up his wet towel in the bathroom, his dirty dishes and garbage all over the place, he stays up late and leaves snack garbage all over the kitchen. All of our energy is getting him out of bed and not being naked/keeping up with basic hygeine.
Because I was also sick while dealing with this injury my son also did not do basic things like BATHE. I am honestly losing my mind.
I don't know if he realizes when someone legitimately is sick and needs help or if he cares.