Join Date: Jul 2002
Location: somewhere out there
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I agree that her behavior is unacceptable. I/we have been having some real problems with her latley and are at a loss over what to do... maybe you can help.
My dd is, well, extreamly munipulitive.I know what you are all thinking but belive me.... ITS ALOT WORSE. She has lied to us about our parenting., example, "daddy never wakes up in the morning and I dont get to eat until 2 pm', "mommy always leaves me alone with the baby" , "daddy hits me", "mommy says you are a bad daddy and cant take care of me", it goes on and on. We have finaly descoverd this after her father called me about her behavior and things started coming out. After a conference call with my dd, me, my dh, and her father we got everything out about the lying (witch was alot) and we feel so much better. The thing is, Carina has no remorse, empathy, or feelings for anyone but herself. I mean, saying her daddy hits her~!!!! Just to get attention!!!! He was hurt and upset as you could imagine. I know some of you might say is it really her or is it the dad... no, its her. She has munipulated everyone in the family. She makes everyone feel as though they are the ones to bond/breakthrough to her. Then she says... "dont tell anyone they will get mad at me". She has even come up with lies that have no meaning. "Mommy, you cook so good, daddy doesa not cook for me at all" then "daddy you cook so good, mommy does not cook at all". Now, you might think, how can we be so blind??? Well, let me tell you that she is that good. We are all very inteligant people (with the execption of my spelling) and not snowed very easily. I am worried about my new dd... I am worried for my older dd.... I am worried for everyone in her life. She is mean, cruel, unhappy, munipulative, and lying about almost everything. We are at a loss... she is too much. She gets attention, time, love, comunication, energy, dance classes, private school, toys, clothes, ect... what is she lacking??? She does it to everyone. She made my 90 year old grandma cry, her uncle (who adores her) wont let her come over to his house anymore, her dads girlfriend is scared to have her dd(4) around her. Help!!!!
What I have come up with (she comes back on the 13) is a schedual and routin for daily, weekly, and monthly. Chores, and activities and time spent with family. She craves routin and thats what I am going to try to do. We are giving her 6 months to shape up (she hates school to) and after that she will go to her dads for 6 months whos ways of dicaplining are very different and harsh... maybe this would work? If still she has not gotton better we will have to think about a school of some sort. She seems to need a good kick in the a## and I am just not good at that sort of thing (I do not belive in hitting) but she needs somthing and we just dont kow what it is. Now, there is so much more to this story and I will clarify anything necassary but this is getting so long at the moment. I just need any sugjestions to help make my dd a happy, healthy, loving child.