18 yr daughter leaving home- Army - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 5 Old 08-25-2002, 02:43 PM - Thread Starter
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My eighteen year old daughter is leaving tomorrow morning for the Army and I am in tears. I am proud of her and scared!!! I personally dislike war and can't get past the fact that that is what the Army is about. I have supported her in her decision and we have talked about all the things that could happen. She remains strong! I on the other hand am a weepy eyed sap!!


I keep trying to tell myself that this will pay for college and help her reach her goals. It will build leadership qualities. Yet I still feel awful!

Are there any other mum's out there who have children in military or want to join. What helps?

Or mum's just feeling the same way because their babes are leaving the nest!!!
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#2 of 5 Old 08-26-2002, 11:49 AM
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hey, i just wanted to let you know that someone else can empathize with you! my hubby is army, and has spent some time on the iraqi border, so you can imagine what that feels like!
you might try going to some military support boards, although the environment is COMPLETELY different from the one here at mothering.
www.usarmylove.tripod.com has a number of links, there's bound to be something for parents. i THINK www.silentwarriors.net has a forum for parents.
anyway, when she is in basic, you'll get a postcard saying that she arrived and is alright, and then you probably won't hear from her until it's over. do not send any care packages while she is in basic. the drill sergeants will just eat whatever you sent and keep the rest until she graduates. wait until she gets to her first duty station to send her stuff.

let me know if you need anything else!
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#3 of 5 Old 08-28-2002, 03:35 AM
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My baby brother (18) just off and joined the Marines this summer. My family has always been anti-military. They were shocked when he announced his decision, but they came around to supporting him. I think my mother is going through some of the same things you are now.

If you're interested in talking with my mother, PM me and I'll put you in touch.

I can imagine it's hard.

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#4 of 5 Old 09-02-2002, 11:10 PM
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One good thing about all your children having asthma is that they can't be in the military. I don't have to worry about my three asthmatic sons.

Life is dangerous no matter where you are. I have read that life in the military may actually be less dangerous then in the 'real' world. College is a very dangerous place. We live in famiy housing while I was a graduate school at two major universities. Kids die drinking, using drugs, and doing stupid stuff. I was worried when my oldest went off to live in a dorm and am glad my current college age son decided to live at home while going to college. The campus he goes to is crime-free (the last crime was over 10 years ago - no car breakins or even bookbags being taken) but there is still the worry of car accidents.

My oldest son was in a very bad car accident during Christmas break in Florida with his college friends. They were waiting in a stopped car line for a concert in Florida. He got tired and decided to take a nap in the trunk on top of their camping gear (he is an Eagle Scout). A drunk, drugged driver in a big truck started running over cars and drove over my son (sleeping in the trunk). He was airlifted to Ft. Lauderdale with brain trauma. Somehow his head sunk into the sleeping bags and stuff and he has had a full recovery (scars from a lot of stitches are pretty scarry looking).

The point is that we can't be sure our kids are safe anywhere and we have to hope for the best. It has been a couple years since my son's head was run over by a truck and I still get worried when the two oldest travel far by car. One of my worries is that I can't get to them if they are far away. But I've learned not to make it get me having anxiety attacks. I use deep breathing and daily meditation to break the stress/anxiety cycle. There is a lot of good info on stress reduction on the web.
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#5 of 5 Old 09-02-2002, 11:27 PM
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Originally posted by gabner
One good thing about all your children having asthma is that they can't be in the military. I don't have to worry about my three asthmatic sons.
You'd think, but it's been known to happen. My father was in the army, a war even, and he had asthma. He was also underweight, and used to tell a story about how someone stepped on the scale to make it look like he wasn't. lol
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