Let your daughter wear this? - Page 4 - Mothering Forums
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Preteens and Teens > Let your daughter wear this?
orangefoot's Avatar orangefoot 06:29 PM 01-29-2005
Being British I don't really know what prom etiquette is, but when my daughter is 18 I would be surprised if she had the front to wear such a dress.

She would have to be supremely confident in her body and her ability to carry it off. I hope that she will have those qualities but that she will use them to be fearlessly different from other people rather than to wear the most popluar dress at one particular time in history.

What will happen if 2 girls turn up at the prom wearing this dress? That would be so not cool.

If on the other hand she did want to wear it (and could afford it) who am I to say no? When can you test the boundaries of your powers if not as a teenager? Would she really be presumed to be of loose morals, easy, brainless........ and by whom? the mothers of other prom goers? From what I read here it would seem so.

In my experience it is not what you wear that says the most about you.

mommyofshmoo's Avatar mommyofshmoo 07:14 PM 01-29-2005
Hmm, my first thought was she could wear it to the beach- in Europe.

But I dunno. Mainly I think it's tacky. And if my dd inherets even half my bosom there's not way it would fit her- or at least no way it would be flattering. Plus at prom you want to be able to jump around and dance and move freely. I've never been small chested, but I simply can't imagine moving freely in anything resembling that dress.

I think it's wrong that people judge girls on what they wear (IE- assuming girls who dress in tight or reveiling clothes are slutty) but it's also important to teach our kids that what we choose to wear expressed various things to the world around us.

I dunno, I s'pose I wouldn't have to make a choice because ther's no way in 1000 years dh would let her leave the house like that.

Gee- I thought kids today were becomming more conservative? Maybe the democrats do have a chance at winning an election someday.
amydidit's Avatar amydidit 07:35 PM 01-30-2005
There is NO WAY at all I would EVER let me daughter wear something like that! I don't care if she IS old enough to go to the prom or not. That dress (asied from being ugly like so many have said) is NOT appropriate for a teenager to wear... anywhere!

My daughter also will not be allowed to wear skimpy bikinis either, so it doesn't matter if the dress offerd more coverage. Once she's old enough to move out and support herself then it's her choice. But until that day her body belongs to me and I don't want to show it off!
amydidit's Avatar amydidit 07:42 PM 01-30-2005
Oh, and I haven't read every single post on here, so I don't know if this was mentioned. That dress is NOT on backwards. I just saw pictures of the entire line of dresses. There is one that is very similar that covers a TINY bit more, but that particular dress IS on correctly.

This article has a link to the entire line of dresses. You can see the difference
naturalmother's Avatar naturalmother 01:19 PM 02-01-2005
Hell No!

We had a girl wear a dress similar to that, at our prom (7 years ago) and the boys had a feast. Every male in that room was either or making faces. And every girl in that room was about her. Such a shame because it's not the way she should be remembered.

Looks like a great dress for breastfeeding in.
polka hop's Avatar polka hop 12:12 PM 02-02-2005
our veggie baby's Avatar our veggie baby 01:01 PM 02-02-2005
I would forbid it.

That probably makes me controlling, mean, prudish, old-fashioned, unreasonable, and whatever other adjective anyone, including my daughter would probably put on me...

I agree with another poster, it is my job to guide my daughter, even sometimes override her *wonderful*decisions for both my sake and hers.
The fact of the matter is, this is the world we live in. A world where the boys would think she was a sl*t, the girls would talk about her, the teachers would have a fit, etc and so on..it SHOULDN'T be that way, and NO, I am not one of those people AT ALL who thinks someone is "asking for it" if they wear a revealing dress....AT ALL...

However, though it shouldn't be that way, it is, and the truth is, people are going to percieve you in a certain way if you are wearing a dress such as that---ESPECIALLY if you are 16, or anywhere but starring in a Las Vegas show lol...and I don't want my daughter to have to go through that, even if it means she "hates" me and thinks I am the worst mother EVER....

Believe me, there were times my Mom stopped me from doing things I thought were SUCH great ideas at the time in my 16 year old wisdom, when looking back, even a few months later, I was like, WOAH, did she save me from a ton of embarrassment etc...

...now if she were of legal age, of course I couldn't legally stop her, I would let her know exactly what I thought, but I wouldn't kick her out of the house or anything!!

I wouldn't pay for it though, whether she was under age or not...and it isn't really a control issue it is more a moral issue, the same way that I understand my daughter might choose to eat meat someday (we are strict vegetarians) but I am not willing to buy her a cheeseburger because she "wants" it...
Like another poster said, I am not stuck in the stone age, I am all for strapless, or a slit up the leg, or form fitting, etc...but this is TOO much and in my humble opinion, VERY blatant and bordering on offensive---I mean, for a teenage girl!!

If that makes me a horible mom, well, I dunno what to say about that!
tangozulu's Avatar tangozulu 04:15 PM 02-02-2005
"I'd let my daughter wear it - as long as she had a turtle-neck on under it!"

Sounds perfectly reasonable to me! I don't think my dd would like it, I think she is a little more modest than this!
TiredX2's Avatar TiredX2 04:25 PM 02-02-2005
I guess I don't understand how you expect to stop your child from wearing (or dating a girl who wears) one of those dresses.

Are you going to prom with them?
Ellien C's Avatar Ellien C 05:39 PM 02-02-2005
Originally Posted by rockinmama
...the arguement that a girl who decides to expose her body (less so than some swim suits i might add) is asking to be "tugged on" or assaulted or looked down upon as someone who is sexually promiscuous is insulting to the neo-feminist movement....
Anyone get my meaning?

ME! me .. me!
our veggie baby's Avatar our veggie baby 05:58 PM 02-02-2005
I don't believe anyone is "asking" for anything, but it would be the same thing as me going outside today in a clownsuit complete with red wig and nose and acting bewildered, confused and upset when I get looks from people....

There is a differnce between how it should be and how it is. That is how it is, unfortunate, yes, but nevertheless true.

It can be argued too, that wearing that dress sets the women's movement back a few decades, in promoting the idea that a very young woman, has to be revealing, shocking, and show off 90% of her breasts just to be "in style" or "sexy" or "in"...

Now, of course, a woman should be able to wear whatever she likes, but as I said, the fact is, you cannot have a society that embraces the blatant sexualization of women and young girls to an almost disgusting degree sometimes.... and expect NO reaction when someone wears something like that....
Foobar's Avatar Foobar 06:22 PM 02-02-2005
At 17 (the age either of my children will be when they have a senior prom) I should have little say of their clothing. I would tell them that I find it disgusting. I would stress what it makes ME think about, but when they are only a few months from being adults legally in our society, who am I to forbid them to wear it? I'm their MOTHER, not their DICTATOR.

Of course, they would have to pay for it themselves....
Epicurus's Avatar Epicurus 11:12 PM 02-02-2005
The way I see it we don't stop being their parents just because they are 18. If my kid(s) and I are having a lot of conflict around that time they may want to move out and exercise their legal right to do so.
OR perhaps we might have some kind of a relationship where they might respect my opinion and authority in my home and choose not to parade around with a girl friend who chooses to dress like that.
I have two friends specifically that have "adult" children living in their homes who still respect and listen to their parents. This is what I am hoping for. I have raised them this far by treating them with respect and expecting and receiving respect in return. There is no reason for me to believe this is going to change just because they have a birthday. The governments age specifications have little to do with how I view our relationships.

With all of this in mind, there is no way my kid, living in my home is going to wear that or go out with a girl wearing that. I expect them to have more self respect.

Itlbokay's Avatar Itlbokay 04:18 AM 02-04-2005
Ummmm...I fervently hope that if I had a daughter this dress would not be something she would want to wear. Even if I didn't have a problem with it, which I do, I know my DH would never let her walk out of the house with it on if he could help it.
cdnmom5's Avatar cdnmom5 07:29 PM 02-14-2005
There doesn't seem to be any picture of the dress in question, unless that is the point - is it invisible? Even the link listed doesn't have a picture. So I don't know if I would let my daughter wear it.
amydidit's Avatar amydidit 07:33 PM 02-14-2005
Originally Posted by cdnmom5
There doesn't seem to be any picture of the dress in question, unless that is the point - is it invisible? Even the link listed doesn't have a picture. So I don't know if I would let my daughter wear it.

At this link http://www.turnto10.com/news/4128870/detail.html there is another link next to a tiny picture of a mannequin marked Images: Revealing Prom Gowns... click that and it'll take you to a series of pictures... I believe it's #2 of the 12 listed.
Curious Me's Avatar Curious Me 11:11 PM 02-14-2005
No I would not and I am appalled that such a dress exists for our teens. Holy smokes!
vespersongs's Avatar vespersongs 11:49 AM 02-15-2005
OK, first of all I would hope that my daughter'd have better fashion sense than that. (barf)

SECOND of all: I'm putting myself in the mind of a teenage boy or a really vindictive mean girl...

One flick of the wrist and it's not only a night of embarrassment but the rest of her high school career facing jokes, etc.

I'ts just beggin for a grope.

CryPixie83's Avatar CryPixie83 04:52 PM 02-15-2005

And I thought my prom dress was revealing!!! (holographic silvery material, slit up t my hip, diamond cutouts below the bust)

Apparently (judging by the designer's website) the dress is reversable... I dunno, maybe with a mesh shirt underneath it would look a little better, but I sincerely hope my dd has better taste when she's old enough to go to prom (should she decide to attend a traditional school that is).

Would I *let* her? Yes. Would her father let her out of the house wearing it? Doubtful. Would I strongly discourage her wearing it? You betcha.

It is ugly too, most dresses from that line are.
Marlet's Avatar Marlet 04:59 PM 02-15-2005
Not only no but hell no! Not only that but what school would let that in the front door!!?? I graduated a year ago and I remember that when dances came around they purposfully let everyone know that the dress code was still intact as it was on school grounds. granted I went to a smaller school but even the bigger ones I have gone to (think 400 per grade) had the same mentality. I would die of a heart attack if a school let that get by them!
Ifluffedthree's Avatar Ifluffedthree 06:05 PM 02-15-2005
No I would not let my dd @ 15 wear that dress. However, after 13 children really take on a mind of their own and it becomes more difficult to make our points valid to them. Clothing choices are always a battle and even though the buck stops here they still will try.

Toddlers easy to say no. Teenagers whole new ballgame. Momma's of little ones get out your mitts and gear up! Let the clothing games begin.
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