oldest is 10, am I craZy to want another baby? - Page 2 - Mothering Forums

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#31 of 46 Old 03-09-2005, 03:05 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by cresorchid
If it's truly what you want, great! I am pregnant with my 2nd now and my 1st will be turning 17 next week (the largest age dif on this list so far). I'm not at all sorry. I wanted another for a long time, but as I'm single, everybody kept trying to talk me out of it, and being a single parent already I knew how important support it.

I finally approached my 40th birthday and realized, it's now or never. It took me a year to get pregnant, but I have never been happier.

My only concern in your situation is that your husband obviously doesn't share this desire. At least not yet. Unless he comes around wholeheartedly, you will probably either not have that child or have a good likelihood of becoming a single parent down the road some.
Wow! I just had to comment and tell you congratulations! That's truly wonderful!!! :
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#32 of 46 Old 03-09-2005, 07:17 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Originally Posted by cresorchid
I am pregnant with my 2nd now and my 1st will be turning 17 next week
That's great! Congratulations.
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#33 of 46 Old 03-17-2005, 03:08 AM
 
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My dd is 13.5 & my ds is almost 7 & I'm just barely pregnant. I've LOVED the spacing between my kids, and it's been amazing parenting them during such different stages of my life. I'm so excited to be having another one. My dd may even be at the birth. What's weird is that I'm only 16 years younger than my mom, & my dd will be only 14 years younger than her own sibling, and there's a chance we may have one more! It'll be interesting when I have one child potty training while another is learning to drive & dating. But I love a busy life full of childrearing.

Your family sounds wonderful just the way it is, good luck with whatever decision you guys come to!!

North Idaho rural living  mama to: 23 yo DD, 16 yo DS, 8 yo DS, 6 yo DS, 4 yr old DS, 2 yo DD, and 1 yo DS. And someone new coming this Christmas!
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#34 of 46 Old 03-17-2005, 12:06 PM
 
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My dd1 was ten when her brother was born! It was wonderful! They love each other so much and now she has two little brothers and a little sister, and she had been an only child for 10 years!
It is a challenge for instance to be dealing with 2 year old tantrums at the same time as the 12 year old tantrums that seem pretty much the same. But there are benefits too.
When my ds was born I thought all babies should come with 10 year olds! She could help put him in his carseat. She could watch him while I used the bathroom or took a shower. She could keep him happy while I made dinner.
She never really got into the whole diaper thing. But my dd has become more sensitive to other's needs as a result of having babies in the house.
Sure, dealing with an adolescent might be easier without the distractions of three babies, however at a time when kids start leaning away from the family, the littlest members really act like a little magnet keeping the older ones involved.
Joline
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#35 of 46 Old 03-17-2005, 12:36 PM
 
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johub, I so agree with how you described having the two kids further apart... ds1 is proud of his abilities with ds2 and really is helpful. He'd be a great daddy someday. He even voluntarily changes a wet diaper now and then, lol. It has been very positive for both of them.
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#36 of 46 Old 03-17-2005, 01:46 PM
 
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my husband is 23, his sister is 20, then there is an 11 year difference between her and the next oldest daughter. There are four girls in the second "set" of children, the youngest being 2. The 20 year old lives with the other four daughters sometimes and helps with taking care of them. My mil told me she doesn't really like having an 11 year difference between them (she was trying to help me plan her grandchildrens' spacing LOL so I think she just wants me to keep the grandkids coming without a big wait!) but I don't think she would have done it any other way. The last four are with a different husband.
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#37 of 46 Old 06-05-2005, 10:54 PM
 
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My boys are 11 and 2. My little one was a big surprise at 42!. Im really tired this time and realize how different it is to be a mom to more than an ONLY!! It is all together different and takes some juggling to make sure the older one receives the time and attention he needs. He has been a tremendous help to me since the baby has been born - I was sick for well over a year after his birth. To see them together and witness the joy my 11 year old has knowing he finally has a brother is the most precious gift.
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#38 of 46 Old 06-06-2005, 09:54 AM - Thread Starter
 
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Originally Posted by Indea88
To see them together and witness the joy my 11 year old has knowing he finally has a brother is the most precious gift.
That's sweet
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#39 of 46 Old 06-06-2005, 01:27 PM
 
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When I had my third babe, my dd was 14 and my ds 10. Now dd2 is 20 months and I have so much more help than I ever did when they were babies! I knew I wasnt done at 2 kids...it just took me awhile to have the third!
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#40 of 46 Old 06-07-2005, 10:07 AM
 
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I am the mother of two boys, age 22 and 20 and a little girl, age 18 months. I also have two stepsons, ages 17 and 13. So we have a 12-year gap in the line-up and I have a 19 -year gap between babies.

It has been a great joy to see how one so little can do her work in the world. She has brought great joy to many - to our sometimes surly teenagers, to our friends whose children are grown, to older kids who need to see how much they were loved and cuddled when they were little. She has been a unifying force in our blended family and brought about several epiphanies to its members.

It will be different this time around - you're older and a little more used to your routine, etc. But you also are wiser and know what's important and how fleeting the time is when they are little.

My baby called to me for 19 years. Maybe a little one is calling to you!


P.S. Now we are expecting again and our little ones will be 22 months apart.
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#41 of 46 Old 06-07-2005, 11:23 PM
 
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I just had to jump in here too and agree that having a baby later in life with older kids at home is truly great.

I thought I was a pretty relaxed first-time mom 11 years ago but this time it is even easier. My dd was 10.5 and ds 8 when baby was born this past November. Big bro and sis just love the little baby and I am so relaxed this time. I am really cherishing every minute of this baby (as I did the pregnancy too). I'm enjoying the nursing like before but have added babywearing.

I say go for it!
BTW - I was 40 and dh was 44 when #3 arrived.

Kim , mom to Amanda (16):, William (13), and Annie (5)
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#42 of 46 Old 06-08-2005, 10:24 AM - Thread Starter
 
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Too late for me at this point, DH had a vasectomy.

I am comforted by the fact that I enjoyed every minute of my boys babyhood.

Now I get to enjoy their wonderful childhood
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#43 of 46 Old 06-08-2005, 10:58 AM
 
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Add me to the list of those lovin' life as an older/ experienced mom with a grown child at home. I enjoy my babies so much more now than I did as a first-time mom at 23.
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#44 of 46 Old 06-08-2005, 12:07 PM
 
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My eldest will be 12 at the end of this month ds2 is 8 and dd is 2. Dd loves her brothers desperately.

They are very patient with her which I appreciate because she has is doing a lot of unreasonable shouty stuff right now and if they were younger I don't think they would be so understanding.

They are more independent themselves so are less physically needy, which has been a real bonus this time round. All in all it has been a great experience for our family and we seem to have tempted at least three other mums at school to take the plunge for a third time as they think it looks easy this way!

We are planning another next year though because as well as feeliong that we are not done yet with babies; I know that my boys really enjoy each other and I would like her to have a similar opportunity with a buddy.

On the Dh front, I know that the partners of friends who have older children are reluctant 'to go back in time' by having another baby. They don't want to lose the freedom that they have earned from all that hassle. We don't see it that way; in a sense there are more of us to parent our youngest child and she just gets swept along with what everyone else is doing, she hasn't taken us on a retrograde journey. My decision to not work has hit our finances quite badly though as I had been earning well since ds2 started school. But they are only lttle for such a short time and with older children already you really appreciate that.
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#45 of 46 Old 06-11-2005, 12:41 PM
 
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dh and i have a 14 mo dd. I am 29, he will be 32 in the fall. we are both pretty sure that we don't want another child for at least two years. we are both sure that we don't want more than two children period. the uncertain part is do we have a second child and if so, when. we've promised each other to wait until dd is at least 2 before we make any final decisions (ie, vasectomy)

in a way, it's good to hear that we could wait for a long time before having our second. (obviously, we knew that, but just to hear others' positive experiences is nice).

i'm also somewhat tired of worrying about birth control and in that way the vasectomy appeals to me in a way that condoms or pills for the next 7-10 years don't. (i don't want to go back on the pill. i was on it for about 2 years and have been off since feb 2003.)

those of you with big age gaps between your children, what did you do about birth control in the intervening years?
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#46 of 46 Old 06-11-2005, 07:03 PM
 
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Birth Control? Condoms then divorcing my first husband!

No seriously, I have had 2 IUDs, one after ds2 and one now after, dd. Not a popular choice around here maybe, but I have blood clotting issues and cannot be pregnant unexpectedly nor use hormonal contraceptives. It has suited us just fine so far and means that we can't make a spur of the moment decision; we have to make a conscious decision and have it removed. I was pregnant within days of having the first one removed and dd was very welcome!
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