pink hair and piercings? - Page 2 - Mothering Forums

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#31 of 50 Old 12-07-2002, 02:40 AM
 
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hmmmm, law abiding citizen...
well I guess I TRY to teach my kids to raise their hand before they question authority...
all that questioning has often provoked me to reconsider but...I have to be true to my conscience.

if the piercing closes there will be scar tissue to close it- the scar tissue may be a different color, on the toungue and ear I dont think its very noticeable- but bellybuttons can be pretty permanent even when "healed" in my opinion,

Daryll, the piercing sounds awesome, painful tho that makes the experience ever so much deeper... there is, in my opinion, a big difference in the experience when there is alot of pain involved, there is a warrior mentality or something...an empowering thing...its different then say the aesthetic piercing of ones belly button or ears.
just my opinion...
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#32 of 50 Old 12-20-2002, 02:16 PM
 
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I have never dyed my hair, had ANYTHING pierced (not even ears) or gotten a tattoo, nor have I ever had any desire to do any of these things, nor do I expect that I ever will have the desire to do any of these things.

That said, if my kids wanted to, I would say, "It's your body, so it's your decision." I think that goes in hand with teaching them to respect and care for themselves. (Although I do think the idea of waiting until age 18 to get a tattoo is a good one, but I would make it a "suggestion" rather than a "requirement")

There are so many other things to fight about, this shouldn't be one of them.

Mommy to eyesroll.gif (age 7) and mischievous.gif (age 3)

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#33 of 50 Old 02-18-2003, 04:43 AM
 
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Well, I have been gaining a lot of perspective on this issue in the last month or so. We now have a 15 year old foster son who is quite the dresser...and I mean nothing nearly as tame as pink hair and piercings (both of which my wife and I, between ourselves, have had plenty of on our own).

Anyway, at first I found my biggest issue was overcoming my inner feelings in relation to how other people react. I think there is a certain part of us, whether we like to admit it or not, that feel our children are like extensions of ourselves, so it can be both painful and embarrassing when our kids have a fashion sense that illicits certain reactions from the rest of the world. If it was just us looking at our kids all day, we probably wouldn't be so disturbed by this issue. I know, for the most part, I couldn't care less what my kids wear at home.

Because I am an incredibly shy person, one of my problems was that my son was drawing tons of attention everywhere we went. I went through a brief period thinking I could never again have this kid come grocery shopping with me. The rude people who stare and the way this kid just changed every room he walked into was more than a little hard for me. I want him to be at least somewhat accepted by at least some people and treated well by the rest of the world, and at the same time I want him to be an individual...and I really think he is the most amazing person as an individual! I have never seen him look more beautiful, have more of a glow, than the times when he's been able to just be himself and dress/present himself the way he is comfortable. The most painful day for me was when a young **adult** male was verbally aggressive toward my son because of the clothing he was wearing/the way he presented himself when we were going into a drugstore.

And then at the same time, I am no longer a pink haired or bald headed (yes, even as recently as two years ago I maintained a shaved head) girl, and frankly, I don't want everyone in the grocery store standing around judging me, my son, and our family. But you know, this is who this kid is in the world. This is my son's expression of himself and the way he wants to be. So rather than negotiating what he wears, I've put my energy into becoming more comfortable and accepting myself with his choices and with the reactions they illicit.

I have, however, drawn a line at safety. Luckily, my son is easily redirected and has been pretty responsive when I am just honest about my safety concerns. Of course, he wants to be able to help evaluate what risks he can take and when safety is and is not important to him, but because he is developmentally not ready for that (he is much younger developmentally than he is biologically), we do that evaluation together. I also have found him more responsive when I can enjoy certain things about how he dresses and presents himself. When we admire his shoes together, he feels a lot more open to my commenting on the way he has applied certain makeup on his face, even if I am only giving a simple suggestion about how to make it look more attractive.

I'm pro-adoption reform, but not anti-adoption.
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#34 of 50 Old 02-18-2003, 01:23 PM
 
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Sierra,

You foster Son in very blessed to ahev you.


Granolamom
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#35 of 50 Old 02-19-2003, 12:33 AM
 
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My dd had dyed her hair pink and blue by the time she was 4 1/2. O guess I won't have a problem with it when she is older either. peircings are a different story though. I means he can have her ears peirced and other I am not sure about thier permanace. Anything that she canget rid of she can have but anything permanant she wioll have to wait until she is an adult. If I had gotton my tatoo when I was in high school I would have gotton something really stupid.

The truest answer to violence is love. The truest answer to death is life. The only prevention for violence is for the heart to have no violence within it.  We cannot prevent evil through any system devised by mankind. But we can grapple with evil and defeat it, but only with love—real love.

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#36 of 50 Old 02-24-2003, 12:50 AM
 
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Quote:
Originally posted by Arduinna
I don't have this problem. DD has no piercings (not even her ears) and doesn't ask to dye her hair or anything. She likes temporary tattoos though and bindis.

Maybe it's because she has parents that are inked up and pierced?? Nothing to rebel against.

Just a though. Maybe if the parents run out and get pierced the kids will not want it??
:LOL

I hope this works in our family!! (I'm the one with piercings and a tattoo!

DS is only 3 1/2 - he draws on himself if that counts!

Chelly
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#37 of 50 Old 02-24-2003, 12:08 PM
 
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RM wrote:
"Anyone with teens struggling with this? I guess it's my karma, I raised them on rock and roll. "

Funny?? Our kids are more conservative. We thought our teen would be more like yours. Instead she is ultraconservative. Her father and I were hardcore punks. We did everything. I had die blue/black hair that looked exactly like shag carpeting and my dh was a local celebrity because of his very tall and erect mohawk!! We both wore shocking clothes with anti-religious and political slogans written all over them. So, now we end up with a very acedemically driven, conservative, no real social life, teen!!!!

Of course people tell me it could all change. She is only 14 and a half..........
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#38 of 50 Old 02-24-2003, 12:50 PM
 
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LOL Marg, isn't that always the way it goes!

-b
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#39 of 50 Old 03-13-2003, 02:40 PM
 
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OMG-this is SO me when I was growing up! My folks were ultra-kewl about it too-I think they handled it very well! I was pretty bad, coming home with holes here and there, shaved/dyed hair, etc. They tried their best not to say anything negative about it, and the shock value kinda wore off for me, LOL

This is how I plan on dealing w/my teens as well. (Imagine that, my folks DID do something right!! LOL)
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#40 of 50 Old 03-13-2003, 03:44 PM
 
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I let my 4 y.o. daughter colour her hair with those colour wands when she wants. My only concern is about health issues. My sister had to have some expensive dental work done because of mouth piercings. I think that if teens want piercings they should research the risks. Also, I think that tattoos should be off-limits until 18 with the understanding that they are still growing and the tattoo could shift/distort if they have a growth spurt.

Pierce.

Ooops, peace
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#41 of 50 Old 03-13-2003, 05:06 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally posted by oncewerewise
I let my 4 y.o. daughter colour her hair with those colour wands when she wants. My only concern is about health issues. My sister had to have some expensive dental work done because of mouth piercings. I think that if teens want piercings they should research the risks. Also, I think that tattoos should be off-limits until 18 with the understanding that they are still growing and the tattoo could shift/distort if they have a growth spurt.

Pierce.

Ooops, peace
I had a friend who got a tatoo around her belly button right as she was trying to get pregnant. I couldn't hep but wonder how that was going to look during/after the preg. As a general rule best not to spend $150 on a tatoo that is about to get stretched out on a part of your body that may never go back where it belongs. I had never thought about growth spurts but I suppose it would be the same.

The truest answer to violence is love. The truest answer to death is life. The only prevention for violence is for the heart to have no violence within it.  We cannot prevent evil through any system devised by mankind. But we can grapple with evil and defeat it, but only with love—real love.

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#42 of 50 Old 03-13-2003, 07:09 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally posted by lilyka
I had a friend who got a tatoo around her belly button right as she was trying to get pregnant. I couldn't hep but wonder how that was going to look during/after the preg. As a general rule best not to spend $150 on a tatoo that is about to get stretched out on a part of your body that may never go back where it belongs. I had never thought about growth spurts but I suppose it would be the same.
This is the biggest reason I will never get a tat!! For some reason I've always just had this vision of growing old (or getting fatter) and having this stretched out tat with no definition on wrinkly skin hee hee hee. I know there are some body parts that don't stretch as much as others, but it is just one of those weird crazy fears I have.

I'm pro-adoption reform, but not anti-adoption.
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#43 of 50 Old 05-29-2003, 10:34 PM
 
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I got my tattoo when i was 25, I think it's good to wait till you really know. I know two guys who got tennis shoe company logos tattooed on their backs when they were playing highschool sports!!

Most of our friends have tattoos and piercings ( I have my nose pierced) My ds is six and is always telling me how he's going to get about 10 piercings.

He used to say that about tattoos, till he saw me suffer after I got mine. He doesn't really want one anymore.

Jessica
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#44 of 50 Old 05-29-2003, 10:47 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally posted by Circledancer

Example: One of her friends, raised VERY religiously and strict, is now pregnant....she has possibily closed an option in her life by having a baby so very young. So, me and my sweetie just express that what ever she chooses, whatever she wears or doesn't wear, if she shaves or wears too much makeup reflects who she is......her ethics and morals and values. It's "outward apprearance" I know, but it's truth.

Just a note, since no one commented on this. Circledancer, I'm not really sure what the connection to this thread is for the young girl's pregnancy. I would imagine if she was in a very religious household that she dressed conservatively. The way a woman (or girl) dresses does not necessarily reflect behavior. :

I go to an evangelical church that may be conservative theologically, but is filled with artists who have multiple piercings and rainbow hair!!

Another note: You should point that girl in the direction of www.girlmom.com . It is a great site for teen moms that promotes AP parenting.

Peace to you,

Jessica
A 26 year old momma to Jahleel 5/12/97 and Raquel 1/8/03
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#45 of 50 Old 06-07-2003, 09:54 PM - Thread Starter
 
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I see I had never posted here that we let dd#1 get her tongue pierced. it went so great.

Not very traumatic to get it done, and it healed up so fast. 2 days of swelling and soft foods, then she was pretty much back to normal.

We were glad it healed quickly so she could get the all metal barbell out of her mouth, and put a plastic one in, to reduce risk of tooth damage.
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#46 of 50 Old 07-07-2003, 02:47 PM
 
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I've read this tread some time ago but wasn't concern about the subject then... now I am I bleached and colored my DD's hair yesterday (she paid for the products) a bright Wild Fire Red ! (she's 12)

DH isn't trill about it but didn't express his concern before the fact (even if we've talk about it).

Now, DS (5, almost 6) want to color his hair too! Hum... I'll have to get some of this colored gel I 've seen at the store!


Valérie   
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#47 of 50 Old 07-08-2003, 02:40 AM
 
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My 12 year old dd wanted to dye her hair red so we used the dye that washes out. It did wash out after a couple washes and was fun.

Now she wants her belly button pierced! She has had so much trouble with her pierced ears getting infected that I am concerned about the belly button. Anyone have experience with this?
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#48 of 50 Old 07-12-2003, 10:29 AM
 
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yes
my daughter who turned 15 yesterday, wahoooooooo, go Hailey
had trouble with her ears, and at 13 had trouble with her belly button, she had it pierced twice and both times it grew out, her body will not hold a piercing at the naval, well accurately said, it didnt, 2x,I wont let her do it again, it scars,
her toungue piercing healed better than mine did tho, she has a great toungue piercing, Im trying to hold her back on any more at this time, and no tatoos, Im not going on any particular plan or dogma,(today anyways) just following my gut...
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#49 of 50 Old 07-12-2003, 01:58 PM
 
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I pierced my DD's ears when she was 3 months, again at 13 years and again at 18 years. She has since done it herself one more time. That is enough I feel. She also dyes her hair blonde.
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#50 of 50 Old 07-18-2003, 04:45 PM
 
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