"The Talk" - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 10 Old 05-18-2005, 05:49 PM - Thread Starter
 
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I started having "The Talk" with Leah today. Ok, I guess we continued it.

We were at the chiropractor's office and the cover of one of those mainstream baby magazines caught her eye- an article about gender selection. Her first reaction was "That's not natural!! Why would anybody do that??" We borrowed the magazine and she read the article when we got home.

Obviously, the article had lots of information on human reproduction, but was written for people who already know the basics. After reading the article, she asked me "You mentioned that thing that people do that makes babies is important in grownup relationships. How do couples do that and not get pg?" I briefly explained that there are various methods of BC and then she shushed me so she could finish the article. I figure I'll talk to her about some more of the specifics sometime soon!!

I'm not sure I'm ready for this!! My baby learning about sex?

Ruth, single mommy to Leah, 19, Hannah, 18, and Jack, 12
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#2 of 10 Old 05-18-2005, 09:05 PM
 
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Not to be rude or anything, but my parents taught me about sex WAY before I turned 10.

photosmile2.gif mom to 5 year old haye REPlaySkateboard04HL.gif(9.27.2005) and brand new baby zaobabyf.gif(5.23.2011)
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#3 of 10 Old 05-18-2005, 09:32 PM
 
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I remember a babysitter told my sister and I about sex and I was older then 10. My daughter is very private and does not like to talk or open up. I think I tried to talk to her about the facts of life at 9 and she totally rejected any talk about it, every time I would bring it up she would cover her ears and refuse to have the discussion. Last year, she was 10, I bought her two great books on the subject. They also had information about all the changes she would be going through, a section about changes boys go through, etc. She read them cover to cover within a day and a half. It worked great. She will talk a little more about personal things but she is very private and I try to respect that but at the same time I let her know she can talk to be about anything.
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#4 of 10 Old 05-18-2005, 09:43 PM
 
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It can seem overwhelming, but it's honestly not too bad once you get into it. From your post it sounds like you and Dd already have a pretty good handle on communication and that is a great start. I think your Dd (she's 10 right?) is at a great age to get more info about sex, and reproduction. The article will be a neat thing for you and her to discuss if she wants Here are some books that my Dd likes:
It's So Amazing! A Book About Eggs, Sperm, Birth, Babies, and Families by ROBIE H. HARRIS

It's Perfectly Normal : Changing Bodies, Growing Up, Sex, and Sexual Health by ROBIE H. HARRIS

"The true measure of a man is how he treats a man who can do him absolutely no good."
peace.gif  Embrace the learning that is happening within the things that are actually happening!    
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#5 of 10 Old 05-18-2005, 10:22 PM
 
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We just had a talk w/ my 9 yr old. I like Where did I come from? by Peter Mayle.
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#6 of 10 Old 05-18-2005, 11:49 PM
 
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I can remember very clearly having "The Talk" with my parents- when I was seven. I thought all kids knew about sex by the time they were nine and ten? No offense mommies, I am just surprised is all. Maybe it's cause I am still young, I am 23, and I know kids who are having sex by 12. Not a good choice at all for them, but it's just that I didn't know that we still had kids who were ten that didn't know about sex. That's good though, I guess it is best to keep them innocent as long as possible.
I am personally not dreading the talk with my own children, ages two and four now. My mom was very blunt, open, and honest with me. She simply told me that a man's xxxx goes in a woman's xxxxx and that's how a baby is made. She didn't tell me about the love and marriage part; I sort of learned that by example and by what she would tell me as I was older and could understand how much there was behind sex. She was always very open with me and I always knew I could ask her things. I plan to be that way with my daughters as well. I will answer all their questions as age-appropiately as possible, and if they haven't asked any by at least age 9, I will have a gentle talk with about where babies come from.

Bethany, crunchy Christian mom to Destiny (11) Deanna (9), and Ethan (2)

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#7 of 10 Old 05-19-2005, 12:16 AM
 
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My two children never really had the "talk", but rather have grown up in an environment where sexuality is normal and can be discussed freely. They new pretty early on what sex was, and we've always just answered any questions they have. We've encouraged them to ask anything at all... no topic is off limits here. At the ages of 11.5 and almost 14 they still come to us to ask things, or just discuss things theyve heard or seen on TV or from friends.

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#8 of 10 Old 05-19-2005, 12:45 AM
 
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I think, children all being unique, come to question sexuality at different times. I'm all for, "Why sexualized them early if they aren't interested?" That being said, my 3 year old watched a PBS show about salmon spawning and he asked me, "Mama, who spawned me?" OH MY. So he knew about sperm and eggs very early. We had long drawn out conversations about bodily functions (circulatory system, nervous system) a lot during his fourth year of life. My daughter, who is now 3.5 has NO interest in knowing how babies get in a mamas tummy. I'm always open and answer their questions...but it hasn't come up yet. It sounds like you were really able to follow her lead and she does sound like she's mature enough to discuss it on a level far different than just the basics, yk?

Abby
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#9 of 10 Old 05-20-2005, 12:07 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by ryleeee
Not to be rude or anything, but my parents taught me about sex WAY before I turned 10.
Oh, we've talked about sex before this- she first learned about menstruation when she was about 2 and I got AF back after Hannah's birth, we talked about pregnancy and the basics of human reproduction when she was about 5, she watched me give birth (ok listened from the other room) when she was almost 7. She even had an ex-spepdad show her graphic pornographic images and videos :

This is just the first time the subject has come up in a formal-ish way since she's started puberty.

Ruth, single mommy to Leah, 19, Hannah, 18, and Jack, 12
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#10 of 10 Old 06-22-2005, 11:14 PM
 
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Her interest is likely much greater now that she herself has begun puberty. Begin conversations in ways that are factual rather than personal and let her interject her questions or experiences or those of her friends. Ask leading questions if need be to help her get started.
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