At the end of my rope and scared to death - Mothering Forums

Forum Jump: 
 
Thread Tools
#1 of 8 Old 05-22-2005, 02:09 AM - Thread Starter
 
motheroftheday's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2005
Posts: 2
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Hello everybody, I am new here and am glad to be so warmly welcomed but I have a problem with my teenager I am absolutely scared to death about. I dont know how to confront him or what this could possibly mean but last week I was hanging up his shirts when I found a rolled up blanket on the floor with one side totally covered with blood.
Let me give you some background on my son: he is 12 years old, average grades. He is very bright and kind and I love with all my heart but recently he's been very secretive and moody lately and abusive to the family dog. My husband died when 8 years ago when my son was 3. As a single mother, I am unprepared for the unpredictable monster he has become; and the discovery of the bloody towel in his closet has forced me to seek annonymous help online.
If anyone is reading this, please help me, with what I should do, as I am confused and just want my beloved boy to be okay.
motheroftheday is offline  
#2 of 8 Old 05-22-2005, 02:11 AM
 
AngelBee's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2004
Location: New Brighton, MN
Posts: 20,387
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
I do not know. Maybe he needs to talk to someone professionally. I am sorry. You will both be in my thoughts and prayers.

Mama to 9 so far:Mother of Joey (20), Dominick (13), Abigail (11), Angelo (8), Mylee (6), Delainey (3), Colton (2) and Baby 8 and Baby 9 coming sometime in July 2013.   If evolution were true, mothers would have three arms!

AngelBee is offline  
#3 of 8 Old 05-22-2005, 02:19 AM
 
PoppyMama's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2004
Location: In my own delusions.
Posts: 3,305
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 1 Post(s)
s Have the teachers noticed any changes in who he hangs out with or any other new behaviors at school?

No BTDT but I wanted to let you know you were heard.
PoppyMama is offline  
#4 of 8 Old 05-22-2005, 02:34 AM - Thread Starter
 
motheroftheday's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2005
Posts: 2
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
I was thinking about contacting his school; this has only been going on for a short while. He doesn't have a lot of friends, just the average glue-sniffing, tshirt wearing teenagers every boy's friends with, nobody new; im very good friends with all of his friends' parents. I'm torn, a best friend of mine just died and I just get the feeling, I'd give ABSOLUTELY anything to get the weight off my shoulders; and my son's anger further complicates matters.
motheroftheday is offline  
#5 of 8 Old 05-22-2005, 02:58 AM
 
PoppyMama's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2004
Location: In my own delusions.
Posts: 3,305
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 1 Post(s)
I don't understand quite what you mean in your 2nd post...

I always worry about animal abuse, teenagers do strange things that turn out fine but animal abuse is when it gets disturbing to me.
PoppyMama is offline  
#6 of 8 Old 05-22-2005, 10:15 AM
 
Bestbirths's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2003
Location: Lyme-Autism Connection Conference
Posts: 2,232
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
I would confront him with the bloody towel and ask him where the blood came from. I would ask for the truth and say no matter what the answer is, you love him and he will not be in trouble. Then, stand by your word and he will not get "punished". He could have had a bloody nose, it could be something totally explainable. Ask him directly if he hurt the dog. Ask him directly if he is cutting or self abusing himself, had a bloody nose, doing drugs, or what?

If you have seen him hurt the dog. I would do several things. I would put him on "zero tolerance" for hurting the dog immeadiately. Let him know that hurting the dog is not acceptable and will not be tolerated. He may need to be in some kind of anger management or counseling. If he is continuing after this at harming the family dog, and you witness it, consider finding a new home for the dog. I wouldn't make it like a punishment, just that you are obligated to keep the dog safe.

I would on a deeper level, find out what needs he has that aren't being met, find out what is bothering him and seek to meet his needs and find solutions. Listen to him, and act upon what he tells you. People hurt because they are hurting, so if you can soothe his hurt inside, or help him self soothe his own hurt, I think it will help take away his desire to hurt other things and people.
Bestbirths is offline  
#7 of 8 Old 05-22-2005, 10:28 AM
 
reeseccup's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2003
Location: U.S.A.
Posts: 3,361
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
personally i'd seek out a professional (child psycologist ) to ask these questions to. something doesn't ring right with me on this. best of health to your family.

Ahhh tea the essence of life.
reeseccup is offline  
#8 of 8 Old 05-22-2005, 10:33 AM
 
PancakeGoddess's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2004
Posts: 5,351
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
I've heard that preteens and teens are doing a lot of cutting themselves. Sometimes it's the compulsive type cutting and other times it's meant to create scars, as a form of body decoration. It sounds pretty unhealthy either way, but that was my first thought and I'd see if I could spot the kid's arms and legs. Of course, just asking honestly as bestbirths recommends sounds like an ideal start.
PancakeGoddess is offline  
Reply

Quick Reply
Message:
Drag and Drop File Upload
Drag files here to attach!
Upload Progress: 0
Options

Register Now

In order to be able to post messages on the Mothering Forums forums, you must first register.
Please enter your desired user name, your email address and other required details in the form below.
User Name:
If you do not want to register, fill this field only and the name will be used as user name for your post.
Password
Please enter a password for your user account. Note that passwords are case-sensitive.
Password:
Confirm Password:
Email Address
Please enter a valid email address for yourself.
Email Address:

Log-in

Human Verification

In order to verify that you are a human and not a spam bot, please enter the answer into the following box below based on the instructions contained in the graphic.



User Tag List

Thread Tools
Show Printable Version Show Printable Version
Email this Page Email this Page


Forum Jump: 

Posting Rules  
You may post new threads
You may post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are Off