Ack, oldest daughter had her first visit from AF - Mothering Forums

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Old 05-31-2005, 11:41 PM - Thread Starter
 
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She is 12.5 and has a busty chest, so I knew it would be soon. I just think its too weird that she gets her period while I'm newly pregnant.

She did take me aside to tell me, but didn't need any assistance or instructions. When I tried to give her some tips, she didn't want me to talk about it anymore (not in a sad depressed way, just in a "I got it under control, mom" way).

Sigh. I know every mom must have such mixed feelings when this happens to their daughters.
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Old 06-01-2005, 01:11 AM
 
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I remember when I got my first visit. I was 10, believe it or not. My mom let me skip a day of school and took me out to lunch...made it very special!
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Old 06-01-2005, 01:14 AM
 
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How exciting! What a beautiful thing for your daughter.

Celebrate with her!

Mama to 9 so far:Mother of Joey (20), Dominick (13), Abigail (11), Angelo (8), Mylee (6), Delainey (3), Colton (2) and Baby 8 and Baby 9 coming sometime in July 2013.   If evolution were true, mothers would have three arms!

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Old 06-01-2005, 10:20 AM
 
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My mom always did something special for me and my sisters the first time. Maybe just approach it slowly so she doesn't feel embarassed.... of course I was 16 when I finally got mine... I was so excited I was dancing in the streets :LOL

Maaaammaa!! to A 2/99 M 7/00 J 10/04 B 4/07 S 3/09
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Old 06-01-2005, 11:39 AM
 
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Wow. I was just going to post the same thing. My daughter was pretty private about it too. She told me, but didn't want anyone else to know. The two of went out for a little celebratory ice cream.

It's a kind of bittersweet transition. I know we are moving into new teritory here. My little girl is growing up.
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Old 06-01-2005, 12:01 PM
 
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My dd was 13 and 7 months when she got hers, and was honestly THE LAST girl in her class to get it. The girls at school all celebrated for her.

When she got home, I could sense all afternoon that she wanted to tell me something, but every time she could get me alone, her brother would have some crisis. I took her for a drive after dinner, and she told me then. We have had supplies for her at our house since she was 11, and she knew what to do. She is fiercely independent, and after telling me she does not talk about it anymore. She is 16 now, and told me she was calling her doctor for something to relieve her cramps, and then she did it. I am kind of sad she does not share more, but proud that she really can take care of herself.
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Old 06-01-2005, 09:00 PM
 
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My dd had her first recently. She got a special meal out and we bought her a piece of ruby jewelry to always remember that day.
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Old 06-01-2005, 09:50 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Thanks for all the sympathy and ideas

I'm going to take her out to lunch on Friday and then go get her a ring with her birthstone I think. She wore the ring she got when my dh and I got married until she grew out of it. So I think she'd like a new ring.
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Old 06-01-2005, 11:10 PM
 
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My dd got hers when I was pregnant, too! Maybe its hormones? She was actually later than I was, so we had been looking for it for a while. She never liked to talk much about it, either, but seemed ok with it. We didn't go out-I was too huge to get around much by then.
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Old 06-05-2005, 10:55 AM
 
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My dd also got hers during my pregnancy. She's only 10 and has only had it once, though. Hopefully it will be sporadic for the next 2 years. We happened to be at the pediatrician's office the next day and I asked her about how often we should expect it and she said it can be anywhere from monthly to 3 times a year for the first 2 years or so. That was nice to hear. Apparently she had a pretty heavy flow and I'd hate for it to be every month at such a young age.
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Old 06-05-2005, 11:28 AM
 
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I just wanted to recomend "The Period Book"

Its filled with answers to all those questions she might have, but would rather DIE than ask you!
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Old 06-05-2005, 03:45 PM
 
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Thanks for the idea about taking dd out to lunch- I'll keep that in mind whenever one of my dds gets AF. I'm just praying they don't get it at the exact same time- they each need their own "special day."

Ruth, single mommy to Leah, 19, Hannah, 18 (commuting to college), and Jack, 13(homeschooled)
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Old 06-05-2005, 03:49 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by QueenMommy
I remember when I got my first visit. I was 10, believe it or not. My mom let me skip a day of school and took me out to lunch...made it very special!
I love this idea. I'm going to keep this in mind for when the time comes for my daughter.
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Old 06-05-2005, 10:18 PM
 
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Gethane, congrats to your dd on getting her first AF!

I got mine when I was 10. I guess my Mom was about the same age, so she had been waiting for me to come and tell her. Hehe! So in about 7 years I will be waiting for my own dd to come and tell me.

kathywiehl, for your dd's sake I also hope that she doesn't have a heavy flow every month. I did, and I also had the incapasitating cramps to go along with it, so I will keep my fingers crossed for her (and you).

Goldie, Mom to 5 my kiddos and forever loving on my fantabulous dh John.
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Old 06-05-2005, 11:40 PM
 
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Must be something in the water - my girl got her first visit a couple of weeks ago too - she's eleven. Such a bittersweet thing for us mamas to see in our little ones....

She had been asking for a pair of hoop earrings, so I got her a pretty pair to "celebrate". She was thrilled!
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Old 06-06-2005, 01:22 AM
 
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I love all the ideas.
I started my period at 12, my sister at 11 and my mom at 9....DD will be 12 two weeks from today, so anytime now.
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Old 06-11-2005, 10:02 AM
 
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Since we are already on this topic, I have twin 9 y/o girls and I don't know if I should get them "prepared" or just let it happen. My mother passed when I was 10 and I had to learn on my own and I don't know what to do. thanks
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Old 06-11-2005, 02:40 PM
 
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My mom started her period at 9, my aunt at 8 (I was 12 and my sister 11), so we've talked about/read books/bought supplies so that she's prepared. I think 9 is prime time to talk, JMO.
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Old 06-12-2005, 09:41 PM
 
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One of my twin girls has started, but not the other. I'm totally floored by that. They've done everything (teeth, crawling, walking, etc) within 1 day of each other.

I wanted to make a bigger deal out of it than she did. She just kept saying "I can handle it mom"

sad and proud
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Old 06-23-2005, 12:21 AM
 
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Society teaches girls to want to start. Once they start their peers and older girls teach them to hate it. What a twist! As her Mom, be sure to offer positive reinforcement on a regular basis to help her not have such a dramatic shift. And, be sure to know its good for you to discuss with your friends your feelings about her growing up too.
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Old 07-07-2005, 03:56 AM
 
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and I know exactly how you feel


She wrote me a note in code (presumably so that DH and sibs couldn't read it?) and when I asked her if she had everything under control she assured me she did. We giggled in the kitchen about how our hormones would make her dad miserable and had ice cream I am so proud that she is handling it so well (she tends to be squeamish about blood) and yet I'm all misty about my baby growing up

I plan on buying her some jewelery to commemorate the occasion and leaving it at that. She seems not to want to make a big deal of it.

-Jen
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Old 07-07-2005, 04:07 PM
 
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I have a Rite of Passage gathering planned for when mine start. Also, DH will take them to get their ears pierced after the gathering. Definately prepare them. Peers will prepare them but not necessarily in the ways you would like.
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Old 07-07-2005, 09:01 PM
 
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My daughter just started hers in April (I miscarried the next day of her new journey into womenhood though). She was 10 years old, she told everyone that she would never wear a bra and never have a monthly.

When she started her horrible moods and popping out on top, we got her the bra. When she woke up in the morning and her 15 year old brother saw her underwear while putting in the wash she claimed she just was itchy and scratched herself raw down there. This went on for another hour or so until my hubby get a hold of her in the bathroom while she was going and he said you have started your monthly and need to talk to mom about where the pads are kept. He told me I needed to talk to her and give her the supplies as he was walking out the door for work. I am not as crabby as she is. She is 11 years old and we will see if she is better at her moods, wearing pads, and the whole thing now. So much for her saying she will not ever wear a bra or have a monthly.
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Old 07-07-2005, 09:36 PM
 
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My dd just got hers too. She will be 11 in August. We are planning a special dinner & dessert. I am also planning to make her a necklace with some special beads and maybe a little silver moon on it.

edited to say: I forgot the day it came that we went out and bought some chocolate candy bars and rented a movie so we could have our own little pajama party while her dad was at a late meeting. Of course I needed the chocolate too
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Old 07-07-2005, 11:40 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by mama2
Of course I needed the chocolate too

Oh, of course!

I believe the ice cream we had was called Triple chocolate explosion, or something like that

-Jen
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Old 07-09-2005, 09:02 PM
 
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Mine got hers this morning .... hard for me to believe she is growing up but glad to see her bloom into a woman.........
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