HELP! How do you deal with agression/bulling of your DC? - Mothering Forums

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Old 06-22-2005, 06:20 PM - Thread Starter
 
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my dsd is 10, her cousin is 11. Thye like to spend time together, but its becomming more and more worrisome for me. Every time dsd spends time with her cousin she comes back with bruisis and an attitude problem. At easter the cousin hit dsd in plain view of the grownups. DH made a comment about what he'd do if that was his daughter, her mom ignored him and goased dsd saying shes being a crybaby. The bruise was as big as a softball. St the fathers dad party even though she was asked to stop repeaditly by DH she gave dsd weggies over and over untill dsd's bottom bled! The counis also talks down to dsd and likes to humiliate her and brad about things (tho this attitude she picked up from her mom who has an old gripe with DH and talks down about him and takes it out on dsd by treating her badly.) Oh, and when dsd spent the night there the girls went wandering around by themselves and found themselves in a situation where a strange man was touching their backs!
DH and I find this unacceptable, are we being too strict?
DH told dsd's mom that he didn't want her to spend time with her cousin. Her mom of couse told the DHs sister and now she's angry and will just take it out on dd, dsd and us more.
Any tips/hints on how to deal with this?
We haven't talked to SIL yet, but in the past she just chalked up her daughters behavior to being boistrous and that dsd was a tattletale and a weekling who needed to be toughened up.
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Old 06-25-2005, 02:20 PM
 
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i would not go anyplace where the cousin is, i would not let the cousin in my house or my daughter play with the cousin, the cousin is being abusive, i would let her, and her mother know that until she can stop being abusive they would not be seeing my daughter

mama to two amazing children son 10/27/07 and daughter 07/07/11

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Old 06-30-2005, 05:47 AM
 
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There is a FANTASTIC book called The Bully, The Bullied, and the Bystander by Barbara Coloroso. My library has it. Yours might, too. The book profiles each of the 3 characters and makes many suggestions on how to deal with each. I plan on buying copies for our children's school principals when they start school.

I agree with the above poster to not let your kid go near the cousin.
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