pre-teen nephew in shelter - Mothering Forums
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#1 of 2 Old 11-16-2002, 10:28 PM - Thread Starter
 
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I wasn't sure where to post this. I thought this spot would be appropriate. My 12 year old nephew is in a shelter for kids who needed to be taken out of their home. Long story made short-my sister, his mother abandon him and his brother and sister a few years ago. Dad and his new wife raising them plus her kids and new kids of their own. Dad physically abused him and his brother. Now the therapist is saying there may be sexual abuse concerning his sister. He and his sister were placed in the shelter last December. His brother was placed in a foster family immediately because he has special needs (Aspergers syndrome). Finallly this wonderful woman became my 12 year old nephew and 8 year old niece's foster mom. She had them 7 months and did an amazing job. She is still doing an amazing job with my niece but decided that the 12 year old was too much to handle for her. So he is now back at the shelter. I live out of town and just went to visit him last weekend. He seemed to be taking everything okay. He finally opened up to me about his mom abandoning him and his dad abusing him. He is such a resilliant boy. But during my visit I realized that he is not a little boy anymore. He is becoming a young man. (We talked about his girlfriend, etc.). I have a 5 year old son. I know how to relate to him. Trouble is I haven't been around 12 year old boys since I was 12! How do I relate to a boy his age? Especially a boy with his emotional trama. Sometimes I just don't know what to say to him. Are there any books out there that could help an Auntie with this issue? Any advice from parents of pre-teens out there? Thanks
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#2 of 2 Old 11-18-2002, 09:29 AM
 
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I just wanted to tell you that Im sending you some white light...with sparkles...
I think just talking from your heart, The book that came to mind to me was" non violent communication " becauser I would assume that this young man has probably been dealing with alot of violent types of communication and there might be some important tools that would be usefulk in there...other than that, the language of LOVE is what I would suggest...and I hope you are able to be a family for this young man no matter how distant...~m
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