were you promiscuous as a teen? - Page 3 - Mothering Forums
View Poll Results: Were you:
Promiscuous as a teen, and regret it. 96 16.67%
Promiscuous as a teen, and do NOT regret it. 73 12.67%
Not promiscuous, but sexually active as a teen, and regret it. 71 12.33%
Not promiscuous, but sexually active, and do NOT regret it. 163 28.30%
Not sexually active as a teen. 173 30.03%
Voters: 576. You may not vote on this poll

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#61 of 131 Old 07-24-2005, 08:25 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by gentlestrengths
My body was meant for HIM to enjoy...my body is my husbands, and no one else's.
I agree with the general sentiment but the ownership statement? My body is mine. I plan to teach my daughters that whether single or married, their bodies are their own.
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#62 of 131 Old 07-24-2005, 10:15 PM
 
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I would have been considered promiscuous by most people, although I didn't think I was at the time. Regret isn't something I tend to feel about my past anymore, but I certainly would not want my daughters going down the same path. I started at 14, and gave birth to my first child a month after I turned 16. I exposed myself to STDs, was often on drugs or alcohol, and was taken advantage of by men twice my age - I was just too naive to know a line and a bad deal if it was candy coated. Somehow, I thought if I gave them what they wanted they would love me more or love me at all. Things were pretty rocky at home, and I didn't feel the love there, and the quickest way to popular girl at school seemed to be flirting and generally getting into situations that were hard to get out of, sometimes ending in date rape, sometimes just going along with stuff that I didn't really want because I didn't know how to say no.

The worst of it all of it is how jaded I became, and how little I respected my body and my own sexuality. Later, I had plenty of casual sex that I didn't regret , but often it was about as special or intimate as a hug between friends. Sex became something physical instead of mental & emotional, and although it was pleasurable (often very), it was just a quick fix kind of sex instead of the quality connected 'making love' kind of sex that is the really good stuff. I still struggle to make that connection today, even though I've been with dh for nearly 10 yrs. Hopefully my kids can find a softer path.
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#63 of 131 Old 07-25-2005, 08:03 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by gentlestrengths
In my opinion, no teen is emotionally ready for sex outside of a marriage relationship.
Your opinion is unsupported by fact.

Quote:
Girls want to have sex to please boys
Ick? Haven't you seen the women here who say they wanted to have sex because they were ready to and they enjoyed it? Granted, we live in a misogynistic culture, so there is pressure on girls to conform to the desires of males, but this is not an intrinsic quality, nor is it universal by any means.

Now that you are married, do you only have sex to please your husband? I hope not. Maybe, like so many other women -- including unmarried and teenage women -- you pursue sex because you want it, because you enjoy it, because it makes you a happier and healthier person.

Quote:
What happens (in my opinion) when they break up is someone else slept with your daughters husband, or your sons wife. Gross.
'Cause marriages never break up.

Quote:
I am devastated that I gave my body to other men
Now that is gross. Enjoying my body through sex, no matter who it's with, is not giving it away, nor does it yield any of my rights, nor does it imply ownership by anyone but me.

Quote:
Why can't you "enjoy sex and claim [your] sexuality" with your husband?
Some women don't want to commit to a lifetime with the person they may want to have sex with. Some women don't want to be married, period. Some people don't subscribe to your belief system. And last but not least, some women will never have a husband because they are lesbians. Are all these women to be permanently chaste? Evidently, according to you.

Quote:
Originally Posted by gentlestrengths
Our bodies' hormones have cycles that make us crave sex so that we will get pregnant.
Actually, if this were true, women would only crave sex when we are ovulating, and men would only crave sex when they sensed the pheromones of an ovulating woman. Primates are unique in pursuing sex for pleasure -- but many primates do it, so it is not abnormal. (Oh, and dolphins. I fogot about dolphins.)

Quote:
I also want to teach them self control.
Being sexually active *is* having self-control. It's having control over your self, and your body, and how you fulfil your own desires and with whom.

Quote:
I want them to know everything about sex and men and women and sexuality
Great! Then you will need to teach them that there are many, many people who have sex before/outside of marriage, and love it, and are perfectly happy with themselves, and would not change a thing
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#64 of 131 Old 07-25-2005, 08:23 PM
 
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(Oh, and dolphins. I fogot about dolphins.)
How could you forget about the dolphins? :LOL
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#65 of 131 Old 07-25-2005, 08:51 PM
 
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I forgot I had posted in this thread! Tiredx2 and BooBerryParker, I’m glad I’m not the only one

Quote:
Originally Posted by gentlestrengths
In my opinion, no teen is emotionally ready for sex outside of a marriage relationship. Something committed. Girls want to have sex to please boys, and boys want to have sex because they're hormonal.
I totally disagree. All people are different and everyone has their own reason for being sexually active. I have never done anything in my life to please ANYONE. That is probably the last reason I had sex with DP. I have sex to please MYSELF

Quote:
I am devastated that I gave my body to other men before my husband.
I am truly sorry you feel that way, what a burden that must be.

Quote:
My body was meant for HIM to enjoy...my body is my husbands, and no one else's.
: Really? My body is mine and for me to enjoy. And anyone else who is lucky enough to enjoy it with me.

Quote:
And what about disease? Are teenagers responsible enough to require their partner to show them a negatives AIDS test result prior to being involved sexually? Usually not.
Some are, some aren't. I was.

That's about all I have to say. I am not really willing to get into a debate on whether or not sex before marriage is ok. In my book it is fine, if you are ready. And only YOU can know for sure if you are ready. We're all different, and that's cool. I just only hope that my kids will be able to make responsible decisions based on honest information not just my personal opinions) and be ok with whatever they choose!


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#66 of 131 Old 07-25-2005, 09:24 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by gentlestrengths
In my opinion, no teen is emotionally ready for sex outside of a marriage relationship. Something committed. Girls want to have sex to please boys, and boys want to have sex because they're hormonal.
Whoa. I find so many things wrong with these statements. We are obviously at completely different mindsets here. I will just say I guess that *sometimes* I have had sex to please boys/men and *sometimes* I have had sex because *I* am hormonal and wanting it wayyyyyy more than the guy in question at the time! You can't just divide it by gender lines there, sorry.


Quote:
I am devastated that I gave my body to other men before my husband. My body was meant for HIM to enjoy...my body is my husbands, and no one else's.
I'm very, very sorry you feel that way. I am not being sarcastic - it must be awful to have such remorse. However, not everyone feels that their body needs to belong ONLY to their spouse, yesterday, now, and forever. Heck, I guess I don't see my body as "belonging" to anyone but myself at all. And I for one am VERY happy that both DP and myself have had other partners. So is he. We feel it brings depth of experience to our relationship. I am not saying you are wrong for feeling the way you feel - just please realize that is not the "right" feeling for everyone.

Quote:
How do you know how sex with multiple partners will affect your child? Just because multiple partners doesn't affect you - doesn't mean it won't affect your child.
I don't know that it won't affect my child. Then again, I also don't know that having NO partners other than their spouse won't affect my child. Many people are negatively affected by THAT - I believe some of them have posted on this thread. Either way, there's a possibility of regret or negative results.

Quote:
I know people that tell me they can't get their past sexual relationships/behaviors out of their head - that they just creep up on them. In dreams, in thoughts, sometimes in lusts. That is a horrible thing to bring into a marriage. Not to mention that this can cause emotional problems within the marriage.
I know that I can't get my past sexual relationships out of my head - and I *wouldn't want to.* They are part of my memories, part of my life, part of who I am. Yes, I have dreams and thoughts of past partners sometimes. So does DP. We find this normal and fine. We share them with each other. Sometimes it's amusing. Sometimes it turns us on - imagine that! Sometimes it just gives us deeper insight into the other person. I don't find it a horrible thing to bring to a marriage at all. Nor has it caused us emotional problems. Please don't speak for everyone that way. For *some* people it might cause problems sure. For others it might be a *benefit.*


Quote:
The other women I've known that have had sex before marriage have had multiple partners and all of them have sexual dysfunction within their marriage relationships now. Whether emotional, or physical. I'm not saying it's ruining their marriage or anything, there are varying degrees. Still, it's there.
Well, I can vouch that I don't have sexual dysfunction in my relationship. And I have known people for whom never having been with anyone else caused sexual dysfunction in their relationship. Again, you can't say the outcome of one choice or another is going to be the same for everyone.
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#67 of 131 Old 07-26-2005, 09:11 AM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by girlndocs
Actually, if this were true, women would only crave sex when we are ovulating, and men would only crave sex when they sensed the pheromones of an ovulating woman. Primates are unique in pursuing sex for pleasure -- but many primates do it, so it is not abnormal. (Oh, and dolphins. I fogot about dolphins.)
While I'm definitely on the sex-is-good end of the spectrum philosophically (and of course enjoy it personally) I have to point out that everyone is different and SOME women basically do only "crave" sex when ovulating. Like me, for example. Sex at other times of the month and while pg & non-ovulating yet bf is nice, but for me not a true neccesity of life.

And a single instance of rape is some # of times more likely to result in pg than a single instance of consensual sex which I have to think has something to do with men having a (non-conscious) ability to detect an ovulating woman's pheremones and a biological imperative (again, non-conscious - I'm trying hard NOT to imply that rapists have any justification for their actions, which they don't) to reproduce.

Um. That's all kinda beside the original poster's point, though.

I chose not sexually active as a teen, though technically I suppose I was 19 when then-bf, now dh & I began our sexual relationship (we met when I was 13). I certainly had my chances to be with other people earlier. I don't regret not doing it, annd though of course things could always change, I really doubt I'm headed for a 40-something bout of promiscuity either! It's just not my style.

I think there were some good reasons I didn't bring sex into those friendships, and some less noble ones. The way I have always put it is, why have a relationship if you know it's not going to be permanent? My idea of a friend I haven't known very long is someone I met 10 years ago. This comes straight out of my pain at losing my family (as I as a child felt it *should* be) when my parents permanently separated when I was 8. This I see as less noble b/c it's not logical. More noble is the fact that *I* wasn't ready to separate sex and love as a teen and I knew that and chose not to confuse my friendships with my sexuality. As an adult *I* have the emotional clarity to allow sex to be sometimes about love and sometimes about lust which makes for good flexibility and variety - *within* my monogamous relationship w/DH.

I don't think there's anything wrong with people who do things differently than me, though. I know that there are many ways to be responsibly sexual. I respect my own choices, I chose a partner who thinks and feels similarly to how I do on the topic, and I respect the rights of others to make their own choices an it harm none.

Here as mama to W (2/04), R (5/06), D (7/09), and J (12/9/12!), co-parenting with my DH

I WOH part-time, am a doula & childbirth educator, home/unschool, and hope we are nearing the center of chaos


 
  

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#68 of 131 Old 07-27-2005, 08:33 AM
 
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Girls want to have sex to please boys, and boys want to have sex because they're hormonal.
Did I just read this right?

The female body is incapable of sexual desire? Girls and women do not get aroused? We do not actually want sex? Girls and women don't masturbate?

You ONLY have sex to please your husband?
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#69 of 131 Old 07-27-2005, 01:21 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by gentlestrengths
In my opinion, no teen is emotionally ready for sex outside of a marriage relationship. Something committed. Girls want to have sex to please boys, and boys want to have sex because they're hormonal.
I am bothered by the statement that girls only have sex to please
boys. I was a very sexual child (yeah I said child, not teen) , and
no nothing bad happened to me, I was never taken advantage of
as a child. This was what was inside of me. I didn't know that this
wasn't the normal for most children until I was older and talked with
friends.
When I decided to have sex as a teen I wasn't just ready, I had been
waiting for boys my age to catch up. I knew what I liked, I knew what
felt good, from experiencing sexuality with myself for YEARS.
I guess by societies standards I was promiscuous as a teen. I had
two relationships (the second lasting 4 years) and two one night stands.
I also liked to kiss A LOT and didn't have sex with everybody I dated,
but there were those who yeah I wanted to sleep with, and so I did.

I talked to my girlfriends who were having sex, and didn't like to. I
wondered why they would if they didn't feel ready. I felt really bad
for them. I didn't understand.
I also tried to help one friend who was having sex, liked being with
her boyfriend, but wasn't having orgasms. I remember drawing
pictures, and telling her to go home, practice, cause you can't expect
a boy to know what will feel good if you don't. Worked out really well
for her.
I learned so much about myself from all my experiences. I don't regret
anything. Because I made up my mind what I did with my body.
I didn't do anything I wasn't ready for, or that I felt pressured to do.

What I wish for my dd in the future is that she knows herself. She feels
confident to say "Hey, stop that" if she doesn't want to do anything. Not
just sexually, but in all aspects of her life. I want her to know her boundaries
and what she is comfortable with doing, and not doing. I want her to own
herself. Respect her body. Plus I do want her to know that her body is
something not everybody is deserving of, and I hope she can make good
healthy choices about who to share it with, while being safe.
She already knows this as a preschooler. I have taught her that her
body is her body. Her teacher at dance class got a real kick when a
boy kept tackling dd. He thought it was funny, and dd responded "This
is my body, this is my space, if you can't respect that, I will have to
tell my Mommy".

-Janna, independent mother of dd, Ms. Mattie Sky born on my 25th birthday, 06*23*2000. My Mama Feb.21,1938-Sept.10,2006
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#70 of 131 Old 07-27-2005, 01:40 PM
 
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I really, really hate the word "promiscuous" in this context. It means haphazard, indiscriminate, heterogenous. Like, a promiscuous assembly is an "odd" assortment of people, from all classes/groups/etc. Or a automatic weapon fires promiscuously.

By implication it can be applied to the more-than-one-partner idea.

But, although I was very sexually active for a large part of my teens, I would not say I was promiscuous. I was very particular about whom I made the moves on, or who's invitations I accepted. They had to fit a rather narrow set of criteria. OTOH, life is short, and I had other things to do than just think about sex and so, I found that I had all my very rare spare time filled with those who fit the list. And there were enough of them that there are a few whose faces I can see clearly, but I haven't the foggiest as to their names.

Regrets? Only about those who were clumsy.

Few "relationships". I was completely uninterested in relationships. I liked athletics, however.
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#71 of 131 Old 07-27-2005, 01:49 PM
 
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I posted above before reading all the posts and have just read gentlestrength's post.

Regarding
Quote:
In my opinion, no teen is emotionally ready for sex outside of a marriage relationship. Something committed. Girls want to have sex to please boys, and boys want to have sex because they're hormonal.
I want to ask the following:

What exactly frightens people about female uncommitted sexuality?

And why is male uncommitted sexuality acceptable?

And, btw, I was certainly "emotionally ready" for sex. Why? 'Cause I didn't have emotions tied up in it.

Frightening, eh? You don't like that? Think I'm unwomanly, or some other such thing?

C'mon. Let's hear it.

And my lack of emotionality during the period of uncommitted sex in no way affected my love for my friends, current partner, or son.

Sorry, bub. Yer wrong.
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#72 of 131 Old 07-27-2005, 06:23 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by gentlestrengths
I was watching Dr. Drews show the other night and there was a man on there who was horrified at his small penis size....but wanted to have sex...but avoided it because he felt too small. You know - if he waited until he was in love with a person, and the person was in love with him, and they committed to each other to be married and with eachother forever and they had never had sex before with anyone else - it wouldn't really matter to her what his penis looked like - big or small - because 1) she wouldn't know any different and 2) because she LOVES him and is committed to him - not because of his penis size, but because she LOVES him.
Or he could have met me. I chose my first sexual partner because he was rather small. I had seen enough to know by that point. I didn't tell him that's why we did it, but he did know it was my first. No regrets.

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#73 of 131 Old 07-27-2005, 08:18 PM
 
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Good readin'

I am really surprised at how many ppl are comfortable with their sexuality--I feel like I need some serious therapy after hearing about all of you enjoying sex and wanting sex : I grew up in a home where ANYthing remotely sexual was totally frowned upon. My parents had me, the only, in their mid-40's, and later I found that my mom suffered a gang rape at age 9. She grew up as a devout Catholic and wasn't even allowed to talk about the rape to anyone--it was treated as if it was her fault :Puke So, as I was growing up, sex/sexual feelings were treated as something dirty and horrible and only to be used for procreation inside a lifelong marriage. (you know, after typing all that I bet I do need therapy)

I was the social misfit teen who didn't know how else to get guys to like me except by leading them on. My first was at 16 and I'm happily married to him now, but there were plenty of "close calls" in between then and now, one of which ended up as a several-months long series of, well, I guess you'd call them date rapes. I couldn't stand the guy but had zero capability to stick up for myself adn tell him "NO!" To this day he probably thinks it was consentual--bleah.

I unfortunately have a LOT of hangups abbout sex, but I don't want to pass any of that onto my kids either. It would be lovely and amazing to be able to say "no regrets"

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#74 of 131 Old 07-27-2005, 08:44 PM
 
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I think I was promiscious as a teen for a short period of time. I was sexually active mostly with older men. I was a stupid teen that thought, hey they are more mature than my teen guy friends. AAAANNNN! Wrong! My first was with a teacher who was twice as old as I was. He approached me and frankly I wasn't attracted to him. I was flattered that by an older man was approaching me (stalking a bit). I thought I was in love. Little did I know he was engaged with someone his age for 8/9 years (she broke it off later). So, I was just a toy to him. I remember the days of fantasizing about marriage. Thinking about him still hurts. It's something that I haven't gotten over. I don't know why I hold on to my pain like it means something. I hate him. I wish I was like some here that didn't regret the past. I hate having those feelings and allowing him to take advantage of me.


After he called it off, he jetted to Florida trying to escape what he did (IMO). It was consentual but manipulated. IMO, I'm glad I didn't marry him. He is pathetic and I know more about his loser life now than I did before.

Anyhow, I'd dated older men cos I thought they would resemble RD (teacher) and of course I thought they were more mature. I don't blame them cos I was 17 and not 15 when I was with the "Teacher".
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#75 of 131 Old 07-28-2005, 01:33 AM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by umbrella
Did I just read this right?

The female body is incapable of sexual desire? Girls and women do not get aroused? We do not actually want sex? Girls and women don't masturbate?

You ONLY have sex to please your husband?
LOL. I haven't logged in in a few days. I am still reading responses. I liked this one best so far though and had to respond.

I was being very general, of course (well, not "of course" - since everyone commented on this, obviously!). I mean, of course women, girls...have sexual desires...of course. I think that goes without saying. However, most young girls have a drive to please boys - to bait them. Really, none of you can admit to this? I find that hard to believe. I am only 28. High school wasn't too long ago and I remember clearly how it went. I'll answer all the other horrified responses soon.

Amanda, wife to my best friend Josh, Mommy to Jenna, Lukas, Adam, Livea and Ethan!
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#76 of 131 Old 07-28-2005, 02:08 AM
 
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Both of my parents were alcoholics while I was growing up. I had very little attention and warmth from them, and very little supervision, especially at night. I was sexually active at 15, and basically had a few long term boyfriends that I was active with until college.

As a result of finding out that I was sexually active, my mother became verbally abusive, calling me a slut, skanky, nice things like that, and asking me if I was going to be "f***ing" every time I went anywhere. What had been an avenue for love and closeness for me (and I still have fond feelings for those first high school boyfriends) was turned into an avenue for shame and self-hatred.

In college I was a little more reckless. I wouldn't say I regret it, as I was able to dodge STD's, learn a lot about myself, had some fun, and learn what I wanted in a partner. I had no positive modeling from my parents or other adults in my life, and I think I needed to learn this way.

I am very happy with my husband, who was one of my high school boyfriends , and I have no regrets about my past, and no regrets that I hope to be with my partner for the rest of my life.

L.
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#77 of 131 Old 07-28-2005, 12:43 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by gentlestrengths
I am only 28. High school wasn't too long ago and I remember clearly how it went. I'll answer all the other horrified responses soon.


Trust me mama, high school was a much shorter time ago for me than it was for you, and I certainly don't remember ANYONE that I knew having sex to please boys. I went to great lengths to make sure boys pleased me! I loved sex...no regrets.

Oh, and about the whole aids test thing, before any partner and I would have unprotected sex, we would go together to PP and get a full screen for STD's and HIV. It made sex that much better knowing I was safe.
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#78 of 131 Old 07-28-2005, 12:45 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by gentlestrengths
LOL. I haven't logged in in a few days. I am still reading responses. I liked this one best so far though and had to respond.

I was being very general, of course (well, not "of course" - since everyone commented on this, obviously!). I mean, of course women, girls...have sexual desires...of course. I think that goes without saying. However, most young girls have a drive to please boys - to bait them. Really, none of you can admit to this? I find that hard to believe. I am only 28. High school wasn't too long ago and I remember clearly how it went. I'll answer all the other horrified responses soon.

I'm only 25, and that is not my experience at all. In fact, my first sexual experience was with my best friend because I wanted to have sex and not deal with a relationship. It was fantastic and he is still a close friend of mine. I can say without a doubt that I did not have sex to please any boys and neither did my friends. I highly doubt that we are the exception.

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#79 of 131 Old 07-28-2005, 12:56 PM
 
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I was, and I regret it.

But there are SO many issues why I did it to begin with. I was WAY WAY to young (12) but I thought I was so much in love with this boy (14 or 15) and I had wanted him to notice me. So when he did, it was like I would have done anything to please him..and I did. Well...you can imagine how that whole debacle turned out and I was just devastated of course because he cared not a wit about me and after the first time he kept coming back for more. No matter how much this guy hurt me or what he said about me, and talk he did, I just could never tell him "No." I mean this went on for years and years...like up until the time I was 15 or 16. I just could never cut him loose or tell him no when ever he came around. Finally he just stopped coming around all together....It took me FOREVER to get over him. BTW...this is tooo bizare. I've never told anyone about the true nature of this relationship, this is the first time I've ever talked about this OR gone in to detail about it.

On the other side of the coin is the fact that I absolutely LOVE men. I always have. I love the way they smell, the way they walk, the way they look in a good pair of jeans. There is nothing about men that I DON'T love. Living near a naval base, an airforce and an army base was like being in a candy shop for me. A man in uniform still floors me everytime. I have always loved men. So there is that and it didn't help being a hormonal teenage girl who's sex-drive was in perpetual overdrive.

I don't know....I want very much to teach my daughters the value of virginity. I think it is the most special thing you can give to the one that you love...and it shouldn't be thrown away lightly. If I could take back mine...I would in a heart-beat. I wish I'd never, never even laid eyes on that guy. It was such a slippery slope on a downward path. I married my husband (a military man, BTW) when I was 18...we've been together for 16 years. I love him SO much and I wish I would have saved that special part of me to give to him.

 

 

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#80 of 131 Old 07-28-2005, 03:25 PM
 
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Oh, I don't know...I'm 24, and when I was in highschool I knew several girls in my circle of friends that were just baiting the boys and not knowing how/when to say NO. But I think they were all a lot like me--girls who grew up in fanatical-religious homes with "sin-induced" shame for even thinking about boys.... One of them, we used to joke with her that her motto was "what was I thinking??!" usually spoken the next day! Another friend of mine was very, ah, active and most of the time enjoyed it with "kid in a candy shop" zeal. But I also saw her deal with date rape, and miscarriages, and I think it's fair to say she had her own share of regrets.

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#81 of 131 Old 07-28-2005, 08:02 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by momo7
I was, and I regret it.

But there are SO many issues why I did it to begin with. I was WAY WAY to young (12) ... Finally he just stopped coming around all together....It took me FOREVER to get over him. BTW...this is tooo bizare. I've never told anyone about the true nature of this relationship, this is the first time I've ever talked about this OR gone in to detail about it.
I was in a similar situation but it was abusive/ non consensual. This sounds like an abusive relationship, esp. given the age difference.
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#82 of 131 Old 07-28-2005, 08:35 PM
 
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Hi All,

I was not sexually active as a teen, in fact things did not get started for me until college. I don't have girls, but I remember many friends growing up who were very active. I grew up iin a family that gave plenty of love, some what strict but not to bad. All in all I would not change anything.

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#83 of 131 Old 07-28-2005, 10:10 PM
 
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No, I was never promiscuous as a teenager, nor at any other time in my life.

I do not regret it.

I waited until I was married. Then I became sexually active.

I highly resent it when I go to a doctor and I am treated as though I have been promiscuous and I am subjected to every test.
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#84 of 131 Old 07-30-2005, 03:39 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by meowee
I was in a similar situation but it was abusive/ non consensual. This sounds like an abusive relationship, esp. given the age difference.

I'm so sorry about that for you. What a terrible experiance.


I'm not sure if I'd classify that relationship I had as abusive...I mean I was certainly abusive to myself...but he didn't do anything that I didn't let him do...I could have said no, I could have kicked him out of the house, I could have told my parents but I never did anything to tell him I didn't want it....I was definitely talked into it but he didn't rape me...I just never said "I really don't want to do this."

Geez now it sounds like I'm protecting him...which I am TOTALLY NOT doing...I wish I had more about me at the time to know the guy was just using me. The worst part about it all is what it did to my self-esteem and the path of self-destruction it set me on.

 

 

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#85 of 131 Old 07-31-2005, 01:15 AM
 
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Yep I was pretty promiscuous as a teen but only for a short time. I lost my virginity to my BF when I was 15...had some fun while dating him if you know what I mean and then had a child when I was 17. While I will say I don't regret those years I do wish I could have made wiser choices
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#86 of 131 Old 07-31-2005, 01:18 AM
 
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I was not active. I didn't even have my first kiss until after I was 18

Mama to 9 so far:Mother of Joey (20), Dominick (13), Abigail (11), Angelo (8), Mylee (6), Delainey (3), Colton (2) and Baby 8 and Baby 9 coming sometime in July 2013.   If evolution were true, mothers would have three arms!

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#87 of 131 Old 07-31-2005, 02:24 AM
 
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#88 of 131 Old 08-04-2005, 08:51 AM
 
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I wasn't promiscuous. I took the first boyfriend that came my way (finally) and had sex with him very quickly. We were together for a couple of years and I never really liked him. I liked that I had a boyfriend. I regret it because I was so eager to have a boyfriend, I never thought about whether I enjoyed being with him.

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#89 of 131 Old 08-09-2005, 06:13 AM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by gentlestrengths
However, most young girls have a drive to please boys - to bait them. Really, none of you can admit to this? I find that hard to believe. I am only 28. High school wasn't too long ago and I remember clearly how it went.
I'm 24 and nope, never "baited" boys.
What does that even really mean? Aren't women sexually autonomous beings, too?

When I got around to having sex for the first time, it was to satisfy my own sexual urges and curiosity, not to impress that cute guy with the blond crew cut. :LOL

My life as a teen was more about practicing the clarinet than chasing boys, but that didn't mean I was a celibate saint!
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#90 of 131 Old 08-09-2005, 02:17 PM
 
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[QUOTE=Vermillion]Not promiscuous at all, and kind of regret it, though that wasn’t as option. Is that strange?

QUOTE]

Exactly. Why isn't regretting not being sexually active an option?!

I didn't have sex till my twenties, and think I am too self-consious etc now about sex. And neither me nor dh have a lot of experience to work with. I regret not sleeping with my steady, two-year high school boyfriend - it would have a healthy and positive experience (and I would have been "safe" - my mom was really open and I knew all about condoms).
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