Grandparents want to take DD 10 on trip for a week... - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 13 Old 11-30-2002, 01:28 AM - Thread Starter
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She is in 5th grade and will miss 5 days of school.

I'm leaning toward saying no. I think she will miss too much in class, and I want my kids to know that we think school is important.

Input, anyone?
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#2 of 13 Old 11-30-2002, 04:22 AM
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I never think that kids should miss school for a planned trip. But I seem to be in the minority locally, so I've gotten used to it. Would you want her to go if it weren't school?
Can you speak to her teacher and see her reaction? It might be more important how the teacher feels about it.

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#3 of 13 Old 11-30-2002, 10:29 PM
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My ds is only 2 so I don't have personal experience to offer. My personal opinion is that trips with your grandparents are something that you can't make up, you can make up school work. I have friends with older kids and I remember one of them got into an arguement with the school principal because she was taking the kids out of school for a week to go visit their grandmother, who was spending her first birthday without her husband in over 55 years(granpa had died the summer before). The pricnipal told her it was not ok and they should schedule trips when school was out. My friend replied that as much as she felt school was important, that the more important lesson was that family should always be there for each other. Wherever they are going, she will most likely learn more while on that trip than she will in school. Things that you can't learn from just visiting with your grandparents. She will most likely remember it the rest of her life. I think it's a great idea, I vote let her go!
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#4 of 13 Old 11-30-2002, 11:03 PM
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I agree with Mamalisa. We never seem to get enough special memories with our grandparents.

I would ask dd how she feels about it. Is she a responsible child with her school work already? Does she think it will be too much pressure/too frustrating for her to try and catch up or keep up while she is away? Her attitude about her school work and whether or not she thinks she can handle the catch up work would make a big difference on whether its "too much class" to miss IMHO.

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#5 of 13 Old 12-01-2002, 12:26 AM
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For me it would depend on whether or not this trip is something I could do for my child at a more convenient time, and whether or not she gets to see these relatives often enough or not, and whether or not she's feeling healthy, emotionally and physically.

I don't have a tonne of cash, so when my Father offers to take Maeve somewhere which she would never otherwise be able to experience, I jump on it. She doesn't see him more than 6 times a year or so so every moment with him "counts", whereas she sees my Mother at least every other weekend for an overnight, so I am less likely to interrupt school for her.

And the healthy part, that goes without saying. I won't send a stressed out/sick kid anyplace, I don't care how long the reservation have been had or how much they cost.

School can be made up. Once in a lifetime experiences are just that.
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#6 of 13 Old 12-01-2002, 01:46 AM
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I'd say it depends on what the trip is going to entail. If grandparents will make it a real learning experience, you have good ammunition if the school doesn't like it.

I'd go to the teacher/principal and ask what she can do on the trip to make it more 'educational' in their eyes - eg keep a journal, write some accounts to read to the class when she returns, etc. Also, ask if there is any work the teacher would like her to do before she goes, or on the trip, or when she returns. Rarely is anything so important during the week that she will need to 'catch up', but it gives her the message that you can't just drop school for a week without some sort of responsibility to keep things up to date - a lesson for adult life too! And if there is something important that is going on that week, she won't feel left out when she returns.

I say, unless it can easily be scheduled out of school time, to let her go, but make it clear to her that she needs to keep up at school too.

Learning does not happen only in classrooms LOL, so I'd treat it as a learning experience and help her get the most out of it!
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#7 of 13 Old 12-01-2002, 03:22 AM
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I believe it depends on the reason for the trrip. IN the case of the grandmother spending her first birthday away from her husband, I would definitely pull my child from school. If it were a just because reason, or to do fun things with grandparents I would say no. "fun" trips should be planned when school breaks are scheduled. I have two reasons for this 1)education is very important to our family, and 2)it's difficult on kids to do homework that they have not been instructed on outside of the classroom. (This is only from my personal experience)

I also don't see the point of going on a trip, if they are going to be doing school work while on it.
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#8 of 13 Old 12-03-2002, 02:48 AM
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I'm a homeschooling parent so that very well may disqualify my advice. I just wonder, in the big picture, which will have more value. A week long trip with grandparents or a week of school? How much would a 10 year old really miss out on in the classroom, that couldn't be made up in a few nights of homework? What valuable life experiences will she learn from a week with the grandparents on holiday? What will she learn from you saying no? Are the grandparents a good influence on the child? Just some food for thought.

Let us know how it all works out. I'm sure you will make the right decision for your family.

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#9 of 13 Old 12-03-2002, 09:23 PM
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I would do it, unless she struggles in her classes. If she's keeping up, and can keep up with the absence, why not?
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#10 of 13 Old 12-04-2002, 07:59 PM
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For me it would depend on a number of things -

Do you trust the grandparents to take good care of her/are they good drivers? (my MIL could never take my kids anywhere as she is 78 and the worst driver on record)

Where are they going and why? If it was just an hour away to stay in a hotel and swim in the pool, etc. I would say no. If it was to visit rarely seen relatives or to a neat location where she may experience something new/neat, I would lean more toward yes.

Is there a reason they can't take her over her spring break?

Does she want to go?

Is she a good student? If she is struggling, putting her a week behind may not be the best course of action. But if she is doing well, it would probably not be too difficult for her to do that work as makeup.
Keep us posted!
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#11 of 13 Old 12-05-2002, 01:15 AM
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20 years from now the week of school will be long forgotten. But a week alone, being spoiled and loved by your Grandparents will be memory that will last forever.

What would you have wanted as a child???
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#12 of 13 Old 12-06-2002, 12:39 PM
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I would have to say to let her go with them!

When my ds was five I let him go with his grandpa to Montana (spelling) for a week. And next year they will go again. So it is not every year but my ds still talks about it like it was yesterday. It was worth the missed school time.

They left three weeks after school started, and I was worried that ds then wouldn't make friends, or be as social. I was so wrong, ds had so much to talk about!

I agree also with the person who posted about the money stuff to. There is no way I could afford a week trip like grandpa can, and ds goes to my sisters who lives in the middle of no where for a week each year. Even thought she has no money either, he gets to see his cousins, and they do tons of crafts. It is just cool to see him coming back from these places having learned somuch more than the week he misses at school!
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#13 of 13 Old 12-06-2002, 02:51 PM
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Wehn my oldest dd was 11, my parents took her on a road trip in Canada. She still talks about it, and she will be 17 in a couple weeks. We also don't travel much, so it was a great treat. I think it made her feel grown up and independent to go smewhere without her mom. My parents are different from me, in their skills with kids, but having been raised AP, she was confindent and secure enough to deal.

She got to meet some of my parent's friends, who were impresed with her, treated her like an equal, and still ask about her. She got to see seals, meet new dogs, take boat rides, try new foods, learn a little French, geography, history. Much more interesting and educational than school. (my parents were both teachers, and took us places all summer, every summer. I know I learned a lot being "world schooled" on those summers on the road)

I know some kids have so much bloody homework these days, but she can do it--make it up! You can help her, if you feel it's worth it.
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