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Old 08-12-2005, 06:13 PM - Thread Starter
 
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After my post here lastnight I went to go put some laundry away, and Dd started talking to me about how her best friend (also almost 12) likes a certain boy. Everytime my Dd and her friend head out to go to the park lately the friend "takes forever" finding the right shirt and shorts that won't show off "her fat rolls" so this certain boy will think she's sexy. She was irritated with said friend, but...

Dd said she mostly thinks it's dumb, but she admitted that every now and then thoughts like that creep into her brain too. She was feeling embarrased and wierded out about feeling that way. Wow. I was a little stunned. We talked about how the culture we live in is so deeply entrenched in thin=good and fat (or not even fat but bigger than say a size 8) =bad that we don't even notice we think that way too sometimes. We talked about how on sitcoms bigger women are usually the "funny" or "saracastic-sassy" ones but rarely the sexy ones.

So there was a long discussion about how her focus should be on her, and not about how other people see her....it should be about how she sees herself, and how she feels comfortable in her own skin. We talked about how if the only reason someone likes you is because of what you wear, or how much you weigh, than they aren't really liking YOU but just the outside of you. And that because the outside of you changes so much over the years that it's not really something you can build a strong foundation on IMO.

She feels better. Anyway, I am rambling now but I just couldn't believe how this came up just after IrishMommy's thread regarding her Dd. So definately a pre-teen girl thing then I guess?

"The true measure of a man is how he treats a man who can do him absolutely no good."
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Old 08-12-2005, 08:22 PM
 
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you also might want to talk with your dd about how much your body changes during puberty, how that can make you feel uncomfortable in your own skin. even if you like the way you look. knowing that it was ok to just feel weird made me feel a lot better when i was that age.

good luck.
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Old 08-12-2005, 08:53 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Oh yes definately a good point! We did get into how puberty can make you just feel all out strange s

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Old 08-12-2005, 09:07 PM
 
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you're starting to feel like a woman, but you sure don't think you look like one.

it's probably part of your dd's friends thinking too.
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