You know, in a quick defense of this girl's "obviously neglegant" mother...
I lied to my parents about my whereabouts plenty of times, and let me tell you--unless you are THERE, you don't
know what's going on. Example? I once slept over my boyfriends house while his parents were on vacation, and in order to do so I told my parents I was sleeping at my friend (from vo-tech) Dayana's house. All my parents had to do was act responsibly and I would have been caught, right? Nope.
Dayanas parents had no problem telling my dad that, yes, I was indeed sleeping over, and yes, they'd be home the whole time, and no, there would not be anyone else.
Another friends mother, whom my father had known for about 6 years (they went to each others BBQs, had coffee together, played cards all the time, etc) agreed that my parents rules were too strict and had no issues lying for me plenty of times.
I've posed as my sister's mother and lied to her friend's parents when there were DV issues involved.
Just because you speak with parents, or meet them, or even know them well, doesn't mean you can controll a determined teenager. Especially if you do not respect her from the get-go, or worse--if she does not respect herself.
PS-laralou, even if your son were 100% involved, his girlfriend would most likely still shoulder more than he. She has the health risks associated with preg/birth, she may have to miss school and fail classes due to the pregnancy, she is the one who will carry the brunt of the "teenage parent" stigma, and more than likely, the child will live with her, leaving more childcare responsibilites on her. (I'm NOT saying that teen dads can't be amazing. My ds's dad was an awsome 18 y/o dad! But I still had more responisbility than him). To say that pregnancy and parenthood
|is definitely as much a consequence for the boy as for the girl
is idealistic at best, naive at worst. I'm not attacking you at all, I'm sure your son would take great care of his child. But there are differences.