Watch your girls!!!! Please! - Page 3 - Mothering Forums

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#61 of 65 Old 09-13-2005, 05:13 PM
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Thanks for your posts CMM.

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#62 of 65 Old 09-13-2005, 06:34 PM
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I'm glad this was brought up and grateful my 11yo ds wants to be homeschooled through high school. I think about the boys side of it because I have a son. I know he could easily be pressured into doing something he wasn't totally ready for, so I worry for him. STDs are a risk and a pregnancy (regardless of the fact that he wouldn't actually carry the baby) is definitely as much a consequence for the boy as for the girl, since no son of mine will ever shirk his parental duties unless he wants to be disowned (ds's dad is a deadbeat). I will definitely be worrying about my girls later.

I just can't imagine letting my middle schooler go anywhere where I wasn't totally sure of the parental supervision. My ds doesn't go anywhere without me, dh, a grandparent or his best friend's parents. But then I live on a street where 4yos ride big wheels down the middle of the street without a parent in sight. Not exactly protecting the gift.
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#63 of 65 Old 09-13-2005, 06:47 PM
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where my sister lives the bracelet story is true. her dd came home last year and told her exactly what was going on with the bracelets (my niece didn't have any - phew). there was also an oprah show that dealt with the bracelets in schools and it seemed to be true, they interviewed students, parents and principals about the issue. of course, the show also dealt with blow-jobs in the bathrooms too.
i think what i feel the most sad about young kids having sex is that many of them are using sex to try and find the love and belonging that they don't get at home of course, not all, but i'd bet the majority. just my own idea.


Midwifery student , Mama to my 4 amazing kids. treehugger.gif

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#64 of 65 Old 09-13-2005, 08:55 PM
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You know, in a quick defense of this girl's "obviously neglegant" mother...

I lied to my parents about my whereabouts plenty of times, and let me tell you--unless you are THERE, you don't know what's going on. Example? I once slept over my boyfriends house while his parents were on vacation, and in order to do so I told my parents I was sleeping at my friend (from vo-tech) Dayana's house. All my parents had to do was act responsibly and I would have been caught, right? Nope.

Dayanas parents had no problem telling my dad that, yes, I was indeed sleeping over, and yes, they'd be home the whole time, and no, there would not be anyone else.

Another friends mother, whom my father had known for about 6 years (they went to each others BBQs, had coffee together, played cards all the time, etc) agreed that my parents rules were too strict and had no issues lying for me plenty of times.

I've posed as my sister's mother and lied to her friend's parents when there were DV issues involved.

Just because you speak with parents, or meet them, or even know them well, doesn't mean you can controll a determined teenager. Especially if you do not respect her from the get-go, or worse--if she does not respect herself.

the_lissa, Thanks


PS-laralou, even if your son were 100% involved, his girlfriend would most likely still shoulder more than he. She has the health risks associated with preg/birth, she may have to miss school and fail classes due to the pregnancy, she is the one who will carry the brunt of the "teenage parent" stigma, and more than likely, the child will live with her, leaving more childcare responsibilites on her. (I'm NOT saying that teen dads can't be amazing. My ds's dad was an awsome 18 y/o dad! But I still had more responisbility than him). To say that pregnancy and parenthood
is definitely as much a consequence for the boy as for the girl
is idealistic at best, naive at worst. I'm not attacking you at all, I'm sure your son would take great care of his child. But there are differences.

Kelly, mama (12yoDS), doula, RN, and writer.
There's no where you can be that isn't where you were meant to be, its easy
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#65 of 65 Old 09-14-2005, 08:15 PM
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Dov and CMM, you just rock.

I offer this perspective on the instincts topic:
We are whole, indivisible beings from the beginning of life to the end.
Logic and emotion are a piece of each other. They complement one another, if you allow them.
Instinct cannot "control" you, Instinct is you.
Understanding and cherishing our animal selves allows us to really think about our feelings and make choices that are wise and satisfying. I say, teach your child to bring his/her whole self to sexual experience! Honor them and their ability to choose what that means for them, and they will do likewise.
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