Is it wrong to tell my 15 y/o dd she can't have a boyfriend - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 77 Old 11-09-2005, 06:10 PM - Thread Starter
 
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First of all - she's still very young emotionally. Very sensitive and I just don't think mentally she's prepared although she will tell you totally different.

The rule always was - no boyfriends until you are 16. The thing is - she has one. Although she doesn't see him much because he can't come around, we know she sees him at school. Probably too on the weekends when she is hanging out with "the girls", yeah right.

We can't hold her prisoner in the house so what do we do? Are we being to ridiculous in this day and age to set this rule. Or - should she be obeying our rules and should we be setting some stronger guidelines applying to this rule.

It's more dh than me. I wouldn't support her being sexually active at this age but the idea of her being intimate at this young age makes him quite angry. He's quite adamant that she is too young for any type of romance, sexual or not.

Your honesty in this matter is what I'm looking for. Don't worry about being too soft on me. If you think it, than say it and I appreciate anyone who gives me some insight.
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#2 of 77 Old 11-09-2005, 06:24 PM
 
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Okay- you asked for honesty. I personally have a real problem with the idea of not being allowed to date until X age. I dated young and it didn't ruin me and I turned out a much better balanced person than I would have been otherwise. Biologically humans are ready to pair up in teenage. Historically they have. It makes very little sense to FORBID something that is genetically programmed, ya know?

My advice is to talk to your daughter, let her know your thoughts and WHY you believe what you believe (and personally I don't have any patience with the whole daddies overprotective of their little girls crap...) and trust her to make good choices.

Growing up I never had any hard-and-fast rules (no dating until X age, set curfew etc) and that meant that I talked to my parents a lot more about what was going on than I would have otherwise.

-Angela
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#3 of 77 Old 11-09-2005, 06:30 PM
 
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First of all, I don't believe that you can dictate when a person is "allowed" to have a friend, whether that friend be male of female, platonic or not. What you can do, though, is set standards and stick to them. If there's any way you can prevent your daughter from becoming sexually involved with her boyfriend, it would certainly be to everyone's advantage.

My ds is 15 as well, and just broke up with his girlfriend because she "wanted more" than he could give her. They talked on the phone for hours, saw each other at school, and once in a while on group outings. (Her parents did not allow her to date unless it was a group activity.) My son's school doles out so much homework that once his baseball practice and conditioning activities are done, he has neither time nor energy to do anything social. It's unfortunate, but since the school refuses to change their policies because of my requests, we just have to live with it.

Since our ds got along well with his girlfriend's family, and we were happy with his choice, the break-up was very sad for all of us. I guess that's just part of life, though. Maybe I'm getting off the subject. I feel that you need to make it very clear what is acceptable behavior and what is not, then trust your daughter to make wise choices.
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#4 of 77 Old 11-09-2005, 06:35 PM
 
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I told my teenage dd that she could not go on unchaperoned dates, but I really don't think it's realistic to think that a teenager will listen to "you are not allowed to have a boy/girlfriend." She has her current love interest over to the house, but not up in her room.

Good luck with this dating thing, it's not easy is it?
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#5 of 77 Old 11-09-2005, 06:36 PM
 
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"Forbidden fruit" is all that much more desirable. Like you wrote in your OP, she does have a boyfriend. If they choose to have sex, they will do so, with or without parental approval. My now 18-year old daughter asked me for birth control at age 16. She had been in an on-again, off-again relationship with the same boy since 8th grade. I was very concerned, very worried, and very much against the relationship, much less the sex! I had to really work to be calm and reasonable and to make sure she felt safe talking to me about it.

She is still with that same boy, they've been sexually active for 2 years and she is still healthy, strong, and they are both enrolled in different colleges, 4 hours drive apart.

I think, with teens and pre-teens, they need to feel trusted and to feel they are free to make their own decisions (and mistakes). It's the hardest job we have as parents to let them. I feel your pain ....
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#6 of 77 Old 11-09-2005, 06:39 PM
 
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This is very tricky. I had boyfriends in high school and my parents had no idea. They were actually worried I was a lesbian.

Why didn't they know about the boyfriends? Because my dad was mentally ill and that kind of information would have sent him over the deep end. I did what I had to do to protect myself from physical and emotional abuse at home.

Now I was a very good kid. Straight As. Lots of school activities. Part-time job. Basically I was one of those goody-goody over-achievers that everybody hates.

The extent of my dating experience in high school was seeing movies, hanging out at the local diner eating french fries, and a few very innocent brief kisses. But I couldn't even let my dad know about that. So I had to keep it a secret. And since my mom would have felt obligated to tell my dad, I had to keep it a secret from her as well. Now nothing ever happend that I needed to be able to talk to my parents, but what if it had? I wish I could have let them into my life. I wasn't doing anything wrong. I wasn't forbidden to date. I just knew that I couldn't tell them that I was.

And just to prove that I was right about having to keep secrets, I was never able to convince my sister that she had to keep my parents out of certain things in her life. My dad found out my sister was dating someone fairly seriously and my mom finally had no choice but to move out. The irrational wrath directed at my sister was unbelievable.

I'm not saying your home life is anything like mine was. I'm just saying that you have to find a happy medium here. Its so important for kids to be able to share with their parents. The truth is you can't stop your daughter from dating. So why not set reasonable parameters. Things like letting you know where she is going to be, who she is going to be with. Making sure socializing doesn't interfere with academics. Wouldn't it be better if you got to meet your daughter's friends, male or female? Have them around the house. Get a sense of who she is spending her time with when you can't be watching her 24/7.

Mom to Kira March 2009
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#7 of 77 Old 11-09-2005, 06:52 PM
 
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My father died when I was 11 so I can't comment about your husband's attitute.

But

My mother was fanatical about not allowing us to date when we were teens. She once caught me TALKING to a boy when I was 15 and told me I was grounded till I was 18. (She really only grounded me for a couple of weeks). Needless to say, we simply learned not to tell her anything. My sister got pregnant at 16 without my mother having any idea she'd ever had a boyfriend.
Forbidding something as normal and natural as teen dating will backfire on you big time, believe me.
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#8 of 77 Old 11-09-2005, 07:01 PM
 
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I agree that you should try to be more open and honest with yuor daughter. Invite the boy to your home and get to know him. Let your daughter know that you want to be involved on her life but that you know that you cannot make decisions for her. Discuss sex and relationships and birth control and responsibility and self esteem with her and tell her that you trust her to make "good" decisions. Let her know that she can always come to you if she needs help and advice, and even if she has made "bad" decisions.

My parents tried to forbid me from seeing a boy when I was 15 and that just made me more defiant, and I would sneak around to see him.
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#9 of 77 Old 11-09-2005, 07:15 PM
 
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Yes, it is wrong to tell a 15 year old girl that she can't have a boyfriend.

You already can see that it isn't working; you said yourself that she has one.

So what are you telling her?

***I don't think you are smart enough to handle yourself or make good choices.
***I don't trust you.
***Sex is bad.

Teenagers have hormones. They fall in "love". They get their heart broken and break a few too. It is life. It is actually a very fun part of life, one I remember very, very fondly. I would not try to "save" my daughters from it.

You asked for our honest opinions....
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#10 of 77 Old 11-09-2005, 07:29 PM
 
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Supervision not forbidding.

When you supervise you can help her through the bumps. The hard part is that you are going to have to let your girl get hurt. I know that sucks but this is part of growing up.
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#11 of 77 Old 11-09-2005, 07:30 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Kirsten
Yes, it is wrong to tell a 15 year old girl that she can't have a boyfriend.

You already can see that it isn't working; you said yourself that she has one.

So what are you telling her?

***I don't think you are smart enough to handle yourself or make good choices.
***I don't trust you.
***Sex is bad.

Teenagers have hormones. They fall in "love". They get their heart broken and break a few too. It is life. It is actually a very fun part of life, one I remember very, very fondly. I would not try to "save" my daughters from it.

You asked for our honest opinions....

I agree completely. My parents forbid me from even TALKING to boys on the phone, and told me I was never to have sex before marriage, ext. They also told me I could not go to my friend's houses because they were "worldly" and I could not go to dances, group dates, ext. They were like this my whole life.

Here's what happened: I ended up with social and sexually identity problems, and I had trouble even looking boys in the eye until tenth grade, when I discovered alcolhol, cigarettes, drugs, rock n roll, and SEX. Because I couldn't share anything that I was feeling with parents without fear of being judged and told I was too immature, I withdrew from them and simply did whatever I pleased and hid it from them. I ended up pregnant at 17 after I dropped out of high school. My parents responded by crying and throwing me out of the house, and hiding my pregnancy from family and friends.

To make a long story short, my parents and I mended our broken relationship shortly before my father died, and I went on to have one more child at 21. But, I believe a lot of my problems could have been avoided had my parents simply been reasonable with me, instead of shutting out normal teenage happenings. My mother was and still is a loving grandmother, but I recieved so much judgment from her, and from some of her friends, some who didn't even want me around their kids! All in all, I believe it is so much better to be open and non-judgmental with your teens. It really works better that way, and I know my life and my emotional health would have been better had I been raised that way.

Bethany, crunchy Christian mom to Destiny (11) Deanna (9), and Ethan (2)

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#12 of 77 Old 11-10-2005, 12:25 AM
 
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I think the fact that your dh gets angry at the thought of your daughter having a romance is your dh's problem, but he's making it your daughter's problem.

Not letting teens date doesn't work. I had one friend in high school who "wasn't allowed' to date. She used to cut class and have sex in her boyfriend's van. Her parents had no idea, and didn't like her hanging out with some of the "sluts" she associated with...the ones with boyfriends.

It's crazy to think you can dictate what your daughter's emotional state is, and you can't control who her friends are.

I started dating my ex-husband when he was 15 and I was 16. It ended very badly (he became addicted to cocaine...crack), but we were together for 15 years. I know two happily married women who met their husbands in high school, as well...one was 16, one was 14. What makes 16 the magic age?

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#13 of 77 Old 11-10-2005, 01:16 AM
 
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Whether it is right or wrong, it is entirely ineffective and hopeless to even try so why bother.
My daughter is not allowed to go on car dates alone with boys.
But unless I was willing to keep her in the house at all times and sendher to an all girls school there is no way I could prevent her from having a "boyfriend". Not even in 5th grade. Kids who only see each other at school and eat lunch together sometimes call each other boyfriend/girlfriend.
The idea of her being romantically involved might freak you out a bit (and it does me too) but the fact is that only she will decide when she is ready. And there is nothing you can do or not do to change that.
And what you cannot change, the only thing to do is to accept.
Good luck
Joline
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#14 of 77 Old 11-10-2005, 10:48 AM
 
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Even though I am against telling a 15 year old that she can't have a boyfriend, I wanted to add that I don't think growing up in an evironment in which a dating age is set will automatically create a teen rebel. I grew up in a very strict Mormon household and I was not allowed to date before I turned 16. On my 16th birthday, a boy who I had a crush on came over and asked me out that very day. I knew I would never have premarital sex, as that was my decision (though now I realize I was coerced by my religion to feel that way). I never rebelled as a teen, I waited until I was 30, lol! But I was a virgin on my wedding day. So, in my case, the forbidden fruit stayed forbidden and I was fine with that.
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#15 of 77 Old 11-10-2005, 11:22 AM
 
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I wasn't allowed to date until I was 16 either. It was so pointless. I just did what I wanted anyway and just didn't tell my parents However, I was sexually active long before that, too (and I don't regret it one bit!) How many other 15 yr olds are you around besides your daughter that leads you to believe she is so immature? How else is your daughter going to learn about how to navigate through a romantic relationship without some exsperience? Would you rather she hides any problems from you or is open with you?

To tell you the truth, I think this was the biggest mistake my parents made with me and even though I really was a good kid, I have never really told them my choices or asked for advise since I was a young teen until after I have done something. For me, my parents gave me lotsof freedom and trusted me as a child but as soon as I hit Jr High, they took that all away. I'm not saying this is what happened here, just what I felt.

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#16 of 77 Old 11-10-2005, 11:36 AM
 
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I can all too easily relate. I wasn't supose to date until I was 16, but my parents were pretty lenient in that they meant at 16 I could go on alone dates. They knew I had several boyfriends before that and always made it a point to get to know them. When ever I saw them out of school it was always with a group of people or at school dances. The first thing I did though when I turned 16 is date a guy that was 21. I think you need to define what dating is to you cause chances are she has at some point had a boyfriend, maybe just not by your standards.
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#17 of 77 Old 11-10-2005, 11:44 AM
 
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DD is only 10yo but I still think about her dating. We haven't set an age limit and I doubt we will. My goal in talking to her about boys is to emphasize how strong and smart she is. That she should always expect to be treated respectfully, treat other respectfully. We've always been pretty open about our bodies around the house too. Everyone still sees me nursing the toddler, who also sleeps with us.

So I'm most concerned about healthy body images because I am hoping that is what will translate into healthy dating realities. I know that hearts still will bend and change over time. Thats how we learned and how they will learn.

Heres hoping the information-is-power and strong-smart-girls-will-be-fine approach works.
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#18 of 77 Old 11-10-2005, 11:49 AM
 
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Hi, I just wanted to say I am going through what you are right now. My dd is 15 also. She tells me she has a boyfriend, and I let her have one. My advice is let her have her boyfriend, let him call your house. But if they want to go out, you take them, and chaperon. Like to the movies etc. She will be mad but she'll get over it cause she will get to see him. Now, if she says shes going to friends for the weekend or overnite, talk to the other parents and see what their parenting rules are and if they are going to be home with the girls. It really does work, so far so good for me as far as that goes. Hope it will work for you. Good luck mama!

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#19 of 77 Old 11-10-2005, 04:33 PM
 
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Our dating age for our children is 16. Our oldest DS is 15. He's had a few girlfriends here and there throughout the past few years, but he never dated them, as in going places with them. He only saw them at school, and occasionally they would call him. He nevered called them. This year he is in 10th grade, and he does have 1 girl he likes, but I have told he cannot date, and if I find out that he gets in the car with her alone (she is 16, junior) to go to lunch (open campus, unfortunately), then I was restrict him to staying at the school (how, I don't know, but I will...LOL!) to eat lunch. His cousin is at the same school (junior too) and swears to me, and so does DS, that they aren't boy/girlfriend, but just really good friends. But they call each other all the time. I know he doesn't go anywhere with her after school as he comes home on the bus, and he doesn't go anywhere. He did go to her church the other night for a hayride, and when I went to pick him up, she was awfully close to him snuggling. I was a little PO'd, but hey, he's 15, and I had boyfriends at 15, with 15 yr old boys! So, I guess I shouldn't be so harsh, but I will keep the 16 dating rule.
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#20 of 77 Old 11-11-2005, 05:30 PM
 
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I agree with the "forbidden fruit is all the sweeter" mentality. I don't think you can forbid her having a boyfriend, but you can set limits on things such as car dates, one-on-one dates, etc.

I also agree that your DH being angry about it is somewhat normal, but still HIS problem.
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#21 of 77 Old 11-28-2005, 11:38 AM
 
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My son has just turned 16 and he has his first serious girlfriend...They are so in love... I love to hear them talk on the phone..This was very hard for me as he is my only child...I was used to being his sun,his moon and his star...And he was mine..Our lives revolved around each other...

No so anymore...

I tried to tighten the reins and he rebelled seriously...I have learned to loosen the reigns...At 15 your child can and will have emotions very real to them and they will act on them...The only thing you can do is supervise,talk and support..I would let her have her boyfriend...Respect her "feelings" as real emotions....But I would also do this(and I have)...

Have a good talk about sex,diseases and babies...And most important protection...Those teens are going to have sex whether you want them to or not...And I for one prefer not to be a grandma at age 34...I told my boy that if he ever needed condoms he better ask because asking for those is defintily easier then telling two sets of parents you are pregnant and then have to figure out what to do with a baby..

My son and his girlfriend are still chaperoned by either me or her mother...I take them to the movies(of course they sit two rows ahead of me but hey I can still see them.. ) and to Super Walmart.ect....They go to each others houses on the weekends...

And good Lord almighty they talk for hours on the phone every day...I can just pick him up and walk in the door with him from her house and he immedietly goes for the phone...I did have to get a little strict so people could get through to me or I needed the phone..


But my point is give in on the stuff you can control without the rebellion...I don't want my son sneaking out so I say yes to as much as I can without compromising what I know is truely wrong....


Right now he is happy(and in love )...
I am happy and she is truely a sweet girl...I like her...


Good luck....Letting go is one of the hardest things we as parents have to do...
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#22 of 77 Old 11-28-2005, 11:55 AM
 
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The rule in my house was no DATING until sixteen. Now, mind you, I had my first "boyfriend" in FIFTH grade but honestly, I don't even think we exchanged phone numbers at that age. It was just something you told everyone. But I was "allowed" to have boyfriends, I just couldn't go out on "dates".
So by 15, I had had many "boyfriends", and had kissed a few as well I was actually sneaking out at night to see them, just about every night actually, and became rather tired in school. I'm not trying to scare you - there were other factors, such as my parents divorcing and me pinning them against eachother. But if they had let me at least go to the movies with a boyfriend or something, I may not have stooped to sneaking out who knows.
They were just worried that I should be able to drive myself to dates so that I would have the upper hand on some grabby young man Well, I was pg by 19. Maybe I am not a good example? Still, I remain the most intelligent of all my friends even though I was the only teenage mother among the closest of us.... but we all make mistakes, I suppose. Not sure my point here.
I am afraid I am validating your reasons for the rule, when I am really trying help you slacken them a bit.

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#23 of 77 Old 11-28-2005, 12:35 PM
 
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The reality is she has one. No amount of saying no changes that, right?

Maybe you would feel better with some guidelines in place? That if he comes over you are home, that you prefer group dates (lol) , that you would at least like to chat with his parents on the phone to see how they feel about a girlfriend at their place if there aren't any adults home.

I suppose all i just wrote sounds old-fashioned , but maybe there is a middle ground where she can have a boyfriend without sneaking around, and you can have a little peace-of-mind help you feel she's safe.

Have a talk with her and discuss all of this. It's OK to say you're nervous, but you know she's growing up. Ask her if there are some guidelines you can agree upon that respects all of you?
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#24 of 77 Old 11-28-2005, 02:59 PM
 
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I cannot reply from the mom's point of view,since my oldest is only 2 [3 in DEC.!]. But I grew up very close to my nieces and nephews who are all either 3 years older,or 2-3 years younger than me. And I was/still am the chaperone on most all of their dates. The kids don't want their mom[s] going,so they call the cool aunt [me] to tag along. I keep to the mom's rules [no sex,minimal body contact,only pre-approved movies,etc.],so it works out well ofr us. They'd rather be seen in public with me [since we're close in age and styles], than with their own mothers [who can be smothering]. [They even babysit for me for free while I do this for them!]
The basic rules are simple:
*NO SEX
*No Privacy [which means that if one goes to the bathroom,me and the date wait outside]
*I was always discreet about being the chaperone,if anyone asked,I'm the purse holder

But when it came/comes to the sex talk,that kind of thing was NEVER held with the parents [b/c they all REFUSED to do it!],so I handled that too. I explained to all of them [boys & girls] how important safety and protection is [b/c wether you like it or not,they're gonna do it],and then I had a talk with their boy/girlfriend,and explained it all to them [so we're all on the same page]. Some people might be mad/insulted by that sort of thing,but actually most all of the parents were delighted that I'd handled the hard stuff myself, since they didn't know how,or just weren't going to do it. I even went as far as to hand out condoms,I took all my nieces in to Planned Parenthood for birth control once they turned 16,and even helped one niece through an abortion [since she didn't listen to me to start with].
My point is,they're going to date,and have sex no matter what you say or do,but if you allow somethings [like group dating,or a trusted relative to chaperone],and stand firm on others [if you start having sex you NEED to tell me so I can help you stay safe],then things should go smoother for the both of you.
I don't blame you for wanting to protect your baby girl,that's what any good mom would want to do. But she's got to grow up sometime,and if you use this opportunity as a learning experience instead of a death sentence,then I think things should work out for the best for everyone.
I wish you all the best!
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#25 of 77 Old 11-28-2005, 03:04 PM
 
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I married the boy I started dating at 14.... :

The one thing I have to say is, please don't set your daughter up for a lifetime of guilty sexual feelings by making her think that dating/romance/sex is weird/dirty/bad. Those are very hard feelings to overcome. Keep the lines of communication open with her.
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#26 of 77 Old 11-28-2005, 03:42 PM
 
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Couple of thoughts (coming from someone who has in the last decade been 15/16, not from a mom's perspective):

1) Forbidden fruit and teenage rebellion: no, not everyone will rebel when given strict rules, but a lot more will. Nor is not-caring-permissiveness the answer either: some kids will rebel against that. : But in my experience, the parents who dictated and punished were much more likely to have kids who lied and snuck out than the parents who talked and guided.

2) What is a "boyfriend"? Honestly, I get freaked out by the pressure and black-and-whiteness implied by "no boyfriend." What about boys who are friends (please tell me your daughter has some!)? What about boys who might be more than friends, what about the chance to discover for herself how to negociate those boundries? From all I've seen, both in highschool and in adulthood, the relationships that are "Boyfriend/girlfriend/romantic" right from the beginning don't last as long or go as well as the ones that grew organically out of being friends and enjoying the other person's company. How is a girl supposed to discover that if she knows there's this Thing called a Boyfriend that she can't yet have (and therefore wants)?

3) Supervised dates: this is an interesting area. Do you supervise all your child's social interactions? If so, or if you're around for most of them, then supervising her dates makes sense. That is, if you regularly have her friends over, why not have this boy who is her friend and might be her boyfriend over? Invite her and a friend or two of her choice out to the movies - it doesn't have to be "Oh, you want to go out? Well, you're going to take your dad with you!" It can be organic, and natural, and relaxed. I do think friends make decent chaperones, also. That is, she doesn't have to go on "group dates" (good lord, the pressure!), but she can go out with a group of friends, maybe including her romantic interest.

I think a lot of teenage problems (and I've thought this since I was a teen) come from the pressure to have the "right labels" - the Right Brand Name, the Right Car, the Right Clique, the Right Nickname, and the Right Relationship Status. I'd hope that more parents would guide their kids out of that whole mess - help them think for themselves. This goes for relationships, too. Teenagers don't have to have "boyfriends" - they can have boys they're friends with and are exploring romantic feelings with. It takes soooooo much of the pressure off to not have to Decide or Declare your relationship status because depending on the answer it might or might not be "allowed". Give her the space to figure it out, to live in that grey area, to be a part-child, part-adult, instead of a Teen. That's not going to happen if you're dictating ages and rules and words, but it might happen if you're listening to her and talking with her and gently guiding her.
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#27 of 77 Old 11-28-2005, 05:12 PM
 
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Hi Everyone,

I am coming at this from a completely different perspective(as the mother of three adults) but what is the problem about stating that the rule in your house is no dating until 16?
Is it because the teens are going to break the rule anyway? For me, that reason is not good enough.
We had(and still have-the youngest ds is 13) rules in our home when it came to our young teenagers. And some of those rules were broken from time to time, and there were consequences that occurred because of it.
We set up boundaries and established rules in our family with our teens in the same way we set them up with them as young children and now as adults, we included them in the decision-making process.
We would share with them the reasons behind our choices for the rules, and they would tell us why they felt that they were good or bad. And they also helped us establish what the consequences would be if the rules were broken(many times, we had to lessen their suggested consequences!).
Because our boundaries and rules were set with inclusion of their ideals and consideration of their feelings, there was far less rebellion by our teens than we saw with many of their peers. And we have been thanked many times by our teens for having rules that they could use as an excuse to get out of many situations and suggestions made by their friends.
For us, setting rules for our family is also about learning and growing up in a home that helps to prepare them to live in a community where there will be many rules that have to be followed.
And as a parent, I knew that there would be(and were)times when I had to be the one to take the lead in keeping them safe. Even if it meant that I was resented at the time.
Oh and one more thing, for us, having rules did not replace active listening and conversation with our teens. Most of the rules and boundaries evolved and changed quite quickly as they grew and matured because we knew them through our many conversations and could feel confident in the choices that they made on their own.

Take Care,
Erika :
"Do not follow where the path may lead. Go instead where there is no path and leave a trail..."
"Knowledge without compassion is useless"-SCW
"I am learning all the time, the tombstone will be my diploma"- Eartha Kitt

"Do not follow where the path may lead. Go instead where there is no path and leave a trail..."
"I am learning all the time, the tombstone will be my diploma"- Eartha Kitt
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#28 of 77 Old 11-28-2005, 07:00 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by ErikaDP
Hi Everyone,

I am coming at this from a completely different perspective(as the mother of three adults) but what is the problem about stating that the rule in your house is no dating until 16?
Is it because the teens are going to break the rule anyway? For me, that reason is not good enough.
My parents had that rule. I never broke it. But I also felt it was unreasonable and controling, and that they obviously didn't trust me. So I would never have come to them with a problem, if I had a problem. I still shut them out of my life because they have this controling attitute and don't trust me.

Single mom of 2 boys
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#29 of 77 Old 11-28-2005, 07:20 PM
 
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#30 of 77 Old 11-28-2005, 07:43 PM
 
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I met a LOVE OF MY LIFE when I was 15.

A common story - parents were against it, nobody to talk to, we were getting super resourceful in hiding and lying

We actually waited almost 2 years before having sex (whoo-hoo ), so at "mature" 16.5 I got pregnant. With our son Who is now 18.

I am so glad, I found the way to go around completely unnecessary rule(s), just wish I had somebody to talk to. May be I would have waited on having a child that early.

We are going to celebrate our 19th anniversary shortly.

Teenagers *do* fall in love (without parenthesis) and it can be that one true love that I was blessed with.

I dread to think what would have happened to me if I did not rebel and just let this blessing go away.

I look at my girlfriends who in their 30th, struggling to find a soul mate (no judjement intended, just an observation), going through the upteenth date and am again thankful for finding mine at the ripe age of 15.
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