My son took his first drink at 19 - Page 2 - Mothering Forums

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#31 of 35 Old 04-18-2006, 12:14 PM
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I'm 15, and amoung my year mates, I know 2 people other than myself who don't drink, everyone else I know I expect have been drunk at least once. Also the amount of stories I've heard of people my age (10th grade) getting paraletically drunk, throwing up, passing out etc would surprise you. And this is in a posh part of England at a good school.
I'm sorry but you're lucky he waited until 19
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#32 of 35 Old 04-18-2006, 12:35 PM
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It sounds like you have a really good relationship with your ds, since he told you about it. I hope my kids will be as open with me.

I have to agree with the pp that waiting until he is 19 is unusual. What I plan to do with my kids is to make sure that they know that they can call us at any time, day or night, if they or someone they have gone out with has been drinking. We will drive them home and won't get on their case. To me, drinking and driving is the big worry.
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#33 of 35 Old 04-19-2006, 04:29 PM
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I'm sorry, but it is illegal! If your child is doing something illegal are you really just going to say "oh, it's not that big of a deal"? No, it's not the end of the earth, yes, he's 19, yes, he told mom about it...all great, but I still wouldn't blow it off, but I wouldn't make a huge deal out of it either. I would talk to him and find out why he did it (if he even knows) and I would express concern.
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#34 of 35 Old 04-19-2006, 04:39 PM
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I agree with teaching responsible drinking. Drinking seems to be one of the issues that parents don't deal with, other than to say, "You can't drink until you're 21." Then at age 21, it's a free-for-all. I think the age 21-25 is the highest rate of DUI arrests. If parents taught their children about alcohol while they were teenagers and still at home, things would probably be different. I want my daughter to try alcohol at home and not at some party. I'd like her to see and feel the effects of alcohol on judgment and motor skills before she learns how to drive. I think it's scary that by the time kids are allowed to go out to bars, they are so comfortable with driving, that drunk driving seems doable. Remember that scared feeling you had when you first learned to drive? It's gone by the time you're 21. If you knew about drinking before learning to drive, I think more thought would go into whether you should drink and drive.

Of course, that's all based entirely on my own opinion and nothing else.
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#35 of 35 Old 04-19-2006, 06:52 PM
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LOL In 1984, 19 was the legal drinking age in Phoenix. So, I drank (legally) and got it out of my system. Th4e fun was only in sneaking it.....when it was legal, it stopped being fun.

I think kids try things to see what it is like. To assume that they will never try alchohol, sex or drugs is hiding from reality. I don't know a single human (yet) that waited til they were 21 to try beer.

What should be done is to teach our kids to be responsible. I tell my daughter that I drinking and driving, or getting in a car with someone who has been drinking is forbidden. She knows she isn't supposed to drink.....but, I always mention that I would rather pick her up from a party and drive her home than visit her in a hospital.

For the record...she is 13. Our issues right now are staying up too late and not waking up in time to get to, I can't really say how I will handle it when it becomes real.
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