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Old 01-13-2002, 03:13 AM - Thread Starter
 
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Hi there,
I am having a problem with my little sister and since I have not a clue how to raise a preteen, I need help.
FYI, in case you didn't read my intro, I am raising my ten year old sister due to my mother's illness. I have been her "mom" for her whole life. My mom is around, but basically incapable of caring for a child so.....
Sarah absolutely refuses to discuss anything puberty related. No bra talk, period talk, nothing. She is ten and a half actually, and I started menstruating at 11, so I fear she is coming close to the time but I am not sure how much she knows and whether she is prepared enough, KWIM?
I am always very open about my periods (or lack thereof), I use cloth pads which she has seen me washing and changing. She was involved in the homebirth of my daughter six months ago. So I know she isn't totally in the dark, but shouldn't we talk a little about it?
Also, she is starting to look like she may need a bra but refuses to talk about it or look at them in the store or anything. She has several friends who already use them, but still, no questions or requests for any.
She is also developing body odor and hair, but she is reluctant to discuss her hygeine methods/options, etc.
We have a pretty good relationship, and I'd like to think I am her friend. She is also homeschooled, which I, of course do, so we are definitly close.
Any suggestions?
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Old 01-13-2002, 11:41 AM
 
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She's probably horribly embarassed by these topics which is why she won't discuss them. She probably does have lots of questions though. You could buy her a book on the subject, or get one out of the library. Or you could bring up the subject when she's a captive audience, like when you're alone in the car together, but maybe that's a little unfair. She might feel ambushed. No doubt, her friends are already buzzing about who will get their period first.

You could just estimate her size and buy her a bra and give it to her as a gift (when you're alone together). Maybe she wouldn't be too upset if the bra was of a sporty style and looked more like a cropped tank top than a traditional bra.
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Old 01-13-2002, 02:47 PM
 
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The car idea might not be so bad, because my 11yo definitely pipes up more in the car (esp at night) where there is less eye contact for those awkward convos.

I got her a book and after a short awkward moment, she has talked openly about it ever since. We just had to break the ice on it, and now she is openly looking forward to her first period, and we are planning a ceremony.

Obviously everyone is different, but a good book tossed on her bed one day also just might be the trick.

Good luck. She is lucky to have you.
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Old 01-15-2002, 01:44 AM
 
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Old 01-15-2002, 09:48 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Thanks for all the info I actually just sent in the subscription for New Moon last week! I can't wait for it to get here. We are slowly making progress. I had already bought her a couple books, and just got another yesterday. I also went ahead and bought a nice sports bra and gave it to her. Tioday she told me it didn't fit, so tomorrow we will check out a different size. Decent Exposures sounds nice, I have seen their catalog. But, they are expensive, and I will need her input before I invest in something she may hate. Thanks again, Suzanne
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