teenage boys & bf'ing - Mothering Forums

Forum Jump: 
Reply
 
Thread Tools
#1 of 48 Old 01-28-2006, 08:19 PM - Thread Starter
 
aisraeltax's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2005
Location: never never land & CPP
Posts: 5,346
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
i have x-posted this in bf'ing but thought i may get more responses here....

i am pretty open about bf;ing and have nip a few times since Ethan was born (early Jan.) but i am having a delimma w/ my 15 yo and his friends. my 15 yo is fine, but he has a ton of friends over and sometimes i am not in the position to cover myself up, etc. I really don't care myself but these are my concerns and im wondering what you mamas w/ teenage friends over do while bfing. my concerns are: 1. it makes my teenage son uncomfortable if one of his friends sees my breast (i dont go out of my way for this to happen and try to prevent it); 2. i don't want any calls from other parents criticizing me for allowing their sons to see my boobs.
so, my question is, if you were in my situation, or if you have been in the past, wwyd??
tia,
rach
aisraeltax is offline  
#2 of 48 Old 01-29-2006, 11:10 PM
 
spin462002's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2005
Location: Canberra, Australia
Posts: 85
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
I personally would not feel comfortable b'fing in front of teenage boys, however discreet I may be. You could keep a scarf handy to cover yourself and the baby or just talk to your son and ask him to not hang around with his friends when you are feeding.Or you could always say generally "not now guys, you are distracting ....." and make it about the baby, not them.
Explain this tactic to your son so he is not put in an awkward position.

I would not have been comfortable knowing my son was being put into that situation at his friends house, so I am sure the other parents would appreciate your discretion too. Boys are full of testosterone, many do not have memories of siblings being breastfed, so a breast is just a breast to most of them, a sexual object. Thankfully your own son has the advantage there!

Using a simple strategy can avoid embarrassment and maintain a respectful attitude towards you.

all the best
L
spin462002 is offline  
#3 of 48 Old 01-29-2006, 11:25 PM
 
TiredX2's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2002
Location: it appears to be a handbasket
Posts: 20,475
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Hmmm, I feel a bit differently about it.

When DD was born, BIL was 17 and I happily nursed in front of him and his friends (teen guys). And you know what? He (BIL) became a vocal advocate of Bfeeding & NIP.

IMO, if we want nursing to be accepted as "normal" we need to treat it like it is. I think that, in a lot of ways, teens are more accepting than adults and if you can demonstrate the ease of nursing *now*, think of how supportive and accepting will be when it is their wife/girlfriend deciding to nurse.

 

 

TiredX2 is offline  
#4 of 48 Old 01-29-2006, 11:34 PM
 
katebleu's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2005
Location: south of the center of the universe
Posts: 995
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by TiredX2
IMO, if we want nursing to be accepted as "normal" we need to treat it like it is. I think that, in a lot of ways, teens are more accepting than adults and if you can demonstrate the ease of nursing *now*, think of how supportive and accepting will be when it is their wife/girlfriend deciding to nurse.
i totally agree.
katebleu is offline  
#5 of 48 Old 01-30-2006, 01:33 AM
 
agcj's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2005
Location: Washington
Posts: 85
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
I would try to be discreet, but I think they should be exposed to a baby being breastfed. Otherwise, all they see are Hooters and playboy. Another thought, many of these boys may have been breastfed. They may be less likely to think of breasts as only sex objects. They may not feel negatively about it. Have you thought of calling parents and letting them know your delima? Sometimes it helps to sound parents out. Maybe it is differnt with older teens, though- and boys. My daughter is a young teen. I bf infront of her friends- all girls and mostly breastfed, themselves. However, I use a wrap baby carrier often, though, so often no one really can see what I am doing.

One more thing, They might think of a 16-year-old's boobs as sex objects, but would they really think of a 30 or 40 something mother's breasts as sex objects? Doubtful! Most likely, they will just think, uggh- that old person must have had sex at least twice-uggh .
agcj is offline  
#6 of 48 Old 01-30-2006, 09:09 AM
 
LizaBear's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2003
Location: Canada
Posts: 6,131
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
I haven't really thought about it - I've nursed both of my kids in front of my teen-age BIL without comment from him or my ILs. I don't see any reason why I shouldn't.

Canadian mom to Boo (Aug '02), Bug (Aug '04) and Bear (Dec '06).
Jesse (July '09)
LizaBear is offline  
#7 of 48 Old 01-30-2006, 09:24 AM
 
JennieYoung44's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2006
Location: South Carolina
Posts: 245
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Intruiging...
I have to say, I have been bfing for 4 years now (3 boys) and nip all the time. And I am always a bit more uncomfortable around my nephews: pre-teen, and full-teenage boys. But, I do it anyway. For the reasons already mentioned. If I treat it normal, they will see it normal, and down the road, treat it normal themselves. I do be extra discreet around them though. If I'm going to nurse and they are in the room I simply say, I'm going to nurse the baby now. That way, they can leave if they want.
But I also have to say in general, there are some people I just don't nurse around because of sexual-comfort issues.

Jennie Young

JennieYoung44 is offline  
#8 of 48 Old 01-30-2006, 09:35 AM
 
spin462002's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2005
Location: Canberra, Australia
Posts: 85
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
I think if you read the original post you will see what the issue is. This teenage boy is embarrassed and feels awkward when his friends see his mother's breasts.
Breastfeeding should never be an issue with siblings or close family members. (which it isn't with this boy) It is natural and healthy and the best for the baby. No one has suggested this is not the case.

As an older mom, with a 25 year old married son, I can assure you ladies that teenage boys are full of testosterone and they don't care how old the woman behind the breast is! If you are still having babies, you are young enough to have interesting breasts! I am certainly not talking about siblings or close family members! I am referring to the situation above. Covering yourself while feeding to preserve your modesty and avoid anyone being embarrased is still setting a good example of mothering and caring for your baby. (and your big boy too)

As for breastfeeding in front of girls, that is oh so different. Girls are not usually sexually stimulated by the sight of a breastfeeding baby. Their brains are not usually wired that way. They are usually curious and interested and eager to see what happens and that's the way it should be. I remember following my aunt's when they went into the bedroom to feed their babies (it was the 60's and I was around 5/6) and watching with great interest and fascination. I thought it was the most beautiful thing I had ever seen, and I still do!

I extensively breastfed my four children, the younger two until they were five years old. My son was the eldest and was 13 when his youngest sister was born. He accepted breastfeeding as the norm and has been a great encouragement to his wife in the last four years, especially in the challenging early days with their first baby. Their children are 4 and 1 now, the younger one still breastfeeding although mom works full time and dad is at home with the children now.

If you have a close relationship with a teenage boy, of course feed in front of him. If your son is embarrased when his friends are around, maybe you need to consider his feelings and modify your behaviour. The baby gets fed either way, which is not negotiable of course!

Lynn
spin462002 is offline  
#9 of 48 Old 01-30-2006, 04:57 PM
 
agcj's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2005
Location: Washington
Posts: 85
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
I misread the post then. Of course the boy is embarrassed- I thought mama felt uncomfortalbe. Kids that age often feel embarrassed of their parents. I don't have a son that age, so I don't know about attraction to older women- maybe so.
agcj is offline  
#10 of 48 Old 01-30-2006, 05:10 PM
 
katebleu's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2005
Location: south of the center of the universe
Posts: 995
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by agcj
I misread the post then. Of course the boy is embarrassed- I thought mama felt uncomfortalbe. Kids that age often feel embarrassed of their parents. I don't have a son that age, so I don't know about attraction to older women- maybe so.
i misread the OP too. but i also agree that at 15 mom causing embarrassment is going to happen even without bf-ing. mom just having a baby at all is pointing out in an uncomfortable way that parents have sex. that's embarrassing.

i would have a frank talk with my son about bf-ing, the advantages. find out ways that both mom and teen can feel more comfortable.
katebleu is offline  
#11 of 48 Old 01-30-2006, 05:26 PM
 
agcj's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2005
Location: Washington
Posts: 85
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
I just thought of something although I do not know if it would work for you, but Have you thought of using a baby carrier for nursing (if it works for you). It would not always work because sometimes you are nursing when the boys walk in, but I use a wrap baby carrier, and I nurse at stores, at Disney world, while walking, all sorts of things, and NOBODY KNOWS WHAT i AM DOING. We nurse in the wrap and people actually walk up and ask to see my sleeping baby (sometimes they start to reach for the material). When I tell them he is nursing, they pull back very quickly and are surprised! Here is a picture. You can get instructions for nursing in a wrap carrier and for making your own out of homespun, cotton crinkle gauze or hemp/cotton jersey from http://www.wearyourbaby.com (http://www.mamatoto.org)
http://i19.photobucket.com/albums/b1...398_edited.jpg

It takes some learning, but it is very worth it.
Good luck
agcj is offline  
#12 of 48 Old 01-30-2006, 06:16 PM
 
Ruthla's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2004
Location: Long Island, NY
Posts: 47,599
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 3 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by TiredX2
IMO, if we want nursing to be accepted as "normal" we need to treat it like it is. I think that, in a lot of ways, teens are more accepting than adults and if you can demonstrate the ease of nursing *now*, think of how supportive and accepting will be when it is their wife/girlfriend deciding to nurse.
ITA!!!!

Nobody is "wired" to think of breasts sexually- it's learned. Yes, men are "wired" to be more visually stimulated than women are, which IMO makes it even more important for them to view BF as "normal" and "non sexual."

Quote:
Originally Posted by spin462002
I would not have been comfortable knowing my son was being put into that situation at his friends house, so I am sure the other parents would appreciate your discretion too. Boys are full of testosterone, many do not have memories of siblings being breastfed, so a breast is just a breast to most of them, a sexual object. Thankfully your own son has the advantage there!
I'm saddened that you think this way- that the OP's DS' friends are "being put into that situation." There's nothing shameful about nursing a baby, no matter who's in the room!

Ruth, single mommy to Leah, 19, Hannah, 18, and Jack, 12
Ruthla is offline  
#13 of 48 Old 01-30-2006, 06:31 PM
 
lilyka's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2001
Location: Sioux Falls, SD
Posts: 18,301
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 1 Post(s)
I was a youth pastor when I had my second child. Almost all my kids were boys. I felt it important to use discresion. both for thier sake and for mine (I so didn't want calls from parents.) I would nurse openly in front ofthe girls no problems but made sure to be as discreet as possible around the boys.

if you knew ds would be bringing a crew home i would just have a blanket handy for quick cover before you sat down to nurse. for example if you are sitting down right before he usually walks in.

at the same tim I wouldn't worry about it too much unless someone complained.

The truest answer to violence is love. The truest answer to death is life. The only prevention for violence is for the heart to have no violence within it.  We cannot prevent evil through any system devised by mankind. But we can grapple with evil and defeat it, but only with love—real love.

lilyka is offline  
#14 of 48 Old 01-30-2006, 06:58 PM
 
Mallory's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2002
Location: Wesley, AR
Posts: 2,576
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
The kids in my family are 27, 26, 13, 10. So when #3 was born my brother and I were 13 and 14 and when #4 was born my brother and I were 16 and 17.

We had friends over all the time, and while my mom wasn't especially blatant about it, she also didn't hide in the bedroom or under a blanket.

When my kids were born, my BIL and SIL were teens and I didn't cover up around them (we even lived with them for a while).

I think it is important not to make a big deal about it. I know lots of women use a blanket to cover up, but I am never going to and if I only did around teenage boys then I would think that would be making a big deal about it.

I hope that if my boys ever see an infant sitting in thier moms lap eating it is from her breasts, I would be much sadder if they were in a situation where a baby was only fed formula.
Mallory is offline  
#15 of 48 Old 01-30-2006, 09:33 PM - Thread Starter
 
aisraeltax's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2005
Location: never never land & CPP
Posts: 5,346
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
i have tried bf'ing in a wrap but havent mastered it yet.
aisraeltax is offline  
#16 of 48 Old 01-31-2006, 02:58 AM
 
agcj's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2005
Location: Washington
Posts: 85
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
It takes time to learn how to use one. It took me a while before wrapping felt not frustrating. I practiced with a stuffed animal, at first. I just wanted to let you know about it just in case because the wrap is what I use when I am in a situation where I don't know how people will react to breastfeeding. Of course, I also use it so I can eat during baby's growth spurts. I did not discover it until my 3rd baby, and it has changed my bf life. Where are you? Your state might have a babywearing group with meetings that can help.
Here in Washington, we have a big one. Feel free to pm me.
Hugs
agcj is offline  
#17 of 48 Old 01-31-2006, 03:07 AM
 
mothragirl's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2005
Location: neverland
Posts: 3,332
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
if they get too nervous around you just squirt them with breastmilk, that always breaks the tension
(j/k)

i would take this as an excellent opportunity to educate them about the real purpose of breasts.
mothragirl is offline  
#18 of 48 Old 01-31-2006, 04:05 AM
 
ErikaDP's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2003
Location: Ct-but my heart is in Seattle!
Posts: 1,825
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by TiredX2
Hmmm, I feel a bit differently about it.

When DD was born, BIL was 17 and I happily nursed in front of him and his friends (teen guys). And you know what? He (BIL) became a vocal advocate of Bfeeding & NIP.

IMO, if we want nursing to be accepted as "normal" we need to treat it like it is. I think that, in a lot of ways, teens are more accepting than adults and if you can demonstrate the ease of nursing *now*, think of how supportive and accepting will be when it is their wife/girlfriend deciding to nurse.
I completely agree with you too TiredX2.
And I have a story to tell that is a little OT but relevant.
I was in the car with my 20 year DS. We were listening to a radio program where two guests were talking about the war in Iraq and how there are mothers of young infants in Iraq while their babies are left behind with relatives.
One of the guests said that some of the babies were as young as 4 months old but that their mothers had made a commitment and that he thought that it should be honored. The other guest argued that to separate a young infant from it's mother was very wrong.
At that point my son reached over and turned off the radio. He was very upset. I asked him what was bothering him and he said that the radio station had gone too far. He said that there couldn't possibly mothers of young infants in Iraq. He said that the war was wrong, but the way to change things there is through telling the truth about it. Not by making up terrible stories. I told him of course there were mothers leaving young babies stateside, in fact that there are some families where both parents are in Iraq.
He looked so confused. And then he said again that there couldn't be mothers with young babies in Iraq because the young babies would starve without their mother's milk.
I looked at him stunned. And then I told him that there are companies that make baby formula for infants who's mothers can't breastfeed. At first, his face was filled with disbelief. And then he was amazed by that fact.
And that's when it dawned on me, he had never seen a young baby in real life being bottle fed. It just wasn't in his collected experience. Not by his friends mothers, not any of my friends, not any of our family. For him, breastfeeding was the only option!
Isn't that great? I was so proud of the way he feels about breastfeeding!
It affirmed for me that we can raise sons as well as daughters to see breastfeeding as the norm!

Take Care,
Erika :
"Do not follow where the path may lead. Go instead where there is no path and leave a trail..."
"Knowledge without compassion is useless"-SCW
"I am learning all the time, the tombstone will be my diploma"- Eartha Kitt

"Do not follow where the path may lead. Go instead where there is no path and leave a trail..."
"I am learning all the time, the tombstone will be my diploma"- Eartha Kitt
ErikaDP is offline  
#19 of 48 Old 01-31-2006, 04:51 AM
 
agcj's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2005
Location: Washington
Posts: 85
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
ErickaDP What a wonderful story.
agcj is offline  
#20 of 48 Old 01-31-2006, 06:25 PM
 
Chicky2's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2002
Location: North Texas
Posts: 2,871
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by Ruthla
Nobody is "wired" to think of breasts sexually- it's learned.

Recently I watched a documentary on Showtime (wish I could remember the name!) about breasts. It had a whole section about the fact that the U.S. is one of the VERY few societies in this world who look at breasts as a sexual 'fun toy'. Just thought I'd throw that in.

I will nurse my babies anywhere, in front of anyone, at any time. I hope the world sees and learns!

Happy Homesteading Homeschooling Homebirthing Beekeeping Dready (& a bit redneck even) Mama to 4 fab kids :  dd (23), dd (13), ds (11), dd (5)

Chicky2 is offline  
#21 of 48 Old 01-31-2006, 09:15 PM
 
orangefoot's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2004
Location: Oxfordshire UK
Posts: 3,091
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
I fed dd in front of my son's friends without any nrevousness or embarrassment. My son is a pre teen at 12.5 but I will also feed this child we are expecting and friends round or not he or she will be fed and not in hiding either.

I bf him and his brother and they are upset when they see other mums with bottles and think its not 'right' they are both bf advocates in their own way 'Oh yeah my mum did/does that/fed us' or 'Your baby brother's getting boob isn't he?' We haved several friends who are currently bf babies witholder siblings around and it hasn't been an issue.

ITA with the pps who say that we need to show the world what is normal - both at home and in public. I am not ashamed to do that in any way I can becuase it is acknowledged that women with supportive partners are more likely to bf and bf for longer. Our boys are the partners of the future and I don't want to see my grandchildren being fed formula.
orangefoot is offline  
#22 of 48 Old 01-31-2006, 10:07 PM
 
ErikaDP's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2003
Location: Ct-but my heart is in Seattle!
Posts: 1,825
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by orangefoot
ITA with the pps who say that we need to show the world what is normal - both at home and in public. I am not ashamed to do that in any way I can because it is acknowledged that women with supportive partners are more likely to bf and bf for longer. Our boys are the partners of the future and I don't want to see my grandchildren being fed formula.
Thank you Orangefoot for stating so clearly in your post why it is so important for our sons to see breastfeeding as normal. For I too want my grandchildren to be breastfed.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Chicky2
Recently I watched a documentary on Showtime (wish I could remember the name!) about breasts. It had a whole section about the fact that the U.S. is one of the VERY few societies in this world who look at breasts as a sexual 'fun toy'. Just thought I'd throw that in.
And Chicky2,
If you ever find out the name of the documentary that you saw on Showtime, can you please post it here? I would love to see it.

Take Care,
Erika :
"Do not follow where the path may lead. Go instead where there is no path and leave a trail..."
"Knowledge without compassion is useless"-SCW
"I am learning all the time, the tombstone will be my diploma"- Eartha Kitt

"Do not follow where the path may lead. Go instead where there is no path and leave a trail..."
"I am learning all the time, the tombstone will be my diploma"- Eartha Kitt
ErikaDP is offline  
#23 of 48 Old 01-31-2006, 11:52 PM
 
doctorjen's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2003
Posts: 3,092
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
My kids are 17, almost 11, 8 and 2. My 17 yr old ds was almost 15 when his littlest sister was born. I have nursed her, and continue to nurse her whenever needed regardless of who's visiting. We don't make a big deal about breastfeeding around here - it's just the way the babies eats and the toddlers get comforted and connected to mom, and that's just how it is. Now, I wouldn't take my shirt off around ds's friends, but I don't make an effort to be extra discrete either. I also don't make any announcements. In my experience, many teens don't even realize I'm nursing, and if they do, if I'm calm about it, they usually are, too.
It helps that my ds is pretty unselfconscious about the whole thing, too. He is very non-chalant about his sister's nursing and was kind of shocked that some of his friends didn't feel the same. All his friends are used to it now, and don't bat an eye, either. I don't restrict visitors or hide when dd wants to nurse. I've nursed while playing board games with teenagers, or talking about school, or cooking together (although, honestly at her age I mostly nurse her sitting down because she's just too long and too heavy to multitask much with anymore!)
If it did bother ds, I would probably talk to him and try to get him to see that his own embarrassment makes it more of a big deal than if he was just casual about it. You know "Don't go in there, mom's nursing the baby!" makes a big deal out of it, instead of just nursing the baby without comment wherever you need to.
I also, wouldn't think a thing of him being at another nursing mom's house, and wouldn't see it as any kind of "situation." I don't think my ds or any of his friends are the least bit "turned on" by my breastfeeding. I don't think they find the idea of breastfeeding, especially when looking at my old self snuggling a hungry baby as anything sexual. If anything, they are initially a little stunned since some have been conditioned to think of it as a private thing, but when they see how unconcerned I am, they usually lighten right up. Several of ds's friends have felt comfortable to ask me questions and make supportive-type comments, too. My lactivist ds has actually sort of enjoyed selling his friends on the "breast is best" concept. He was initially horrified to find out that his girlfriend didn't intend to ever breastfeed, and he came back and forth to me multiple times for good selling points and comebacks to use in their discussions, finally reporting to me with satisfaction that she said she'd at least try when she has a baby some day (which better be hundreds of years down the road!) I wasn't sure I wanted my baby talking to some girl about how she was going to feed her own babies, but there you go. . .
I totally agree with a PP who said if we want breastfeeding to be the norm, we have to act like it is the norm.
doctorjen is offline  
#24 of 48 Old 02-01-2006, 12:06 AM
 
Chicky2's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2002
Location: North Texas
Posts: 2,871
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
http://www.socalnaturist.org/moviebuff/bustingout.html

ErikaDP....here ya go! I *really* enjoyed it!

edited to add link...

Look! It's going to come on this week!

http://www.sho.com/site/schedules/pr...407&seriesid=0

Happy Homesteading Homeschooling Homebirthing Beekeeping Dready (& a bit redneck even) Mama to 4 fab kids :  dd (23), dd (13), ds (11), dd (5)

Chicky2 is offline  
#25 of 48 Old 02-01-2006, 01:13 AM
 
MacKinnon's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2004
Location: The Great Lakes State
Posts: 3,844
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
My sister is a teenager and often at my house. I nurse DD in front of her boyfriend and her guy friends, although I am much more discreet when they are around. It has been very interesting to watch her boyfriend, who was intially very uncomfortable, learn about the benifits of breastfeeding and become an advocate for breastfeeding. My sister had listened to 9 months of my soap box preaching about breastfeeding and knew that it was important to me. One day, shortly before her BF was due at my house, she asked if I was going to keep nursing. I simply said Yes, but I'll cover her up if YOU want. And she did, so I did. But I stayed in the living room and carried on a normal conversation. After several months we dropped the blanket... I agree that you need to be respectful of the 15 yo feelings but you also need to establish breastfeeding as a norm and not a hush-hush thing. A few weeks ago, my sister mentioned to me how "weird" it was that our family friend doesn't nurse in front of any of us (she always leaves the room). She was so use to me and my friends NIP that she didn't understand why anyone would leave. This from the girl who thought she would DIE when I nursed in front of her boyfriend. Good luck!

sleepytime.gifC.- WOHM, CPST Instructor, and all around busy Mama to  blowkiss.gifA.- 02/04, bouncy.gif I. 01/07,babyf.gifE. 09/10 and

stork-suprise.gif expecting the surprise of our lives Fall 2012!
 

MacKinnon is offline  
#26 of 48 Old 02-01-2006, 12:15 PM
 
MOM2ANSLEY's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2003
Location: S.C.
Posts: 1,054
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
My brother(18) moved in with me shortly after dd was born, I nursed in front of him...even pumped with him in the room, but he never brought over male friends, I probably would have nursed in front of them too, if anyone was uncomfortable...THEY could go elsewhere...jmo.
MOM2ANSLEY is offline  
#27 of 48 Old 02-01-2006, 03:56 PM
 
Lizzo's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2005
Posts: 1,445
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
I'm 17 and DP recently turned 18, so a lot of our friends are teenagers and a lot are boys.
I NIP whenever DS is hungry, I nurse him around whoever. I really don't mind and I think if I appear comfortable and at ease about it, so will others (for the most part! you know how some people are!). It's normal, it's natural and my baby is hungry.
It's interesting b/c our guy friends have never minded so much, but my best friend who moved to Philly while I was pregnant came to visit her dad in May and I went to see her and her dad at her house. DS got hungry adn Iw as about to feed him when she said "NO! WAIT! Let me get you a towel to cover up with!" and ran upstairs, got a towel for me to cover up with. She looked at our other friend and said "That always makes me SO uncomfortable!" I was kind of shocked.
Lizzo is offline  
#28 of 48 Old 02-02-2006, 12:54 AM - Thread Starter
 
aisraeltax's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2005
Location: never never land & CPP
Posts: 5,346
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
the reason that i posted this question in the first place is because i have feelings similar to EVERY response on here.
i dont feel like i should be less comfortable in my own home when bf'ing than i am in public
i do want to be a part of advocating bf'ing, esp. to young boys
i want to respect my son's feelings
i don't want my son to have friends not be comfortable coming over

i think i need to have another discussion w/ my son re: this and explain to him why we should not be overly cautious of bf'ing.

thanks everyone
aisraeltax is offline  
#29 of 48 Old 02-02-2006, 02:07 AM
 
ErikaDP's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2003
Location: Ct-but my heart is in Seattle!
Posts: 1,825
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by Chicky2
http://www.socalnaturist.org/moviebuff/bustingout.html

ErikaDP....here ya go! I *really* enjoyed it!

edited to add link...

Look! It's going to come on this week!

http://www.sho.com/site/schedules/pr...407&seriesid=0
Thanks Chicky2!

Take Care,
Erika :
"Do not follow where the path may lead. Go instead where there is no path and leave a trail..."
"Knowledge without compassion is useless"-SCW
"I am learning all the time, the tombstone will be my diploma"- Eartha Kitt

"Do not follow where the path may lead. Go instead where there is no path and leave a trail..."
"I am learning all the time, the tombstone will be my diploma"- Eartha Kitt
ErikaDP is offline  
#30 of 48 Old 02-02-2006, 02:42 AM
 
hellyaellen's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2005
Location: georgia
Posts: 3,410
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
My dh's two best friends are over at our house all the time so I have nursed in front of them. (ETA: they are both about 6 or 7 years younger than me which makes it somewhat similar to the op. Neither is at the stage of life where they are thinking about babies) And I think they were a little uncomfortable but they've never asked me to stop. (not that i would've) And honestly sometimes I feel a little uncomfortable, but i think it's sort of my job to advocate for the rightness and appropriateness of bfing. So I just make myself do it. And they have just gotten used to it. They have asked some questions and I've answered and maybe they'll be supportive husbands ne day!

Like many people here i haven't gone out of my way to be modest nor have I gone out of my way to flaunt what I'm doing. Although over time (ds is 4 mos. ) I have gotten better at being discreet easily. I have had people ask to see the baby not realizing i was feeding him.
hellyaellen is offline  
Reply

Quick Reply
Message:
Drag and Drop File Upload
Drag files here to attach!
Upload Progress: 0
Options

Register Now

In order to be able to post messages on the Mothering Forums forums, you must first register.
Please enter your desired user name, your email address and other required details in the form below.
User Name:
If you do not want to register, fill this field only and the name will be used as user name for your post.
Password
Please enter a password for your user account. Note that passwords are case-sensitive.
Password:
Confirm Password:
Email Address
Please enter a valid email address for yourself.
Email Address:

Log-in

Human Verification

In order to verify that you are a human and not a spam bot, please enter the answer into the following box below based on the instructions contained in the graphic.



User Tag List

Thread Tools
Show Printable Version Show Printable Version
Email this Page Email this Page


Forum Jump: 

Posting Rules  
You may post new threads
You may post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are Off