First Times................................. - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 21 Old 01-14-2002, 01:06 PM - Thread Starter
 
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First time I smoked: 12 (hated it and never did it again)

First time I tried pot: 13 (also, didn't like it much made me tired, hungry and stupid).

First time I drank: 13 or 14(loved it and threw up a lot).

First time I got a job: 15 Worked at K-mart.

First time I did IT : 16 ( hated it and thought it hurt).

First time I drove a car: 18 (good thing I waited).

First time I moved out: 18 (sublet with friends for the summer) Promptly moved back with my rents after finding out what it was like "on my own".

Well, I am remembering my first because my 13 year old is so different from me. She is so much more mature. She has not smoked, drank or anything else. She is happy. I was not. It helps me to remember how messed up I was at such an early age. I sometimes don't give her enough credit and recognition for her tremendously good character.

Please share some of your firsts. It is interesting how we all compare.

Thanks, marg
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#2 of 21 Old 01-14-2002, 10:08 PM
 
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my first cigarette 13 and I just did it to be cool. I decided I didn't like it and my friends still liked me.By the way they still smoke 17 years later!!
First kiss 14 First sex 15.5 (same guy as first kiss)
First job 14 ( A&W I lied about my age)
First time on my own 18 ( with a one year old baby of my own.)

I know my ds(15.5) has tried alcohol,cigarettes,and marajuana.
He says he has not tried any other drugs and does not intend to.
He doesn't like alcohol and he does smoke occasionally.He has no comment on marajuana.He gets uncomfortable talking about it.
He does have sex with his girlfriend of 1 year. They use protection and she is on "the pill" .
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#3 of 21 Old 01-15-2002, 12:56 AM - Thread Starter
 
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Thanks, Laura
I know what possibilities there are in my daughters future and I hope I handle them as well as you are. You sound very open and honest with your son. THat is a great thing!!! He is lucky!

Marg
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#4 of 21 Old 01-17-2002, 12:01 AM - Thread Starter
 
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Gosh, Laura I guess only you and I have been around here lately. Sometimes this teen forum really peters out!!! I have to admit I took a long break from it. I started to really get addicted to the Activism forum(I still am). I am going to start coming here more often. Let's see if we can jump start this forum again. It used to be my favorite place!!!

marg
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#5 of 21 Old 01-17-2002, 12:17 AM
 
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Thanks for your reply Marg. I am not very good at checking this board on a daily basis but I will certainly try to help get it rolling again.
In regards to your previous comment. Yes my son and I are very open with each other. Sometimes it is scary to be that honest.I have friends who say they would rather not know what their kids are doing. There are some things I would rather not know but I think that is the easy way to go. I want him to talk to me about anything.He knows I am not going to freak out on him if he tells me something in confidence. He knows I love him unconditionally!!!
We do not by any means have a sticky sweet close relationship(as a matter of fact just this afternoon he told me how much he hated me!! Ouch!!) but I feel he comes to me when he needs me. I feel he knows he can depend on me no matter what the circumstances.
I am terrified of when my 5 year old dd gets to adolescence. Everyone loves to say "just wait girls are much harder than boys" We have 4 boys and one girl.
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#6 of 21 Old 01-17-2002, 01:42 AM
 
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First time...

First kiss: 13
going beyond kissing: 15
actual intercourse: 17 (in college)
I drank (more than a sip of wine from my parents): 15, and it took me about 2 hours to drink a single wine cooler
I smoked a cigarette: 19 or 20 and I was REALLY drunk. Hated it, never tried it again.
I smoked pot: 24, thought it was okay. Tried once or twice more, when the opportunity arose. Then I got pregnant...haven't done much of anything since

I was really a pretty good kid...kind of sheltered in some ways though. I don't want to shelter my kids, but I do hope they make intelligent decisions.

Jenoline
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#7 of 21 Old 01-19-2002, 05:15 PM
 
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Let's see if I remember...
First drink: 12 (half a beer, I dumped the rest down the sink when my friend wasn't looking.)
First kiss: 13
First time having sex: 19 (I know, so old! I held out for a long time.)
First cigarette: 20, I think. I never had any desire to smoke. I've smoked exactly 3 cigarettes in my whole life. If my friends saw me smoking they'd take the cigarette away from me even though they smoked. The funny thing is, my mom died of non-smoking lung cancer. I wonder if my friends saved my life?
First joint: 18
First job: 16
First apartment: 22
Married at 23
First baby: also 23

My oldest child is 9.5 I wonder when he'll experience some of these firsts. The girls in his class are starting to get all giggly around boys.
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#8 of 21 Old 01-19-2002, 05:28 PM
 
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Oh, my! I do not want to share my firsts!
I am just thrilled that my 17.5 year old dd is a virgin.
She takes some good-natured teasing because of it, but she is well aware that she is respected because of it.
Thank God, one less worry, well, actually, *several* in that regard!
Wish I had had her life at that age.
That is all I wish to share!

Tracy
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#9 of 21 Old 01-19-2002, 06:37 PM
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Picked up on this thread in the "new threads" area and came to answer even though I don't have any teenagers. I had wanted to start a similar thread because it's been on my mind for some reason.

First drink: 16 (boyfriend's brother made vodka screwdrivers...have never had once since!)

First cigarette: 16 or 17

First joint: 16

I met my older (18) boyfriend when I was 16, can you tell?

First drop of acid: 17, got out of that pdq!

First sexual encounter: 16 a beautiful experience in Mexico with a gorgeous 21 yo photographer from Paris. This occured just weeks before meeting above-mentioned boyfriend. So getting started with him was a piece of cake! :cool:

Though the first experience was good, I still always wished I could have been a good little girl and waited until at least 18. I hope my dd waits. But over here in France that's pretty darn rare.
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#10 of 21 Old 01-20-2002, 12:33 AM
 
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1st cigarette - 12 ("social smoker" for the next 12 years. Haven't had a puff since I was 24)

1st beer - 14 (my friend drank an entire bottle of really bad white wine that night - yuck! - & I had to take care of her so I only had 1)

1st doobie - 15

1st time to drive - 15 (my boyfriend taught me how to drive)

1st time to have sex - 16 (my boyfriend and I had dated for almost 2 years before we finally did "it"')

1st job - 15

1st apartment - 18

1st child - 24

My dd is 17 now and I know she has drank, smoked pot (tells me she doesn't like it - makes her paranoid and feel out of control) and had sex (used protection). She feels like she was pressured into the sex and has made a committment not to do it again until she is truly in love. I'm glad that she feels that way and hope that when she is truly in love, the guy is truly in love with her.
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#11 of 21 Old 02-07-2002, 12:56 AM
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Cigarettes-14, quit at 25.
Pot-16, never quit!
Other drugs...23-24 and never since, yuck!
kiss- 16 and I had to make the first move.
sex-17 and never sorry. He was sweet and caring, and I would have been better off marrying him than 1st hubby!
1st apartment-19 and married....see above

Oldest, 22 dd was a virgin til 20, then was very serious about guy. Son was 18. Dd asked me for advice before going to 1st party with drinking and pot. We dicussed options and how she could gracefully get out of anything she wasn't comfortable with.
Son is 19 and got his 1st apartment today. Ah, he's in for a rude awakening!

The difference? Physical contact...hugs, love, caring. My parents cared but were distant. Touch your kids, hug them, and they won't feel alone and go 'looking for love'. Also, we talked, even though they didn't like it. Trapped them in the car if necessary and talked while we drove. Hmm, though I'm having trouble getting one of my 11 yo twin daughters to tell me anything...and she already has a boyfriend. Oh, dear.

I honestly think that my mother was a better mother than hers was, and I'm doing a better job than she did.... where's perfection?!
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#12 of 21 Old 02-07-2002, 01:21 AM
 
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okay,
first curse word 8
first kiss at 14.
cigarette at 15
beer at 15
hard alcohol 16
sex 17
marijuana 19
acid 19
ecstasy 19
driving 16, legal driving 17
traffic ticket 17
first love 14
moved out and into dorm at 17, but didn't pay own bills until 21
first job 17
first time in therapy 21
first baby 26 (one week shy of 27)
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#13 of 21 Old 02-12-2002, 07:19 PM
 
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interesting thread - there's big differences in the "firsts" between myself and SO and it's interesting to talk hypothetically about having teenagers of our own one day...

first cig/mixed with first weed (Dutch friend) - 22, Stopped by 25
first time driving - 16
first job - 15
first kiss - 18 (really!) (and it was a lousy one)
next kiss - 25 (really!) (this time it was nice)
the big First Time - 25 (bet that knocked your socks off!)
It was tough to be 17 and not have a boyfriend and many of the experiences of my peers, but I have no regrets about my teen years and my experiences, and I appreciate that gift.

SO had first sexual partner a few weeks shy of his 14th birthday, so we're quite a study in opposites!

peace, jen
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#14 of 21 Old 02-15-2002, 08:25 PM
 
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nursingmother, i don't think you are a prude! i think you're amazing.
i didn't have time earlier, but i wanted to explain my seemingly horrid past. i had a terribly dysfunctional family. name a psychological problem, and i can name a relative who's got it.
i wish i had liked myself more, i know that many of my bad choices were made because i really didn't care whether i lived or died, and because i was desperate to connect with someone, anyone, on some level.
it took me a long time to get it together.
i guess i can serve as a warning of sorts to parents: this is what can happen when you don't pay attention to your kids!
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#15 of 21 Old 02-16-2002, 06:09 PM
 
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Im so glad Nursing Mother posted before me:

First time I smoked: never
First time I tried pot: never
First time I drank: 21 had a glass of boones
First time i got tippsey: 24
First time I got a job: 16 I worked at Arbys
First boyfriend and Kiss:17 (and I married him)
First time I did IT : 19 on my wedding night
First time I drove a car: 18 (by myself. 16 indrivers ed)
First time I moved out: 18 (and moved across the country)
First baby: 21

I was a slow starter but once I got going . . .

The truest answer to violence is love. The truest answer to death is life. The only prevention for violence is for the heart to have no violence within it.  We cannot prevent evil through any system devised by mankind. But we can grapple with evil and defeat it, but only with love—real love.

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#16 of 21 Old 02-21-2002, 11:30 PM
 
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First smoked - 17, once, then not until 20. Quit at 26
First time I tried any illegal substance: never
First time I drank: 17 - half a beer
First time I got a job: 12, babysitting; 17 nanny
First Kiss: 19
First time I did IT : 22 hated it.
First time I drove a car: 12, legally, 19
First time I moved out: 17, and moved continents alone
First baby: 26
First marriage - 25, still married
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#17 of 21 Old 02-25-2002, 05:12 PM
 
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First cigarette: 13 (did not start seriously smoking until 17, quit a few times, the most recent time 10 months ago when I found out I was 6 weeks pg)

First sex: 13 (didn't even hurt)

First time for pot, acid, cocaine, heroin, PCP, and mushrooms: 17 (quit all that when I was 19)

First time drinking: 18 (also quit at age 19)

First time driving: 14 (drove a truck down someone's driveway; didn't get my license till I was 21)

First time in jail: 18 (haven't been back since - must be doing something right!)

First time shoplifting: 7 (last time - 17)

First apartment: 18

First full-time job: 16

First baby: 23 (only one so far)

First kiss: 12

First traffic ticket: 22 (haven't had another for almost a year)

First swear word: 3

First love: 17

First time in principal's office: 9 (last time - 15)

Married at 22

I plan to be boring for a while now that all the exciting, not-so-fun stuff is out of the way.
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#18 of 21 Old 03-13-2002, 05:27 PM
 
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yipes Bx4 - was it consensual? I hope so honey - hugs to you!
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#19 of 21 Old 03-14-2002, 04:18 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Bx4,
You are similar to me in some ways. I did all my partying from 13-20. I married young and am still married and my oldest daughter sounds like yours.

cool

marg
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#20 of 21 Old 03-21-2002, 09:46 PM
 
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First cigarette: 4 (had a friend who stole his mom's cigarettes.
Didn't like it, haven't smoked since.)
First kiss: 15 (zit-face creepy boy forced it on me in an alley on my
way home from school.)
First kiss with a girl: 17
First "other stuff": 4 (same little friend as above, 1 yr older than
me)
First alcohol: 16 (three shots of beer)
First time living away from home: 16 (college dorm)
First job: 11 (babysitting 5 kids ages 2,2,4,5,7)
First car/driving: 17 (got license at 16 but couldn't drive at school
(college))
First drugs: never (college friends said I was screwed up in the
head enough as it was)
First date: 17 (senior prom)
First time financially independent, moved out: 17 (joined the Navy)
First time had sex: 18 (one night stand w/ fellow sailor, one
month after boot camp)
First tattoo: 18 (same day as lost virginity)
First marriage: 19 (lasted 3 months!)
First serious long term relationship: 21(dp)
Don't have any kids of my own yet, but this post was too much fun to pass up! I hope I keep perspective on it all when I do!

breastfeeding, babywearing, homeschooling Heathen parent to my little Wanderer, 7 1/2 , and baby Elf-stone, 3/11!

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#21 of 21 Old 03-29-2002, 10:35 PM
 
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It's been so interesting reading everybody's replies! I find myself faling in the middle between prude and wild chick (ass-backwards, generally!) And my 16 yo Leo dd has leaped into most of this long b4 Capricorn mom did. <sigh>
OK, here goes:

first kiss: just shy of 15
first "heavy petting": 15
first actual sex: 20 (ha!)
first drink: 15, evening marching band practice; some horrid crap like Kahlua and coke. My tastes refined over the years.
first real "party year": 19
first apartment: 19, see above
first pot: 16, peer pressure to take a few hits, hate it
other drugs, never
first job: 16, Youth Conservation Corps, working on a wildlife refuge in RI, very cool except for the %*@# teens I worked with
first bartending job: 18, under age
first stripping job (hey, here's a new one for the list!): 18. Yes, still an actual "everything but..." virgin
first concert: 15, Kiss, still love 'em!!!
first head-over-heels love: 18, but it just never worked out
first baby: 21, to first lover
first driving: 24. Hey, we didn't have a car when I was a teen.
first college degree: 35
first--ONLY--marriage: 33. Never get married in your jr year of college, ouch.
first dance recital: 26 (why do I call myself TapWitch??)

Still dancing, still listening to rock & roll, don't drink nearly as much but love vino... and just think what other firsts might be on the horizon! Here's to Life!!
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