are my in-laws insane? - Mothering Forums
Forum Jump: 
 
Thread Tools
#1 of 25 Old 02-21-2006, 07:49 PM - Thread Starter
 
lovebug's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2004
Location: back in the GREAT state of Minnesota! oh how i have missed you!
Posts: 5,030
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
they are letting my 16 almost 17 year old SIL go to idaho to meet a guy she met online:

no i kinda dont have a leg to stand on. i met DH 4 years ago online when he was in Iraq the 1st time. but dh and i DO NOT support this! i was 19 when i first met DH IRL. and 20 when i moved to CO to live. the diff i had a great job and lived on my own. i flew out and payed for my own ticket.

am i out of place wheni say " are they insane"?

Your life doesnât change by the man whos elected. If your loved by someone you can't be rejected... decide what to be and go be it! If your a caged bird brake in and demand that somebody free it.
lovebug is offline  
#2 of 25 Old 02-21-2006, 08:08 PM
 
Tofu the Geek's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2003
Location: Canada
Posts: 3,594
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
I'd be VERY worried for her safety. If they are supportive of them meeting, they should have the boy come to their city for a visit and stay in a close by hotel. It would likely be a good idea for them to at least chat with his parents before the visit as well.

Tofie ~ mama to DD1, DD2 and Pookie v3 debuting December 2011
Oh my God....women are the COWS of PEOPLE!! --Reese, Malcolm in the Middle
Tofu the Geek is offline  
#3 of 25 Old 02-21-2006, 08:15 PM - Thread Starter
 
lovebug's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2004
Location: back in the GREAT state of Minnesota! oh how i have missed you!
Posts: 5,030
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by TechnoGranola
I'd be VERY worried for her safety. If they are supportive of them meeting, they should have the boy come to their city for a visit and stay in a close by hotel.
this is what i say

Your life doesnât change by the man whos elected. If your loved by someone you can't be rejected... decide what to be and go be it! If your a caged bird brake in and demand that somebody free it.
lovebug is offline  
#4 of 25 Old 02-21-2006, 08:23 PM
 
Blue Dragonfly's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2005
Posts: 1,025
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
That is totally insane!! (Good advice TechnoGranola).

My brother had a friend (age 21) go to NY to meet a girl. His parents went along, and good thing! It turned out she was 15 or 16 (illegal anyway) which he found out about before they did the nasty (but not before they made out!). Luckily all the parents were there to help get the situation sorted out. A good learning lesson for him.

But when I think of all the terrible things that can happen to a 16 year old. (well to anybody really) Yikes!

I hope you can make them see the light.
Blue Dragonfly is offline  
#5 of 25 Old 02-21-2006, 08:27 PM - Thread Starter
 
lovebug's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2004
Location: back in the GREAT state of Minnesota! oh how i have missed you!
Posts: 5,030
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
i dont think there light is on!!!!!! or the fuze i loose! one of the 2

Your life doesnât change by the man whos elected. If your loved by someone you can't be rejected... decide what to be and go be it! If your a caged bird brake in and demand that somebody free it.
lovebug is offline  
#6 of 25 Old 02-22-2006, 12:13 AM
Banned
 
MillingNome's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2005
Location: hunting in Gilead
Posts: 6,414
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)


For this day and age- yep, I'd say they are crazy.
MillingNome is offline  
#7 of 25 Old 02-22-2006, 12:49 AM
Red
 
Red's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2002
Location: at my keyboard, writing my novel.
Posts: 4,500
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Oh, and then they'll be surprised when she does something stupid, marries a guy she hardly knows or meets a scary guy.

I have three dd's in that age range. I'm just sick!
Red is offline  
#8 of 25 Old 02-22-2006, 02:32 AM - Thread Starter
 
lovebug's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2004
Location: back in the GREAT state of Minnesota! oh how i have missed you!
Posts: 5,030
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by iamthesmilingone


For this day and age- yep, I'd say they are crazy.
thank you

and red im just sick too!

Your life doesnât change by the man whos elected. If your loved by someone you can't be rejected... decide what to be and go be it! If your a caged bird brake in and demand that somebody free it.
lovebug is offline  
#9 of 25 Old 02-22-2006, 10:58 AM
 
kkiolbassa's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2003
Location: Chicago. IL
Posts: 156
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by TechnoGranola
I'd be VERY worried for her safety. If they are supportive of them meeting, they should have the boy come to their city for a visit and stay in a close by hotel. It would likely be a good idea for them to at least chat with his parents before the visit as well.
This makes much more sense. And yes, I think your in laws are nuts. I have a 17 yo and I can't imagine letting him go off to meet someone he met on line. Yikes.
kkiolbassa is offline  
#10 of 25 Old 02-28-2006, 04:09 AM - Thread Starter
 
lovebug's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2004
Location: back in the GREAT state of Minnesota! oh how i have missed you!
Posts: 5,030
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
this makes me feel so much better! im glad that im not crazy! and that my feelings are ok!

Your life doesnât change by the man whos elected. If your loved by someone you can't be rejected... decide what to be and go be it! If your a caged bird brake in and demand that somebody free it.
lovebug is offline  
#11 of 25 Old 02-28-2006, 01:27 PM
 
Tofu the Geek's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2003
Location: Canada
Posts: 3,594
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
I just realized where I got my idea of staying in a close by hotel from! When I was 16 I went on vacation with my best friend and her parents. I met a nice guy there and got his address and we started writing letters and talking on the phone. We wanted to visit each other so my parents took me to the city he lived in and stayed in a hotel with me. They had the boy come over the first afternoon we were there to visit with the entire family. When we went out for the evening my dad found out where we were going, got a phone # for the place (late 80's ago so nobody had cell phones) and also wrote down the license plate # of the guy's car. Then the next day he came to our hotel to visit again.

The next time we visited he came to our city and stayed at our house. Eventually it got to the point where I went and visited on my own when I was 19. I haven't talked to him in the last couple of years but we've been friends for about 18 years now.

I'd do the same thing for my DD that my parents did for me if there was a boy she met online (or on vacation or whatever). I wasn't bothered by it when I was a teenager, I was glad my parents payed for the trip to go visit him.

Tofie ~ mama to DD1, DD2 and Pookie v3 debuting December 2011
Oh my God....women are the COWS of PEOPLE!! --Reese, Malcolm in the Middle
Tofu the Geek is offline  
#12 of 25 Old 02-28-2006, 02:35 PM
 
Ruthla's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2004
Location: Long Island, NY
Posts: 47,873
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 3 Post(s)
I agree- the parents are being very, very careless here!

Ruth, single mommy to Leah, 19, Hannah, 18, and Jack, 12
Ruthla is offline  
#13 of 25 Old 02-28-2006, 03:19 PM
 
bobica's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2004
Location: missing my bobo
Posts: 7,277
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
how irresponsible of them! very sad for your SIL- i hope she stays safe!
bobica is offline  
#14 of 25 Old 03-08-2006, 08:16 AM
 
caffeine_kittie's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2006
Posts: 60
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
cant believe it!
she's suppose to be one of the guardians but look what she's doing?
insane i should say.
sorry to say but that's the truth.
who on her right mind would do such things? duh!
caffeine_kittie is offline  
#15 of 25 Old 04-06-2006, 11:36 PM - Thread Starter
 
lovebug's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2004
Location: back in the GREAT state of Minnesota! oh how i have missed you!
Posts: 5,030
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
well mama she went and is having a great time. but, i still think it should have never happened! i agree with ALL of you. this makes me feel so much better. now i know that IM not insane!

Your life doesnât change by the man whos elected. If your loved by someone you can't be rejected... decide what to be and go be it! If your a caged bird brake in and demand that somebody free it.
lovebug is offline  
#16 of 25 Old 04-07-2006, 12:09 AM
 
momto l&a's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2002
Location: Idaho
Posts: 13,255
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
What part of Idaho?
momto l&a is offline  
#17 of 25 Old 04-07-2006, 01:00 AM
 
a-sorta-fairytale's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2005
Location: Hangin' with the raisin girls
Posts: 5,102
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 16 Post(s)
When i was 14 i met a guy in california on my school choir trip. He was older. We talked on the phone and wrote letters for a few years - he came to visit me when i was 16. He stayed in a hotel and my parents let us hang out as if he was a guy who lived there. They would NEVER have let me go visit some strange guy. When i was 18 and had graduated i went to visit him.
a-sorta-fairytale is online now  
#18 of 25 Old 04-07-2006, 01:11 AM
 
Tofu the Geek's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2003
Location: Canada
Posts: 3,594
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by lovebug
well mama she went and is having a great time. but, i still think it should have never happened! i agree with ALL of you. this makes me feel so much better. now i know that IM not insane!
She's currently on the trip? Yikes, I'll feel much better when she is home safe and sound!

Tofie ~ mama to DD1, DD2 and Pookie v3 debuting December 2011
Oh my God....women are the COWS of PEOPLE!! --Reese, Malcolm in the Middle
Tofu the Geek is offline  
#19 of 25 Old 04-07-2006, 01:14 AM
 
Ruthla's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2004
Location: Long Island, NY
Posts: 47,873
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 3 Post(s)
OK, she might luck out, but it's still a stupid risk to take in the first place! I hope she comes home safely soon!

Ruth, single mommy to Leah, 19, Hannah, 18, and Jack, 12
Ruthla is offline  
#20 of 25 Old 04-07-2006, 01:17 AM - Thread Starter
 
lovebug's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2004
Location: back in the GREAT state of Minnesota! oh how i have missed you!
Posts: 5,030
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by Ruthla
OK, she might luck out, but it's still a stupid risk to take in the first place! I hope she comes home safely soon!
i know me about it ; )

i just hate having this stuff out of my hands!

Your life doesnât change by the man whos elected. If your loved by someone you can't be rejected... decide what to be and go be it! If your a caged bird brake in and demand that somebody free it.
lovebug is offline  
#21 of 25 Old 04-07-2006, 01:14 PM
 
bricorssk's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2005
Location: Colorado
Posts: 53
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
This is so different then just meeting some boy in person and wanting to see him again! At least you know he isn't some 50 yo perv that is acting like a 18yo on a website like myspace. Very scary
bricorssk is offline  
#22 of 25 Old 04-08-2006, 12:41 AM
 
2happymamas's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2005
Posts: 1,894
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Please tell me they are at least going with her!
2happymamas is offline  
#23 of 25 Old 04-08-2006, 12:46 AM - Thread Starter
 
lovebug's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2004
Location: back in the GREAT state of Minnesota! oh how i have missed you!
Posts: 5,030
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
nope! she is there now and no they did NOT go with her :

Your life doesnât change by the man whos elected. If your loved by someone you can't be rejected... decide what to be and go be it! If your a caged bird brake in and demand that somebody free it.
lovebug is offline  
#24 of 25 Old 04-14-2006, 01:12 AM - Thread Starter
 
lovebug's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2004
Location: back in the GREAT state of Minnesota! oh how i have missed you!
Posts: 5,030
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
i know this tread is kind of over. but, i just wanted to say she is going back to idaho in may. she will be there for 4mths.

i think my inlaws are trying to get rid of her :

Your life doesnât change by the man whos elected. If your loved by someone you can't be rejected... decide what to be and go be it! If your a caged bird brake in and demand that somebody free it.
lovebug is offline  
#25 of 25 Old 04-14-2006, 11:39 AM
 
a-sorta-fairytale's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2005
Location: Hangin' with the raisin girls
Posts: 5,102
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 16 Post(s)
THis reminds me of 2 scenarios.
1 - my inlaws are obsessed with this guy my sil is engaged to. She is 30 and they have been helping her financially all her life (school etc)
They have tried really hard to get this guy a good job, they are super nice to him etc. He is a bit rude and not much of a "find" But they are pushing this relationship. They even offered to take them on a cruise if they would get married. So i think they are trying to get her off thier hands.

2 - an girl i used to be friends with had parents kinda like this. When she was "grounded" as a teen they would still let her go on dates but not out with her female friends. They would make hurtful comments like "if you keep hanging out with HER you will never get a man - she is cuter than you" They encouraged her to get married the first time - to a guy she had only been with for a few months. Needless to say the marriage was annulled a few weeks later. Her second mariage (only a year now) she married the guy her parents liked - now she hates him, they have a child together (that she browbeat him for) and now she is mad becase she is forever linked to him. They will either miserably stay together for the kid - or they will split up.

It is so sad.

So i assume she is home and safe for now?
a-sorta-fairytale is online now  
Reply

Quick Reply
Message:
Drag and Drop File Upload
Drag files here to attach!
Upload Progress: 0
Options

Register Now

In order to be able to post messages on the Mothering Forums forums, you must first register.
Please enter your desired user name, your email address and other required details in the form below.
User Name:
If you do not want to register, fill this field only and the name will be used as user name for your post.
Password
Please enter a password for your user account. Note that passwords are case-sensitive.
Password:
Confirm Password:
Email Address
Please enter a valid email address for yourself.
Email Address:

Log-in

Human Verification

In order to verify that you are a human and not a spam bot, please enter the answer into the following box below based on the instructions contained in the graphic.



User Tag List

Thread Tools
Show Printable Version Show Printable Version
Email this Page Email this Page


Forum Jump: 

Posting Rules  
You may post new threads
You may post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are Off