Sensitive kids? - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 3 Old 11-21-2001, 05:25 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Well, let me be the first to post here.

I have two wonderful stepkids. They live three hours away for the next six months (our doing not their mom's ). It is impossible for us to convince them to come to our house..they say they miss their mom too much.

They won't take weekend trips, no matter what it plans on being. They have this totally irrational (It seems anyway) fear of leaving their mom overnight. They are 9 and 10 years old.

I really believe that they think we don't know how to keep them safe. Their Mom very much reinforces this idea..I know for certain.

In general we all get along, but this is very frustrating to me.

Is this normal behavior for this age, or is this too much?
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#2 of 3 Old 11-21-2001, 09:28 PM
 
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Well I'll take a shot at this. I have a DD who will be 11 on 12/24/90, and she has no problems with over nighters to friends etc., but her best friend (same age) will still not do any overnighters without her Mom. I thought it a bit strange, but have since heard a few stories (including yours) that there are other kids like that too. So maybe it is not so strange. Everyone is different. I had a childhood friend that always wanted to sleep over, and then inevitably woke up and called them in the middle of the night to pick him up.

There could be other factors too, like you mentioned, whether their Mom is feeding into it, what their relationship is like with their father, do they go on other overnights, and just not to your house? But in general, I am finding some kids take longer than others.

You mentioned it will be like this for 6 months, so it may be best to let it go until you are within closer vicinity knowing it will not be like this forever. good luck!
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#3 of 3 Old 11-29-2001, 10:45 PM
 
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I used to go over my friend's house for a sleepover sometimes and end up calling my mom to pick me up shortly after I got there.

I remember one time, her mom picked me up and I started crying in car on the way over. I didn't even make it to the sleepover before I started missing my mom so much that she had to come and get me.

I can't remember exactly what age I was at this time. I'm guessing that I was a little younger, but not by much.

If the children have a really close bond with their mother then I wouldn't say the behavior is very irrational.

I know this is hurting you, though and I'm sorry to hear that.
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