anyone got any advice - Mothering Forums

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Old 03-13-2006, 10:41 PM - Thread Starter
 
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ok i am 16 going to be 17 i am not a girl but a friends mom told me to go here and i might beablt to get some advice.i got a girl pregnet and she sign'd the kids over to me and i am taking care of them they are a little over 1month old i have 2 of them home and one is in the hospital bc they were premies.but one goes to sleep the other wakes up and at night when you wash them the fuss really bad.i dont know how to keep them a sleep i am very tired all the time and going crazy can someone give advice.....ok no i dont live with my mom or dad they both passed away i live with my brothers one id 20 and the other is 14 they help as much as they can but my older brother works and has class for 3 hours a day and my little brother has school and then spots and game i was home schoold and i am done with high school so no i dant go to school i am done with school unless i take college classes which is not going to happen any time soon.but i have tryd everything i can think of i cant find any nannys to help bc most of them are out of my price range so if anyone has any other ideals plz let me no i have got the bath thing down where they dont fuss but the sleep part i have read about ever book possibal and i even read to them i just am all out of things to try.
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Old 03-13-2006, 10:54 PM
 
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do you live with your parents? is someone helping you? do i understand you right in that are a 16 year old boy taking care of triplets?
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Old 03-14-2006, 03:10 AM
 
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We have a family center that helps new parents with child care. See if you have one in your town that might be able to help you. You can call the chamber of commerce or look up your towns name with the word Family Center.

Sound like you have a lot on your plate. Do you have any family that might help you? The hospital where your other baby is might have an idea for parent help so make sure you check with one of the nurses.

Best of luck and keep in touch.
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Old 03-14-2006, 03:22 PM
 
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What about your friend's mom who suggested you come here? Could she help you out in any way? Is there any way to have a friend or family member help you, even by cooking for you and making sure you get enough sleep?

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Old 03-14-2006, 03:35 PM
 
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are you still in school? how are you affording to feed these littel guys? im assuming the mother has walked away. how are you affording the formula for them? and diapers? has someone helped you with learning how to take care of them? (you are obviously very mature to be willing to do this, but at 16 i dont think i would have been in the same situation..i was very immature then).

its an incredibly wonderful and responsible thing you have done but someone near you should be concerned that you are getting the assistance you need.

please try to post an update. just let us know that you are OK and the babes are OK.

what state are you in? maybe someone here knows some agencies to call, etc.
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Old 03-14-2006, 03:42 PM
 
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i had my first bab when i was 15 and i know what ur going threw but i only had 1 lol just try to find help thats my best advice alth i lived w/ my mother at the time she was very un helpful or me and just remeber babies get hungry at diff times and they all need to eat maybe if u tryed to feed them at about tha same time and try to make sure they dont have a tummy ache message me if u need me
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Old 03-14-2006, 03:58 PM
 
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I would suggest reading some of the threads in the parenting multiples forum here and maybe posting some of your questions there. They are the experts on caring for more than one baby at a time. here is the link to that board http://www.mothering.com/discussions...play.php?f=158

As far as them crying when being washed, I'm guessing you mean while changing their diapers? It's pretty normal for young babies to get fussy when you are cleaning them. Do you see any redness or rashes? If you do that is your likely cause. If not then it's just normal fussiness probably.
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Old 03-14-2006, 04:09 PM
 
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wow, I watched my mum find twins hard, but u are a year older than me and dealing with triplets? WOW
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Old 03-14-2006, 05:17 PM - Thread Starter
 
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No i dont live with me parents my mom and dad have both passed away and i live with my 20 yearold brother and my 14 year old brother and the only help i have is me my little brother goes to school then sports after school and my old brother works and goes to college so most the time it is juat me and i only get maybe 3 hours a sleep a night bc in the day i am trying to not only take care of them but also help my brothers out by cleaning and helping with stuff like dinner and homework......
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Old 03-14-2006, 05:27 PM
 
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Where do you live?
Do you have work or school?
How do you afford the baby's milk?
Is the babies mama involved at all?
Do you have ANY family nearby that can help you?

Keep posting here for support, we want to help you!

North Idaho rural living  mama to: 23 yo DD, 16 yo DS, 8 yo DS, 6 yo DS, 4 yr old DS, 2 yo DD, and 1 yo DS. And someone new coming this Christmas!
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Old 03-15-2006, 10:21 AM
 
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There has to be some agencies out there that can help you. I would also reccomend a parenting class to teach you how to cope with these types of situations. What about her parents? Are they interested in these children? Do you have any cousins, Aunts, grandparents? I commend you for taking on such a noble task, most boys your age would have ran the other way. You can do this!
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Old 03-27-2006, 06:17 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by dt200602
No i dont live with me parents my mom and dad have both passed away and i live with my 20 yearold brother and my 14 year old brother and the only help i have is me my little brother goes to school then sports after school and my old brother works and goes to college so most the time it is juat me and i only get maybe 3 hours a sleep a night bc in the day i am trying to not only take care of them but also help my brothers out by cleaning and helping with stuff like dinner and homework......
Are you still around? How are things going?
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Old 03-27-2006, 11:47 PM
 
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Wow, Daddy, what an amazing person you must be to even take on this task.

Try calling La Leche league in your area. It is a group of very involved, breastfeeding moms. Obviously you aren't breastfeeding , but those moms in your area might be very supportive and have a lot of information.

Also, try going to your neighborhood high school and talking to the health teacher. Those are the teachers that are usually quick to know if a student is pregnant and they have a lot of resources.

Planned Parenthood might be able to offer some suggestions. Usually there is an opposite to Planned Parenthood that might be helpful.

Keep asking over and over for help. It shows strength to be able to know when you need help and to ask for it. You will pay back sometime in the future to some stranger who needs you.

In my area I have helped take care of babies for no cost when the family is struggling to do their best. I am sure that wherever you are there is somebody who would do that for you. Check churches. If you just walk in and talk to somebody there will be someone to help. Just keep reaching out and reaching out. Don't be afraid to admit that you are struggling. Soon there will be somebody near to you that hears you and will jump on the bandwagon to help you.

Regarding the washing...little tiny babies don't need a lot of washing because they don't get very dirty. You could try just using pre-warmed (be careful not to get too hot) baby wipes, and forget the bath for a bit.

You really need to sleep anytime the babies are sleeping, even if it is daytime. Don't worry about the cooking and cleaning. You can do your fair share of household stuff a little later. Right now you just need to focus on yourself so that you have strength to be the best daddy you can be.

It is a joy and a privalege to be able to help somebody in your situation, and I am sure that wherever you are there is somebody to help who would find you a great blessing to them.

I wish I could hug you. Keep checking in with the wonderful people here.
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