13 and want to color hair - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 32 Old 03-22-2006, 05:27 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Ok I Have 6 Kids And My Oldest Boy(13) Wants To Color His Hair We Keep Telling Him He Should Wait But He Wants To Do It Any Ways Should We Just Go Ahead And Let Him Do Color It Or Make Him Wait.
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#2 of 32 Old 03-22-2006, 05:30 PM
 
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Why would you make him wait? And what is he waiting for to happen to make it ok?
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#3 of 32 Old 03-22-2006, 05:36 PM
 
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Hair can be cut and regrows, unless he's got long hair it won't be that hard to get his hair back to normal if it's awful. One way you could guarantee that it's something he really wants and is serious about is make him get it done in a salon and pay for it himself, including a tip for the stylist. $30+ dollars of his own allowance would show that he was ready to make the choice. Of course, in that case you'd have no veto power whatsoever as to color, so maybe you'd be better off getting him a temporary (8-10 washes) hair color from the drug store instead.

Keeping in mind, that since hair is sooo unpermanant, I can't think of a reason to not just dye it. Maybe not to a super bright color like lime green at home just cause you can turn yourself bald for awhile if you mess up.
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#4 of 32 Old 03-22-2006, 05:38 PM
 
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I'd let him do it, I don't know his temperment but my phylosophy as a teen (and kind of still is) was that I'd rather beg forgiveness than ask permission...which i had learnt from asking to do things first, being told no, doing it anyways and being loved all the same.
I say let him try it- maybe he won't like it and the issue will solve itself.

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#5 of 32 Old 03-22-2006, 06:22 PM
 
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I would let him do it, too. There will be so many other things to fight over the older he gets. You could get him to try a temporary wash or you could help him do it yourself. This might be a good time for the two of you to bond.

I think with hair being so temporary it can be a good way for kids to express themselves. And at 13, kids are looking for all sorts of ways to do that. And hair will grow back!

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#6 of 32 Old 03-22-2006, 06:24 PM
 
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not really an issue to me.

If he has his chores done regularly and pays for it himself from his allowance or what not. No issues.


Now, if he asks for permanant body modifications, such as piercings or tattoos, i would say no.

In fact, I would let him know that this is ok with you, so long as you NEVER do anything permanant to your body until you are

1-of age
2-have a job
3-out on your own

granted, they will do what they do, but you may be seen as the cool mom now for letting him do it, and he will may understand better later when you ask him not to pierce anything or ink himself.

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#7 of 32 Old 03-22-2006, 06:35 PM
 
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Piercings aren't really all that permanent. Not like tattoos anyway. Sure if you leave them in for years you might always have a small hole, but that's the same with ear piercing.

Now I'm not saying that someone should let their 13 year-old get facial or body piercings. I'm just saying that as an older teen (say, 16 and up) a kid could be doing a lot of things that are worse imo, like smoking, drinking, drugs, etc.

Yoshua - I think the rules that you have in your house are good. That's what works for you guys, and that's great!

I also completely agree that littlemama would be seen as a cool mom by letting ds color his hair.

Elizabeth - 33. Mother to ds 12-19-04 and ds 01-27-12. new tadpole due 05-25-14
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#8 of 32 Old 03-22-2006, 07:24 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by MrsRoss
Piercings aren't really all that permanent. Not like tattoos anyway. Sure if you leave them in for years you might always have a small hole, but that's the same with ear piercing.

Now I'm not saying that someone should let their 13 year-old get facial or body piercings. I'm just saying that as an older teen (say, 16 and up) a kid could be doing a lot of things that are worse imo, like smoking, drinking, drugs, etc.

Yoshua - I think the rules that you have in your house are good. That's what works for you guys, and that's great!

I also completely agree that littlemama would be seen as a cool mom by letting ds color his hair.
i have seen piercings where they got infected and a permanant scar has been left there. Piercings are still body modifications in the sence that you are permanantly putting something in your body, until you want it removed.

But thanks for the thumbs up :0)

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#9 of 32 Old 03-22-2006, 07:36 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Yoshua
i have seen piercings where they got infected and a permanant scar has been left there. Piercings are still body modifications in the sence that you are permanantly putting something in your body, until you want it removed.
You're completely right. I hadn't thought about those instances of infection and/or scarring. And actually piercing something is different than using clip-on jewelry.

Thanks!

Elizabeth - 33. Mother to ds 12-19-04 and ds 01-27-12. new tadpole due 05-25-14
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#10 of 32 Old 03-22-2006, 07:37 PM
 
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I've been dyeing my hair since I was 13. It can always be changed. That's the beauty of hair--you can cut it, regrow it, dye it back, etc. I don't see any reason that I wouldn't let any of my DC dye their hair at that age.
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#11 of 32 Old 03-22-2006, 08:02 PM
 
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we let dd do it when she as three she has done it several time since. I prefer the stuff sold at hot topic without the bleech. It smells yummy and is pretty mild. I don't know what the instructions say but according to the babysitter who talked me into allowing this bonding moment You comb it in until your hair won't hold any more, wrap it up and let sit for 24-48 hours. the color lasted about 6 weeks. We got a nice deep blue and it smelled like blueberries. It totally rocked. we tried the bleech stuff and while the bleach was permant the color only lasted through a few washings (3-4? and it faed significantly after the first ) This is generally how we ring in spring around here. which reminds me . . . .

The only rule I would have at this point is that she only gets to color once every 3-4 months and no color over color. that just starts looking murky and dull after a while.

It might make you feel better if you took him into a professional to have it done. make sure it looks good and doesn't fry his hair. especially if he is using anything with bleech or anything natrual colored. easy to fry, easy to look silly. better to pay the extra, sure it will grow out but it could be a long 6-12 weeks

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#12 of 32 Old 03-22-2006, 08:22 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by vamp127
It can always be changed. That's the beauty of hair--you can cut it, regrow it, dye it back, etc.
I totally agree. I love my eldest dd's hair but she really wanted to go dark brown. I let her and now it is blue at the tips. I really like it!

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#13 of 32 Old 03-22-2006, 09:39 PM
 
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I would DEFINITELY let him do it. I would let my child do it at way younger than 13, if they wanted.

I strongly believe that kids should be allowed to do that kind of (non-permanent, non-damaging) stuff when they're young. Once you're out on your own or having to work, it becomes very difficult to get away with having fun colored hair or wearing unusual clothing.

I was never allowed to color my hair when I was young, never got around to it in college, then couldn't do it because of work. I had pink hair for about a month once, and I LOVED it. At 32, though, I really feel like I'm too late and I've missed out. I was who my parents wanted me to be while at home, who I thought I was supposed to be in college, and who my bosses wanted me to be after that. When do I get to be ME? Honestly, one long weekend a year and Halloween day is about it. I'm too tired to put in the effort the rest of the time. I need to work on that.

Let him be himself, as much as you can stand, while he still can.
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#14 of 32 Old 03-22-2006, 10:13 PM
 
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I would let my kids...I have dyed or altered my hair since 12...My mom told me I couldn't dye it, so I bought Sun In and doused it for a week until it was copper red.

As the other posters have said...it's just hair! (mine is hot pink and black)
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#15 of 32 Old 03-23-2006, 04:59 AM
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My 5 year old DS has purple hair. I really don't see what the big deal is.
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#16 of 32 Old 03-23-2006, 08:47 AM
 
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I would let him do it too! I just took my dd (13.5) to get her hair colored and highlighted, ok it was darkened and highlights are red But she looks beautiful

Trust me there are bigger issues that are gonna come up
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#17 of 32 Old 03-23-2006, 08:51 AM
 
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Sorry to hijack the thread.... I am the mommy to a 5 yo and, when I got a perm she said she wanted one too. I said no, but this thread is making me doubt on whether I did the right thing ... what would you all have done??? A perm is sooo expensive and I think it spoils your hair too....
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#18 of 32 Old 03-23-2006, 02:33 PM
 
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I don't know. I think perms are different. They use such harsh chemicals. I would not let my child get a perm. I have seen little kids with no hair because of a bad perm. it is just so toxic. The hair dye we use is very gentle and has no chemical smell. it is safe to ceom into contact with skin.

also if dye job goes bad there are some options. if a perm goes bad not so much except putting on more very harsh chemicals.

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#19 of 32 Old 03-23-2006, 03:15 PM
 
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Sorry to hijack the thread.... I am the mommy to a 5 yo and, when I got a perm she said she wanted one too. I said no, but this thread is making me doubt on whether I did the right thing ... what would you all have done??? A perm is sooo expensive and I think it spoils your hair too....
I got my first perm when I was 10 or so.

I started using peroxide in my hair at 12/13, sun in later that year but it didn't work on my hair(too dark) so I stuck with the peroxide. The first time I dyed my hair was in home-ec class as part of a project. I was 14. My dd is 7 and had highlights put it when she was 6, quite a few kids(girls and boys) have had highlights put in.

My mom dyed my 13yo'd cousin's dark hair with blonde dots.
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#20 of 32 Old 03-23-2006, 03:22 PM
 
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My son has dyed his hair several times between age 6 and 11. We use Punky Colour -it washes out but takes several washes - it can take as long as 6 weeks to wash out, or much faster if your dc is a daily hair-washer.

eta perm chemicals seem much more intense than dyes - I'm not sure I'd do that. Not to mention expense, although if a child wants to pitch in wiht his own money...
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#21 of 32 Old 03-23-2006, 04:04 PM
 
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Chiming in with another "let him do it!" I wouldn't go the salon route, though. I think hair-coloring can be a fun bonding experience; one of my fondest memories is bleaching my husband's hair and dyeing it bright blue. I can't wait until my girls are old enough to start playing with their hair!

If you do go the home route, make sure and do a lot of research online. Look up brands, see whether you need to bleach his hair first, look for techniques and tips, etc. Also, if he's in school, check to make sure that odd hair colors are allowed. When I was in high school, we had one boy kicked out for having green hair. : If that's the case, tell him to wait until summer. Have fun, and remember that hair grows out, and you can always strip the dye and color it back to its original color if it turns out bad. Salon supply stores like Sally's Beauty Supply sell hair-color strippers.
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#22 of 32 Old 03-23-2006, 04:38 PM
 
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my 5yrold DS and I dyed (permenant) our hair together a couple weeks ago. it was fun! Bright auburn. I've noticed it is easier to keep an eye on him in a crowd. All I do is look for the hair! My 9 year old ds is easy to keep track of in a crowd also because he has long dreads. (we have never cut his hair).

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#23 of 32 Old 03-23-2006, 05:45 PM
 
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About bleaching, yikes, I did it once and it really burned, even without letting it touch my scalp much. My son's hair is medium brown and colors still show up pretty well. I guess if your child's hair is really dark, you'd have to.
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#24 of 32 Old 03-23-2006, 07:44 PM
 
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My older kids have both dyed their hair. DD isn't so daring, so she's mainly highlighted hers. DS has had blue hair, cheetah spots, you name it.
It's JUST hair.
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#25 of 32 Old 03-24-2006, 02:58 PM
 
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Thanks everyone for the answers about the 5 yo wanting a perm. I was comforted that most of you were - just like me - scared about the toxic chemicals. What I did was I bought a special lotion that you can use on straight hair to make it look shiny and smooth and I mention often to her how nice her straight hair looks. She does envy my new curls though.... it felt a bit strange that I could have them and she could not. I like it that our family rules apply to everyone....
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#26 of 32 Old 03-24-2006, 09:33 PM
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At 13 it might be hard to stop him on something like this. My thoughts are to let him him do it if it's wash out coloring and he helps pay for it. It would be a whole 'nother ball of yarn if it was a tatoo!
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#27 of 32 Old 03-24-2006, 09:59 PM
 
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sure, why not?

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#28 of 32 Old 03-25-2006, 07:07 AM
 
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I think you should let him do it. When I was 14, I dyed my hair about 4 different colors. It is a "safe and sane" way of expressing individuality and even rebelling a little bit.
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#29 of 32 Old 03-25-2006, 10:40 AM
 
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My oldest wanted to do the blond on top thing when he was 10. So I let him actually I did it. 2 hair cuts andit was grown out. It was a phase Hair grows

Jeana Christian momma to 4 sons Logan 18, Connor 15, Nathan 6, and bonus baby Jack 1
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#30 of 32 Old 03-29-2006, 04:45 PM
 
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The summer my oldest DS was 8, we used Sun In and a blow drier (I think it is the heat, not the sun that makes it work??) He had short, spikey hair, that turned white. He looked so awesome!!
This past fall, he dyed his hair deep red. He liked it, I thought it was not a good color for him.

He would like to have his white hair back this summer, he will be 13 then. However, his hair has darkened over the years and I think it will take more than Sun In this time

Another vote for 'let him do it!"

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