My daughter took a pregnancy test today - Mothering Forums
Preteens and Teens > My daughter took a pregnancy test today
nonconformnmom's Avatar nonconformnmom 12:17 PM 03-24-2006
She just got admitted to the University of her choice, to start in the fall. She has signed the two-semesters commitment contract for the dorm. She and her (ex)boyfriend are in that tumultuous on-again-off-again phase where they both know they want to break up but all the uncertainty surrounding them makes it impossible for each of them to let go. She is very open with me about everything; she told me several days ago that she and her boyfriend had "an incident" which, the way she described it to me, would be unlikely to result in pregnancy but it is remotely possible. She is now 4 days late for her period.

I waited with her for the test results and listened to her worries and fears. We looked at the results together. Negative. She told me she plans to keep this test stick as a constant reminder to never take a chance again. She also said this scare has helped her solidify her resolve to move on from this boyfriend.

(Does MDC have a "whew!" smiley? )

I know that stress can cause a period to come late; but can it stop the period completely for that month? Should I have her see a doctor about her period not coming if it doesn't start by, say, Monday?

bu's mama's Avatar bu's mama 12:45 PM 03-24-2006
I do think stress can do that, but I wanted to post & tell you I admire the open & honest relationship you have with your daughter. It must be so hard to have her mistakes like that on her own, but how wonderful that she comes to you and learns from this.
skybluepink02's Avatar skybluepink02 01:02 PM 03-24-2006
I had a similer scare the summer before I started college. Same situation with BF. Unfortunatly, my parents didn't react so well and I ended up being kicked out of the house. Thank you, mama, for how you acted. You are a wonderful mom.
rozzie'sma's Avatar rozzie'sma 01:10 PM 03-24-2006
Wow. I admire your relationship. I had a scare and took the test alone in the school bathroom. It was negative thankfully. Stress can do wonky things to your cycle, especially for teens. Sometimes you can skip a month, but if something doesn't turn up by next month I would take her to the doc.
sunnysideup's Avatar sunnysideup 01:11 PM 03-24-2006
Like bu's mama, I am impressed with the open and honest relationship you and your daughter share. It sounds like she handled this in a very mature way. What a stressful situation!

I have friends with small children that have asked me if it gets easier as the kids get older. I tell them honestly that it just changes. We worry so much about our kids, and have to watch them struggle with difficult situations in life. Sheesh! It's hard sometimes.
Irishmommy's Avatar Irishmommy 01:12 PM 03-24-2006
I'm glad it was negative, and wanted to agree with the pps. You guys have a great relationship!
sleet76's Avatar sleet76 01:39 PM 03-24-2006
I hope my daughter and I develop a relationship like yours as we grow older together! How wonderful!

I did want to second the idea that stress can definitely make you late. I am usually like clockwork, but at a tumultous time in my life--the end of college: then BF (now DH) was deciding where to go to grad school (near me or away), I didn't know what to do with my life, and he went on a 5-week Europe trip with buddies (an eternity at the time!). I was late while he was gone. Like 2-3 weeks late. Again, it was unlikely that I was pg, but the what-ifs were soooo stressful. I was too afraid to take a test, didn't know what a + would do to our new yet promising relationship, etc... I was just late. and extremely stressed out. I think it is normal. Sorry for the book there!!
True Blue's Avatar True Blue 01:44 PM 03-24-2006
Around this same time of year before I left for college, I too took a pregnancy test for the first time (but I didn't tell my mom!). Major stress going on, boyfriend, leaving for school, etc. etc. I wound up being a week or so late in the end. I wouldn't worry too much about her period being very late, stress can certainly do that to someone. I would, however, not feel comfortable without taking one more pregnancy test if she hasn't had her period after a month (and I would do that before bothering with a Dr).
afishwithabike's Avatar afishwithabike 01:45 PM 03-24-2006
Glad you and your DD have this healthy nurturing relaitonship. I am also glad that she feels like she has taken some wisdom from this situation. It is my hope that she becomes a well educated intelligent woman and has beautiful DC when the timing is better.
momto l&a's Avatar momto l&a 02:16 PM 03-24-2006
I can tell you about stress and periods. My mom warned me about it before i went off to boarding school.

I didnt have a period for 4 months.

My roommates where worried but mom sid it was normal.

I have nevere been under such stress again thankfully.
Arduinna's Avatar Arduinna 02:37 PM 03-24-2006
You can definately skip a month from stress and from what you've described that seems like the likely cause. YMMV but I wouldn't worry to much about missing one AF. Might want to repeat the test though just in case in a few weeks if it doesn't show up.

You sound like a great mom, good job!
tyedyedeyes's Avatar tyedyedeyes 03:05 PM 03-24-2006
I wish my mom would have been as wonderful and understanding as you are. And I was 21 when I got pregnant.

~Kate
nonconformnmom's Avatar nonconformnmom 03:29 PM 03-24-2006
Thank you, everyone, for your extremely kind words. In all honesty, I have to say that it's all my daughter and I am just the one lucky enough to be her parent. She has been a joy from day one and has always shown extraordinary maturity and level-headedness so she has made my job extremely easy.

I appreciate the reassuring words about stress and delayed menses. I will suggest that she test again in a week or so if her period doesn't come and then we may give our family physician a call. I think her hormones are a bit messed up due to changes in her birth control protocol.

Thanks again.
lauriebeth's Avatar lauriebeth 03:30 PM 03-24-2006
when I went to college I didnt get my period the first 3 mos. This also happened the first summer home.

My mom chalked it up to change (I guess the same as stress?)
kaylee18's Avatar kaylee18 03:50 PM 03-24-2006
If she's not on hormonal b.c. she can learn to chart morning temps / cervical fluid and pinpoint when she ovulates (which will tell her when *exactly* to expect her period each month, since it is actually ovulation that gets delayed by stress - a period always starts a fixed number of days after ovulation if you're healthy).

Ovulation can be delayed by days, weeks, or months, depending on stress levels and on hormonal birth control.

Charting would also help her avoid pregnancy with a greater degree of certainty.
MillingNome's Avatar MillingNome 09:23 PM 03-24-2006
I am so glad your dd got the result she wanted. Like a number of pp I had a scare when I was young... It's kind of funny too! I knew I wanted to be a mommy but not quite at that point in my life. I was living with my bf (to be dh ) and hated counted days and "being careful. So I went to the dr's, got a prescription for the pill and waited for my next period to start so I could pop the first pill. It never came!!! Nine months later- the most beautiful baby (aren't they all?) in the world. I saved the prescription in her baby book/box.

And by the way- you must really have a great relationship with your daughter!
Apwannabe's Avatar Apwannabe 01:52 AM 03-25-2006
My kiddos are still very small. I still wanted to post and say that I hope that when my daughter reaches your daughters age that we have a relationship as great as yours.
boricuaqueen327's Avatar boricuaqueen327 02:54 AM 03-25-2006
my dd is still little but i wanted to say that you are a great mom and your relationship with your dd sounds awesome.
MCatLvrMom2A&X's Avatar MCatLvrMom2A&X 04:33 AM 03-25-2006
Quote:
Originally Posted by kaylee18
If she's not on hormonal b.c. she can learn to chart morning temps / cervical fluid and pinpoint when she ovulates (which will tell her when *exactly* to expect her period each month, since it is actually ovulation that gets delayed by stress - a period always starts a fixed number of days after ovulation if you're healthy).

Ovulation can be delayed by days, weeks, or months, depending on stress levels and on hormonal birth control.

Charting would also help her avoid pregnancy with a greater degree of certainty.

A lot of woman think that stress will delay your period but like you said it is ovulation that is delayed therefor your period is late. A womans period always starts a fixed number of days (give or take 2-3 days after u ovulate each cycle. Ovulation can vary from cycle to cycle even when there is no stress but usually no more than 3-4 days either way. With stress it can stop u from ovulating at all.


i wish i had learned about charting years ago i could have done that instead of going on depo :
AnnaLC's Avatar AnnaLC 07:21 PM 04-01-2006
My mom and I both had really irregular periods for the first 7 years or so, in fact I skipped about 5 moths my senior year of high school (took multipul pregnancy tests, all came back negative). I ended up going to a doc and then taking pure vitamin C to jump start it when she said that we should give it alittle more time before we jumped into testing head first (i dunno if that is really that good for you or not, but i was desperate and a friend recommended it). If she doesnt get it soon, especially if she is usually quite regular, bring her to a doc. However, sometimes bodies do wonky things when they are under stress, especially when cycles arent totally established yet, so dont get too stressed out about it, senior year is very stressful, and that situation sounds trying.
It's awesome that you two have such a close relationship, it makes life so much better for everyone
-Anna
trmpetplaya's Avatar trmpetplaya 02:42 AM 04-03-2006
You have an awesome relationship with your dd! I just wanted to say that I have also skipped a period before (and I hadn't even dated at that point) a couple years after it first started and I was freaked out that I was pregnant (I didn't know there was any other reason to skip one) so I thought maybe there was a way to get pregnant without sex

love and peace.
lovebug's Avatar lovebug 02:47 AM 04-03-2006
Quote:
Originally Posted by bu's mama
I do think stress can do that, but I wanted to post & tell you I admire the open & honest relationship you have with your daughter. It must be so hard to have her mistakes like that on her own, but how wonderful that she comes to you and learns from this.
i feel the same way.

i had the same kind of thing with my mom and it was great!
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