DCFS help needed update post #151 - Page 6 - Mothering Forums

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#151 of 169 Old 06-08-2006, 06:59 PM - Thread Starter
 
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She's gone.

We told her she had a doctor appointment and took her in. She looked a bit nervous as the doors closed and locked behind her, but went on through to the other room when asked.

When told what was taking place, she jumped up screaming that she hates us. She ran to the other side of the room, screaming and crying.

Once she calmed down and we started going through the admit process, she was hateful, making rude comments, telling them that she was being abused emotionally and mentally. She refused to talk to us or say goodbye.

They will be doing a tox screen and basic bloodwork, including a pregnancy test. No meds at this time - not sure if we want any at all. Only if needed and they cannot give anything without contacting us.

I have to go back tonight and take her clothes and other things.

This has been so hard. I had to lie to her to get her there.... Me who always tells her how important the truth is...

They have her on high precautions. No shoes, no belts, 10 minute bed checks at night ad a few other things to help keep her safe.

They are putting her in a section away from other kids due to her aggression issues also putting her on a two staff member ratio.

My heart is heavy, aching and breaking. I pray I am doing the right thing...

Janis

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#152 of 169 Old 06-08-2006, 08:26 PM
 
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Gentle hugs aplenty are coming your way from down here, Janis.
I hope brighter times are ahead for everybody in your family.
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#153 of 169 Old 06-08-2006, 08:47 PM
 
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Janis, I'm thinking of you and praying for your family.
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#154 of 169 Old 06-08-2006, 09:38 PM
 
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Janis, Continuing to think of you and your family.

It's always darkest before the dawn, hang in there, and keep coming back here for support.
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#155 of 169 Old 06-08-2006, 09:57 PM
 
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ive read your thread and just cant see it again without sending my well wishes to you and your family. teenagers are very difficult, but it seems you have more than your fair share of difficulties. i truly hope this helps your daughter, and your entire family,
s
rach
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#156 of 169 Old 06-08-2006, 10:46 PM
 
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You and your daughter are in my thoughts!

Happy Mommy to one amazing girl (6y) and one sweet boy (2y), and wife to DH since 7/03 : :
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#157 of 169 Old 06-08-2006, 11:00 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by JanisB
I pray I am doing the right thing...

Janis
You are doing what you have to Janis and being the mama she needs right now.
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#158 of 169 Old 06-08-2006, 11:16 PM
 
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#159 of 169 Old 06-09-2006, 12:42 AM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by JanisB
This is going to be one of the hardest things. I know she will be angry with me and possibly hate me for some time. I just cannot sit back and watch her destroy herself.

We can visit every night. Family therapy twice a week. Call daily. After she earns the ability, she can have home visits and then weekend visits.
She *will* get better and she will get over the anger and see how hard this was for you and how much you love her. Is her sister mad at you for putting her intreatment? I am guessing no. this could be a wonderful oppritunity for you. the treatment center sounds wonderful. from teh very first post my suggestion was going to be a good inpatient treatment center. it gets her away from you (it sounds like she wants a little space even if this isn't what she wants) and people who really know what they are doing. you have seenit help one child. don't doubt your descision. you are doing this for the right reasons and it sounds like the right place. it could all be very very good . it sounds like a safe caring place for her right now.

It is obvious she is hurting terribly over her sisters death. you cannot fix that. and it is not your fault. the bi-polar is not your fault, the death of your dd is not your fault, and the fall out from that is not your fault. its not like you are sitting around on your butt. you are trying everything. the time came for calling the police and that was ok. the time came for her to find a place to cool off and that was ok too. and now the time has come for some most serious help. and that is ok too.

The truest answer to violence is love. The truest answer to death is life. The only prevention for violence is for the heart to have no violence within it.  We cannot prevent evil through any system devised by mankind. But we can grapple with evil and defeat it, but only with love—real love.

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#160 of 169 Old 06-09-2006, 01:33 AM
 
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I am praying for you mama. I couldn't read and not respond. You did what you had to do. She is beyond all things you alone can do for her. SHe needs serious help and that is exactly what you did for her. You are stronger than you think and come here anytime you need to talk about it. Blessings to you and your fam.

namaste
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#161 of 169 Old 06-09-2006, 01:57 AM
 
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I am far from having a teenager and I don't pretend to know the first thing about what you are going through, but I have been reading this thread. This must be so very, very hard on you all. I am thinking of you and wishing your daughter, the rest of your family and you all the best.

Homeschooling, etsy-crafting Mama to spunky DD (12-04) and wife to DH.
 
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#162 of 169 Old 06-09-2006, 04:38 AM
 
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I have a bipolar brother and remember well the hell he put my parents through, and still is for that matter. I think it's a wonderful thing you are able to get her treatment- I wonder what might have happened had my brother's problems been treated differently, but as a very low income family our resources were very few. I'm praying that as time goes by she and your family will heal. If she needs med, please, let her have them, but of course have her monitored *VERY* carefully that first week. When my brother was placed on meds at first he wasn't monitored close enough and attempted suicide. Now he is on different meds and doing a LOT better. He's still got a ways to go though.

((HUGS))
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#163 of 169 Old 06-09-2006, 10:39 AM
 
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((((Janis))))
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#164 of 169 Old 06-09-2006, 10:45 AM
 
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I've been following this thread. It really hit home a few weeks ago when I lost my cousin. If my aunt and uncle had been able to see into his thoughts, intervention would have followed instead of the path he took. I think you're doing right by your daughter and one day she'll look back and understand that.
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#165 of 169 Old 06-09-2006, 11:37 AM - Thread Starter
 
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Earthmama,

I'm so sorry for your loss. So very sorry...

If you would like more information on suicide survivor groups or on Compassionate Friends ( a group for bereaved parents) for yourself or aunt and uncle, let me know. I'll send it to you.

Janis

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#166 of 169 Old 06-09-2006, 12:21 PM
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{{{{{Janis}}}}}

No words- just complete respect for how lovingly you're handling your entire family.
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#167 of 169 Old 06-09-2006, 08:58 PM
 
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I hope she will respond well to the help you are getting for her. I understand how difficult that must have been for you to go against your instincts and lie to her in order to be able to take her there. From everything I've read here, I am really admiring your handling of the situation - it seems to me you are doing everything you can to help her.

I'm glad you could finally get her placed in the inpatient situation. I hope you are able to relax a little, and do something to take care of yourself now. (I know you still have a lot on your plate!)
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#168 of 169 Old 06-09-2006, 11:51 PM
 
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#169 of 169 Old 06-13-2006, 10:48 AM
 
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How are things this week mama?
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