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#61 of 76 Old 05-17-2006, 03:05 PM
 
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I can understand a mom wanting to be her child's teacher!

The OP says over and over again that she doesn't want to keep her dd ignorant, she just wanted to be the one to tell her. I'm pretty sure that since she has younger brothers she couldn't possibly be entirely ignorant about penises. Gosh even little guys get erections.

They actually show an erect penis on the video?!?! I'm pretty sure you can inform kids about puberty without the visual aid, lol. That reminds me of the sex ed class on the monty python movie 'the meaning of life', lol. My 11yodd (grade 6)would be completely and totally uncomfortable with that despite that fact that she really does already know it all (we're farmers, sex ed comes young and is pretty graffic, she had a miniture horse that was Mr Constant Erection)

it's too bad that more parents don't start gently intoducing the topic so it wouldn't have to be this big deal in grade 4 ( or more ften, grade 6) but it's my guess that it's for those kids who's parents tell them nothing.

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#62 of 76 Old 05-17-2006, 03:14 PM
 
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Color me highly skeptical that they they showed anything more graphic than a line drawing of a flaccid penis in any educational video screened in a public school.
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#63 of 76 Old 05-17-2006, 03:28 PM - Thread Starter
 
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#64 of 76 Old 05-17-2006, 03:39 PM
 
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I still don't get why the depiction of an erect penis would be so traumatizing or inappropriate. Why shouldn't kids know about it? It's a good bet that all the boys have experienced erections by now. I mean, you can't have human reproduction without an erection. They're not showing the kids a porno movie!
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#65 of 76 Old 05-17-2006, 04:19 PM - Thread Starter
 
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#66 of 76 Old 05-17-2006, 05:18 PM
 
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I do think that, by the time a girl gets her period, she should have some clue what an erect penis looks like, and should be aware of the basic mechanics of sex. The amount of my life that I spent being ignorant of these facts is really ridiculous. I'm embarrased to mention how old I was before I knew that there was *motion* involved in the act of sex. From the textbooks (even in high school!), all you learn is that the penis enters, ejaculates, and then exits.

-Alice, SAHM to dd (2001) and ds (2004) each of whom was a homebirth.jpg, who each self-weaned at 4.5 years bfolderchild.gif, who both fambedsingle2.gif'd, who were bothcd.gif, and both: novaxnocirc.gif.   Also, gd.gif, and goorganic.jpg!

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#67 of 76 Old 05-17-2006, 05:38 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Sustainer
I do think that, by the time a girl gets her period, she should have some clue what an erect penis looks like, and should be aware of the basic mechanics of sex. The amount of my life that I spent being ignorant of these facts is really ridiculous. I'm embarrased to mention how old I was before I knew that there was *motion* involved in the act of sex. From the textbooks (even in high school!), all you learn is that the penis enters, ejaculates, and then exits.
I thought I was the only one who didn't know about the motion!

Seriously, though, has the OP tried asking her daughter WHY she found a drawing of a penis traumatising? At that age, I would expect possibly (probably) an "ick" factor, but being traumatised or upset by it seems highly unusual.
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#68 of 76 Old 05-17-2006, 05:38 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Sustainer
I do think that, by the time a girl gets her period, she should have some clue what an erect penis looks like, and should be aware of the basic mechanics of sex. The amount of my life that I spent being ignorant of these facts is really ridiculous. I'm embarrased to mention how old I was before I knew that there was *motion* involved in the act of sex. From the textbooks (even in high school!), all you learn is that the penis enters, ejaculates, and then exits.
I agree that I would want my daughter to know more about sex at this age. Not that I want her having sex, just I rather give her correct information early on so when she hears incorrect info later she will already know what is what. But maybe 2tired's daughter won't need to know anything about penis's. She may decide she prefers women for lovers, who knows.
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#69 of 76 Old 05-17-2006, 05:40 PM - Thread Starter
 
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#70 of 76 Old 05-17-2006, 05:43 PM
 
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Originally Posted by 2tired2clean
Is there really a need to take it there? This was a question about discipline. I would appreciate you not talk about my daughter like that.
Like what?
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#71 of 76 Old 05-17-2006, 05:57 PM
 
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Why are you deleting your posts on this thread, 2tired2clean?
I didn't see anything to warrant that kind of extreme behavior.

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#72 of 76 Old 05-17-2006, 05:59 PM
 
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Why are you deleting your posts on this thread, 2tired2clean?
I didn't see anything to warrant that kind of extreme behavior.
Wow, is she really? I've never heard of anyone doing that before. Why?
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#73 of 76 Old 05-17-2006, 06:00 PM
 
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Originally Posted by artgoddess
Wow, is she really? I've never heard of anyone doing that before. Why?
My guess is that she found your suggestion that her daughter would
a. Grow up.

and

b. Possibly make decisions about her own sexual identity that her mother would not approve of.

offensive.
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#74 of 76 Old 05-17-2006, 06:03 PM
 
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Mama - have you thought about going back to unschooling?

I unschool my children and would be furious if an individual or group took it upon themselves to educate my child on something that I felt they weren't ready for. They are MY children and as such, I know what is best for them. We live a very non-mainstream kind of lifestyle and I wouldn't want other adults making decisions about what my child should know and when they should know it. Particularly when it comes to sexuality.

She's your daughter and YOU know what is best for her. I'm sorry this happened & I hope that you'll both be able to find some peace.

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#75 of 76 Old 05-17-2006, 06:04 PM
 
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Originally Posted by choli
My guess is that she found your suggestion that her daughter would
a. Grow up.

and

b. Possibly make decisions about her own sexual identity that her mother would not approve of.

offensive.
Oh for pete's sake, what century is this? I thought the year was 2006 not 1806.
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#76 of 76 Old 05-17-2006, 06:23 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Sustainer
I do think that, by the time a girl gets her period, she should have some clue what an erect penis looks like, and should be aware of the basic mechanics of sex. The amount of my life that I spent being ignorant of these facts is really ridiculous. I'm embarrased to mention how old I was before I knew that there was *motion* involved in the act of sex. From the textbooks (even in high school!), all you learn is that the penis enters, ejaculates, and then exits.
Wow! That's me completely!!

I agree that the school was wrong and I would be angry too! I can understand you wanting to teach DD all of these things yourself and in her time and way. And I agree disobedience would be an issue - tho how we all would deal with it and the why's of it might be different from person to person.

I grew up in a little christian school so I was very sheltered like it sounds like your DD is - and I was also very different from other kids like you say your DD is. Several things I have learned thru those experiences tho...

1.) Even tho peer pressure had the opposite affect on me and made me want to be different, it still hurt a lot deep down inside when kids constantly ridiculed me for being different. So I agree it was awful for the school to put DD in a place where she would have to be the *only* one or one of a few to not see the video and thus be singled out by peers. Not that they were in any way right to make her watch it...

2.) My mom gave me the basic facts. I was probably in my 20's when I first learned about "motion" and we also lived on a farm where I saw animals doing it - just never clicked.

3.) I think if your child is sheltered, it's easy to think they will come to you with questions or they already know what they want/need to know, but I would be *very* surprised if your DD has not already heard all about errections and many other things from schoolyard talk. Prob she's heard sexual slang that she doesn't even realize is sexual and heard people saying things and laughing about them and not "gotten it" and not realized it was sexual - or maybe had a clue but not sure.

4.) I suppose my mom was always open to other questions, but since she only told me the bare basics, I never even knew what else too ask and when I heard things here and there, I was too embarrassed to ask. I figured that since my mom hadn't told me that she didn't know. Or even if she did know, I just wasn't comfortable talking to her about it since it was not an open subject. By open subject I mean something that was freely discussed. I plan to freely and openly discuss things w dd at an early age and all thru growing up so that she is never ignorant of the facts. So it's a "normal" thing to her and if she somehow sees or hears something I dont' want for her to hear she will not be traumatized by it. I think when it's all sorta secretive even at home and kept for special times or 1 big talk as were the cases in my home growing up - that then the child is too uncomfortable with it all to ask. If it's constantly discussed openly throughout growing up I would have been much more comfortable with it as a child.

Not saying one way is right or wrong - just sayng how when my mom did it the same way as you how it affected me.

5.) I heard a *lot* about sex from kids talking about doing it. The rest I learned from Redbook and other woman's magazines where people write in with questions and comments.

I totally respect your desire to teach your DD yourself. I think what we are all trying to say tho is that if you do not give her FULL info at this time she is going to be and I bet is already hearing thing - whether she understands them or not.

I also agree with the need to know about boys because she is around them and they will be flirting and having errections and joking about it etc.

I can understand how this can all be a big shock to all of you - going from such a sheltered environment to public school. Follow your mama instincts while letting your DD grow up and I'm sure you will all do great with it.
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