Tween's confusing changes - Mothering Forums

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Old 03-03-2003, 05:02 AM - Thread Starter
 
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I have a 12 yo dd and also a 4 month old dd at home. The 12 yo has always been active with camps and activities in the summer time and has now said she doesn't know if she wants to go to camp this summer. What's up with that? SHe says it is because it isn't "cool" anymore and not because she's afraid it will cost too much( I recently became a SAHM so money is a little tight at times) She just says that she might just want to stay at home and play with her friends. What I am afraid that translates into is too much tv and/or video game time or else a very bored girl all summer long. ANy suggestions?:
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Old 03-03-2003, 01:43 PM
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Maybe she doesn't want to miss out on anything happening with the new baby?
Or maybe she's afraid to leave you and the baby alone for so long?
These are the issues I am dealing with right now. I have a 6 yo dd and a 5 mo old dd. The 6 yr old refuses to go to school or to visit Gramma, for fear of the above. It has been a real struggle helping her realize that we are ok and that she really won't miss that much.

Or, it might be a puberty thing. i know that when I turned 12, I started to develop breasts and grew pubic hair. i refused to go to camp that summer for fear that the other girls would make fun of me. In hindsight, it was probably not a big deal, but at the time I was terrified. My mother let me stay home and I helped with my baby sister and went to day camp at the church.
maybe you could sit down with her and bring these issues up and see if it's any of the above? i hope this helps.
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Old 03-04-2003, 04:02 PM
 
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WE are granolamoms oldest girls Kait and Kaci. THis board is cool.

This is what we think!!
If a kid is in school they go the whole year with some telling them when to eat, what to eat, how quickly to eat. When to take a break, how long to take a break. They really get to choose anything during the day for themselves. Then summer comes and it's off to camp and the same thing.

When a kid turns 12 or so they want to make choices for themselves.

We are almost sure that your daughter just wants to hang this summer. She wants to get up when she wants to and eat what she wants to eat and when she wants to eat. She wants to be with her friends at home. not some kids at camp she will never see again.
Sorry moms , but camp really isn't very cool once you get older. We went to drama camp and adventure camp unitl we were about 12 -13. After that we would have rather stayed home and hung out with the kids we wanted to hang out with. Plus, alot happens the summer you are twelve. YOu are now more a teen and less a kid. Older kids don't mind having you around. It is a fun summer.


Kait and Kaci
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Old 03-05-2003, 02:09 AM - Thread Starter
 
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Thank you Mamaintheboonies and Kait and Kaci Your suggestions and insight are very helpful. I've tried to talk to her about it a little as you suggested mamaintheboonies but I have to be careful or she will shut down and not say anything at all
Kait and Kaci, you obviously speak from experience and even though I don't want to see her miss out on anything, I will respect her wishes and not pester her about it. If she wants to go she will let me know. I just want her to be happy
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Old 03-05-2003, 10:23 PM
 
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I have to ditto what Kait and Kaci said. That was my experience as a 12 year old and what I can see in my own girls. Just part of growing up and changing. I wish you a fun summer with your dd.



-b
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Old 03-06-2003, 03:14 AM - Thread Starter
 
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Yeah here I was thinking...whew, this summer I won't have to worry about finding someone to cover for me and using up my vacation time while I run her all over town to her camps and what ever else she has going on and obviously she's thinking great I can sleep in, swim, see my friends and veg out all summer! I guess I did not see it at first because she said one time to me after I started staying home that she kinda wished I still worked. She missed the privacy and having the run of the house till I got home from work so I guess I took that to mean that she didn't really want to stay home. Don't know why I thought that. I know she also mentioned she didn't want to be gone at her dad's in IN very long cuz she would miss me and the baby She's a sweet kid but growing up so fast and I don't want her too. lol
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