What to do with "lazy" child? - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 2 Old 07-15-2006, 01:07 AM - Thread Starter
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He's only 9, but I posted here because there's more people here with experience with 9yos, and because he's showing early signs of puberty already.

About half the problem is "lazy" behavior. He has one chore, unload and load the dishwasher. It should take 20-30 minutes, and I want it done before 11am. It frequently takes him HOURS to do and right now it's almost 9pm and it's just finally getting done after me nagging him ALL DAY. : At 5:30 I said I wasn't starting dinner until the dishwasher was running. If he did it before lunch like he's supposed to, we'd put our dirty dishes in the washer ourselves, but he makes the job harder by putting it off because he now has to round up all the dirty dishes in sink, plus any stray dishes around the house.

This is one example, but typical of any task I ask of him. He offers to help do things, even changing the baby, but he's easily distracted, and even when he's on task he moves slow as molasses. He's never been a really physical, running around type, but the laziness has gotten worse.

Other half of problem. Low self-esteem. This has been relatively new problem since he transferred to new school and gotten picked on--maybe last year and half. But the not doing his work compounds the problem. He knows he feels good about himself when he does what he's asked, and bad about himself when he doesn't, so why oh why is it pulling teeth to get him to do anything? I don't want to give him false praise.

Doctor did blood test for anemia etc for any physical problem, awaiting results. Started a multi-vit. Am looking at pine bark for distractability, but in the 'pine bark for ADD/ADHD' literature it said possible side effect is lethargy, so I'm wondering if it's more for hyperactivity than attention problems. It also mentioned grape seed extract, no mention if side effects were the same. (We do no Red 40, rarely other colors/preservatives--I don't buy it, but won't deny it if offered elsewhere, fairly little sugar.)

Any ideas on how to cope either as discipline or health issue?
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#2 of 2 Old 07-15-2006, 02:36 AM
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Is he still having problems at school? Do you think he is depressed?
I have an 11 yo boy and it has only been the last 12 months or so that he has been willing to help with chores without it becomming a major issue. Now I can give him a list to do and when that is done he can have the playstation or whatever. We trade chores for benefits, it works for us. I have found saying well I'm not going to do this until you do that doesn't work. Neither does nagging, I learnt that from experience :LOL:
Maybe help him out with the dishwasher, and get him to help you with something else to make up for time. I know that I am happier to get things done if I have someone along side me ya know?
Don't know about the health thing other than just by reading what you have written I would be finding out if he is depressed.
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