What to do with "lazy" child? - Mothering Forums

Forum Jump: 
 
Thread Tools
#1 of 2 Old 07-15-2006, 01:07 AM - Thread Starter
 
Gendenwitha's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2002
Location: Olympia WA
Posts: 1,346
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
He's only 9, but I posted here because there's more people here with experience with 9yos, and because he's showing early signs of puberty already.

About half the problem is "lazy" behavior. He has one chore, unload and load the dishwasher. It should take 20-30 minutes, and I want it done before 11am. It frequently takes him HOURS to do and right now it's almost 9pm and it's just finally getting done after me nagging him ALL DAY. : At 5:30 I said I wasn't starting dinner until the dishwasher was running. If he did it before lunch like he's supposed to, we'd put our dirty dishes in the washer ourselves, but he makes the job harder by putting it off because he now has to round up all the dirty dishes in sink, plus any stray dishes around the house.

This is one example, but typical of any task I ask of him. He offers to help do things, even changing the baby, but he's easily distracted, and even when he's on task he moves slow as molasses. He's never been a really physical, running around type, but the laziness has gotten worse.

Other half of problem. Low self-esteem. This has been relatively new problem since he transferred to new school and gotten picked on--maybe last year and half. But the not doing his work compounds the problem. He knows he feels good about himself when he does what he's asked, and bad about himself when he doesn't, so why oh why is it pulling teeth to get him to do anything? I don't want to give him false praise.

Doctor did blood test for anemia etc for any physical problem, awaiting results. Started a multi-vit. Am looking at pine bark for distractability, but in the 'pine bark for ADD/ADHD' literature it said possible side effect is lethargy, so I'm wondering if it's more for hyperactivity than attention problems. It also mentioned grape seed extract, no mention if side effects were the same. (We do no Red 40, rarely other colors/preservatives--I don't buy it, but won't deny it if offered elsewhere, fairly little sugar.)

Any ideas on how to cope either as discipline or health issue?
Gendenwitha is offline  
Sponsored Links
Advertisement
 
#2 of 2 Old 07-15-2006, 02:36 AM
 
Linda in OZ's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2003
Posts: 394
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Is he still having problems at school? Do you think he is depressed?
I have an 11 yo boy and it has only been the last 12 months or so that he has been willing to help with chores without it becomming a major issue. Now I can give him a list to do and when that is done he can have the playstation or whatever. We trade chores for benefits, it works for us. I have found saying well I'm not going to do this until you do that doesn't work. Neither does nagging, I learnt that from experience :LOL:
Maybe help him out with the dishwasher, and get him to help you with something else to make up for time. I know that I am happier to get things done if I have someone along side me ya know?
Don't know about the health thing other than just by reading what you have written I would be finding out if he is depressed.
Linda in OZ is offline  
Reply

Quick Reply
Message:
Drag and Drop File Upload
Drag files here to attach!
Upload Progress: 0
Options

Register Now

In order to be able to post messages on the Mothering Forums forums, you must first register.
Please enter your desired user name, your email address and other required details in the form below.
User Name:
If you do not want to register, fill this field only and the name will be used as user name for your post.
Password
Please enter a password for your user account. Note that passwords are case-sensitive.
Password:
Confirm Password:
Email Address
Please enter a valid email address for yourself.
Email Address:

Log-in

Human Verification

In order to verify that you are a human and not a spam bot, please enter the answer into the following box below based on the instructions contained in the graphic.



User Tag List

Thread Tools
Show Printable Version Show Printable Version
Email this Page Email this Page


Forum Jump: 

Posting Rules  
You may post new threads
You may post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are Off