not liking dd's boyfriend...update - Mothering Forums

 
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#1 of 8 Old 07-20-2006, 12:50 AM - Thread Starter
 
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I really can't stand this kid! I'm also not a fake person and it's hard for me to even be nice to him when he's here. Tonight my dd's friends told me how much they can't stand him as well.

Tonight DD and I sat down and had a talk. She's getting upset that her boyfriend lies to her and tries to tell her what to do and who to hang around with. He tries to get her to not do things with her friends, but then he won't do anything with her either.

DD made an interesting comment tonight about how she thinks she likes this boy because her dad isn't in her life, and it's good to get attention (although generally negative) from her boyfriend. I told her that that was something that I always worried about...her dad says he loves her and then ignores her...which is exactly what her boyfriend does. I told her how she deserves so much better and that I know it's sometimes easier to go out with someone who isn't so great than to not go out with anyone at all...but she really does deserve more than she's getting.

I keep hoping that eventually she'll catch on. She told me tonight that she thinks he's cheating on her! She's even figured out that he's controling! He's controling, moody, lies! What a dreamboat!!!
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#2 of 8 Old 07-20-2006, 01:22 AM
 
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sounds like a great bf to me (haha) hope she figures out what a dirtbag he seems to be
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#3 of 8 Old 07-20-2006, 09:52 AM
 
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Sounds like your DD has a great head on her shoulders. If she can verbalize all that, she is halfway to being able to change it. Kudos to her and to you (she must have learned it somewhere!)
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#4 of 8 Old 07-20-2006, 10:07 PM
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And once she got that all figured out, comes the hard part- How to lose him! Good luck with that one...
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#5 of 8 Old 07-21-2006, 12:15 AM
 
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that is so good that she figured all that out!!!!!!! i bet things will look up soon!!!
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#6 of 8 Old 07-21-2006, 12:10 PM - Thread Starter
 
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DD decided to break up with him last night...after finding out he sent out emails to friends saying they had sex. I'm sure that now we will start the whole on again off again portion of this relationship. He's very controling and surely will talk her back into going out...which will last a short while. She's afraid to hurt his feelings. I told her that of course peoples feelings get hurt when someone reaks up with them, but that can't stop you from doing what you feel is right. So, she broke up with him by email : We'll see what happens today.

Thanks for all your kind thoughts. It does look like the begining of the end though! Finally!
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#7 of 8 Old 07-21-2006, 04:16 PM
 
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Wow. Now she'll finally see him for the jerk he is. I'm sure this will be the clincher. Good luck!

(My dd picked out a boyfriend that she later realized was "just like her [absent, noncommitted] father" and eventually broke up with him for that reason. She is soooo much more savvy about relationships than I was at her age! )
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#8 of 8 Old 08-01-2006, 12:37 PM
 
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any updates?

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