12 Year old Nose piercing... - Page 2 - Mothering Forums

Forum Jump: 
Reply
 
Thread Tools
#31 of 33 Old 08-19-2006, 05:24 PM
 
Arduinna's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2002
Posts: 32,562
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
I don't think it's any of your business as the step parent. This is between her and her parents. So her dad can handle it if he thinks he needs to with her mom. And I'm not sure exactly what "influence" you are worried about it, since your baby is 3 months old.
Arduinna is offline  
#32 of 33 Old 08-19-2006, 06:46 PM
 
lilyka's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2001
Location: Sioux Falls, SD
Posts: 18,301
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 1 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by trish6103
These statements are contradictory. You pointed out that she had her MOTHER'S permission, so why should she have felt the need to run it by her stepmother? Why should she be "talked to" about going behind her stepmother's back? When did a stepmother's opinion supercede the right of a natural parent to make a decision for their child?
I was kinda starting from the angle that dad was equally upset about this for al the same reasons. it never occured to me that step mom was anything more than "asking on behalf of dad" kind of thing. but that is probably a pretty big assumption.

So with that in mind, assuming dad is upset, bothered or what have you. . .

HE
Should remind dd not to go behind his back after he has said no and to at least run things past him before doing these things and why he would prefer that because to completely disregard his feelings is taking advantage of the situation. it is simply more respectful to think "gees, i wonder if Dad would be OK with this." Sure she doesn't have to but what if her dad did decide to be a butt about it and make her take it out? he certainly would have every right. but it would have been better for her to get his opinion first to avoid the hassle and expense of a peircing she would only have to take out. she did have her mothers permission and didn't thechnically do anything wrong but I should hope my children would be able to think and act past the minimum in situations like these. however things can be confusing (or it can be hard to resist the temptation to take advantage of these sorts of situations especially if one parent is keen on enabeling the child to do things that they know the other parent wil freak over) and parents should talk to them about what thier expecations are in situations such as these. how else will they know?

and HE should talk to his EX about what sort of things he would prefer she consult him on before making such big descisions. of course she doesn't have to. its her choice but it may have ever crossed her mind that dd father may have a problem with this. which is exactly why it would be big of her to run it past him and get his feelings.

The truest answer to violence is love. The truest answer to death is life. The only prevention for violence is for the heart to have no violence within it.  We cannot prevent evil through any system devised by mankind. But we can grapple with evil and defeat it, but only with love—real love.

lilyka is offline  
#33 of 33 Old 08-19-2006, 07:49 PM
 
Tinas3muskateers's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2004
Location: Erie Pa
Posts: 987
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
The mother should have talked it over with the father first. Made him aware of the situation however it is not ilegal nor is it neglect.
Tinas3muskateers is offline  
Reply

Quick Reply
Message:
Drag and Drop File Upload
Drag files here to attach!
Upload Progress: 0
Options

Register Now

In order to be able to post messages on the Mothering Forums forums, you must first register.
Please enter your desired user name, your email address and other required details in the form below.
User Name:
If you do not want to register, fill this field only and the name will be used as user name for your post.
Password
Please enter a password for your user account. Note that passwords are case-sensitive.
Password:
Confirm Password:
Email Address
Please enter a valid email address for yourself.
Email Address:

Log-in

Human Verification

In order to verify that you are a human and not a spam bot, please enter the answer into the following box below based on the instructions contained in the graphic.



User Tag List

Thread Tools
Show Printable Version Show Printable Version
Email this Page Email this Page


Forum Jump: 

Posting Rules  
You may post new threads
You may post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are Off