Do you think its appropriate for an 11 year old to get any body part waxed? - Page 2 - Mothering Forums

View Poll Results: Should 11 year old giirls get their eyebrows waxed?
yes 190 53.52%
no 165 46.48%
Voters: 355. You may not vote on this poll

Forum Jump: 
Reply
 
Thread Tools
#31 of 555 Old 07-31-2006, 10:13 AM
 
BlueNote's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2006
Location: beneath the starry skies.
Posts: 193
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
I agree that it is sad, but that is the way of the world and it has been for as long as there has been humans on this Earth. We want to look like others we find attractive. It changes from generation to generation. Plump women were considered attractive at some point. Then uber skinny. Now people are finding women with curves attractive again. Such is life.
BlueNote is offline  
#32 of 555 Old 07-31-2006, 10:18 AM
 
FoxintheSnow's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2004
Location: nak
Posts: 5,976
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
I got my brows waxed back in middle school and still do. I enjoy it. If my dc wants to, that's their choice.

Mother of 3, welcomed a new baby girl July 2011

FoxintheSnow is offline  
#33 of 555 Old 07-31-2006, 10:23 AM
 
babygrant's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2005
Location: BC Canada
Posts: 7,829
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
If she wants her eyebrows waxed, I would support her decision. It will grow back. However, if she told me she wanted the hair removed permanently by electrolysis, no way no how, she's too young to make a permanenet decision like that.
babygrant is offline  
#34 of 555 Old 07-31-2006, 10:26 AM
 
Marsupialmom's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2003
Location: St. Louis MO
Posts: 9,495
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
I wonder if you all would object if this was a boy starting to shave....modify his body.....

I think it is sexist to say no for girls to remove hair but a boy changing into a man is expected to. If you don't think boys aren't expected to shave you need to hang around boys more often. They get teased fiercely about facial hair and changing body and they have societial expectations.
Marsupialmom is offline  
#35 of 555 Old 07-31-2006, 10:29 AM
 
stellimamo's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2006
Location: Indianapolis, IN
Posts: 2,800
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
I don't see an issue w/ it. I waxed about that age and still do, and I haven't run off and done an modifications for purely cosmetic reasons. But then again I don't think waxing ones eyebrows is a body modification. I cut my hair and don't consider that a modification either. And I think that cutting hair and waxing are very similiar- one is just a bit more painful.

To me a body modification has to be perminate in some way.. piercing, tattooing, scarring, plastic surgery, etc.
stellimamo is offline  
#36 of 555 Old 07-31-2006, 10:31 AM
 
Hey Mama!'s Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2003
Location: MO
Posts: 2,965
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 1 Post(s)
I have three girls and I would let them wax their eyebrows if they wanted to when they were older.

student/sahm to three awesome girls who are always on the go!
Hey Mama! is offline  
#37 of 555 Old 07-31-2006, 10:52 AM
 
Maple Leaf Mama's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2004
Location: Over the edge and into the abyss
Posts: 2,380
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
If I thought for a second that my DD was being teased, then I would do something about it.
Full on waxing? Probably not.
Tweazing of eyebrows? Yup, why not? Girls can be mean.
I think what I have against the waxing is that it can look overdone and severe. While tweazing can look more subtle. KWIM?

Once she starts complaining about her leg/arm hair at 12/13, that is different. I'll take her for waxing, b/c I HATE shaving. It's cheaper/less painful-yes. But I HATE stubble!
Maple Leaf Mama is offline  
#38 of 555 Old 07-31-2006, 11:09 AM
 
RiverSky's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2005
Location: Paradise
Posts: 7,280
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
When I was 12, my good friend developed a unibrow, very thick, very uni & rather unusual looking. Her mother took her for eyebrow waxing, to get the area shaped, then after that, she would tweeze or wax, probably forever. For her, it was a major self-esteem booster. I see nothing wrong with it if that is what the girl wants. Permanent hair removal, on the other hand, should be an adult's choice, not a young girl's.

As for waxing just to shape a couple of pretty normal brows, I would think that was excessive, but the girl could always buy herself a cheap pair of tweezers and start tweezing. Perhaps it'd be easier to have her professional shaped.
RiverSky is offline  
#39 of 555 Old 07-31-2006, 11:17 AM
 
loving-my-babies's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2004
Location: From Chile but live in Pgh, PA
Posts: 6,426
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by Marsupialmom
I wonder if you all would object if this was a boy starting to shave....modify his body.....

I think it is sexist to say no for girls to remove hair but a boy changing into a man is expected to. If you don't think boys aren't expected to shave you need to hang around boys more often. They get teased fiercely about facial hair and changing body and they have societial expectations.
oh, I would totally let ds shave (if he has any hair) because I dont think those little hairs boys have when they're tweens-preteens look good at all.
loving-my-babies is offline  
#40 of 555 Old 07-31-2006, 11:18 AM - Thread Starter
 
numom499's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2005
Location: utah
Posts: 1,931
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by Marsupialmom
I wonder if you all would object if this was a boy starting to shave....modify his body.....

I think it is sexist to say no for girls to remove hair but a boy changing into a man is expected to. If you don't think boys aren't expected to shave you need to hang around boys more often. They get teased fiercely about facial hair and changing body and they have societial expectations.

Um yes, at 11 I would feel the same...that it is sad that they already feel the pressure to conform.
numom499 is offline  
#41 of 555 Old 07-31-2006, 11:26 AM
 
PajamaMama's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2004
Location: KC metro area
Posts: 3,519
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
I would not try to stop my dd from removing facial hair if she wanted to; nor would I try to stop a ds if I had one.

I do occasionally get my own eyebrows waxed. I pluck them between waxing to keep them cleaned up.
PajamaMama is offline  
#42 of 555 Old 07-31-2006, 11:27 AM
 
mamalisa's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2002
Location: Germantown WI
Posts: 8,431
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Not inappropriate at all. Do I think it's sad that other girls would tease a hairy girl? Absolutely. Do I think it's sad that the status of your body hair is such a big deal? Absolutely.

It's hard enough being a kid. Especially being a young girl. If there's something that is reasonable, that my child thinks will make her look or feel better, then I am all for it.

Today I don't give a frog's fanny what other people think about me. When I was 11, what other people (my parents, my friends, my teachers) mattered so much.

I still remember the sting of being teased in the 8th grade locker room for not shaving my legs. It went on for months, until I finally borrowed my dad's razor and shaved them. My mom would not let me shave, even though she shaved every day.
mamalisa is online now  
#43 of 555 Old 07-31-2006, 11:28 AM
 
Jennifer3141's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2004
Location: Traverse City, MI
Posts: 4,246
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
I have my eyebrows waxed as an adult but I believe children are children for such a short period of time. I will encourage my DD to stay young without worrying about adult behavior for as long as possible.

secular classical-ish mama to an incredible 5 year old DS and an amazing 6 year old DD.
Jennifer3141 is offline  
#44 of 555 Old 07-31-2006, 11:44 AM
 
BathrobeGoddess's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2001
Location: The rural foothills of N Colorado
Posts: 5,582
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
My take on it is this. It is absolutely developmental appropriate fro preteens and teens to care what people think, whether it is hair, clothes, or attitude. It isn't just cultural, it is how our brain is wired because it is what helps us learn and experiment with in our cultural norms, learn how to become functioning adults in our culture. Whether we like it or not, there are norms we all conform to in order to survive in our culture (even sub-culture like AP/natural family living has a culture to it) whether it be waxing hair or living in a community. So for me, I don't think it is sad that a tween, either boy or girl, would experiment with hair removal as self expression. Ultimately, from a developmental stand point, this sort of tween thing is a great way to learn about social pressure and how to deal with it on one's own so that when a child is faced with an actual life changing decisions they can handle it and hopeful make a great choice for themselves. As a parent, I would allow my dd to wax if I felt she had really thought about it, weighed the pros and cons. It is my job to guide her not make decisions for her.

Eden yikes.gif, working on a PhD in Education mama to Laurelleshamrocksmile.gif (16), Orijoy.gif (6), Yarrowfaint.gif (4) and Linusfly-by-nursing1.gif (1) partner to Brice. 
BathrobeGoddess is offline  
#45 of 555 Old 07-31-2006, 12:32 PM
Dar
 
Dar's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2002
Location: St. Louis, MO
Posts: 11,438
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
I'm pretty sure my daughter was waxing/plucking her eyebrows by then. I started waxing mine at 11 or 12, as I recall. The unibrow look is just not hip.

dar

 
fambedsingle1.gifSingle mom to Rain (1/93) , grad student, and world traveler earth.gif


  

Dar is offline  
#46 of 555 Old 07-31-2006, 12:36 PM
Banned
 
~member~'s Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2002
Location: on a lily pad
Posts: 13,061
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by messy mama
Yeah, you're right. But they might give a flying hoot about what they see.
I disagree. Self-confident people do not have a need to conform to stereotypes.
~member~ is offline  
#47 of 555 Old 07-31-2006, 12:41 PM
 
LovemyBoo's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2004
Location: The Beautiful Rocky Mountains
Posts: 1,696
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
I agree with "It's her hair."

For me it's not that much different than wanting to dye her hair or get a funky cut. So long as it's easily reversible it's fine with me. If it turns out to be an expensive endeavor than we may have to work out a way for her to help pay, but I wouldn't forbid it.

I'm not going to battle over hair, no matter where on her, or his, body it's located.
LovemyBoo is offline  
#48 of 555 Old 07-31-2006, 12:46 PM
 
mamalisa's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2002
Location: Germantown WI
Posts: 8,431
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by MamaInTheBoonies
I disagree. Self-confident people do not have a need to conform to stereotypes.
I've been an 11 year old girl and know a few. In my experience very few 11 year olds are self-confident to never feel the pressure to conform.

Isn't everything a stereotype? I'm pretty sure for every action, there is a sterotype that fits it. If I highlight my hair, am I conforming to the "soccer mom" stereotype? I drive mini van, same thing? I think breastfeeding and cosleeping are the only way for my family, am I conforming to the "AP" stereotype? If I get angry that women make less money than men, am I conforming to the "angry feminist" stereotype?
mamalisa is online now  
#49 of 555 Old 07-31-2006, 01:12 PM
 
secretresistance's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2005
Location: The bluest part of Kansas
Posts: 565
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
That is a decision I think I would feel my 11 year old would be qualified to make. That said, I would prefer if they were blessed with the confidence that I never had. I think expecting a younger person to be invincible to societal and cultural pressure is a little bit far fetched, but you can bet that I'll be doing what I can to support my son or daughter in speaking and acting in ways that are genuine for them.

It is only this year that I have felt comfortable enough with myself to wear what I want to wear, look how I look, and be as hairy as I'm meant to be. DP and I were at the lake this past weekend, and I had a sudden realization of what a relief it is to be fine with my hairy legs and pits, and to not care what other people might think. A real weight off my shoulders, as a person who has been overly concerned with being judged by my appearance for as long as I can remember.

I would like for my child to be able to bypass all of that anxiety, but I understand that that just might not be possible. I'm not going to force them at 11 to uphold ideals that I only started being comfortable with enacting at age 23!
secretresistance is offline  
#50 of 555 Old 07-31-2006, 01:16 PM
Banned
 
~member~'s Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2002
Location: on a lily pad
Posts: 13,061
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by mamalisa
I've been an 11 year old girl and know a few. In my experience very few 11 year olds are self-confident to never feel the pressure to conform.
And that is truly sad.

Quote:
Originally Posted by mamalisa
Isn't everything a stereotype? I'm pretty sure for every action, there is a sterotype that fits it. If I highlight my hair, am I conforming to the "soccer mom" stereotype? I drive mini van, same thing? I think breastfeeding and cosleeping are the only way for my family, am I conforming to the "AP" stereotype? If I get angry that women make less money than men, am I conforming to the "angry feminist" stereotype?
I don't understand what you are trying to say here.

I think it is wrong to condone/encourage young girls to wax/pluck/tweeze/shave. It starts the whole 'body image' problems and really does cause a blow to their self-esteem/self-confidence.
~member~ is offline  
#51 of 555 Old 07-31-2006, 01:18 PM
 
wonderwahine's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2006
Location: wi fi didnt do it!
Posts: 17,724
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
I was self confident enough to not start shaving my legs until i was 14, and as for my eyebrows, i didnt even know you could do anything to them until i was in a cosmetic chemisty and make up artistry class at 17.
wonderwahine is offline  
#52 of 555 Old 07-31-2006, 01:20 PM
 
lilyka's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2001
Location: Sioux Falls, SD
Posts: 18,301
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 1 Post(s)
Iwould let my dds wax thier eyebrows probably at a younger age than I would let them shave thier lags. M has normal eyebrows (a little shaping would lok nice but wouldn't change a lot) but Ls are like mine and extremely heavy. when i slack off the waxing they actually get in my line of vision. they are that kind of bush. My stylist does a very conservative natrual looking job of waxing and still takes over 2/3 of my eyebrow. I take care of my upper lip since it all has to go. Lily's eybrows are like mine except connected in the middle. poor baby. I wouldn't deny her this one little vanity. she als has the hairiest legs I have ever seen. and little pointy tufts of hair on top of her ears.

The truest answer to violence is love. The truest answer to death is life. The only prevention for violence is for the heart to have no violence within it.  We cannot prevent evil through any system devised by mankind. But we can grapple with evil and defeat it, but only with love—real love.

lilyka is offline  
#53 of 555 Old 07-31-2006, 01:22 PM
 
lilyka's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2001
Location: Sioux Falls, SD
Posts: 18,301
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 1 Post(s)
and unlike shaving I think waxing/tweezing hurts enough that an 11 year old is likely to try it ansd decide life is too short for this crap i askd M what she thought and she said she would if it didn't hurt but that it wasn't worth it to her since it hurts so much.

The truest answer to violence is love. The truest answer to death is life. The only prevention for violence is for the heart to have no violence within it.  We cannot prevent evil through any system devised by mankind. But we can grapple with evil and defeat it, but only with love—real love.

lilyka is offline  
#54 of 555 Old 07-31-2006, 01:27 PM
 
Sharlla's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2005
Location: Springfield Mo
Posts: 12,045
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
My MIL's neighbor takes her 11 year old neice in to get her eyebrows done with her. I see nothing wrong with that.

Unassisted birthing, atheist, poly, bi WOHM to 4 wonderful, smart homeschooling kids Wes (14) Seth (7) Pandora Moonlilly (2) and Nevermore Stargazer (11/2012)  Married to awesome SAH DH.

Sharlla is online now  
#55 of 555 Old 07-31-2006, 01:39 PM
 
artgoddess's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2004
Location: Suburban hell
Posts: 13,774
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
I'm a little confused as to how to answer your poll. The thread title "Do you think it's appropriate ....ANY body part waxed." is a bit more open ended a question than "SHOULD 11 year old girls get their eyebrows waxed."

I have known some girls younger who in Jr high started bleaching their arm hair, as it was very thick and dark, or plucking the uni-brow. I have known girl that have back hair, dark hair at the small of their back that they were teased incessantly about. If my daughter came to me about wanting to wax her back hair, or arm hair, i think I would go ahead and let her. But I don't know that I can say yes to your poll that 11 year old girls SHOULD wax their eyebrows. Heck, I don't even wax my eyebrows.
artgoddess is offline  
#56 of 555 Old 07-31-2006, 01:45 PM
 
Maggi315's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Pennsylvania
Posts: 2,345
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
I agree with BlueNote on this one. It's their body, they may have to deal witht the teasing or maybe it is just an expression of growing up. Maybe a way for them to take some steps toward adulthood. We don't have any more right to infringe on their self worth than the kids at school. To dismiss this kind of thing is to dismiss what they are feeling, make them feel out of control.

I don't think it's a big deal unless we make it one. Puberty is such a difficult age, it would be great if we all had the self confidence we have now back then, but really, most of us didn't. It's their road and we need to let them go down it!
Maggi315 is offline  
#57 of 555 Old 07-31-2006, 01:47 PM
 
JessicaS's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2001
Posts: 43,829
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
My dd is only five so I don't know what exactly I would do by then

but I have a "pick you battles" attitude.


Waxing eyebrows..ok, I suppose
Tiny skirts and t-shirts that say "SUPER SEXY!!!" would not be ok at all.

Not all those who wander are lost 
JessicaS is offline  
#58 of 555 Old 07-31-2006, 01:51 PM
 
mamalisa's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2002
Location: Germantown WI
Posts: 8,431
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by MamaInTheBoonies
And that is truly sad.

I don't understand what you are trying to say here.

I think it is wrong to condone/encourage young girls to wax/pluck/tweeze/shave. It starts the whole 'body image' problems and really does cause a blow to their self-esteem/self-confidence.
In my experience, not being "allowed" to shave caused more damage to my body image than if I had just shaved like everyone else. My self confidence would have been greatly improved if I had one less thing to worry about.

You're saying that self confident people don't need to conform to a stereotype, I'm saying that everything that people do is a stereotype for someone somewhere.
mamalisa is online now  
#59 of 555 Old 07-31-2006, 01:51 PM
 
Sharlla's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2005
Location: Springfield Mo
Posts: 12,045
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by Maggi315
maybe it is just an expression of growing up.
for my MIL's neighbor it is, she is absolutely stunning, she has long curly hair, looks like a young Halle Barry, is in cheer and kiarate and is a real sweet good girl. I'd say it's definitely not a self esteem issue with her. Personally I don't even think she needs to wax them, she does it mostly as a bonding thing with her aunt.

Unassisted birthing, atheist, poly, bi WOHM to 4 wonderful, smart homeschooling kids Wes (14) Seth (7) Pandora Moonlilly (2) and Nevermore Stargazer (11/2012)  Married to awesome SAH DH.

Sharlla is online now  
#60 of 555 Old 07-31-2006, 01:51 PM
 
loving-my-babies's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2004
Location: From Chile but live in Pgh, PA
Posts: 6,426
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by numom499

Question for the mamas who think its okay...do you yoruself modify your eyebrows, or wax/shave other parts of your bodies?
absolutely. and I am sooo glad my mom paid for me to go get my legs & underarms waxed every month when I expressed interest.
loving-my-babies is offline  
Reply

Quick Reply
Message:
Drag and Drop File Upload
Drag files here to attach!
Upload Progress: 0
Options

Register Now

In order to be able to post messages on the Mothering Forums forums, you must first register.
Please enter your desired user name, your email address and other required details in the form below.
User Name:
If you do not want to register, fill this field only and the name will be used as user name for your post.
Password
Please enter a password for your user account. Note that passwords are case-sensitive.
Password:
Confirm Password:
Email Address
Please enter a valid email address for yourself.
Email Address:

Log-in

Human Verification

In order to verify that you are a human and not a spam bot, please enter the answer into the following box below based on the instructions contained in the graphic.



User Tag List

Thread Tools
Show Printable Version Show Printable Version
Email this Page Email this Page


Forum Jump: 

Posting Rules  
You may post new threads
You may post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are Off