Do you think its appropriate for an 11 year old to get any body part waxed? - Page 3 - Mothering Forums

View Poll Results: Should 11 year old giirls get their eyebrows waxed?
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no 165 46.48%
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#61 of 555 Old 07-31-2006, 02:53 PM
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Originally Posted by mamalisa
In my experience, not being "allowed" to shave caused more damage to my body image than if I had just shaved like everyone else. My self confidence would have been greatly improved if I had one less thing to worry about.

You're saying that self confident people don't need to conform to a stereotype, I'm saying that everything that people do is a stereotype for someone somewhere.
No where did I say that it should be 'not allowed'. I am saying that a child who is raised to be self-confident will never even ask to shave/wax/tweeze.
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#62 of 555 Old 07-31-2006, 02:54 PM
 
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I don't see an issue with it. It was never an issue for me, my body hair is super light and it looks like my arms are hairless. But I do have bushy eyebrows, I wax them when I can get to the salon. If my DD has bushy eyebrows I'd let her wax if it bugged her.

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#63 of 555 Old 07-31-2006, 02:54 PM
 
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I've been shaving since I was 10 and I tweeze my brows. I trim off my personal hairs and my arm hairs with a trimmer and just shave the rest of my body. I would wax but I'm too cheap to pay for it, DH's 5 blade razor works just fine haha

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#64 of 555 Old 07-31-2006, 03:02 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by MamaInTheBoonies
No where did I say that it should be 'not allowed'. I am saying that a child who is raised to be self-confident will never even ask to shave/wax/tweeze.
In my humble opinion, that's crap. Just because someone is self confident doesn't mean they will love everything on their body as is. I'm self confident, I'm very comfortable in my own skin. I still style my hair, shave, wear clothes that flatter my figure. That's not a lack of self confidence. It's a prefrence.
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#65 of 555 Old 07-31-2006, 03:06 PM
 
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Originally Posted by mamalisa
In my humble opinion, that's crap. Just because someone is self confident doesn't mean they will love everything on their body as is. I'm self confident, I'm very comfortable in my own skin. I still style my hair, shave, wear clothes that flatter my figure. That's not a lack of self confidence. It's a prefrence.

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#66 of 555 Old 07-31-2006, 03:10 PM
 
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Originally Posted by MamaInTheBoonies
No where did I say that it should be 'not allowed'. I am saying that a child who is raised to be self-confident will never even ask to shave/wax/tweeze.
I'm going to have to disagree with this, at least as a person who finally does have self-confidence. I don't shave, because that is my preference. I don't dislike having hairy legs/pits, and I save a lot of time. I do pluck my eyebrows, because that is my preference. I do dislike the look and feel of my eyebrows unplucked. I do get my hair cut short, because that is my preference, in that I like the way it looks as opposed to longer, and regarding greater ease/comfort.

Self confidence can't be pinned down to what one does or doesn't do, but the reasons why they do or don't do things.
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#67 of 555 Old 07-31-2006, 03:10 PM
 
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In my humble opinion, that's crap. Just because someone is self confident doesn't mean they will love everything on their body as is. I'm self confident, I'm very comfortable in my own skin. I still style my hair, shave, wear clothes that flatter my figure. That's not a lack of self confidence. It's a prefrence.
:

I a self confident person who waxs my eyebrows but I do it because I like how it looks. I'm not to keen on shaving my legs or arm pits so I do it much more rarely and only when I feel like doing it. I'm not ashamed of anyone seeing my hairy legs ot pits.

Quote:
I am saying that a child who is raised to be self-confident will never even ask to shave/wax/tweeze.
This comment is a stereotype in itself. There are tons of girls/women out there with plenty of self confidence that choose to wax. Its rude to label those people as having no self confidence.
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#68 of 555 Old 07-31-2006, 03:11 PM
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Originally Posted by mamalisa
In my humble opinion, that's crap. Just because someone is self confident doesn't mean they will love everything on their body as is.
Yes, they will. They will not see anything wrong with their body. They have no reason to modify/change it.


Quote:
Originally Posted by mamalisa
I'm self confident, I'm very comfortable in my own skin. I still style my hair, shave, wear clothes that flatter my figure. That's not a lack of self confidence. It's a preference.
Why do you 'prefer' to modify your body? To look 'good'? To look 'pretty'? To look 'different'?
IME, you wouldn't do any of the above if you truly loved/liked your body.
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#69 of 555 Old 07-31-2006, 03:15 PM
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Originally Posted by stellimamo
Its rude to label those people as having no self confidence.
Lack of self-confidence in their bodies, then. Is that better?
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#70 of 555 Old 07-31-2006, 03:22 PM
 
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Originally Posted by MamaInTheBoonies
Yes, they will. They will not see anything wrong with their body. They have no reason to modify/change it.


Why do you 'prefer' to modify your body? To look 'good'? To look 'pretty'? To look 'different'?
IME, you wouldn't do any of the above if you truly loved/liked your body.
I feel I am pretty confident- but I like my body to be a certain way. I like to keep it in shape. I know I would lose a lot of my confidence if I were overweight because I dont ever want to be overweight. I also have certain body parts that are not my favorites, but I have worked with what I was blessed with and have accepted myself as I am- which isnt the same as loving every single inch of my body without any questions. But I work with my body to keep my confidence up
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#71 of 555 Old 07-31-2006, 03:24 PM
 
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This thread is going to go well.


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#72 of 555 Old 07-31-2006, 03:25 PM
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It's her body, she can remove the hair from it if she wishes.

Same if she wants peircings or tatoos. Well the tatoos, I'd have to make damn sure and get her to think real hard on the design because she'll have to live with it forever...but peircings? Her body her choice, she can always take the jewlery out and let it close over if she gets tired of it later.

It's not my place to tell another human being what to do with his/her body. I can let them know I dont approve of it, but it's their final decision.
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#73 of 555 Old 07-31-2006, 03:28 PM
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Originally Posted by loving-my-babies
I feel I am pretty confident- but I like my body to be a certain way. I like to keep it in shape. I know I would lose a lot of my confidence if I were overweight because I dont ever want to be overweight. I also have certain body parts that are not my favorites, but I have worked with what I was blessed with and have accepted myself as I am- which isnt the same as loving every single inch of my body without any questions. But I work with my body to keep my confidence up
ITA. But keeping in shape/keeping your body healthy are not the same as shaping your natural eyebrows to 'look' a certain way, or shaving your legs to keep from being teased.
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#74 of 555 Old 07-31-2006, 03:31 PM
 
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yes, that's true MITB but I dont know that I would like to be hairy?? I shave/wax because I dont like body hair.

OTOH, I can totally understand your POV. I have always wondered about people that have plastic/cosmetic surgery like a boob job, or a face lift, or a rhinoplasty, etc.. and say "I was totally self confident pre-surgery" I don't really get that because if you're so confident, why did you change it?
I have struggled with this myself, my whole life I have wanted to get a rhinoplasty and I probably would if I had the money, but I have wondered if it's just best to work on my confidence instead of changing my body to meet the idea of what beauty means to me because of what I have learned from the world. kwim?
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#75 of 555 Old 07-31-2006, 03:34 PM
 
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Originally Posted by MamaInTheBoonies
Yes, they will. They will not see anything wrong with their body. They have no reason to modify/change it.


Why do you 'prefer' to modify your body? To look 'good'? To look 'pretty'? To look 'different'?
IME, you wouldn't do any of the above if you truly loved/liked your body.
My self confidence doesn't lie in how I look. Do you brush your hair? Does that mean you're not self confident in how you look? Brushing your hair is modifying your appearance, right?

I don't think self confidence is the same thing as thinking you are perfect just as you are. I get the feeling that you think self conffidence=no room for improvement.
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#76 of 555 Old 07-31-2006, 03:40 PM
 
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Originally Posted by loving-my-babies
OTOH, I can totally understand your POV. I have always wondered about people that have plastic/cosmetic surgery like a boob job, or a face lift, or a rhinoplasty, etc.. and say "I was totally self confident pre-surgery" I don't really get that because if you're so confident, why did you change it?
I have struggled with this myself, my whole life I have wanted to get a rhinoplasty and I probably would if I had the money, but I have wondered if it's just best to work on my confidence instead of changing my body to meet the idea of what beauty means to me because of what I have learned from the world. kwim?
i agree........i hate people like that...........especially boob job and lipo ones......they are like "oh i love my body just the way it is!" and yet they still get a boob job or lipo. which obviously shows they didn't.

I shave my legs and underarms because..........after a while it gets annoying and itchy LOL but i have to either wear a strapless top or my legs start itching before i shave or realise i need to again.
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#77 of 555 Old 07-31-2006, 03:53 PM
 
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Originally Posted by MamaInTheBoonies
I think it is wrong to condone/encourage young girls to wax/pluck/tweeze/shave. It starts the whole 'body image' problems and really does cause a blow to their self-esteem/self-confidence.
No one said anything about condoning/encouraging it. They are talking about allowing a girl to choose for herself. Allowing my dd to make decisions like that is part of her growing up, and if she chooses to do so, then great. Providing a safe environment for her not to sneak around and do it is vital to me.

And dd is almost 12, and shaves her pitsand has shaved her legs. Her choice to do when she wants. She is well aware it is a personal choice and totally up to her wether she shaves or leaves it.
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#78 of 555 Old 07-31-2006, 03:53 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Originally Posted by Jennifer3141
children are children for such a short period of time. I will encourage my DD to stay young without worrying about adult behavior for as long as possible.

well put
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#79 of 555 Old 07-31-2006, 03:54 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by mamalisa
My self confidence doesn't lie in how I look. Do you brush your hair? Does that mean you're not self confident in how you look? Brushing your hair is modifying your appearance, right?
No, brushing your hair is hygenic and safety related.

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Originally Posted by mamalisa
I don't think self confidence is the same thing as thinking you are perfect just as you are. I get the feeling that you think self confidence=no room for improvement.
I am of the camp that believes the human body is beautiful in all it's differences. There is no such thing as "improvement" when it comes to waxing/shaving/plucking.
It's like saying the junky car will run better if only it looks better. That is not true. It will still not run well.
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#80 of 555 Old 07-31-2006, 03:59 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Originally Posted by romans_mum
i agree........i hate people like that...........especially boob job and lipo ones......they are like "oh i love my body just the way it is!" and yet they still get a boob job or lipo. which obviously shows they didn't.

I shave my legs and underarms because..........after a while it gets annoying and itchy LOL but i have to either wear a strapless top or my legs start itching before i shave or realise i need to again.
If you let it grow long enough, it really doesn't itch
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#81 of 555 Old 07-31-2006, 04:00 PM
 
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This is an interesting and timely (for me) topic, as my 4 year old has been asking me about the hair that just started growing on her legs, and asking a few questions about shaving.

First of all, I have to respectfully disagree w/MITB's assertion that a self-confident person will have no need to do anything to change his/her body. My DH is one of the most self-confident people I know and he has a helluva unibrow, which he plucks because he knows he looks better with two brows as opposed to one.

I also think this argument is a little (although not entirely) like the abstinence one - teens *should* abstain from sex. Kids *should* have self-confidence and not want to tinker with their body hair. Sure, yeah, ideally, they should! But not allowing a child who wants to rid herself of bodyhair to do so in the name of instilling self-confidence does not strike me as the best approach.

I am of english descent and am pretty hairless. My arms look bald and what little hair there is is blonde and fine. Legs a little hairier but not much so. I have never thought much about my body or facial hair (and lackadasically shave when I feel like it) but from my friends who are hairier I know excess facial, etc hair can be very distressing for some. DD is going to be a hairy one, I can tell, since she seems to have inherited this trait from my italian and very hirsuite (sp?!) DH. I have already decided that I will gently encourage her to accept her body and its variations as normal and beautiful, but I'll give her free reign to shave or otherwise remove hair from whatever age feels right for her.

Not sure I'd support an 11 year old getting a brazilian, however . . .:

Mama to 2 mopheaded rascals
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#82 of 555 Old 07-31-2006, 04:01 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Irishmommy
No one said anything about condoning/encouraging it. They are talking about allowing a girl to choose for herself. Allowing my dd to make decisions like that is part of her growing up, and if she chooses to do so, then great. Providing a safe environment for her not to sneak around and do it is vital to me.
See, if my dd chose to do so, I would not think it was "great". I would think it was "great" if she chose not to and chose instead to love/like her body the way it was made.

I would also really question why my dc would need to sneak around. That would signal to me an unhealthy behavior.

If my dd did decide to shave/wax I wouldn't stop her, but I would have a talk with her about why she is choosing to do so.
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#83 of 555 Old 07-31-2006, 04:02 PM - Thread Starter
 
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[QUOTE=MamaInTheBoonies]
I am of the camp that believes the human body is beautiful in all it's differences. There is no such thing as "improvement" when it comes to waxing/shaving/plucking.QUOTE]


This is exactly my point. Why wouldn't a mama encourage her daughter that her body IS perfect, rather thatn going down the whole waxing plucking,shaving road? I guess it also begs the question, for grown women, why are YOU shaving, etc? If you say that you like the way it looks, I wonder why you like the way it looks? Don't you think you've been dconditioned to like the way it looks?

And is that the conditioning you really want to encourage in your daughters?

What if celebrities all started having natural body hair, do you think that would change how you feel about it?
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#84 of 555 Old 07-31-2006, 04:08 PM
 
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its slightly OT but monique (the AA comedian) doesnt shave her legs!
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#85 of 555 Old 07-31-2006, 04:10 PM
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And is that the conditioning you really want to encourage in your daughters?
Excelent question.
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#86 of 555 Old 07-31-2006, 04:14 PM
 
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No, brushing your hair is hygenic and safety related.
How about cutting or coloring one's hair? If you do it in a way that it is fashionable does that mean you have no self confidence? Because really how different is cutting compared to waxing, both processes get rid of unwanted hair in a non perminate way.
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#87 of 555 Old 07-31-2006, 04:20 PM
 
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sometimes cutting your hair is health related, eg i have thick hair, if it gets to long i get migranes.
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#88 of 555 Old 07-31-2006, 04:23 PM
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Originally Posted by stellimamo
How about cutting or coloring one's hair? If you do it in a way that it is fashionable does that mean you have no self confidence? Because really how different is cutting compared to waxing, both processes get rid of unwanted hair in a non perminate way.
Fashionable is a nice way of saying 'conforming'. Again, if you feel the need to cut your hair or style it to be 'fashionable', then yes, I would dare say you are lacking in self-confidence in your body image. I am not saying that one has NO self-confidence, but that it is not strong.
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#89 of 555 Old 07-31-2006, 04:25 PM
 
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Originally Posted by loving-my-babies
yes, that's true MITB but I dont know that I would like to be hairy?? I shave/wax because I dont like body hair.

OTOH, I can totally understand your POV. I have always wondered about people that have plastic/cosmetic surgery like a boob job, or a face lift, or a rhinoplasty, etc.. and say "I was totally self confident pre-surgery" I don't really get that because if you're so confident, why did you change it?
I have struggled with this myself, my whole life I have wanted to get a rhinoplasty and I probably would if I had the money, but I have wondered if it's just best to work on my confidence instead of changing my body to meet the idea of what beauty means to me because of what I have learned from the world. kwim?
I'm self confident and plan on getting breast implants after my children are done nursing. It has nothing to do with boosting my confidence and everything to do with wanting to A)look better (which is not the same as I won't be confident unless my breasts are bigger) and B) to help my clothes fit better. After having kids and nursing my breasts, which started out as perfectly wonderful perky things, turned into pancakes. Long, floppy pancakes. If you don't mind your breasts looking like that, great. Don't alter them. I, however, don't. I think they look weird. I plan to fill them back up to their prepregnancy size and I plan to be able to walk around in the summer time in halter tops and spaghetti strap dresses w/o worrying.
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#90 of 555 Old 07-31-2006, 04:26 PM
 
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Maybe it's my age or something, but waxing seems weird to me. I have never in my entire life waxed any part of my body, nor do I intend to. It just sounds painful and miserable. Nobody waxed when I was younger. I guess it's coming to be a common thing, even around here in the small-town midwest. But waxing just seems extreme to me. If a kid wanted to pluck a few heavy hairs or something, I don't think I'd object. But for some reason, waxing sounds so much more extreme. Showing my age now... LOL! Is that weird or do others think there's any difference waxing or plucking/shaving?

Just the thought of waxing makes me shudder...
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