Do you think its appropriate for an 11 year old to get any body part waxed? - Page 6 - Mothering Forums

View Poll Results: Should 11 year old giirls get their eyebrows waxed?
yes 190 53.52%
no 165 46.48%
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#151 of 555 Old 07-31-2006, 07:12 PM
 
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Originally Posted by RiverSky


I'm guessing that on MDC, we have a large percentage (half even? LOL) of self-confessed freaks and this comment just wreaks of hilariousness. : : : : : :
I've been called a freak once or twice in my life so I'm glad you could find the humor in the statement.
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#152 of 555 Old 07-31-2006, 07:18 PM
 
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Originally Posted by RiverSky
I wish I still had all my graphic links to share with you (I might have shared them on MDC before) but there are very real risks to getting breast implants. Even saline implants are encased in silicone, which makes soooo many women very sick. Even plastic surgeons and breast implant manufacturers suggest that breast implants be replaced every ten years, so someone who gets breast implants should be planning to be able to afford multiple surgeries for the rest of their lives, assuming ALL GOES WELL.
I know the risks. I've seen the links. Again, I'm not a total idiot and, as a reasonable, responsible adult I am willing to take those risks.

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So let's budget $2500-4000 every ten years (assuming everything is hunky dory and no extra surgeries are needed), that's $250-400 a year spent on breast implant surgery...not even including any time off work, etc., and this money could INSTEAD be spent on TAILORS altering all of your clothing to make it fit better, to personalize it and tailor it to your particular body type.

No health risks, no downtime, and no toxic silicone injected into your precious vessel.
I'm a SAHM so there will be no time taken off work. I don't want to have to take all of my clothes to tailors. I already said that. What a pain in the ass. Not to mention, this is MY body and MY choice and I am tired of entertaining someone elses ideals about what I should look like and do with MY body. Oh, what's that you say? We shouldn't be conforming to someone elses idea of what we should look like...just so long as we don't do anything that offends YOU and your idea of what we should look like and do. Silly.


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Anyway, I LOVE my body. My body has grown and nourished and held and cuddled my beloved family and I wouldn't do anything to change it (even though it'd be heavenly to not have to try on 20 cute shirts to find one that fits - if there even is one). I am sad that others haven't been able to find that kind of contentment with their bodies.
I, too, love my body and am sad that others haven't been able to find contentment with their bodies. I mean, look at all those people with body dismorphia and eating disorders. It's very, very sad.
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#153 of 555 Old 07-31-2006, 07:20 PM
 
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I voted yes. Being 11 is hard enough without the added bonus of being self-concious about your eyebrows. I mean.. it's hair. It grows back. And, she'll just tweeze them if she's really stuck on them.
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#154 of 555 Old 07-31-2006, 07:21 PM
 
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I voted yes.

I would let my daughter wax her eyebrows as long as she made an educated decision about it. ( knew what was involved, the costs, etc. )

Although, deep down, I would be a little bit sad that she isn't happy with her appearance.

I wish it wasn't true, but our society can be cruel when it comes to appearance, so I can understand an 11 year old doing it if it was to help her self-esteem.

Do I wax? No. Ouch. Well, when I made some candles I had wax fall on my arms, and I had to pick it off, along with a lot of hairs. I was crying by the time I was done.

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#155 of 555 Old 07-31-2006, 07:25 PM
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Originally Posted by happymomwith5

I wish it wasn't true, but our society can be cruel when it comes to appearance, so I can understand an 11 year old doing it if it was to help her self-esteem.
How do you think it would help her self-esteem?
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#156 of 555 Old 07-31-2006, 07:28 PM
 
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How do you think it would help her self-esteem?
Make her feel more confident about her appearance.

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#157 of 555 Old 07-31-2006, 07:29 PM
 
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Originally Posted by wende
Oh, what's that you say? We shouldn't be conforming to someone elses idea of what we should look like...just so long as we don't do anything that offends YOU and your idea of what we should look like and do.
Nope, I didn't say any of that.

It doesn't offend me at all if you decide to get breast implants or do anything to change your look. I just think of the "what ifs" and what if you had the surgery and you got major infection and died or were incapacitated for 6 months or 18 months or sick for years on end, just not well enough to play with your children or take them places...I'd feel so incredibly sad for your family, that's all. Go ahead and do whatever you'd like.

My DH has a unibrow, doesn't bother me at all and he would NEVER tweeze but if either of my children ever wanted to, like really wanted to, then I think that I wouldn't make a huge fuss and try to stop them. Breast implants or liposuction will happen over my dead body, though.
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#158 of 555 Old 07-31-2006, 07:30 PM
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I have never met a kid who said, "I choose you to be my friend because you have waxed eyebrows."

It has been proven that bullies choose their victims because they have low self-esteem, low-self-confidence.

I don't understand how waxing my daughter's eyebrows will improve their self-esteem/self-worth/self-confidence.
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#159 of 555 Old 07-31-2006, 07:32 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by happymomwith5
Make her feel more confident about her appearance.
How, though? Why is she not feeling confident in the first place? What happened to lower her confidence?
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#160 of 555 Old 07-31-2006, 07:33 PM
 
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MitB, can you not remember middle school?
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#161 of 555 Old 07-31-2006, 07:35 PM
 
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I have never met a kid who said, "I choose you to be my friend because you have waxed eyebrows."
Neither have I.

I don't agree with it, it would make me sad, but I would allow it. My 10 yr ds has his ears pierced, and I wasn't thrilled about it. I gave my consent because he did research and saved up his money.

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#162 of 555 Old 07-31-2006, 07:35 PM
 
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Originally Posted by Pandora114
With me, My breasts are causing health problems. My core muscles can be as strong as steel, and have been, and my back is suffering anyway. I am waiting until I"m done nursing, but I WILL Get a reduction/Lift once everything is said and done.
My doctors always said I was eligible for breast reduction for free, as well. I also said that I'd wait until I was done nursing but I've changed my mind since. I do have some back problems but actually, inserts in my shoes prescribed by our massage therapist have actually taken my back pains away (well, in addition to an amazing latex mattress). Have you ever been to a chiropractor and/or massage therapist? I would hope that there would be other ways to help your spine, but I'm just guessing.
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#163 of 555 Old 07-31-2006, 07:36 PM
 
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How, though? Why is she not feeling confident in the first place? What happened to lower her confidence?
Well, I don't think I'll send my daugher to therapy for wanting to get waxed.

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#164 of 555 Old 07-31-2006, 07:36 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by glendora
MitB, can you not remember middle school?
Yes, I remember middle school. I knew that no matter what my appearance, people were my friend because of who I was, not who I appeared to be.

I remember one girl who would go to the tanning booth, get pedicures/manicures, had her hair styled EVERY morning! (I kid you not, I went to private school where all the wealthy kids, not just rich, but wealthy attended), and no one liked her. She spent all her time worried about her appearance that she had no time to actually act like a human being.
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#165 of 555 Old 07-31-2006, 07:37 PM
 
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Originally Posted by MamaInTheBoonies
How, though? Why is she not feeling confident in the first place? What happened to lower her confidence?
Cruel comments from other children? No matter how self-confident someone is, words can still hurt, especially to a pre-teen.

I got a lot of hurtful comments right around that age...I have several moles on my face, and kids could get MEAN about them. No amount of reassurance from friends and family could make me feel better. Didn't matter that I was the smartest kid in class or the most musically talented, I was the weird one with the funny face.

I was so mad at my parents when they wouldn't let me have them removed. To this day, if I think about how "freakish" other kids made me feel, I still sometimes want to have them removed.

And yes, I am very confident in myself as an adult. As a child, maybe not so much.
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#166 of 555 Old 07-31-2006, 07:39 PM
 
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MITB-- I understand where you are coming from, I really do. But I'm just saying, I would respect her decision.

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#167 of 555 Old 07-31-2006, 07:41 PM
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Originally Posted by kate42
Cruel comments from other children? No matter how self-confident someone is, words can still hurt, especially to a pre-teen.

I got a lot of hurtful comments right around that age...I have several moles on my face, and kids could get MEAN about them. No amount of reassurance from friends and family could make me feel better. Didn't matter that I was the smartest kid in class or the most musically talented, I was the weird one with the funny face.

I was so mad at my parents when they wouldn't let me have them removed. To this day, if I think about how "freakish" other kids made me feel, I still sometimes want to have them removed.

And yes, I am very confident in myself as an adult. As a child, maybe not so much.
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#168 of 555 Old 07-31-2006, 07:43 PM
 
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Originally Posted by MamaInTheBoonies
Yes, I remember middle school. I knew that no matter what my appearance, people were my friend because of who I was, not who I appeared to be.

I remember one girl who would go to the tanning booth, get pedicures/manicures, had her hair styled EVERY morning! (I kid you not, I went to private school where all the wealthy kids, not just rich, but wealthy attended), and no one liked her. She spent all her time worried about her appearance that she had no time to actually act like a human being.
I wish I went to your middle school. I remember mine and it was certainly not anything similar to the one you attended. People were teased due to looks/material possessions daily. Your school must not have consisted of average 11-14 year olds. That age group can be vicious. Trust me, I remember with astounding clarity the levels of viciousness that were present.
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#169 of 555 Old 07-31-2006, 07:45 PM
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Originally Posted by RiverSky
My doctors always said I was eligible for breast reduction for free, as well. I also said that I'd wait until I was done nursing but I've changed my mind since. I do have some back problems but actually, inserts in my shoes prescribed by our massage therapist have actually taken my back pains away (well, in addition to an amazing latex mattress). Have you ever been to a chiropractor and/or massage therapist? I would hope that there would be other ways to help your spine, but I'm just guessing.
Even the chiro suggested a reduction because the weight will just gradually warp my spine even more than it already is...

It *IS* a breast weight problem..

I'm waiting till I'm done nursing then off to the dr for a refferal...

Not looking forward to the recovery but if it makes my long term quality of life better, so be it...
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#170 of 555 Old 07-31-2006, 07:47 PM
 
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This thread was started because waxing is unnatural. Either for an adult, or a child, it is unnatural. As much as I love to strive for natural living, I cannot force my children to follow my lifestyle, nor would I want to force them. They will live their lives the way they want to live it.

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#171 of 555 Old 07-31-2006, 07:48 PM
 
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I have to say something on this thread, and it may offend some people but I don't think it will get it shut down.

There seem to be some women who feel that women, and their daughters SHOULD feel a certain way. And if they don't feel the way a few women on this thread think that they should feel they are going to condescend, shame and criticize. I'm not talking your standard "Why is MDC so judgmental" complaint we hear time and time again, but specific needling, passive aggressive, and holier than thou attitudes. I find it really sad that anyone ever would tell another person how they should feel. I find it especially distasteful on a board that fosters gentle discipline would use shame as a means for getting their point across.

One rarely changes a persons mind or makes them reconsider the way they feel about something by making the person you want to convince feel bad about themselves.
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#172 of 555 Old 07-31-2006, 07:51 PM
 
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Originally Posted by artgoddess
I have to say something on this thread, and it may offend some people but I don't think it will get it shut down.

There seem to be some women who feel that women, and their daughters SHOULD feel a certain way. And if they don't feel the way a few women on this thread think that they should feel they are going to condescend, shame and criticize. I'm not talking your standard "Why is MDC so judgmental" complaint we hear time and time again, but specific needling, passive aggressive, and holier than thou attitudes. I find it really sad that anyone ever would tell another person how they should feel. I find it especially distasteful on a board that fosters gentle discipline would use shame as a means for getting their point across.

One rarely changes a persons mind or makes them reconsider the way they feel about something by making the person you want to convince feel bad about themselves.
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#173 of 555 Old 07-31-2006, 07:54 PM
 
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Originally Posted by artgoddess
I have to say something on this thread, and it may offend some people but I don't think it will get it shut down.

There seem to be some women who feel that women, and their daughters SHOULD feel a certain way. And if they don't feel the way a few women on this thread think that they should feel they are going to condescend, shame and criticize. I'm not talking your standard "Why is MDC so judgmental" complaint we hear time and time again, but specific needling, passive aggressive, and holier than thou attitudes. I find it really sad that anyone ever would tell another person how they should feel. I find it especially distasteful on a board that fosters gentle discipline would use shame as a means for getting their point across.

One rarely changes a persons mind or makes them reconsider the way they feel about something by making the person you want to convince feel bad about themselves.
I was in the process of applauding this post and CrazyRED beat me to it. However, ITA. Nicely articulated.
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#174 of 555 Old 07-31-2006, 07:57 PM
 
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Originally Posted by MamaInTheBoonies
I see nothing wrong with questioning why mothers are okay conditioning their daughters to conform to unrealistic societal 'norms'.
Where is anyone communicating that they're interested in/okay with conditioning their daughters to conform to anything? Supporting choice is not the same thing!
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Originally Posted by MamaInTheBoonies
I never said to deny them their rights to their bodies. I did ask why not instill a sense of self-confidence in their body?
It seems to me that if I had my dd's eyebrows waxed at age 11, it would be a clear sign that I don't consider her to be attractive.
I would agree with you that signing a child up for a little cosmetic action without them expressing a desire on their own would not be too cool, and I think it would communicate something unfortunate. But nobody here is advocating for that.
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#175 of 555 Old 07-31-2006, 07:59 PM
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Originally Posted by 2happymamas
I wish I went to your middle school. I remember mine and it was certainly not anything similar to the one you attended. People were teased due to looks/material possessions daily. Your school must not have consisted of average 11-14 year olds. That age group can be vicious. Trust me, I remember with astounding clarity the levels of viciousness that were present.
It DID consist of that and worse. There were a lot of girls/boys with eating disorders. One girl died from anorexia.
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#176 of 555 Old 07-31-2006, 07:59 PM
 
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Originally Posted by happymomwith5
This thread was started because waxing is unnatural. Either for an adult, or a child, it is unnatural. As much as I love to strive for natural living, I cannot force my children to follow my lifestyle, nor would I want to force them. They will live their lives the way they want to live it.
Ya know, haircuts are "unnatural" too, but no one is going to claim that your dd has no self-esteem and that you're brainwashing them with cultural norms if a kid wants a haircut, right?

Just saying.

I think the real issue here isn't the natural or unaturalness of eyebrow waxing--it's that eyebrow waxing sounds grown-up. For the record, my little brother started waxing his unibrow in 6th or 7th grade, and he's downright cocky. No self-esteem issues there.
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#177 of 555 Old 07-31-2006, 08:02 PM
 
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Ya know, haircuts are "unnatural" too, but no one is going to claim that your dd has no self-esteem and that you're brainwashing them with cultural norms if a kid wants a haircut, right?
No way! I worded it wrong I think. I was trying to say that although I wouldn't want her get waxed because I think it is unnatural, what she thinks could be totally different.

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#178 of 555 Old 07-31-2006, 08:02 PM
 
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Absolutely it would be ok.
I have a mother would wouldn't allow me to wear nail polish or even nylons as a child. When she finally, FINALLY looked at my leg hair at the age of 9 (after begging for months to shave) she gave her consent.
My brother took the electric shaver and after every swipe he had to unclog the razor - my hair was so thick.
To have one less thing to be teased about what was wonderful.
It had nothing to do with self-confidence. It had everything to do with the fact I was freakishly hairy, it was MY body, and my mother didn't have to go to school everyday and hear about being compared to a yeti.


For the record, I dyed my hair at 14, I got ear piercing at 11, cartlidge piercing at 13, and a nose piercing at 15, and an industrial piercing at 21.
Only body modification I have ever done.
Getting rid of my hair did not lead me down a path of trying to be like Paris Hilton. Some times a bit more realist and a bit less idealist does this board good.

I would let me daughters shave/wax if they were being teased and felt worried by it.
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#179 of 555 Old 07-31-2006, 08:02 PM
 
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I voted yes on eyebrow waxing. I can't think of any reason not to allow it. I agree with the above poster that haircuts are "unnatural." Of course, I have huge, bushy eyebrows without plucking, and waxing does a better job. I would not allow my 11 year old to get a brazilian, but waxing eyebrows is fine.
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#180 of 555 Old 07-31-2006, 08:03 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by secretresistance
Where is anyone communicating that they're interested in/okay with conditioning their daughters to conform to anything? Supporting choice is not the same thing!
Yes, if that choice is based on appeasing their peers based upon appearance. Saying that you are okay with letting your child wax their eyebrows because they have low-self esteem seems a really backwards way of raising a child's esteem.

Quote:
Originally Posted by secretresistance
I would agree with you that signing a child up for a little cosmetic action without them expressing a desire on their own would not be too cool, and I think it would communicate something unfortunate. But nobody here is advocating for that.
I know.
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