Do you think its appropriate for an 11 year old to get any body part waxed? - Mothering Forums
View Poll Results: Should 11 year old giirls get their eyebrows waxed?
yes 190 53.52%
no 165 46.48%
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#1 of 555 Old 07-30-2006, 04:13 PM - Thread Starter
 
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I have heard of young girls getting cody parts waxed lately.


I think this is sad that already young girl is feeling like her body needs modification.. I would rather try and build up this girls self esteem rather than encourage her to change herself, or to think of herself as "wrong" in some way. What are your thoughts? About waxing, please. Not about whether or not their should be a poll on this
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#2 of 555 Old 07-30-2006, 04:21 PM
 
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If the girl has odd facial hair, yeah, I'd support waxing or tweezing. It's easier to pluck a few strays then to have to deal with ridicule in school.
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#3 of 555 Old 07-30-2006, 04:22 PM
 
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My little sister is very very hairy and she started waxing eyebrows and legs in grade 6 when other kids started making fun of her. So yeah I say that if they want to....got for it.

Vanessa belly.gif, wife to Kev , mama to Byron (5) wild.gif and Billie (2) and  due in June
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#4 of 555 Old 07-30-2006, 04:22 PM
 
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I started (secretly) shaving my legs at that age. I have really dark hair and was being teased at school so I grabbed my Moms razor from the edge of the tub one day and did it. She found out (walked in on me actually) and boy did I catch hell! Got the whole "you'll be sorry....hair will be thicker.....now youll have to do it all the time" speech

I guess what I am getting at is that it is a relatively minor, reversable thing that made a big difference in my self confidence and self esteem. I can't see anything wrong with waxing at that age either if positive results come of it

At the same time, I do agree that it is sad that a girl would think she "needs" alteration, but I can understand where she is comming from. If it was my daughter and she wanted to do it, I would support her.

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#5 of 555 Old 07-30-2006, 04:24 PM
 
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Cosmetic waxing ~ no!

As previously posted, if it was for the childs 'emotional well being' ~ Yes.


Then again, I know girls now days that are shaving their pits and legs at 9 yrs old.

I would not let my daughter shave at 9.
When I was a child my mother always said I could shave when I started my period.. so for 12 years I had THE hairest legs in gradeschool.
Ironicly enough, I dont shave now I am proud of my hairy legs (I do shave a few times a year.)
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#6 of 555 Old 07-30-2006, 04:25 PM
 
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I think preteens are old enough to know if they want facial (or leg) hair removed or not, and have a basic understanding of what's involved in hair removal. Would I encourage my child to have waxing at age 11? Absolutely not- I intend to gently encourage my girls to embrace their body hair when it starts to grow, but I will allow my girls to shave or wax (and make sure they do so safely) if they want to.

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#7 of 555 Old 07-30-2006, 04:25 PM - Thread Starter
 
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thanks for all your replies. I guess it just really saddens me that women in general think that their hair is "wrong" but now young girls, I mean 1 1 really is still a child, think that their bodies are not okay jsut the way they are. Its a shame that anyone would make a girl feel bad about her body hair (meaning other students, etc). I wonder if "hairiness" is treated differently in cultures where even the grown women are more natural about it...
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#8 of 555 Old 07-30-2006, 04:26 PM
 
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Honestly, it's none of my business.

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#9 of 555 Old 07-30-2006, 04:27 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by chersolly
If the girl has odd facial hair, yeah, I'd support waxing or tweezing. It's easier to pluck a few strays then to have to deal with ridicule in school.
I agree with this. But I think it is very sad that girls this young are already teasing one another over things like this. Girls this age shouldn't care, KWIM?
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#10 of 555 Old 07-30-2006, 04:27 PM
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No, Self confidence and self-esteem are more important to me than the rare chance of ridicule. I want my children to be able to be loved for who they are not what they look like.
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#11 of 555 Old 07-30-2006, 04:28 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Ruthla
I think preteens are old enough to know if they want facial (or leg) hair removed or not, and have a basic understanding of what's involved in hair removal. Would I encourage my child to have waxing at age 11? Absolutely not- I intend to gently encourage my girls to embrace their body hair when it starts to grow, but I will allow my girls to shave or wax (and make sure they do so safely) if they want to.
:
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#12 of 555 Old 07-30-2006, 04:29 PM
 
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Do I think they *Should* wax, not necessarilly. Do I think it's fine for them to wax? Sure.

Kids get teased about all sorts of things and I think if a minor cosmetic fix, such as waxing, can change that, what's the big deal? It's not like they're getting breast implants at 11 years old. It's no different than wearing mascara.
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#13 of 555 Old 07-30-2006, 04:32 PM
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Here is an interesting article I found...
http://www.straightdope.com/classics/a3_012.html
Quote:
notes that Greek statues of women in antiquity had no pubic hair, suggesting that hairlessness was some sort of ideal of feminine beauty embedded in Western culture.
Quote:
If so, a lot of Western culture never got the message. Greek women today (and Mediterranean women generally) do not shave their hair. The practice has been confined largely to English-speaking women of North America and Great Britain, although one hears that it's slowly spreading elsewhere.
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#14 of 555 Old 07-30-2006, 04:33 PM
 
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I feel that allowing her this is respecting her feelings. She is a person with wants and needs and eyebrow waxing is such a little thing. I understand people not wanting to kowtow to the establishment and such, but why push this at the expense of a child's self esteem? At some point, she may change her mind and quit waxing/shaving/whatever all together. But until then, make it her choice, not your choice for her.
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#15 of 555 Old 07-30-2006, 04:35 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by messy mama
Honestly, it's none of my business.
I asked only for opinions on whether or not the waxing is appropriate. I specifically asked that you not comment on whether or not the poll was okay. Thanks
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#16 of 555 Old 07-30-2006, 04:36 PM
 
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no, i dont thinks its appropriate to wax........if shes got a monobrow then some plucking, but i think thats to adult for an 11yr old.
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#17 of 555 Old 07-30-2006, 04:38 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by wende
Do I think they *Should* wax, not necessarilly. Do I think it's fine for them to wax? Sure.

Kids get teased about all sorts of things and I think if a minor cosmetic fix, such as waxing, can change that, what's the big deal? It's not like they're getting breast implants at 11 years old. It's no different than wearing mascara.
I think that the modification of one part of the body leads them to modify other parts of the body, or think that other parts of the body are not okay.

Question for the mamas who think its okay...do you yoruself modify your eyebrows, or wax/shave other parts of your bodies?

I can understand a girl wanting to wax if she is particularly hairy, it just mostly makes me sad that we live in a society that makes someone feel like they need to wax at all, especially a child.
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#18 of 555 Old 07-30-2006, 04:39 PM
 
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Nope. Not at all, given no additional information. But ita that if she has a very unusual amount of hair then it would be ok. I don't think it's appropriate for children to dye their hair either (other than fun or funky colors--green or purple is cool, but to try improve on nature to make it more 'beautiful' would be odd), but in the case of a child going very prematurely grey I can sympathize wanting to cover that up.
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#19 of 555 Old 07-30-2006, 04:45 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by numom499
I asked only for opinions on whether or not the waxing is appropriate. I specifically asked that you not comment on whether or not the poll was okay. Thanks
I never said it wasn't OK for you to do a poll. That is also none of my business. I was just answering you question. Your welcome.

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#20 of 555 Old 07-30-2006, 04:46 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by numom499
I think that the modification of one part of the body leads them to modify other parts of the body, or think that other parts of the body are not okay.
ITA. A self-confident person won't give a flying hoot what others 'see'.
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#21 of 555 Old 07-30-2006, 04:47 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by MamaInTheBoonies
ITA. A self-confident person won't give a flying hoot what others 'see'.
Yeah, you're right. But they might give a flying hoot about what they see.

Heather, mama to          
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#22 of 555 Old 07-30-2006, 04:50 PM
 
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BUT, it also is totally part of personal expression. For example, my 4 year old son wants to have long hair and dress in pink. I don't have a problem with that.

My daughter, OTOH, wanted her hair short. It's what she wants. And validating that choice is validating her as a person.

My two year old son doesn't want his hair cut, so we don't.

This 11 year old girl/woman (and that is what they are) is trying to find herself. Allowing experimentation within set parameters is allowing her to make her own choices, thereby making herself more confident, more able to withstand pressure later.

This is a LITTLE thing. Modifying your body is part of all cultures. To push the "you're beautiful no matter what" on an 11 year old who may not feel that way is just running over her feelings and not recognizing her for a sovereign being.
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#23 of 555 Old 07-30-2006, 04:54 PM
 
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I don't think it is inappropriate.
If the child is concerned about excess facial or body hair than I think as a parent you should give your child the options and respect the child's right to choose. It isn't surgery. I don't feel removing facial or body hair by waxing or tweezing is different than a hair cut.

If my dd told me that she wanted to remove some hair I'd take her concerns seriously and talk to her about it. I'd let her know that if she wanted to do that then there are some options. I'd explain the options and let her decide. If my dd never wants to shave or wax I'll be supportive of that too.

Kim ~mom to one awesome dd (12)

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#24 of 555 Old 07-30-2006, 05:07 PM
 
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I don't have a problem with an 11 year old waxing or shaving. By the time I was 11 I looked like bigfoot, and I shaved regularly. I didn't start plucking/waxing my brows until much later but I never got teased about it either.

I just got tired of looking like I had small woodland creatures living on my forehead.
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#25 of 555 Old 07-30-2006, 05:08 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by numom499
I think that the modification of one part of the body leads them to modify other parts of the body, or think that other parts of the body are not okay.

Question for the mamas who think its okay...do you yoruself modify your eyebrows, or wax/shave other parts of your bodies?

I can understand a girl wanting to wax if she is particularly hairy, it just mostly makes me sad that we live in a society that makes someone feel like they need to wax at all, especially a child.
Well, I guess I disagree. I started plucking my eyebrows when I was 11 or 12. That didn't lead to me needing to modify the rest of my body in any way that I'd not have done otherwise. I mean, yes I dye my hair and I cut my hair and I sometimes wear make up and when I feel like it I shave my legs, armpits and bikini area. Would those things not have happened had I never plucked my eyebrows?

I get teased because I have hairy arms, but I've never thought "hey, maybe I should wax them!"

I don't see anything wrong with being pretty and feeling pretty. I don't think that we should feel like we have to play dress up and shave and wax, but I don't think that we should be made to feel like we're shallow human beings if we do either.
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#26 of 555 Old 07-30-2006, 05:08 PM
 
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Its her hair, she can remove it if she wants.
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#27 of 555 Old 07-30-2006, 05:15 PM
 
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I voted no, them I started to think about mustache waxing. At 11 it might be an issue if it is an issue, kwim?
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#28 of 555 Old 07-30-2006, 05:20 PM
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I got my eyebrows waxed around 16. Way later than I should have been allowed. It doesn't help your self image to be made fun of by all your peers, no matter how supportive your parents are.

I do think it was good to have the experience of getting them waxed first, it meant I didn't have to figure out how to shape them myself by plucking. (Which I pictured as a little off this side... little off that... even it up... little off that side... oops no more eyebrows type of experience.

I would let my daughter rid herself of body hair/ scalp hair at any age. Even younger. By denying her the choice I would be telling her that it her hair is more important to me than her feelings about the issue and creating esteem issues. IYKWIM. (BTW, don't have a daughter yet... but one day!)
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#29 of 555 Old 07-31-2006, 09:34 AM - Thread Starter
 
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okay... i totally understand why some girls would want to wax. And I understand letting themas well. It just makes me sad that young girls already feel this need to conform to a certain standatd of beauty. thats all.
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#30 of 555 Old 07-31-2006, 10:11 AM
 
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If my daughter asks me or tells me about it, I would definetely say it's ok. I wax myself and have since I was about 12.
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