Breastfeed in front of 9 y old son? - Page 2 - Mothering Forums

Forum Jump: 
 
Thread Tools
Old 08-23-2006, 04:52 PM
 
moondiapers's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2002
Location: Lakeport, California
Posts: 5,912
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 1 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by 3happygirls
I totally agree. HOWEVER these things are not so true (or practiced) in our society. Regardless of the fact that breasts (and breastfeeding) are totally natural and functional; they DO serve two purposes. :
So do my lips but I don't keep them covered.

Heather married to my highschool sweetheart 6/7/02 :cop: Mother to Dani age 14 and Timmy age 10 Nadia 1/29 :
moondiapers is offline  
Sponsored Links
Advertisement
 
Old 08-23-2006, 05:00 PM
 
Storm Bride's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2005
Location: Vancouver, BC
Posts: 25,597
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
DS1 was 10 when I had dd. I always nursed her in front of him, just as I would in front of anyone else. My breasts can be sexual, but there is nothing sexual about the act of breastfeeding. It's providing natural, healthy nourishing food to my baby - end of story.

DS1 is now 13. I've been nursing in front of him for most of the last three years (dd weaned herself when I was about 5-6 months pregnant with ds2). He's not even slightly fazed by it. I'm pretty casual about covering up when it's just ds1 around. If any of his friends are here, I'm a little more discreet, but I don't leave the room or hide what I'm doing.

DS1 has never been bothered at all. He knows I'm doing what's best for his siblings, and that's all there is to it. He's talked to girls at school about the benefits of natural birth vs. the "cascade of interventions", and shone some light on the downsides of c-sections. He sees birth and breastfeeding as perfectly normal and healthy parts of life.

You have an unbeatable teaching opportunity here. There is nothing else in the world that can educate your son about this as well as being around you when you're feeding his sibling.

Lisa, lucky mama of Kelly (3/93) ribboncesarean.gif, Emma (5/03) ribboncesarean.gif, Evan (7/05) ribboncesarean.gif, & Jenna (6/09) ribboncesarean.gif
Loving my amazing dh, James & forever missing ribbonpb.gif Aaron Ambrose ribboncesarean.gif (11/07) ribbonpb.gif

Storm Bride is offline  
Old 08-23-2006, 11:26 PM
 
Flor's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2003
Location: California
Posts: 5,119
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
My dss was 8 when I had ds. Before ds was born, dss was freaked out about bfing. Then one day at the zoo cafeteria I said, "There are 4 ladies here breastfeeding." And he was shocked because he hadn't noticed. I had to point them out. He felt so much better after that. He was afraid I was going to be flashing him and all his friends. I am discrete, but I don't go in another room or anything. Even though he's my stepson, he got used to it quickly.
Flor is offline  
Old 08-23-2006, 11:27 PM
 
MrsCorell's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2006
Location: California
Posts: 73
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
DS is 11 and he sees me nurse DD all the time. He doesn't seem to be bothered by it in the least. I've had a talk with him about how DH and I feel that "breast is best" and what that means. I hope that by seeing this, eventually he'll feel comfy helping his wife while she's nursing.
MrsCorell is offline  
Old 08-23-2006, 11:31 PM
 
wende's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2003
Location: Portland, OR
Posts: 3,049
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
My son is almost 8 and I nurse in front of him all the time. I think it's important that he sees me do it and now he's a huge lactivist.
wende is offline  
Old 08-24-2006, 01:19 AM
 
momma of monkeys's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2006
Location: Candyland
Posts: 1,478
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
My dd, 8 months old is a 'blankie remover'...she doesn't like to be covered up whiles she nurses...we are not shy about nursing around here (though a couple of s/o's single friends stare a little hard...which creeps me out)...my ds, who is 6.5 years old is very interested in bf'ing...and a little loud about it in public (ie..Hey momma, does my sister need to suck milk out of your boob??? )I just ask him to ask me about it more quietly or use different words...like nurse...ds just LOVES that he gets to say boob so much... He does know that he nursed for the first 15 months of his life and how healthy it is for babies to bf. I am sure he will want his future spouse to nurse their children...and that would make me proud as all get out!
The gist is...don't hide it...educate your ds...it's normal and healthy to nurse...imo you shouldn't need to worry about it too much (if your ds is uncomfy, he will leave the room without prompting from you ) Good luck with whatever your decision is! c

True Love is here....to stay!
momma of monkeys is offline  
Old 08-24-2006, 03:18 AM
 
gethane's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2003
Location: nebraska transplant in california
Posts: 2,903
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by UnschoolnMa

For the life of me I cannot see why nursing in front of your child (or anyone...) would be a concern at all. Breasts are not bad, wrong, or inappropriate. It does not make a bit of difference that it's a boy instead of a girl. Turning breastfeeding into a shameful thing that shouldn't be viewed just furthers the idea that it's sexual and dirty IMO.


I bf'd in front of my 15 year old son all the time. And his friends if they are around and its time for babe to eat. And my 13 and 12 year old daughters and their friends. I've told anyone around that'll listen that breasts are for babies and their other functions are just fringe benefits. I'm somewhat surprised I haven't gotten a phone call from an irate preteen parent sometime in the last 3 years.
gethane is offline  
Old 08-24-2006, 04:48 AM
 
eminer's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2003
Posts: 1,473
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by 3happygirls
I have them.... and I happen to think they are very sexual. I also feel very strongly that they are there for a reason (feeding my baby)...but why can't the opposite sex find them attractive as well?
Yeah, that always strikes me in these conversations. But for me, it's not about the same or opposite sex finding my breasts attractive, but about the fact that in certain hormonal contexts, they have a direct line to my clit. I don't know about others, but this is not true of my lips. I mean, the ones on my face. I think that this is very worth talking about because, if nothing else, I suspect that it plays into nursing aversion feelings. Beyond that, all of these aspects are interrelated in the broad meaning of sexuality, and connected by parts of the body, hormonal responses, etc. That is beautiful and worth celebrating. Getting away from the idea that breasts are there for men to look at doesn't require us to narrow their female power.

And oh, breastfeeding in front of a 9yo is fine! (I can smell a tangent a mile off and am inexorably drawn...)

Oye Yemaya oloto
eminer is offline  
Old 08-24-2006, 09:17 AM
 
MyNameIsBen's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2006
Posts: 57
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
I'm a guy (since that seems to matter) and I first saw breastfeeding around 10 years old. I haven't been scarred or damaged at all. Indeed, I think the fact that it was and has been so openly done by my two older sisters is part of the reason I'm such a big supporter of it these days.
MyNameIsBen is offline  
Old 08-24-2006, 12:08 PM
 
*caitlinsmom*'s Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2006
Location: Austin, Texas
Posts: 430
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
DSS was 10 when DD was born. I have never hidden from him to BF her, and never will. She is 10 months now and he is 11. While he has been very curious about sexual matters in the last year (we found in his internet account that he had searched for "boobs.com" on line and promptly intalled a filter to prevent him from viewing porn) I feel like it is very important for him to realize that breasts are, first and foremost, a food source for growing babies. (DSS was never BF, only FF)
I want him to understand that the sexual functions of the breast are entirely seconday and that there is no shame in using them for their intended purpose. DH and I had several talks with him in the beginning about how it is the best food for her and that I was just feeding the baby, nothing more.
He barely notices these days, except to say something like, "wow, she's hungry again?"
*caitlinsmom* is offline  
Old 08-24-2006, 12:41 PM
 
kyndmamaof4's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2006
Location: Over the river & through the woods
Posts: 1,839
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
I have 3 boys, and my oldest is 7 and it is just a way of feeding the baby. It is normal. Be the teacher for your son. Don't let mtv, FHM, and coors light teach your son about a womans breasts. I completly agree that they have a duel purpose, but why let mainstream society fool your child in to thinking that women are only for sex. I don't hide in front of any one, if they are uncomfortable, with me feeding my child the way nature intended, then don't look. I have breastfed in front of teenage boys, and not so much as a too long stare, they just act as if I'm just feeding the baby. I don't think that boys are given nearly as much credit as they deserve. I have found that the most immiture people are grown men. If you expose your son to BFing now he won't be apart of the next generation of gawking men. Best of luck with your baby.


Oh one more thing...If you were in public and your son saw a mama nursing her child what would you say? OH NO DON"T LOOK!!! or it's just a mama feeding her baby.:

http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=802589268Blissed out Mama of 4 Peace.gif
kyndmamaof4 is offline  
Old 08-24-2006, 12:48 PM
 
PancakeGoddess's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2004
Posts: 5,264
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
HAAAYYY! WHo gave me that ddddc? Never had one before! Check me out

was that you, beloved?
PancakeGoddess is offline  
Old 08-24-2006, 03:27 PM
 
OneHappyMama69's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2006
Location: San Diego, CA
Posts: 68
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
I have a somewhat related story: I nurse my 2.5 yo pretty much in front of anyone, don't think much about it. We have a 10 yo nephew who has seen me do this since day one of DS's life. The other day he was over playing and DS wanted 'mama milk' so of course I let him. Nephew was sitting across the room playing X-Box (uggghh!) and not paying much attention. Skip forward to last night, and DH tells me today he was with nephew and realized that nephew has now adopted the term "mama milkers" for breasts - which, of course, I love. I told DH I thought it was great, b/c he's learned their primary function is to feed children, and it's better than calling them boobs! I don't know how his parents will feel about him using the term, but I find no harm in it. We'll see if I get a call over the next couple of weeks! His mama only nursed him for a few months but he's seen it around him quite often, b/c of me and a couple of other friends of his mama, so at least it seems like the norm to him.
OneHappyMama69 is offline  
Old 08-24-2006, 04:00 PM
 
caricandothis's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2006
Location: Finger Lakes Area NY
Posts: 972
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
My son was 4 when his 1st sister was born, 8 when his 2nd sister was born and is 11 now (with a new brother on the way soon). He knows more about breasts and breastfeeding than most 11 yr olds I've ever met. He tells people that his brother won't need a bottle, mom's got two built in .

I think it is VERY important for all children to see a mother BFing. My nephews (ages 9, 5 and 4) have never known anyone that BF'd but they know that Aunt Cari does and have always asked me questions about it. I am totally open and honest about it and don't cover myself up anymore than I normally would when they're around.
caricandothis is offline  
Old 08-24-2006, 04:05 PM
 
marlee's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2005
Location: Canada
Posts: 762
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Absolutely. What a great opportunity for normalizing breastfeeding for your son.

Mama to two beautiful children. 

marlee is offline  
Old 08-24-2006, 11:15 PM
 
Mama Dragon's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2005
Location: Apparently on MDC
Posts: 10,555
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
I nursed #3 in front of the older kids and I'm nursing #4 in front of them. I've watched carefully to see if there was any embarrassment but it's so normal to them that even with DD's own budding chest, it's just another body part that happens to feed babies. DS1 is developmentally disabled and doesn't understnad the world and life how most kids do and even he's perfectly fine with it.

Amy ~ Web Designing Single Mom to 4: DD14, DS12, DS5, DS3
Mama Dragon is offline  
Old 08-25-2006, 12:05 AM
 
radicalmama's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2005
Location: Los Angeles
Posts: 321
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
I have twelve year old son and an eight year old son and I do nurse in front of them.

My twelve year old is embarrassed about EVERYTHING right now, but wonderfully it doesn't even occur to him to be embarrassed about me nursing his baby brother in public or at home. I think its good for the boys to see a nursing mama, the will have MORE RESPECT for women and women's bodies and get to see the primary biological function of the breast.

My eight year old (who nursed until he was 3 and is my ultimate cuddle bunny) just gets a little bit jealous. He asked to nurse once and I said, "You can build an entire Lego battle cruiser without directions...you're outta luck my friend!"
And he laughed, and said, "Aw! Drats!" and that was the end of it.
radicalmama is offline  
Old 08-25-2006, 12:38 AM
 
Momtwice's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2001
Posts: 10,142
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
If you do not breastfeed in front of him, you are teaching him that breastfeeding is something shameful and dirty. As a boy who may someday become a dad, (who may have a wife if he is straight) I would raise him to be the kind of dad that supports a breastfeeding partner/wife, rather than shaming or criticising her or telling her to hide. A lot of moms get hassled by their male partners for nursing and you can break this cycle. What a wonderful opportunity for you, congratulations.

Take the time to heal from your marriage before you move on with someone else. Make a list of all the qualities you would like in a new partner and then work on growing that way yourself. ~mandib50
Momtwice is offline  
Old 08-25-2006, 12:51 AM
 
aisraeltax's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2005
Location: never never land & CPP
Posts: 5,227
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
i havent read all the responses but i bf in front of both of my boys (15/soon to be 16 next month) and 8. the 15 yo was a little upset about it in the beginnng (when i NIP with him) but he's gotten over it b/c well he doesnt have a choice. i am trying to do the best for the baby. the 8 yo is very proud and curious. he's happy his brother is getting mommy's milk and very curious as to how it works.
i am trying to raise future lactivists so i am doing all i can to make bf part of our normal routine.
good luck!
aisraeltax is offline  
Old 08-25-2006, 01:18 AM
 
babyomom's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2006
Location: Ohio
Posts: 41
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Bf in front of my 15 and 14 year old boys. They have had the health classes at school. And before the baby was born they said I should bf the baby because it is healthly. They have been very helpful.
babyomom is offline  
Old 08-25-2006, 01:36 AM
 
bobandjess99's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2005
Location: Northern IN
Posts: 5,835
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
ITA with just about everyone!
I BF in front of my 9, 10 ans 13 year old STEPsons....and i agree wholeheartedly that it is GREAT for them to be seeing breasts used for their intended purpose.......

CPST
bobandjess99 is offline  
Old 08-25-2006, 01:48 AM
 
teachermom's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2001
Location: texas
Posts: 845
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
I've never seen it as an issue. my 14 yr old son has voiced to embaressed moms that there are working boobs then there are "boobs". nursing ones are working ones. I think it is a healthy view brought from being around nursing moms most of his life.

mom to four lively children. birth and postpartum doula. midwifery student. choosing to enjoy life. :
teachermom is offline  
Old 08-25-2006, 05:55 PM
 
DQMama's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2006
Location: Virginia
Posts: 1,035
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
My dh has a serious issue w/ NIP. This is an attitude I hope he does not pass on to our son. I will be nursing in front of him until he is probably 6 or so (if dd nurses until she is around 3 or 4), longer if we have another baby. I would love it if he grows up with a more positive attitude toward NIP than his father does.
DQMama is offline  
Old 08-26-2006, 10:17 PM
 
mommy68's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2006
Posts: 6,167
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 2 Post(s)
I would say maybe go out and buy a book on the topic of breastfeeding and teaching other children in the family about it. Maybe you can find one in the children's section at your local bookstore. He lives with you! He is going to see you breastfeed unless you always hide in another room or under a blanket. There's nothing gross about feeding a baby the way they were intended to be fed. Maybe your child will grow up realizing that breasts aren't just sexual.

__________________________________
46-year-old single (divorced), self-employed working, home schooling, part-time college student mommy to:

19 yr old
12 yr old
5 yr old
mommy68 is offline  
Old 08-26-2006, 10:18 PM
 
Jmo780's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2006
Location: In my house.
Posts: 471
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
I don't think it is a big deal to Bf in front of your son
Jmo780 is offline  
Old 08-28-2006, 01:27 AM
 
mama in the forest's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2006
Posts: 2,986
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Well, let me add more support to all the posts! I have three sons - the oldest of which is 9 years old. I breastfeed shamelessly in front of them all & anyone else who happens to be around me. It's giving my sons the education they NEED so that they understand about life. And actually, you should hear my 9 year old when he happens to see a mother bottle feeding! He can't believe she's doing something like feeding her child from a bottle & goes on & on about how breastfeeding is better.

Greenlee's Forest *intentional jewelry* a secret Journal locket!
Me My Blog Mama to 7 babes & four spirit babies
mama in the forest is offline  
Old 08-28-2006, 01:31 AM
 
UrbanPlanter's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2003
Location: at work
Posts: 5,507
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
not only do I see no issue in bfing in front of your son, I am hoping that you won't feel uncomfortable bfing out and about in front of all kinds of people.
UrbanPlanter is offline  
Old 08-28-2006, 01:47 AM
 
mommycakes's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2005
Location: Bothell, WA.
Posts: 1,080
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Of course you should BF in front of your son. There's nothing dirty or yucky about it, it's how babies eat. I don't think it's anything to feel weird or ashamed of. Do it with pride and confidence. It'll be a wonderful model for this future dad and man in society.

I BF all over the place. I've had many kids and toddlers come up to take a peak. It's all very innocent and sweet.

Be proud nursing momma
mommycakes is offline  
Old 08-28-2006, 04:04 AM
 
RockStarMom's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2005
Location: California
Posts: 1,250
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Oh goodness...I wouldn't hesitate to breastfeed in front of an older child any more than I would hesitate to sling, cloth diaper, cosleep, etc. in front of them!
If your son hasn't been exposed to breastfeeding much, I would maybe print out some pictures of breastfeeding art and photography and stick them up on the fridge and around the house and comment on how beautiful it is. And if he was breastfed, reminisce on your breastfeeding relationship with him and talk about how healthy he was and such.
RockStarMom is offline  
Old 08-28-2006, 08:44 AM
 
PancakeGoddess's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2004
Posts: 5,264
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
so, seriously? My DDDDC is going to remain a total mystery? The joke came from this thread, so I know you're out there!
PancakeGoddess is offline  
 
User Tag List

Thread Tools


Forum Jump: 

Posting Rules  
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are Off