How much pocket $$ for a 12 yo? - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 23 Old 09-01-2006, 12:11 AM - Thread Starter
 
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How much extra pockety money should I give my 12 yo? I buy him what he needs, but sometimes he wants that $30 shirt he needs to save up for. I dont believe in the do chores for money thingy, just want to give him some $$ along and along. HOw much is too much? or too little?

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#2 of 23 Old 09-01-2006, 12:26 AM
 
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I don't give my dd ANY pocket money. I pay for her school lunch or send her something nutritious to eat.

She gets a $10 a week allowance. I don't actually hand her the cash. We write it in a checkbook register. When she wants to buy something with 'her' money I pay for it and subtract it from her balance.

What do you think your ds needs money for? In the case of the shirt, if you're going to let him have it, why not just buy it yourself?

I should add that on the occasion when dd and a girlfriend are at the mall with me and want to 'explore' a bit on their own I might give her an amount up to $10. But I do ask to see receipts and get change on those occasions.
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#3 of 23 Old 09-01-2006, 12:37 AM - Thread Starter
 
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Thats a GREAT idea!! I dont buy those shirts that cost a lot of $$, I tend to buy him whats on sale, hes into these namebrand things that if he wants to spend his money on, he can.

I think I will def. use that register thing, and subtract the money out. Thanks mama!

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#4 of 23 Old 09-01-2006, 12:57 AM
 
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We do $1 per year of age per week. Each child has a list of chores that is NOT attached to their allowance. They can do extra chores (chores not on their list) for extra money if they're saving up for something. I have a list of extra chores and their monetary value for these occasions.

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#5 of 23 Old 09-01-2006, 02:01 AM
 
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I just give whatever I can. It could be $5 or $30. It depends on what is available to me, what she is wannting/needing to do, etc. She has never asked for anything out of our budget range. We don't do chores=money in our family at all. Dd has had a job all summer and had her own money to do as she pleases with.

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#6 of 23 Old 09-01-2006, 02:34 AM
 
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We did the dollar per year of age thing when I was getting child support. Then when things got bad, I told them that I couldn't give them allowance any more, but whenever I could I gave them $5 or $10 "because I'm in the mood" so that they would have SOME spending money.

To me, an allowance is like a paycheck in that a child can count on it and budget accordingly and save up for big things that they want or need. If you can't keep your commitment to give your child his allowance, then the amount of the allowance is too high.

ds got allowance again when he was about 12 or 13. It was $20 a month ($5 a week) but it had to cover luxuries that I used to be able to give him without even thinking about it.

We're back to no allowance again, but ds is in great demand as a babysitter and it's about the time of year where people will be looking for strong boys to help stack wood.
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#7 of 23 Old 09-01-2006, 04:58 AM
 
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We don't do routine chores for money or an allowance. DS is usually pretty reasonable in requests for pocket change. It probably only adds up to $10 a month, if that. For something like a $30 shirt? He's had a job this summer mowing lawns and that's what he would have to dig into if he wanted it bad enough. He has to put half in savings and he can keep out the other half.

I don't have a problem paying for large seasonal jobs like raking the millions of leaves. That takes him several days. If I was just going to give an allowance, but still pay for everything else like clothing I wouldn't give him more than $5 a week unless he routinely had things to pay for like getting into the swimming pool.
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#8 of 23 Old 09-01-2006, 12:12 PM
 
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Our crew get an allowance (when the budget isn't too tight) of 4.00 a week. They put 10% into their "long-term savings" (as my hubby has dubbed it) and 10% for tithe. The rest is theirs. They are responsible for buying any extras they want to have (ie pokemon decks, extra toys, etc..). They also have to be certain to budget their allowance for the county fair in our town every year. They typically save 15-20 dollars of their money to pay for their ride bracelets and some games/food. We cannot afford to buy all their bracelets and stuff, so they cover with their allowance. They have already started saving for this year's fair.

They are getting good at budgeting for what they want and also deciding what they really want over what they think they may like to have. They seem more particular when the money is coming out of their pockets rather than ours.

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#9 of 23 Old 09-01-2006, 03:58 PM
 
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We started giving allowance money at 6 (it was $6 per week), now at 9 it is $9 per week. Allowance does not depends on chores, but it does depend on good behavior. For example, if he talks rude his allowance will be -1$ per that week. Same applies to what he is expected to do and does not do. More serious offence might involve no allowance for a week or month or whatever. It is decided on the spot by me or dh and decision is irreversable. Allowance is spend on computer games, video games (they are $30-50 each!), books. I guess the extra fancy clothes for a girl is equal to video game for a boy. He also uses some of his allowance money to buy us and his grandparents gifts for Christmas, birthdays etc - whaever he feels like spending on us. Sometimes he decided to save for something that he really want (like now he wants a new computer - it is at least $700-$1000 and it will take him a year or more.)
I do not belive in extra chores for money since sometimes I do not feel good healthwise and I am unable to vacuum or do dishes etc. I expect ds to perform these chores (the ones he is capable of) while I can not do them for free just because he is part of the family.

At 12 I am planning to give him $12 a week plus if he wants to do any babysitting / car washing or whatever - for other family - this will be his extra. Also right now we hire someone to do our grass. If at any time ds wants to do it by himself - I will pay him the money I am currently paying to someone else.
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#10 of 23 Old 09-01-2006, 07:13 PM
 
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DS1 is 13, and gets $6.00/week. He has chores, but they're not tied to his allowance. (He sometimes earns an extra few bucks by babysitting dd and ds2, but that's a case-by-case thing. Sometimes, he just has to do it as part of his chores. It depends on how much we've been asking him to watch them, how long he has to watch them for, and why he's been asked...if it's for something relating to dh's work, he doesn't get paid.)

I have an account set up for his allowance, and I transfer it in each week online. That way, he finds that he's less inclined to spend it on junk food and such, and can save it up for the "big ticket" items. He still has to clear purchases with us, though. Right now, I think he's saving for a video game, and for his Christmas shopping...although he may pick up a CD or two, or some spinning plates...

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#11 of 23 Old 09-03-2006, 05:12 AM
 
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We do the dollar per age thing, but every other week. So my 11 year old gets $11 every two weeks. It is not tied to chores, but a couple of months ago, her room got so filthy that we told her we were withholding her allowance AND the money she earned from babysitting until she got it in shape. I mean, we are talking health hazzard--moldy drinks (sister and papa are allergic to mold), towels on the floor that had MOLDED THE FLOOR UNDERNEATH them, papers and trash and crap everywhere.

It didn't work, so I went through her room and took everything that wasn't put away and put it in big boxes, then gave her a list of chores that she could do to get items back. Some stuff ended up in the rummage house. Now her room is relatively neat, no mold growth, anyhow. We didn't give her allowance for a month after that.

But I digress.....
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#12 of 23 Old 09-03-2006, 01:41 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by UnschoolnMa
I just give whatever I can. It could be $5 or $30. It depends on what is available to me, what she is wannting/needing to do, etc. She has never asked for anything out of our budget range. We don't do chores=money in our family at all. Dd has had a job all summer and had her own money to do as she pleases with.
:

It works out really well for us...

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#13 of 23 Old 09-03-2006, 08:11 PM
 
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I've never done pocket money for any of my boys. I give them money when they go out to specific places like the movies or the mall. It can be really hard, sometimes with all the other kids in their circle having money to spend, but it really can yield some good results for the long run.

If they don't have money, experimenting with drugs, cigarettes and drinking becomes much less of a temptation. Money is too precious a commodity to waist on that junk.

If they don't have money, they are more likely to work. At 12 your son isn't going to be getting a job, but he can do yard work and the like for neighbors. My sons have helped our neighbors with landscaping projects and learned quite a lot in the process. If he wants something that's outside of the budget, he will figure out a way to get the money.

That first job and spending money of their own is terribly cool to them. My youngest now works as a bagger at the local grocery store. The first thing he bought was a PSP which he treats like it's platinum because he knows how many hours it takes to make $300. He's spent the entire summer working in order to save the $2500 he needs for a high school choir trip to Spain.
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#14 of 23 Old 09-03-2006, 10:12 PM
 
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I have heard that giving kids money decreases their effort to work and/or makes them careless or irresponsible a few times lately. I have never seen even an inkling of that with our kids and we have no problem giving them cash. I find that really interesting. I wonder where the difference lies.

Vampyre500, it's so cool that your Ds is working toward a trip to Spain! How exciting.

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#15 of 23 Old 09-03-2006, 10:21 PM
 
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I wasn't given any spending money as a kid, but my parents would pretty much always give me money if I asked for something specific. I still HATED it. I think that most kids deserve to have some privacy and personal freedom in their spending.

As for the amount- it depends on your lifestyle and what he's responsible for. If you think he should be able to buy a cookie every day after school and be able to save up to buy a $30 shirt/ game/ etc., then base it on that figure. I have friends whose teenagers were responsible for all of their clothing and personal care purchases, and their allowances were of course much higher. (I think it's a great idea to let kids take over as much of the budget as they can handle responsibly, BTW- saves you hassle; helps them learn about money.)
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#16 of 23 Old 09-04-2006, 10:06 AM
 
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Raising Money Smart Kids is a book I recommend. I have been slowly reading it over the course of the summer.

My Dh just came up with the best solution we have tried thus far when it comes to an allowance.

They each get $20 per week, $5 of which has to go into their savings. The rest they can do with as they please with.

However, allowance means that we pay for nothing other than their essentials. No treats at the store, no movie tickets, candy, etc. There are exceptions, like if we suggest a family movie, then it's on us, if they want shoes that cost more than what we've agreed to pay, then they have to save the rest up first - those kinds of things.

Savings is not to be touched. They can put that money in certificates of deposit, their savings account, or, as my youngest wants to do, buy a few stocks with, but it cannot be spent.

Good Luck!
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#17 of 23 Old 09-04-2006, 10:53 PM
 
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#18 of 23 Old 09-05-2006, 01:33 AM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Itlbokay
Raising Money Smart Kids is a book I recommend. I have been slowly reading it over the course of the summer.

My Dh just came up with the best solution we have tried thus far when it comes to an allowance.

They each get $20 per week, $5 of which has to go into their savings. The rest they can do with as they please with.

However, allowance means that we pay for nothing other than their essentials. No treats at the store, no movie tickets, candy, etc. There are exceptions, like if we suggest a family movie, then it's on us, if they want shoes that cost more than what we've agreed to pay, then they have to save the rest up first - those kinds of things.

Savings is not to be touched. They can put that money in certificates of deposit, their savings account, or, as my youngest wants to do, buy a few stocks with, but it cannot be spent.

Good Luck!
This is what we do with our 14 year old. we have been trying different methods since she was about 10 or 11 but this works best for all of us.
The younger kids only get a few dollars but I pay for everything they ' need'.
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#19 of 23 Old 09-05-2006, 11:23 PM
 
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Originally Posted by UnschoolnMa
I just give whatever I can. It could be $5 or $30. It depends on what is available to me, what she is wannting/needing to do, etc. She has never asked for anything out of our budget range. We don't do chores=money in our family at all. Dd has had a job all summer and had her own money to do as she pleases with.
I don't have a teen (I'm only 26 myself ) but that is how my parents were with my 3 sisters and me and it always worked out just fine for everyone.

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#20 of 23 Old 09-06-2006, 11:31 AM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Itlbokay
Raising Money Smart Kids is a book I recommend. I have been slowly reading it over the course of the summer.

My Dh just came up with the best solution we have tried thus far when it comes to an allowance.

They each get $20 per week, $5 of which has to go into their savings. The rest they can do with as they please with.

However, allowance means that we pay for nothing other than their essentials. No treats at the store, no movie tickets, candy, etc. There are exceptions, like if we suggest a family movie, then it's on us, if they want shoes that cost more than what we've agreed to pay, then they have to save the rest up first - those kinds of things.

Savings is not to be touched. They can put that money in certificates of deposit, their savings account, or, as my youngest wants to do, buy a few stocks with, but it cannot be spent.

Good Luck!
This is EXACTLY what my parents did with us and it worked out very very well!
My brother even became a home owner at 19 - he was such a little money hoarder!
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#21 of 23 Old 09-06-2006, 06:36 PM
 
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Wow. $20 a week would add up to $4,160 per year for us. Wow. Even if we only did it for 10 years per child, that $40,160. It takes me almost three years to clear that much cash at my teaching job. I'm way more concerned about paying for my own old age. Nope, that kind of money has to be earned for us.

Gloria
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#22 of 23 Old 09-06-2006, 07:19 PM
 
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Originally Posted by oldgirl,newtricks
Wow. $20 a week would add up to $4,160 per year for us. Wow. Even if we only did it for 10 years per child, that $40,160. It takes me almost three years to clear that much cash at my teaching job. I'm way more concerned about paying for my own old age. Nope, that kind of money has to be earned for us.

Gloria
Welcome to MDC, Gloria.

We give $20 a week, but if it added up to over four thousand a year I would think "Wow", too. It would be too much for us.

Each family works out what is best for them.

So far this is working out really well for us. Our boys are being very wise with their money. The best part is that I have seen a change in how they view money - for the positive. They aren't buying junk, or spending every dollar possible as soon as they get it. I am really happy with the results of our trying this out the past few weeks.

Peace
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#23 of 23 Old 09-06-2006, 08:32 PM
 
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Originally Posted by PajamaMama
I don't give my dd ANY pocket money. I pay for her school lunch or send her something nutritious to eat.

She gets a $10 a week allowance. I don't actually hand her the cash. We write it in a checkbook register. When she wants to buy something with 'her' money I pay for it and subtract it from her balance.

What do you think your ds needs money for? In the case of the shirt, if you're going to let him have it, why not just buy it yourself?

I should add that on the occasion when dd and a girlfriend are at the mall with me and want to 'explore' a bit on their own I might give her an amount up to $10. But I do ask to see receipts and get change on those occasions.
I don't mean this to sound well, how it's going to sound, but why so controlling? I mean the whole thing sounds controlling? You dd never gets her own money and has to go through you to do with it what she wants? Then why "give" it to her at all? And when she's out and you've given her actual cash why ask her for an accounting of HER money?

Unless there's something else going on in this situation I'm not seeing the reasoning.

It's lonely being the only XX in a house of XYs.
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