forced bra wearing?-updates pg. 5 and 7 - Page 6 - Mothering Forums

Forum Jump: 
Reply
 
Thread Tools
#151 of 168 Old 11-04-2006, 09:14 PM
Banned
 
momslittleangel's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2006
Location: between hormones and diapers
Posts: 85
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
My dd is 12 almost fully developed (36 B to big kind of scary) period n' all (I still think shes to young)! I got a simular note from her teacher I went to see her teacher because dd only likes wearing bras without pads but u see the nipples! Her teacher said it was unexeptable to not wear a PADDED BRA (for some reason shes the only amost developed)! I simpily told her teacher it is MY dds personal choice what kind of bra she wants to wear! the next day dd said she wanted to go bra shopping we found some bras wear the nipples dint wear still comertable to her. she got another note from her teacher saying thank u for buying your daughter padded bras (even though their not) the boys are much calmer around her and i was disgusted my advice find comfterable bras for her and yell at the teacher lol.....: : :
momslittleangel is offline  
#152 of 168 Old 11-05-2006, 11:23 AM
 
papercranegirl's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2006
Posts: 503
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by momslittleangel View Post
she got another note from her teacher saying thank u for buying your daughter padded bras (even though their not) the boys are much calmer around her

If that's the case then the teacher and administrators need to have a talk with those boys about what is and what is not acceptable in a work environment. sheesh. And we wonder why there's still rampant sexual harassment...
papercranegirl is offline  
#153 of 168 Old 11-05-2006, 11:45 AM
 
TinkerBelle's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2005
Posts: 3,586
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by papercranegirl View Post
If that's the case then the teacher and administrators need to have a talk with those boys about what is and what is not acceptable in a work environment. sheesh. And we wonder why there's still rampant sexual harassment...

I am the mother of 3 boys and will not be having any more children. If I ever found out that one of my boys was acting like a monkey in heat and harassing some girl, I would be having a serious talk with my son. I will NOT abide a bully of any kind. Let me just say that by the time I finished discussing the matter, he would FULLY understand just how unacceptable that kind of rude behavior is.
TinkerBelle is offline  
#154 of 168 Old 11-05-2006, 11:50 AM
 
Mybabymommy's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2006
Location: Ontario, Canada
Posts: 199
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Ask dd what she thinks it was about (incase there is more to the story) and than let her go braless. Who's checking for bras....and if you find someone whi is check, well that's a whole 'nother problem.

As long as she is comfortable and appropriate for school, it's nobodies business what she wears for underwear!
Mybabymommy is offline  
#155 of 168 Old 11-05-2006, 11:55 AM
Banned
 
momslittleangel's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2006
Location: between hormones and diapers
Posts: 85
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
let me add one more thing to my last post appearently (dd just told me last night) but the boys had been talked to many a times before but what i found wierd was the teaacher never told me anything about this in the conference I would have done somthing else like get her some more bras so she was not being harassed! I love dd to much 4 her to be harrassed over something so dumb as a bra
momslittleangel is offline  
#156 of 168 Old 11-05-2006, 12:07 PM
 
Mybabymommy's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2006
Location: Ontario, Canada
Posts: 199
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by Nankay View Post
update --talk w/teacher

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

I saw dd's teacher today. I said I was wondering why she felt the need to send a note home regarding dd's bra (or lack thereof). The teacher looked at me blankly and said, "because she's not wearing one." (Umm, ok, duh) I asked if that was a problem. Her answer was, "We wear bras when we have breasts. It's just a basic appropriate clothing/hygiene thing." I said I was trying very hard to not make this an issue for either dd or the teacher. I didn't want to force dd to wear a bra when she wasn't comfortable with one. The teacher again re-stated that it was a matter of dressing appropriately and that dd "would get used to wearing one ' if she had to everday. I told her that I would gently encourage dd to wear a bra or undershirt, but I would not FORCE her to wear one and left it at that.
I am determined not to make this a battle. The teacher can send home another note if she likes, but I think she knows now that she cannot force my dd to wear a bra just because she says so.
Good job mama, If you got another note home, I'd maybe mention to the teach that I was becoming uncomfortable with her "creepy" interest in my dd.

On the other hand, as a first note home I don't really see that it is a big deal. A lot of parenting is shoved on the teacher plates these days and she may have been genuine in her concern.
Mybabymommy is offline  
#157 of 168 Old 11-05-2006, 02:36 PM
 
mommy68's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2006
Posts: 6,599
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by aniT View Post
You might try talking to the teacher to find out where she is coming from and go from there. Then if you still feel she has crossed the line, go from there.
I agree. While I think it's kind of odd that the teacher brought this subject up, it may be that she noticed something in class that told her to bring it to your attention. Perhaps some boys are staring at your daughter and she is trying to save her from potential embrassment.

Single (divorced), self-employed working, college student MOM to:

 

17 yr old

11 yr old 

 4 yr old

mommy68 is offline  
#158 of 168 Old 11-05-2006, 02:44 PM
 
CrunchyMamaOf3's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2006
Location: Lancaster, Ohio
Posts: 172
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
: Just another issue with society seeing breasts as something purely sexual..


Edited:
I'm coming in real late on this, I was replying to the first post, not the updates that I have not read yet or anything.
CrunchyMamaOf3 is offline  
#159 of 168 Old 11-05-2006, 02:45 PM
 
Leilalu's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2004
Location: SW Washington
Posts: 7,916
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Yk, unless my dd felt more comfortable with one, I don't know that I would want my dd wearing a bra at that age.

I think I wore one in 5th grade occasionally. I did have a friend who was very large chested by that time though, and wore one and she did get teased, a lot.

I think it is sad that girls ware made to wear what I consider adult undergarments at such an early age.

Due with number 5 in August. We do all that crunchy stuff.
.
Leilalu is offline  
#160 of 168 Old 11-05-2006, 07:29 PM
 
antannie's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2006
Location: in a pile of wet wool and lambies
Posts: 1,173
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Didn't read all the posts so it may have been covered. Most women wear bras that are uncomfortable because they don't fit right. my daughter wears a sports bra cause she is a bit of a jock and when she discovered boys looking at her she decided sweatshirts and loose shirts where the right attire for school.

I am large breasted and as a kid I was embarrased wearing a bra because I thought every one would know I had one on. If the daughter requested the bras she may want to wear one but is not for any number of reasons ie fit,comfort of bra, fear of someone *knowing* she is wearing one.

I am glad our school requires respectful dress ie no skin or sayins on clothes that might be offensive and one day she did get told her shirt was offensive (I did too but try telling a 12 year old girl to change right before the school bus arrives) and I felt ok about that but they have an upfront policy so we all know where we stand. Note home was not ok way to handle it in may opinion and I would be annoyed too.

comfortable bra wearing hairy mama to an expanding breasted 12 year old.
antannie is offline  
#161 of 168 Old 11-05-2006, 09:07 PM
 
deuxceleste's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2006
Location: Carrboro, NC
Posts: 1,596
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
any updates on this? I've been following this for forever!

i wanna know! i wanna know!
deuxceleste is offline  
#162 of 168 Old 11-05-2006, 10:06 PM
 
2tadpoles's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2004
Posts: 2,142
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Just wanted to say that I haven't read all the posts here. From there....

First, I'm not sure how big "full-grown, adult-sized" boobs are. I'm 35 years old and am barely an A-cup. I've known 11yo girls who are waaaay more developed than I am.

Secondly, if anyone thinks that wearing a bra is going to ward off ill-mannered boys, you're dead wrong. Like I said, I'm small chested. No boy ever grabbed at my chest in school. But I can't tell you how many times a hand has found its way to my rear end. I'm rather shapely in that area.

If your daughter wears jeans, boys will be checking out her butt. If she wears a skirt, they'll be looking at her legs. And yes, if she has anything in the chest area, they'll be looking there, too.

But the idea that girls are responsible for a boy's hormones, sickens me. That's pretty close to saying that girls who dress in a certain way are "asking for it"..... or that a girl who wears a short skirt deserves to be raped, because she provoked the male.

Lastly, I don't think a teacher has any right to tell students what kind of underwear to put on, no matter how the student is built. As long as nothing is see-through and stuff isn't hanging out, that's all that should matter.
2tadpoles is offline  
#163 of 168 Old 11-06-2006, 03:01 AM - Thread Starter
 
Nankay's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2002
Location: Iowa
Posts: 1,058
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Hi All..
I'm the original poster. Nothing new to report, but we do have parent-teacher conferences in a couple of days, so I'll let you know if the teacher says anything more. Since the note, dd has been going braless even more. She now has 3 different styles and hates them all. I'm not forcing the issue and I'm not spending any more money buying something that will not be worn.
Nankay is offline  
#164 of 168 Old 11-12-2006, 04:23 PM
 
deuxceleste's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2006
Location: Carrboro, NC
Posts: 1,596
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
WELL???

deuxceleste is offline  
#165 of 168 Old 11-13-2006, 02:22 AM - Thread Starter
 
Nankay's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2002
Location: Iowa
Posts: 1,058
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Sorry..op here...

Conferences were Thursday and not a word was said. So I guess that's the end of it. Yay!
Nankay is offline  
#166 of 168 Old 11-13-2006, 02:56 AM
 
deuxceleste's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2006
Location: Carrboro, NC
Posts: 1,596
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
deuxceleste is offline  
#167 of 168 Old 11-13-2006, 05:16 PM
 
Catsinthecradle's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2004
Location: here and now
Posts: 56
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
The teacher has no right to dictate the underwear your child wears, but I still wanted to add a bra comment.

When I was in the 6th grade, my mom decided that I needed to wear a "chemise" which was the top half of a slip. I refused, so she took me shopping for a bra. I was mortified by the experience - the sales lady, the chance that someone I knew would see me there... the whole thing.

I got my bras, complete with thin shoulder straps, and hooks in the back. I was not pleased. I went home and cried up on the hill with my rabbits.

Now, I wear racer back sport bras. As a matter of fact, I wear them instead of shirts. They come in all colors and designs, and slip on and off easily. I usually get them at Ross, so they don't cost much. I like a compacted look; I can't stand bouncing boobs... but that's just me.
Catsinthecradle is offline  
#168 of 168 Old 11-13-2006, 06:03 PM
 
HerthElde's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2003
Location: Mother Earth
Posts: 3,086
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Wow, I just read the whole thread and I'm glad you stood up for your dd I think society really needs to get over its fear of nipples . . .
Plus, bras cause sagging, despite our conditioning to believe it prevents it. Underwire bras are the worst for soooooo many reasons, imo.

Personally, I do wear a sports bra sometimes when I'm out in public in certain situations because even though I don't feel I need one logically, my conditioning has yet to catch up with my logic
HerthElde is offline  
Reply

Quick Reply
Message:
Drag and Drop File Upload
Drag files here to attach!
Upload Progress: 0
Options

Register Now

In order to be able to post messages on the Mothering Forums forums, you must first register.
Please enter your desired user name, your email address and other required details in the form below.
User Name:
If you do not want to register, fill this field only and the name will be used as user name for your post.
Password
Please enter a password for your user account. Note that passwords are case-sensitive.
Password:
Confirm Password:
Email Address
Please enter a valid email address for yourself.
Email Address:

Log-in

Human Verification

In order to verify that you are a human and not a spam bot, please enter the answer into the following box below based on the instructions contained in the graphic.



User Tag List

Thread Tools
Show Printable Version Show Printable Version
Email this Page Email this Page


Forum Jump: 

Posting Rules  
You may post new threads
You may post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are Off