this will probably get moved and that is fine but i really need any input that anyone has before tomorrow morning. TIA!
ok, so here's the story: 11 yo dd goes to public school this year, first time after hs'ing and trying other various routes. she is an excellent student, respects authority, never acts up (although being an 11 yo girl she has her moments!
) but all around she is a great kid. she goes to a small school in a small town, everyone seems nice, things have been just fine - until last friday.
there was a choir visiting from an all girls school. they performed during school hours during an assembly with the honor choir from dd's school. dd didn't think the local choir sounded as good as the visiting choir because there are some boys in it whose voices are changing. she discussed this with her friend A, they concurred and then made the mistake of telling that to their friend L, who is a part of the honors choir. what they said was that the choir "sucked". so this hurt L's feelings and she immediately ran off and told their teacher.
now i know that dd didn't mean to hurt her friend's feelings, this has been a lesson on when to keep your opinion to yourself and to phrase things more delicately. it should have been handled in about 5 minutes. the girls should have been made to understand what they did wrong, apologies should have been made and that should have been the end of it. but here's where it gets sticky.
the teacher took it to the principal, the girls were yanked out of class and made to go to his office. he then yelled at them (dd said he turned all red and looked like a giant angry red balloon with a mustache) until he made both of them cry. he told them that he wanted them both to go write a letter apologizing to the choir for saying that they "suck" and that they might have to read it in front of the whole choir sometime this week (being a small school about half of the students are in the choir). at this point in the story i'm really angry.
so all weekend i hope that maybe they won't be called on to read these letters, the principal will realize that he overreacted and it will be forgotten. um, guess not. i told dd that if she were told to read the letter in front of the choir that she should refuse and have him call me if he wanted to discuss it further. he did call the girls out, they were headed for the music room but dd told him to wait and told him what i told her to say. he tried to call me but i didn't get the message until late this afternoon.
here are my problems with this whole thing; don't humiliate my child for having an opinion. she understands what she said was inappropriate, she apologized and it is done. i think there is a freedom of speech issue here... i also think that this was blown waaaay out of proportion to the point that it is just ridiculous. if it was that big of a deal i should have been contacted immediately. it was handled in a way that i would call bad at the very least.
so i'm going in tomorrow morning to ask for the letter and explain my feelings about this. i'm so mad i don't know whether to cry or kick a hole in the wall. i guess this is what i get for sending her to public school.
thanks for reading this - it got long. if anyone has anything else to point out here please do so. why do i feel like *i'm* the one in trouble and tomorrow i have to 'go to the principal's office'? i think this is my weird authority issue...