Bed times? - Mothering Forums

Forum Jump: 
 
Thread Tools
#1 of 12 Old 02-03-2002, 07:42 PM - Thread Starter
 
copslass's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2003
Location: NW Ohio
Posts: 321
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
I just saw a similar thread for tots, and decided to find out what kind of routines everyone else has with their 11-12 year olds, 13-14 year olds, etc.
I like my almost 11 and 12 year olds to be in their rooms at 9:00, "lights out" at 9:30. Not to have you think that actually happens on a nightly basis!
What about you?

Tracy
copslass is offline  
#2 of 12 Old 02-03-2002, 10:25 PM
 
calgal007's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2001
Posts: 680
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
9:00 in bed with lights out at 9:30 seems perfectly reasonable and is the norm among my friends who have 11-12 year old children.
What about nine year olds?????
calgal007 is offline  
#3 of 12 Old 02-04-2002, 09:28 PM
Banned
 
gabner's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2002
Posts: 275
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
I am a single homeschooling mom and I have let my kids set their own bed times. We have quiet time after about 8 or so. When my youngest was younger (now 13) he had to go to bed if he was loud and bothered people and it was dark out. All we would have to say is "it's dark out" and he would settle down, he knew he would have to go to bed if he didn't.

My kids are now 22. 19. and 13 and they appreciate that they have always been able to set their own bed times.
gabner is offline  
#4 of 12 Old 02-07-2002, 12:27 AM
Red
 
Red's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2002
Location: at my keyboard, writing my novel.
Posts: 4,485
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
My 11 and 13 dd go upstairs at 8:30, lights out and quiet by nine. Weekends they stay up til 10:00. They have to be up at 6:30, so I think they need this much sleep to wake up refreshed...I do.
Red is offline  
#5 of 12 Old 02-07-2002, 05:59 AM
 
emmaline's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2001
Location: melbourne, australia
Posts: 1,919
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
my nearly 11 yo is in bed by 9, reads till 10, then lights out but is often awake for another hour (asthma, eczema, anxious nature) so often puts on a relaxation CD with imagery & breathing techniques
lights out does get stretched if he's finishing a really good book
this is also often the time for life dramas to be chewed over...
emmaline is offline  
#6 of 12 Old 02-07-2002, 12:09 PM
 
barjem's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2001
Location: home
Posts: 207
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Bed time in our home is
8:15-upstairs get ready
8:30- lights out
9:00- out like a light!
My kids are 3-15 years they all up early between 5:30-6;30am
on the weekends lights are out by 9:00pm
barjem is offline  
#7 of 12 Old 02-07-2002, 04:02 PM
 
3boysmom's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2001
Posts: 1,697
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
We've been discussing this very issue at our house lately. My 11 (next month) year old goes to bed at 9pm. He needs to be up at 7am for school and is always snoring within 10 minutes of lights out. Next year (middle school) he'll need to be up by 6am so, even though he'll be older, we will likely keep bedtime the same. He doesn't get much of a break on weekends due to early soccer games/swim practices but we will let him slide a bit. He argues that 9 is too early but the fact that he is sound asleep within minutes doesn't give him much room to argue!
3boysmom is offline  
#8 of 12 Old 02-07-2002, 10:53 PM - Thread Starter
 
copslass's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2003
Location: NW Ohio
Posts: 321
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Thank you for all your replies!
Our neighbors don't seem to have any routine at their house, our 12 year old ds likes to cite that as "normal" and is beginning to resent our "reasonable expectations" here at home.
Keep 'em coming!
Tracy
copslass is offline  
#9 of 12 Old 02-20-2002, 04:43 PM
 
alianmama's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2001
Location: Live in Gold Run, CA
Posts: 124
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
My 8-year old goes to bed at 8pm, with rare exceptions. My 14yo goes to bed by 9 latest, with rare exceptions. HOWEVER I have the right and responsibility to get either or both of them into bed earlier when I know they're tired. As an educator and parent, I know that teens actually NEED MORE sleep than when they're 8-10 years old. The tremendous changes they're going through really tax them. As a teacher, a HUGE problem is tired students!! Who don't eat breakfast! It drives me crazy.

So, at least 2x a week my 14yo goes to bed at 8. When I see him yawning and 'too tired' to do his chores, off he goes- and conks out right away. At times my 8yo is in bed at 7. We get up by 6:20 or so, and I have noticed that we all function much better when we're well rested. We need more sleep in the wintertime, too.

When I was a young mom, I was much more easy-going about bettimes, and a lot of things. In the last few years I have come to accept that the more structured approach really does our family good. Not only is everyone well-rested (and rarely ever get ill really!) but I know that my focus is almost 100% on my boys until 8-9, and then I get my time. It helps keep me balanced.
alianmama is offline  
#10 of 12 Old 02-20-2002, 10:48 PM
 
Bay's Mamma's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2002
Location: Annapolis, MD
Posts: 67
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
This is a great topic! There is actually research that teenagers require more sleep. I forget what the number was, but I think it's close to ten hours/night. The average teenager is getting something like 5.5 hours. There is a movement of doctors who believe that many children and teenagers are "sleep deprived". These doctors are of the understanding that behavioral problems, ADD, ADHD, and educational issues are, in many cases, a product of sleep depravation. These doctors believe that sleep is as important if not more, than proper nutrition. When you think about it, you don't allow your child to skip entire meals. Why would you allow them to have vital sleep stolen? Love and Light.
Bay's Mamma is offline  
#11 of 12 Old 02-21-2002, 02:37 AM
 
3girls1boy's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2001
Location: Wisconsin
Posts: 1,137
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
The interesting thing about teenagers is that although they need more sleep, their bodies clocks change so most of them are not ready to sleep until 11 p.m. People who do this kind of research say, because of this, high schools would be better off starting later in the morning, instead of having all those dozing off kids in the first period. High schools around here start at 7:30 a.m. !! I can hardly even think myself at that hour.
3girls1boy is offline  
#12 of 12 Old 02-21-2002, 03:49 PM
 
alianmama's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2001
Location: Live in Gold Run, CA
Posts: 124
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Yeah, I've read some research on teen's sleep needs. One researcher concluded that not only did teens need 9.5-10 hours of sleep, but their cycles run a bit later- but not much. The whole idea of a natural inclination to go to bed late, like at 11pm, is controversial. One researcher said it was way off the mark; that the "average" kid has the "natural inclination" to go to bed around 11pm BECAUSE their parents allow them to be up that late watching TV and using the computer!! Duh!?
My own 14yo likes to be in bed by 9 or 9:30 latest, and we're up at 6:30. He rarely argues when I send him to bed at 8-8:30. So, I'm inclined to think that our body clocks adjust to the hours we need to keep on a regular basis- mine certainly does!

Bottom line, common sense (as usual) seems the best way to go...
alianmama is offline  
Reply

Quick Reply
Message:
Drag and Drop File Upload
Drag files here to attach!
Upload Progress: 0
Options

Register Now

In order to be able to post messages on the Mothering Forums forums, you must first register.
Please enter your desired user name, your email address and other required details in the form below.
User Name:
If you do not want to register, fill this field only and the name will be used as user name for your post.
Password
Please enter a password for your user account. Note that passwords are case-sensitive.
Password:
Confirm Password:
Email Address
Please enter a valid email address for yourself.
Email Address:

Log-in

Human Verification

In order to verify that you are a human and not a spam bot, please enter the answer into the following box below based on the instructions contained in the graphic.



User Tag List

Thread Tools
Show Printable Version Show Printable Version
Email this Page Email this Page


Forum Jump: 

Posting Rules  
You may post new threads
You may post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are Off