First things first, you need to protect yourself from identity theft and further fraud.
1. Get a copy of your credit report. This is free from any of the credit bureaus, provided you do not also want your credit score (finding out your credit score costs money). If you go to www.equifax.com
, there are instructions for requesting the information. This is a good idea to do annually, even if you have no reason to suspect anything wrong. Your credit report will tell you about credit cards and utility accounts in your name.
2. Change the lock on the mailbox or rent a P.O. box. Do not give your daughter a key. Have statements, credit card bills, etc., sent to the P.O. box if you rent one.
3. Go to your bank with ID, and request that all outstanding ATM cards on your accounts be cancelled. Have them issue new ones, to be held at the bank for you to pick up. Stress that you and only you will be picking them up. While you are there, check with them about what address they have on record for you. Is it your home address? If not, where is it? What about identifying information - mother's maiden name, etc.? Can you specify a new question for them to ask to verify your identity, one to which only you know the answer? When should you receive a monthly statement? In future, if you do not receive monthly statements, call the bank and ask for copies. Examine the statements every month to be sure there are no charges you do not recognize.
4. If you know the ex-girlfriend's (current girlfriend's?) name, it wouldn't hurt to run a google search on her either. A search on zabasearch.com will turn up her past and current addresses. (Zabasearch.com is an evil, privacy-destroying search engine, and lots of people hate it for good reason, but it does have its uses and this is one of them.) You might, while you're at it, want to try and find out whether there are any outstanding warrants against her or your daughter. If there are, informing the police of her whereabouts may be a great way to make her less of a problem for you and your family for the immediate future.
If your daughter was taking your money while living with this woman, it's possible that she shared your personal info with her, and that the girlfriend may be using it as well. Find out.
5. Google and zabasearch your own name. Do you appear to have any addresses you aren't aware of? There may be other people with your name, but are there other people with your name and birthday who seem to be living at your daughter's old apartment, at the same address as the daughter's ex, or in the same town as you? That's unlikely to be a coincidence, and may indicate an address on which you have been listed as paying a utility bill or receiving a bank statement.
You need to find out how deep this particular financial hole is, and you need to close as many leaks as possible.
Some things you need to know:
Your bank or credit card company will NEVER ask you to give them account information over the phone. If someone says they are from a bank and they need your account information, ask them for their number so you can call them back. Before you call them back, run a reverse lookup on the number (you can do this at www.whitepages.com
, or you can run a google search for it). If the number does not appear to belong to the bank, do not call. A reverse lookup on a cellphone number will get you almost no information - at best, you will get the name of the cellphone carrier the number is registered with. A reverse lookup on a bank number should get you the business name of the bank.
You should never give out credit card or personal information over the phone unless YOU call a business (don't give it out if they call you, only if you call them), and unless there is a legitimate business reason to do so.