NEED HELP! Best Book on SEX Issues for Teen Boy?? - Mothering Forums
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#1 of 6 Old 05-15-2003, 12:02 AM - Thread Starter
 
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BOY DO I NEED SOME HELP..THOUGHT I KNEW ATTATCHMENT PARENTING BACKWARD AND FORWARD AT THIS POINT..I HAVE 3 CHILDREN, ALL BREASTFED/SLEPT IN BED WITH US/NOW HOMESCHOOLED..WELL, MY OLDEST IS NOW 14 AND HE IS HAVING ALOT OF QUESTIONS NOT ABOUT BODY CHANGES AS MUCH AS SEXUAL RELATION QUESTIONS...HAVING BEEN HOMESCHOOLED HE IS NOT AS WORLDLY AS OTHER 14 YR OLD BOYS THOUGH HE PLAYS TENNIS DAILY AND HEARS ALOT FROM THE OTHER KIDS..

BUT HE IS VERY CONTENT BEING "SLOW" REGARDING SEXUAL RELATIONSHIPS AND HAS EVEN CONSIDERED VIRGINITY UNTIL MARRIAGE..PROBABLY MORE OUT OF FEAR THAN ANYTHING ELSE..
I AM VERY OPEN WITH HIM AND WE DISCUSS EVERYTHING BUT IN PRESENTING INFORMATION LIKE AIDS,SEX, LOVE, ETC, I THINK I MAY BE SCARING HIM WHEN ALL I AM TRYING TO DO IS BE OPEN AND UPFRONT..

I AM DESPERATE FOR A GOOD BOOK ON TEEN SEXUAL ISSUES BUT WANT SOMETHING THAT IS FOLLOWS THE SAME PATTERN OF ATTATCHMENT PARENTING AND LA LECHE LEAGUE IDEAS AS I HAVE ALWAYS FOLLOWED..

PLEASE, PLEASE..IF ANY ONE OUT THERE KNOWS OF A BOOK EITHER RECOMMENDED BY MOTHERING MAG OR DR.SEARS OR SUCH, PLEASE LET ME KNOW..

THOUGHT I KNEW IT ALL..BUT TEENAGEHOOD IS KEEPING ME UP AT NIGHT..MY POOR KID SEEMS TO BE WORKING HIMSELF INTO A STATE FROM ALL OF MY INFORMATION TO THE POINT WHERE HE ASKED ME IF IT WAS NORMAL TO NOT WANT TO KISS/HAVE SEX YET AT 14..HELP!!!:
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#2 of 6 Old 05-15-2003, 12:59 AM
 
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My sister found 2 good ones at a bookstore. I don't remember what they are called, but one is by the same author as "Where did I come from?" which is a good basic book for younger kids. The one she got is geared for younger teens, discussing both boys and girls -her kids are a girl, 12 and a boy, 14, who sounds much like your son. Can't remember the name of the other one, but it looked really good. She found them by browsing at Barnes and Noble.

Also, Planned Parenthood has an awesome class for that age -one for each boys and girls and the parents are involved as well. My sister's kids also did the classes and she said they were very well done.

Good luck, sorry the books suggestions were so vague. I could ask her the titles if you are interested.

Alison
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#3 of 6 Old 05-15-2003, 11:30 AM
 
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I highly recommend "It's Perfectly Normal" by Robie Harris. Here's a link:

http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/se...826666-7779047
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#4 of 6 Old 07-31-2003, 07:04 PM
 
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My favorite is a series of books called the Learning About Sex series.
Why Boys and Girls Are Different - ages 3-5
Where do Babies Come From - ages 6-8
How You are Changing - ages 8-11
Sex and the New You - 11=14
Love Sex and God - ages 14 and up
How to Talk Confidently with Your Child About Sex

Available at Concordia Publishing House or Amazon.
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#5 of 6 Old 08-01-2003, 07:39 AM
 
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I personally think It's Perfectly Normal could be a little on the young side for someone going on 15, but it wouldn't hurt to get it.

I think hands down, the newest edition of Changing Bodies, Changing Lives is one of the most valuable books out there on sexuality issues for teens.

I'm pro-adoption reform, but not anti-adoption.
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#6 of 6 Old 08-01-2003, 02:53 PM
 
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I second the recommendation for Changing Bodies, Changing Lives. Also, I would just go to a large bookstore and browse the appropriate section (sometimes those books are shelved with "parenting your teen", sometimes with sex books, sometimes with "young adult nonfiction", depending on the store) to see what's available and read some portions of each.

In talking with him, I'd take this tactic: "Of course it is normal not to feel ready for sex and kissing. It's very wise to understand and admit that you're not ready! Some people feel that they have to rush into things so they can impress their friends, but on the inside most of them feel pretty nervous about it." Instead of talking about the scary things to be avoided by abstaining, spin it and talk about positive signs of readiness that he will feel later.

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