my daughter and her myspace. - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 9 Old 03-11-2007, 10:04 PM - Thread Starter
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I am a single mom and I have a daughter who is turning 13 this year. I raised her by myself and my parents are my there to guide me through. And now, I am a little worried because my daughter is into these Myspace thing and at first I was cool about it not until I've read a message from his myspace friend telling her that they should meet up somewhere around town. Take note my daughter is only 12 years old(for now). My daughter is this sort of spoiled and rebellious kinda of kid. Maybe I am just paranoid. I've read articles about the danger of myspace to our kids over the net. Am I already overly protective of her? I have talked to her about it and she did not say anything.
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#2 of 9 Old 03-11-2007, 10:11 PM
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well, I wouldn't reccomend her ever meeting anyone she meets online in person *period* unless there are mutual friends and it is in the company of others.

IMO, myspace is not as dangerous as it is hyped up to be (jmo)

She can set her page to private and only allow friends that she knows. You could also get a page yourself and 'friend' her. You could make it fun. You could be involved. I know people have very differing opinions on the subject. Just remember that the media is really down on myspace when I think it can be used as a fun tool for friends to keep in contact. Like I said, jmo.

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#3 of 9 Old 03-11-2007, 10:12 PM
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my children are not allowed to have a myspace...and any profile they have on the net i have to have the pw to...i also have to approve the pics that are put up there...of course this is made easier by not having a computer available to the kids...

maybe you can compromise and get her a yahoo or msn IM...with yahoo you can see who she has been talking to and what they have been saying...

there are also a lot of security things now with the main messenger groups (yahoo, aim, etc) you could look into that and go with something that works for you...then you can allow her time on the computer and hopefully be able to trust her to do something more...


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#4 of 9 Old 03-12-2007, 11:13 AM
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My 10 yr old dd has a myspace account and so does her df. We have her account on private. We monitor her emails, comments and who her friends are. I have denied older kids (from youth group) because i thought their myspace was to old for my dd to be exposed to often. I also asked my sister to delete something off of her myspace that i didn't want her to see. So, I check not only her myspace, but her friends as well.

I know this may sound overprotective, but I would rather that than her see something bad. I don't want her to ask me when she gets older why in the world I would let her be exposed to something like you can see on the internet. She has no arguments with our monitoring, she knows we just want her eyes, ears and mind to be safe.

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#5 of 9 Old 03-12-2007, 02:52 PM
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my 12 yrold dd has a myspace. The only way that I would agree to it for her was if she helped me create a profile as well and added me to her friend list. I also have her password and have to approve anything that is on the page. Her page and mine are both set to private, so no one that isn't on her friend list can view it. As it turned out I ended up with all her friends on my friends list as well. Nothing bad has came of this for us. DD has to have premission to be online anyway, and our computer is in the family room. All this makes it very hard for anything to go on that shouldn't. I also found some information about online safety and printed it off for dd to read. We talked about the dangers and what can happen/why I am so "overprotective".
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#6 of 9 Old 03-12-2007, 04:38 PM
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I don't think myspace (or the internet) is as scary as it's hyped up to be . . . actually, I don't think it's scary at all as long as you talk to your kids about how to stay safe.

If it were my dd wanting to meet an online friend, I would be more than happy to arrange something as long as her dad or I could be present to make sure the friend was who s/he said s/he was. Age wouldn't necessarily matter, as long as they had been truthful to begin with.

I would be an absolute hypocrite if I didn't let my kids make friends online. That's how I met most of my friends, several of whom I flew across the country to see at one point or another. I'll be taking my whole family to meet an online friend this spring. I've had too many good experiences and want my kids to have the same.

Just be clear with your daughter what your expectations are . . . if you don't want her giving out any information, or if she can get together with her friends when you're around, etc.

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#7 of 9 Old 03-13-2007, 01:10 AM
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In agreement with Jessie here. The internet is not going away and prohibition leads to sneakiness which is just not as safe as everything out in the open. Your objective is to keep dd safe and healthy as she learns to navigate in the world and the web. Respect freedom of expression and privacy but teach media literacy. When you are available with practical assistance and real information-- people listen.
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#8 of 9 Old 03-16-2007, 11:56 AM
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I agree with pp's about the internet not being as bad as it is hyped up to be.
I have had my own myspace for over a year and just recently made one for my 12 y/o dd. With the prospect of us moving across the country it is a good way for her to keep in touch and not feel as much like she is leaving everything behind. That said...I have her pw, it's on private and set so no one over 18 or that doesn't know her name or email can talk to or email her. We are each others #1 friend on the list. She asks me when she can check email or myspace and knows I'm watching (I even did the whole DeNiro look from Meet the Parents lol)
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#9 of 9 Old 03-16-2007, 12:32 PM
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rules are meant to be broken.... i wouldn't make a big deal out of it ... i would go with her to meet any friends do it in a public place maybe even ask that that the friends parents attend the meeting...
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