I did my own thing through out school and I look back now at 30 yrs old, and am very thankful that my parents allowed me to figure out who I was without a lot of their hang ups about what I should and should not wear/look like.
I do not mean to offend, truly, but I am honestly shocked that anyone would think spaghetti straps or words on pants are a bad thing. I think that I dress pretty conservatively now days, and even I have a pair of shorts that say "Princess" on the butt (I got them from Disney World) and about a dozen spaghetti strap shirts/dresses in my dresser that I love. My DH just bought me a momento back from his business trip and it was... you guessed it... a spaghetti strap shirt with words across the chest (Texas...where the conference was)
A PP said that they think its wrong that its ok to wear something at 8 and 18 and no place in between, and I think thats 110% dead on. I encourage my children to respect other people, and that they all dress in their own ways, and not to judge people by how they dress, their ethnicity, their religion, etc but instead by the person themselves. My son wears what he is comfortable in, (he's 12) and my daughter will wear what she is comfortable in, when she gets old enough to choose. I think that (just my opinon) it is unhealthy to restrict a child's self expression, because I would rather my child learn who they are and experiment with fashion when I am there to help guide them, than go crazy when they turn 18 and are out on their own. Better to wear the "unusual" clothing in school and get the feedback from classmates (good and bad, that will help shape your choices) than get it on a job interview, ya know?