Join Date: Nov 2002
Location: lorrie in Chicago
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Wow my experience with this has been so different than the above posters. My boyfreind in high school was irresponsible and impulsive - he had a good heart but a hot head. Perhaps he has a streak of cruelity in him. He was trouble, but minor trouble - like a speeding ticket, running away one weekend, lying, having long hair, yelling at his parents, sneaking out. Anyway, his parents did "tough love" with him and when he didn't follow their rules, they kicked him out. He stayed with my family for a month or two, went back home, got kicked out again, and eventually went to live with his grandmother an hour away. She indulged him. Now at 33 he is married, father of two, and is very stable. I attribute this to his grandmother's unconditional love (as well as to his wife). His grandmother did put up with some shit though.
He has never forgiven his mom. His anger at her, 15 years later, is astounding.
Perhaps his parents didn't really follow "tough love," just used the concept to justify trying to control him and then kicking him out. They also stuck him in CDU (chemical dependency unit- a substance abuse hospital for juviniles) for run-of-the-mill teenage drinking; it was there that he first tried drugs. Guess I am still a little angry at his parents too . . .