16 year old daughter and hair dye - Page 2 - Mothering Forums
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Preteens and Teens > 16 year old daughter and hair dye
scherzo's Avatar scherzo 02:02 AM 05-29-2007
Regarding henna hair dye, www.hennaforhair.com is a very helpful site that explains (among other things) that henna can be used over chemical dyes if and only if the henna is very pure (body art quality).

Kushali's Avatar Kushali 04:13 AM 05-29-2007
I remember my sister and I went through several years of "I want blue hair". My mom's solution was to offer to buy a wig if we didn't dye our hair. I never took her up on it, but my sister had about half a dozen wigs by the time she went to college. I have some pictures of her in a blue bob that she wore often.

I think she got the wigs on sale at the costume store. They couldn't have been too expensive beacuse my sister bought some with her baby sitting money when my mom stopped paying for them.
EdnaMarie's Avatar EdnaMarie 05:35 AM 05-29-2007
I would tell her, "I think you look better blond. That's my opinion." And let her dye her hair. I wouldn't pay for it, though. But then, I don't think parents should pay for non-necessities for a 16-year-old and that is not something that every family agrees on.

I would never pay for DD to go to a salon for a dye job, either. If she wants a good dye job, she can pay for it.

I guess my limit would be paying for a repair job right before an important event, if she'd dyed it herself and it turned out badly. I would do that, out of love and sympathy. But not otherwise.
Alkenny's Avatar Alkenny 07:31 PM 05-31-2007
Mamma Mia's Avatar Mamma Mia 07:35 PM 05-31-2007
It's her hair. Why do you care? Also, can you hear your own mother saying to you that the way you style your hair is so much less flattering that the way *she* thinks you should do it? At 16 she knows what she wants to look like. I'm surprised it's even an issue! My dd has been choosing new haircolors since age 2.5!
mommy68's Avatar mommy68 11:09 PM 05-31-2007
I would let her do it too. Maybe you could make it special and take her to a salon to have it done properly. I would pick my battles wisely and not argue over something like this. It could be worse. She could be asking for a tattoo or a peircing in a not so nice place on her body. I would allow my child to get a normal hair coloring done, but not blue or orange or something. That would be a definite no-no in our family.
Mamma Mia's Avatar Mamma Mia 11:13 PM 05-31-2007
My dd is 4.5 and has already done her hair red, orange, green, purple and magenta. Next, she says, is atomic pink. Who am I to tell her what to do with her hair?
alaskaberry's Avatar alaskaberry 07:02 PM 06-05-2007
just lurking around the forums...not a mom to a teen, but it wasn't that long ago for me, so I recall it well...

I used to dye my hair with manic panic--and my mother's bathtub too. IMHO, you ought to let her dye her hair...as long as she uses her own money to do it. And if she messes it up (which is why it's good to dye hair with a friend), that's her problem...don't pay to fix it!
Tishie's Avatar Tishie 10:14 PM 06-05-2007
I'm glad you've decided not to sweat it! Hair color can be so much fun, and it's one of the best things about being young, IMO - clothes, hair, makeup, etc... just having the freedom to try out whatever sort of look you want to. My son had green hair when he was 11, then grew it down his back, then shaved it off. My daughter has had blonde streaks, blue streaks, etc... starting when she was 8 years old. Heck, just a few years ago, I had purple chunks in my hair - the beauty of going back to school.
Shane's Avatar Shane 01:27 AM 06-15-2007
Originally Posted by mommy68 View Post
I would allow my child to get a normal hair coloring done, but not blue or orange or something. That would be a definite no-no in our family.
I don't understand this way of thinking. My Dh feels the same though, but he can't explain why, just that it's the way his parents were. Well, that's the way my parents were too, they say it's religious. I'm religious too, and can't find what they're talking about in the Bible. So I say, who cares if she wants pink hair or whatever color. She's 16 years old. It's not like she's trying to land that corperate career position. It's just hair it'll grow back. You aught to let her shave it if she wants to.
midstreammama's Avatar midstreammama 01:34 AM 06-15-2007
I'm glad you are at a place now that you are okay with. It's not a battle I'd be willing to pick either.


Originally Posted by Alkenny View Post
I love her hair!
DavinaT's Avatar DavinaT 11:30 AM 06-18-2007
I would agree with most of the posters here.
Her hair, her decision.
She is 16, a young woman.

To what extent you fund it is entirely your decision
PikkuMyy's Avatar PikkuMyy 02:34 AM 06-20-2007
Let her do whatever she likes with it. Really, it's not a battle that's in any way worth it.
maliceinwonderland's Avatar maliceinwonderland 09:11 AM 06-20-2007
Ugh..Can I trade kids with one of you? I am dying to give my dd a funky hair colour, but she doesn't want to! When she was three she had her hair purple, then green but she's gotten square in her old age
arlecchina's Avatar arlecchina 06:36 PM 06-20-2007
Originally Posted by SusannaG View Post
My 16 year old daughter has naturally blonde hair but has been wanting to dye it dark brown or black. She has actually done this a few times. I got tired of arguing with her about it and came to a "It's her hair -- what's my problem?" conclusion. The last time she dyed it, it turned a strange orange color, and I took her to the hairdresser who re-dyed it (dark brown) since that's what she wanted.

The thing is -- I think she looks much better blonde. Her eyes are blue and she is fair-skinned, and it just looks much more natural to me.

She is hounding me again -- I want to dye my hair! What would you tell her? Is it me that's being ridiculous? I want her to leave her hair alone.
ah I was (and am) the same way, I was the only one in my family that is (was) blonde and I HATED IT. and to this day I dye it dark reds and purples...I wasnt allowed to dye it till I was 18 and my stepdad intervened...no harm done, like you said, it's her hair.
jennnk's Avatar jennnk 07:01 PM 06-20-2007
Because of the potential for disaster/mess when using at-home dyes, I'd lay down two rules:
1. if using permanent dye, it gets done professionally
2. she pays for it herself

I was a teen not too long ago, and the first time I dyed my hair it was BRIGHT red and Mom didn't know I was doing it (best friend's bathroom!). It quickly faded, thanks to sunlight and red's natural tendency to fade, to a pretty strawberry blonde.

I recommend the first rule because of my own (and my friends') awful experiences with at-home dye jobs. A few examples: We tried correcting an awful magenta (was supposed to be light pink) with "dark ash blonde" which was really "dead twig" on my head and didn't match anything I owned except one grey t-shirt. I had to wait a week before we could overdye it with pale brown (closer to my natural dirty blonde), but I stuck with streaks and temporary colors from then on. Once in college, I tried doing the at-home thing again, and apparently the time they say to leave stuff on isn't long enough, and pale strawberry blonde can easily become macaroni & cheese orange. According to the stylist who corrected that botched job, the time limit on the box is about HALF what it should be, but the companies are afraid people are going to fry their heads.

I recommend the second rule because then she'll appreciate the power of saving & purchasing something she thinks is important, and you don't have to financially support something you don't necessarily agree with.
~Nikki~'s Avatar ~Nikki~ 01:06 PM 06-24-2007
As others have said, it's just hair. This is probably the most harmless creative outlet (aside from wacky clothing) that they could want. I'd much rather have my child dying their hair wild colors, than begging for consent for piercings or tattoos, which would be more difficult to correct if they changed their mind later. :P

Starting from around age 14, my hair was a rainbow of colors. I'll never forget my father coming home to tell me about his new highschool co-op student, who went in that morning to say "Oh my gosh, there's this girl who got on the bus this morning with half of her hair blue and half of her hair pink. What the hell was she thinking. She's insane!" to which my father responded "Uh yeah...that'd be my daughter." Woops.

Being a natural blond at the time, my only advice would be to avoid dyes with "ash" in the name. They'll turn a blond's hair green. But I was very grateful that my parents were so cool with letting me dye my OWN hair. I got it all out of my system in my teens, and actually haven't had dye in my hair (even normal colors) in - wow - 10 years now. I plan to naturally grey.
BedHead 06:59 PM 06-26-2007
My blonde, blue eyed 13 yo daughter recently dyed her hair blue/black. At home in the bathroom in the middle of the night. She said she thought I would freak on her. Despite the fact that I have always told her if she wanted to dye her hair she could, she'd just have to pay for it. She was surprised that I didn't freak at her when she showed me. It's only hair, after all.
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