11-year-old girls.
I'm having doubts about my DD's level of maturity, and am wondering if our quiet, let-them-be-kids lifestyle is holding her back.
My DD will be 11 in September. She's going into sixth grade. Her favorite playmate is her almost-8-year-old sister. Now that it's summer, they play together all day, making things for their stuffed animals, making them talk in weird voices, creating elaborate set-ups for them, collecting rocks, roller-blading, scootering, coming inside, going outside, playing horses . . .
My DD has three best friends from school and a dear lifelong friend. She plays well with all of them, and gets along easily with other children she knows from school. But she's disinterested in the complexities that come up in relationships with other children. She's very uncomfortable with conflict and tends to walk away from any complicated social issues (and there have been a few among her friends this past year). She doesn't like to sit and talk. She wants to PLAY. Or do artwork. Or read.
Because she's our oldest, we're not sure if her playfulness is normal. DH worries that we're holding her back by letting her "play down" with her younger sister so much. But they're so compatible and imaginative and comfortable together. They both have other friends; they're just most interested in hanging out with each other when they're away from school. Even on playdates where each girl has a same-aged friend over, they tend to bring the group together so everyone can play something complex and imaginative, dressing up in costumes to put on a play or creating a puppet show out of stuffed animals and a loft window.
DD doesn't care about clothes. She wears her hair in a ponytail every day to keep it out of her way. She likes sweet movies and books about animals and families, and has almost no exposure to current pop culture.
Perhaps driving my worries is the graduation ceremony that was held at her elementary school last week. Girls graduating from fifth grade were dressed to the hilt--several of them looked like 25-year-olds getting ready to go out on a serious date, with fancy dresses, heels, makeup, hair professionally done. Many of the girls her age--albeit not the ones she's interested in hanging around with--are already into boys and clothes and hair. 90 percent of her fifth-grade classmates will attend middle school for sixth grade; we've opted to keep DD at the elementary school, feeling that she's not ready for the middle school environment. She'll be part of one small class of sixth graders whose parents made the same choice. (Two of her best friends will be there with her.)
I guess I need some reassurance that we're not hindering her maturity or setting her up to be made fun of. We live in a very socially competitive community and I definitely see girls her age who are zooming ahead of her maturity-wise. Can you mamas offer any perspective?
Anne
I'm having doubts about my DD's level of maturity, and am wondering if our quiet, let-them-be-kids lifestyle is holding her back.
My DD will be 11 in September. She's going into sixth grade. Her favorite playmate is her almost-8-year-old sister. Now that it's summer, they play together all day, making things for their stuffed animals, making them talk in weird voices, creating elaborate set-ups for them, collecting rocks, roller-blading, scootering, coming inside, going outside, playing horses . . .
My DD has three best friends from school and a dear lifelong friend. She plays well with all of them, and gets along easily with other children she knows from school. But she's disinterested in the complexities that come up in relationships with other children. She's very uncomfortable with conflict and tends to walk away from any complicated social issues (and there have been a few among her friends this past year). She doesn't like to sit and talk. She wants to PLAY. Or do artwork. Or read.
Because she's our oldest, we're not sure if her playfulness is normal. DH worries that we're holding her back by letting her "play down" with her younger sister so much. But they're so compatible and imaginative and comfortable together. They both have other friends; they're just most interested in hanging out with each other when they're away from school. Even on playdates where each girl has a same-aged friend over, they tend to bring the group together so everyone can play something complex and imaginative, dressing up in costumes to put on a play or creating a puppet show out of stuffed animals and a loft window.
DD doesn't care about clothes. She wears her hair in a ponytail every day to keep it out of her way. She likes sweet movies and books about animals and families, and has almost no exposure to current pop culture.
Perhaps driving my worries is the graduation ceremony that was held at her elementary school last week. Girls graduating from fifth grade were dressed to the hilt--several of them looked like 25-year-olds getting ready to go out on a serious date, with fancy dresses, heels, makeup, hair professionally done. Many of the girls her age--albeit not the ones she's interested in hanging around with--are already into boys and clothes and hair. 90 percent of her fifth-grade classmates will attend middle school for sixth grade; we've opted to keep DD at the elementary school, feeling that she's not ready for the middle school environment. She'll be part of one small class of sixth graders whose parents made the same choice. (Two of her best friends will be there with her.)
I guess I need some reassurance that we're not hindering her maturity or setting her up to be made fun of. We live in a very socially competitive community and I definitely see girls her age who are zooming ahead of her maturity-wise. Can you mamas offer any perspective?
Anne