HAPPY update to "Would you let her keep the child" - Mothering Forums

Forum Jump: 
Reply
 
Thread Tools
#1 of 147 Old 06-22-2007, 05:10 PM - Thread Starter
 
nextcommercial's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2005
Posts: 4,589
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Grandma just stopped by with good news!

Her grand daughter gave up her baby for adoption to a family that she chose. An elementary school P.E teacher and her husband They have adopted two other boys and the new baby will have brothers. The teenager is very excited to have been able to choose the family.

She picked the family she most wished she had grown up in, and wanted that for her child. (tissues please)

Everybody is pleased with her choice.

The teenager WILL be going to a group home in a few weeks, she is in a juvenile hall facility right now. Then she's off to a girl's home that is waaaaaaay across town, so she and her boyfriend will not be able to see each other for a while.

I hope this is the help she needs.
nextcommercial is offline  
#2 of 147 Old 06-22-2007, 06:21 PM
 
txgal's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2003
Location: Texas
Posts: 1,033
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
It sounds like the baby will get the loving and stable home that she deserves. I hope the teen mom gets the same too. Such difficult decisions that no "child" should have to make.
txgal is offline  
#3 of 147 Old 06-22-2007, 09:39 PM
 
Jessy1019's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2006
Location: Flemington, NJ
Posts: 3,514
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
I'm sorry but that doesn't sound particularly happy for either of them. It sounds like a terrible loss.

Proud Anti-Adoption, Atheist, Reproductive-Freedom Fighter Mama
Rylie is 7, Ronin is 3.5
Jessy1019 is offline  
#4 of 147 Old 06-22-2007, 09:46 PM
Banned
 
MillingNome's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2005
Location: hunting in Gilead
Posts: 6,414
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by Jessy1019 View Post
I'm sorry but that doesn't sound particularly happy for either of them. It sounds like a terrible loss.


Perhaps we can split the difference and call it bitter sweet. We know nothing about how open or closed the adoption is nor the girl's feeling towards it. One can hope that this is at least a new beginning for the young mother (once a mommy, always a mommy in my book...) and gentle, stable and loving home for the baby
MillingNome is offline  
#5 of 147 Old 06-23-2007, 05:24 AM
 
cmhotzler's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2005
Posts: 71
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
I think that is wonderful. As sad as it might seem, that child couldn't raise a baby in a healthy enviroment-regardless of how much she loves the child etc. To say that it sounds sad is just plain mean. The baby is going to a
MUCH healthier place, the birth mom is delighted with the family and now she has a chance to grow up and become a healthy adult. Just because the baby is not raised with her doesn't mean it is sad. Just because the birth mom is there, it doesn't mean she is qualified for the job. Good for her to have the strength to let go!
cmhotzler is offline  
#6 of 147 Old 06-23-2007, 05:36 AM
 
moonbeem's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2006
Posts: 363
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by Jessy1019 View Post
I'm sorry but that doesn't sound particularly happy for either of them. It sounds like a terrible loss.
:
moonbeem is offline  
#7 of 147 Old 06-23-2007, 10:28 AM
 
lolar2's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2005
Posts: 6,584
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by nextcommercial View Post
The teenager is very excited to have been able to choose the family.

She picked the family she most wished she had grown up in, and wanted that for her child.
That's the part that pushes it to the happy side.
lolar2 is offline  
#8 of 147 Old 06-24-2007, 03:44 PM - Thread Starter
 
nextcommercial's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2005
Posts: 4,589
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by Jessy1019 View Post
I'm sorry but that doesn't sound particularly happy for either of them. It sounds like a terrible loss.
ReallY? I don't see how you can say that. If she continues to raise her child, when she herself can't even get her own life together, what kind of life would this baby have? (The baby's life is important too) He would be about four-ish when Mom ages out of foster care. Then where would they go?

You have to remember, this teenager's entire family is a complete mess. There is NOBODY to take this girl and her son in. Sure, there should be somobody who can fix her problems... but, life doesn't work that way.

So, this way, she is in a secured facility for at least a few weeks or months. When she leaves there, she will go to a girls home, where there is at least a little security. She will have a lot less opportunity to sneak out.

She doesn't belong in foster care. She needs a locked door to keep her safe inside. Hopefully this will give her a chance to focus on recreating herself. When she leaves, she can be whoever she has decided she wants to be.

I am not saying it will be a wonderful experience and she will come out of it ready for college. But, I hope it is a good experience, and I hope she can continue her education. At least high school. (she needs to re-do 8th grade)

As for the baby, he has a stable family who WANTS him. She teaches P.E and is home with all three boys during the summer. He will have a good life, I am sure of it. His mother CHOSE them out of many choices. She wanted them.

I think this is one of the first mature, loving choices she has made, and I am proud of her.
nextcommercial is offline  
#9 of 147 Old 06-24-2007, 04:01 PM
A&A
 
A&A's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2004
Posts: 16,859
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 6 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by Jessy1019 View Post
I'm sorry but that doesn't sound particularly happy for either of them. It sounds like a terrible loss.
I agree. It's too bad the teacher couldn't have adopted the teenager and let her keep her own baby (helping her raise the child, but not taking over). Now THAT would have been a happy update.

"Our task is not to see the future, but to enable it."
A&A is online now  
#10 of 147 Old 06-24-2007, 04:10 PM
 
GooeyRN's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2006
Posts: 7,119
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
I feel bad for the teen mom. It seems like everyone who wants to adopt wants a baby, not an older child/teen. She must feel a total sense of loss by giving up her baby, and not being adopted herself. However, I am glad that the teen mom got to choose the adoptive parents of the baby. At least she had *some* say in the matter. Was she heavily pressured into putting up her baby for adoption, I wonder? Poor mom also now can't see her bf, who is/was probably her only support. : I hope that the baby has a good life growing up. I really hope that the mom gets some help so she can have a somewhat normal life, too.
GooeyRN is offline  
#11 of 147 Old 06-24-2007, 04:13 PM
 
CaraNicole's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2007
Location: in the Deathly Hallows
Posts: 1,543
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by A&A View Post
I agree. It's too bad the teacher couldn't have adopted the teenager and let her keep her own baby (helping her raise the child, but not taking over). Now THAT would have been a happy update.

that's what would of been happy...i don't see anyone "giving up" their child being a happy thing...maybe i'm jaded b/c i've read about forced adoption...
CaraNicole is offline  
#12 of 147 Old 06-24-2007, 10:00 PM
 
Jessy1019's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2006
Location: Flemington, NJ
Posts: 3,514
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by nextcommercial View Post
ReallY? I don't see how you can say that.
I say it because I believe that both the mother and her child will experience a tremendous amount of pain from being separated from one another. I think it is absolutely tragic that instead of someone taking in both of them, she was forced to surrender (allowing her to choose his new caregivers doesn't mean much in the grand scheme of things, and I find it hard to believe that she came to the decision to surrender without a lot of pressure).

Quote:
As for the baby, he has a stable family who WANTS him. She teaches P.E and is home with all three boys during the summer. He will have a good life, I am sure of it. His mother CHOSE them out of many choices. She wanted them.
1. According to your original post, his mother wanted him as well.
2. His mother chose these particular adopters out of several options -- but SHE should have been the first and most encouraged choice to raise her own child.
3. This little boy will certainly have a different life, but that doesn't necessarily mean better. All any of us really know is that it will be different, and that he is not off to the best start.

Proud Anti-Adoption, Atheist, Reproductive-Freedom Fighter Mama
Rylie is 7, Ronin is 3.5
Jessy1019 is offline  
#13 of 147 Old 06-24-2007, 11:48 PM
 
MomtoEd's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2007
Posts: 21
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
I don't mean to be confrontational, really I don't, but I'm having enormous amounts of trouble understanding why you would be so anti-adoption. There are too many variables to assume that any situation will automatically be better than another, but I don't think that a mother's love trumps all. (And in this case the mother's love was coupled with a severe lack of focus at best.) The mother chose to place her baby and chose its home. I'm sorry for her loss, but I feel it's likely that stable mature parents will be a better support system for an infant than a little girl would.
MomtoEd is offline  
#14 of 147 Old 06-25-2007, 01:35 AM
Banned
 
MillingNome's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2005
Location: hunting in Gilead
Posts: 6,414
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
I think it might be helpful to understanding the situation if people would remember what this young mother's actions have been as late. Go back and read the previous thread. I did. We all know how crucial the early years are. Heck, reading through the other thread, it said this is a family cycle. Wonder why? Keeping them together would have been a good thing... IF she was showing any signs of wanting to make better choices. I'm all for trying to keep the mother and baby together but not at all cost.

She sounds like an angry out of control teen with no fathoming of consequences. At 13 with her background, who can blame her. It can be very difficult to help someone who does not want to be helped. Maybe she will pull it together in a few years. How long must her baby wait until she can be well? Would it be better if he was being shuffled through the foster care system? He has now what is said to be a stable home and parents. That's a good thing, no?

Once again, I do think this sounds like it is probably a more open adoption. She picked his intended parents, knows their names and facts about them. I guess I'd like to think it is so she can still have some contact as she matures. This may be the only good choice she's made in awhile, given the circumstances. In this case, adoption maybe the best choice. Not what would be ideal, just maybe as good as it is going to get.
MillingNome is offline  
#15 of 147 Old 06-25-2007, 03:54 AM
 
grisandole's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2002
Location: Southern California
Posts: 5,149
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 1 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by GooeyRN View Post
I feel bad for the teen mom. It seems like everyone who wants to adopt wants a baby, not an older child/teen. She must feel a total sense of loss by giving up her baby, and not being adopted herself. However, I am glad that the teen mom got to choose the adoptive parents of the baby. At least she had *some* say in the matter. Was she heavily pressured into putting up her baby for adoption, I wonder? Poor mom also now can't see her bf, who is/was probably her only support. : I hope that the baby has a good life growing up. I really hope that the mom gets some help so she can have a somewhat normal life, too.
I agree. Also, I want to point out that not everyone wants to adopt babies or younger kids, we adopted a 17yo (almost finalized) We actually only wanted school age or older when we were on the foster/adopt journey.

"Have faith in yourself and in the direction you have chosen." Ralph Marston

grisandole is offline  
#16 of 147 Old 06-26-2007, 01:29 AM
 
GooeyRN's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2006
Posts: 7,119
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by grisandole View Post
I agree. Also, I want to point out that not everyone wants to adopt babies or younger kids, we adopted a 17yo (almost finalized) We actually only wanted school age or older when we were on the foster/adopt journey.
Cool! You are the first person I *knew* that adopted an older child that wasn't related to them or their dp.
GooeyRN is offline  
#17 of 147 Old 06-26-2007, 01:34 AM
 
RiverSky's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2005
Location: Paradise
Posts: 7,290
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by Jessy1019 View Post
I'm sorry but that doesn't sound particularly happy for either of them. It sounds like a terrible loss.
I'm leaning towards this side of the fence, too. I'm not anti-adoption at all, but from the original thread, I remember the girl wanting her baby. I don't really see it as her fault that her life is pretty messy, considering what her family is like. It's a shame that she is now severely punished as a result.

Hopefully it is an open adoption and the mother doesn't come to regret this choice in later years.

Best wishes for the baby!!
RiverSky is offline  
#18 of 147 Old 06-26-2007, 02:56 AM
 
jlmack45's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2007
Location: Camp LeJeune, North Carolina
Posts: 247
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
I have some things to note and add to this discussion... Some of you are arguing that she should have been able to keep the baby just because it was hers. What were you like at 13? If I were serious about being a parent at that age I would not be sneaking off at night assuming that my great grandmother was looking after my child. My brother is 13 and I worry more about the music that he listens to than I do about him becoming a parent, and we had HORRIBLE parents. Having a bad home life is no excuse for this type of behavior at any age. Another woman pretty much stated that the girl was a mommy and that took precedence over everything. In my opinion you earn the title of mommy. My mother had a similar past and gave birth to me at 16. She was hooked on meth from my birth until 2 years ago. BTW I am 21 now, and have 2 little brothers that she/I "raised" I had to grow up to save my brothers and I was only 7, what is the difference between that and becoming a birth mother at 13. JLM is my birth mother, but the foster mother who took me in is my mom. In my experience when I was put into foster care at age 12 I was given the chance to change and I was given the stable parents that I had always needed. I was a hellion with no boss, but I changed. I would not blame the foster parents for giving up, there is only so much that you can handle. It was up to her to want to change for the sake of herself and her child. If she was continuing to act out then obviously she did not want to change. It sounds like she only wanted to play mommy, but didn't want the responsability. I can understand her needing a lot of support to be able to care for her baby, but stealing her foster parents car to go for a joy ride with a 12 year old?? UNACCEPTABLE :

**Jessica:Mommy to Laynie Claire 10/22/2007 and Ryan Wesson 8/14/2009: Loving my Marine Colt**
jlmack45 is offline  
#19 of 147 Old 06-26-2007, 03:00 AM
 
Individuation's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2006
Location: Babymooning...
Posts: 1,975
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by Jessy1019 View Post
I'm sorry but that doesn't sound particularly happy for either of them. It sounds like a terrible loss.
This. Thank you.
Individuation is offline  
#20 of 147 Old 06-26-2007, 03:54 AM
 
LynnS6's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2005
Location: Pacific NW longing for the Midwest
Posts: 12,570
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Yes, it's sad for all concerned, but the baby will get a stable and loving home.

There's a difference between a generic teen keeping a baby and this particular teen - she's a a highly unstable 13 year old (barely a teenager!), with no parenting models, highly angry, and a greater need to fulfill her own needs/desires than care for her baby. Is it her 'fault'? No. But honestly, does she have the capacity to care for this child? how many years of this baby's life should be sacrificed while she gets her act together? Some teens become capable parents. This child (she really is still a child) had the deck stacked completely against her in terms of being a decent parent.

The girl will get a chance to be in a safe environment where she might get enough stability to get a handle on her life. Her child will be in a safe environment where he can grow.

Maybe they will both break the terrible cycle their family has put them in. I can only pray.

I'm having a hard time believing how anti-adoption people are. I know 4 kids who have been adopted through open adoptions. They are in contact with their birth parents occasionally. They have that avenue open. They also have incredibly caring and capable parents who were unable to have biological children.

Lynnteapot2.GIF, academicreading.gif,geek.gif wife, WOHM  to T jog.gif(4/01) and M whistling.gif (5/04)
LynnS6 is offline  
#21 of 147 Old 06-26-2007, 05:22 PM
 
Linda on the move's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2005
Location: basking in the sunshine
Posts: 10,562
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 32 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by LynnS6 View Post
The girl will get a chance to be in a safe environment where she might get enough stability to get a handle on her life. Her child will be in a safe environment where he can grow.

Maybe they will both break the terrible cycle their family has put them in. I can only pray.
Yes, I think it will be much easier for her to build her own life without the responsbility of the baby. She deserves a real chance in life. She is just a child herself.

I'm not generalizing this to ALL teen mothers or anthing like that, but based on everything said in the other thread about girl and her situation, I think she is making the best decision she can.

I also think that there is a big difference between wanting a baby, and having any clue what it means to take care of one 24/7.

but everything has pros and cons  shrug.gif

Linda on the move is online now  
#22 of 147 Old 06-26-2007, 05:23 PM
 
thismama's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2004
Location: Nursing the revolution
Posts: 14,356
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by Jessy1019 View Post
I'm sorry but that doesn't sound particularly happy for either of them. It sounds like a terrible loss.
: :
thismama is offline  
#23 of 147 Old 06-26-2007, 05:31 PM
 
Pynki's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2002
Location: Inside the café au lait
Posts: 7,891
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by LynnS6 View Post
I'm having a hard time believing how anti-adoption people are. I know 4 kids who have been adopted through open adoptions. They are in contact with their birth parents occasionally. They have that avenue open. They also have incredibly caring and capable parents who were unable to have biological children.
I think there's a difference between seeing the sadness in a woman/girl having lived a life such as this girl apparently has, and being pretty much encouraged/forced to give her child up for adoption and being anti-adoption.

It's not anti-adoption to wish there was a way for all parents to raise their children that they want. It's not anti-adoption to think that being young and vulnerable doesn't equate to bad parenting.

It's lonely being the only XX in a house of XYs.
Pynki is offline  
#24 of 147 Old 06-26-2007, 10:07 PM
Banned
 
MillingNome's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2005
Location: hunting in Gilead
Posts: 6,414
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by RiverSky View Post
I'm not anti-adoption at all, but from the original thread, I remember the girl wanting her baby.

Ya know, I want a clean house. Unfortunetly the only way it is going to happen is if I actually DO it. I read through that whole thread again. Op said the girl wanted the baby and refused to give the baby up. Beyond that, all her actions were contrary to caring for herself let alone an infant. I've always thought actions speak louder than words.
MillingNome is offline  
#25 of 147 Old 06-26-2007, 10:37 PM
 
Roar's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2006
Posts: 4,540
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Interesting thread. How many people here think they could have been a good responsible parent at the age of 13? How many people think they could have done so if they'd been an abused kid? How many people think they could have done so without a support system?

I was an incredibly responsible, mature 13 year old who had the benefit of good parenting and a good support system and I would have had no more business having a baby than I would being a neurosurgeon. I can't think of a single 13 year old I've ever met who would be a decent parent. I can say at the age of 30 with maturity, education, resources and support raising a special needs kid has still been an incredible challenge for me.

Is it sad for this girl that she is going through this? Yes. Will it be a loss for her? Sure. It may also end up being a source of pride that she took care of herself and her baby by allowing for adoption. It is a mature choice and there is every reason to think that the baby will have a good life and every reason to hope she will too.
Roar is offline  
#26 of 147 Old 06-26-2007, 10:52 PM
 
the_lissa's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2004
Location: Southern Ontario, Canada
Posts: 13,253
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by Jessy1019 View Post
I'm sorry but that doesn't sound particularly happy for either of them. It sounds like a terrible loss.
I agree.

Jam 7, Peanut Butter 5, and Bread 2.

the_lissa is offline  
#27 of 147 Old 06-27-2007, 12:16 AM
 
Pynki's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2002
Location: Inside the café au lait
Posts: 7,891
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by Roar View Post
Interesting thread. How many people here think they could have been a good responsible parent at the age of 13? How many people think they could have done so if they'd been an abused kid? How many people think they could have done so without a support system?

I was an incredibly responsible, mature 13 year old who had the benefit of good parenting and a good support system and I would have had no more business having a baby than I would being a neurosurgeon. I can't think of a single 13 year old I've ever met who would be a decent parent. I can say at the age of 30 with maturity, education, resources and support raising a special needs kid has still been an incredible challenge for me.

Is it sad for this girl that she is going through this? Yes. Will it be a loss for her? Sure. It may also end up being a source of pride that she took care of herself and her baby by allowing for adoption. It is a mature choice and there is every reason to think that the baby will have a good life and every reason to hope she will too.

Wow. You realize there are mothers ON THESE BOARDS who post here almost daily who HAVE had their children at damn close to 13. I know a couple of them had them at 14 and 15. Are you saying they aren't or weren't "decent" parents then? Or that they are now, but only because they are close to , in their, 30's now?

What is with the idea that age somehow makes or breaks a parent? I know plenty of crappy 30-40 year old parents. Should they all be "suggested" to give their baby up for adoption? Or would that be rude since they are married, and educated? Is it only the married and educated people with great support systems that should be allowed to keep their children?

Honestly, I'm just really flabbergasted by your entire post.

It's lonely being the only XX in a house of XYs.
Pynki is offline  
#28 of 147 Old 06-27-2007, 01:11 AM
 
maria20's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2007
Posts: 6
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
yeah it's good that there is someone to look after teh baby but you should not rely on them completely. the girl need to check on if they are giving the love that the baby needs
maria20 is offline  
#29 of 147 Old 06-27-2007, 01:23 AM
 
jlmack45's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2007
Location: Camp LeJeune, North Carolina
Posts: 247
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by Pynki View Post
Wow. You realize there are mothers ON THESE BOARDS who post here almost daily who HAVE had their children at damn close to 13. I know a couple of them had them at 14 and 15. Are you saying they aren't or weren't "decent" parents then? Or that they are now, but only because they are close to , in their, 30's now?

What is with the idea that age somehow makes or breaks a parent? I know plenty of crappy 30-40 year old parents. Should they all be "suggested" to give their baby up for adoption? Or would that be rude since they are married, and educated? Is it only the married and educated people with great support systems that should be allowed to keep their children?

Honestly, I'm just really flabbergasted by your entire post.
Ok, since obviously there are women here that were young mothers let me ask them. When you had your child did you sneak off at night leaving the baby unattended assuming that someone else ( who did not know that you were gone) was watching them? If you were sent to a place that was supposed to provide help and support (FC) would you take advantage of those people and do as you pleased leaving your baby, that you wanted so badly, behind? It would be different if the girl had seriously stepped up to the role of a parent, but she didn't. If you are mature enough to have sex then you had better be mature enough to handle all consequences. Wanting your baby is not enough, you have to make an effort to attempt to provide care for it.

**Jessica:Mommy to Laynie Claire 10/22/2007 and Ryan Wesson 8/14/2009: Loving my Marine Colt**
jlmack45 is offline  
#30 of 147 Old 06-27-2007, 05:48 AM
 
rabrog's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2005
Location: Alaska
Posts: 8,319
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by cmhotzler View Post
I think that is wonderful. As sad as it might seem, that child couldn't raise a baby in a healthy enviroment-regardless of how much she loves the child etc. To say that it sounds sad is just plain mean. The baby is going to a
MUCH healthier place, the birth mom is delighted with the family and now she has a chance to grow up and become a healthy adult. Just because the baby is not raised with her doesn't mean it is sad. Just because the birth mom is there, it doesn't mean she is qualified for the job. Good for her to have the strength to let go!
I totally agree with this. A mother is not a mother just because she produced a baby.

Jenn
rabrog is offline  
Reply

Quick Reply
Message:
Drag and Drop File Upload
Drag files here to attach!
Upload Progress: 0
Options

Register Now

In order to be able to post messages on the Mothering Forums forums, you must first register.
Please enter your desired user name, your email address and other required details in the form below.
User Name:
If you do not want to register, fill this field only and the name will be used as user name for your post.
Password
Please enter a password for your user account. Note that passwords are case-sensitive.
Password:
Confirm Password:
Email Address
Please enter a valid email address for yourself.
Email Address:

Log-in

Human Verification

In order to verify that you are a human and not a spam bot, please enter the answer into the following box below based on the instructions contained in the graphic.



User Tag List

Thread Tools
Show Printable Version Show Printable Version
Email this Page Email this Page


Forum Jump: 

Posting Rules  
You may post new threads
You may post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are Off